The Female Gaze

If you’d like to learn more about what turns women on visually, then you won’t want to miss this exciting presentation by editor of Filament Magazine, Suraya Sidhu Singh

‘The female gaze’ – Photographing men erotically for women

This will be a presentation rich in photographic examples – ranging from the stunning, to the hilarious, to the baffling – as well as unravelling research findings, all of which tell us a story about the beauty of the erotic mind and the constricted, stereotyped world in which women’s erotica has often been produced.

Where?

Sh! Women’s Store

Spaces are limited, but totally free, so email Renee at renee@sh-womenstore.com to book a place.

When?

Wednesday 20 January at 7 pm.

About Suraya Sidhu Singh

New Zealand born and London-based, 31-year-old Suraya Sidhu Singh is the editor and founder of Filament magazine (http://www.filamentmagazine.com <http://www.filamentmagazine.com/> ), the first women’s magazine that seeks to present a genuine female gaze in its photography of men. She has studied research-informed public policy and worked as an advisor in various government agencies for nine years, before becoming an editor and pornographer.

 

Good Review!

Best Women’s Erotica 2010 appeals to men too, according to this great review in Calgary Life and Style

 

Best Women’s Erotica 2010

Left to right, Jacqueline Applebee,
yours truly, Violet Blue, Scarlet French.

Sh!
Reading the good parts!

Remember when you were an adolescent, always skipping to the naughty parts in every book, a book you probably weren’t supposed to be reading in the first place. Actually, it was always easy to find the naughty parts because the books, any book any adolescent ever had hold of, would always just fall open to those bits from frequent perusing, if you get my meaning.
Imagine a whole book of nothing but naughty parts! Wow! Does it get any better?
That was pretty much the theme of Friday night at Sh! Women’s Store, where our amazing editor, Violet Blue, my sisters in erotica, Jacqueline Applebee and Scarlet French got to read nothing but the best bits from Cleis Books Best Women’s Erotica 2010, and Jaquie gave us a delicious taste of The Best of The Best Women’s Erotica 2, to be released in February. As you probably suspected, Women’s Best Erotica 2010 is a best bits only sort of read. The four of us, along with a very enthusiastic audience gathered in Sh! to drink pink fizz, eat cupcakes and be titillated by story. It was bliss!
Renee and Joanna and the lovely women at Sh! were hostesses extraordinaire, and I had to be practically shoved out the door at the end of the evening because it was such a great place to be. Sh! is definitely the place to find that perfect naughty gift for someone nice. (Personally I’d recommend a copy of WBE 2010 for starters.) I was occupied reading and drinking fizz Friday night, but I’ll be back with shopping list in hand.
Don’t be too disappointed if you missed it. Plans are already in the works for another reading of the best bits in March, with Best of the Best Women’s Erotica on the menu.
 

Sexy Friday Night

Wow! Check this out from Scarlett French. Am I going to be in amazing company or what?!

“Are you already sick of ‘Jingle Bells’? Fancy a bit of subversion to make you feel normal?

Then come to Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium (Hoxton Square, London N1) for a bit of pre-Christmas aural porn – this Friday, 18th December, 7pm.

Scarlett French and K D Grace will be reading from the recently launched Best Women’s Erotica 2010

Jacqueline Applebee will give us a little taster of Best of Best Women’s Erotica, due out early next year.

In addition to these consummate pleasures, I have great delight in announcing that we will have with us the sublime Violet Blue, author of many bestsellers including The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos, and How to Kiss. She is also the editor of the Best Women’s Erotica series and many other erotic anthologies. She is a high profile blogger and tech personality and can found at www.tinynibbles.com (and at Sh! this Friday!)”

The venue is limited to thirty people, so if you want to come, please call Joanna at
0207 613 54 58.

Neighbourhood: Haggerston
57 Hoxton Square
London N1 6PB

www.sh-womenstore.com

 

Erotica, the Ultimate Safe Sex

I once sat through a reading of four fairly well-known romance writers, who had great stage presence, read beautifully from their new best sellers, and answered the audience’s questions with the level of expertise one would expect from people who make their living as writers. That is until they were asked about writing sex.

There was a frisson of embarrassment across the stage and a lot of shifting and shuffling and throat clearing as all four made excuses for why they were uncomfortable writing sex and therefore didn’t do it if they could avoid it. Then the question was dismissed with all the gravity a question about the proper shade of lippy might have been.

I wanted to shout, ‘This is sex! It’s the biggie! It’s what romance leads to! It’s what made us all! Beyond the shouting, sex is the powerful leveler of persons that strips us of our facades and brings us down to the deepest part of ourselves, and occasionally the best part. It exposes our animal nature with all its crudeness and all its charm. Sex is one of the best ways for a reader to get to know a character. With that in mind, I can’t imagine why all writers aren’t dying to write their next sex scene.

I appreciate a good sex scene in a novel – any novel – because sex in fiction, no matter how dangerous, is always safe sex. I enjoy writing erotica because it allows me, and my reader, to experience sex vicariously, safely, in ways we would never experience it in the real world. In some cases it’s only to see what the appeal of being there is. In other cases it’s the fulfillment of fantasy on the written page done safely without leaving the comfort of the recliner. For me, as writer and reader, there’s also the added excitement of sharing fantasies with total strangers.

I’m told I don’t look like the type of woman who would write erotica, but the more I write, the more I wonder why the type of woman who writes erotica shouldn’t be Everywoman. We all have fantasies, and I can speak first hand as to how hot it is to write those fantasies down – in detail. No one needs to read them but ourselves. Hey, it’s a cheap sex toy – a piece of paper and a pen – a hot pink one, maybe??? It’s safe sex at its best. The world of the written page has always allowed us to walk in other dimensions, other realities, other times, and to see the world through the eyes of other people. Why shouldn’t sex be included in those other realities?

Coming home from the States on a night flight a couple of weeks ago, unable to sleep, I found myself watching the film, The Ugly Truth, with Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigle. Butler’s character is trying to help Heigle’s character develop a relationship with a hot doctor. He asks her how often she masturbates. Horrified, she says she doesn’t do that sort of thing, to which he replies, ‘If you don’t want to make love to yourself, what makes you think anyone else will want to?’

According to Wallace Shawn, “Sex really is a nation of its own. Those whose allegiance is given to sex at a certain moment withdraw their loyalty temporarily from other powers. It’s a symbol of the possibility that we might all defect for one reason or another from the obedient columns in which we march.”

I’ll admit it; I’m a defector to that nation of sex. It’s a large nation with lots of room, and I’m inviting everyone I know to defect and enjoy.

You can read Wallace Shawn’s great essay about writing sex here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2009/jun/20/wallace-shawn-writing-about-sex

 
© 2017 K D Grace
The Romance Reviews

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