Tag Archives: masturbation month

The Ruby Glow: Inviting Everyone to Sit Down for the Self Love is in the Air Blog Hop!

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Tabitha's Self love is in the Air Hop

 

 

It’s May! That means it’s Masturbation Month, and this Merry Month of May is even more special because it also means that it’s time for the Self Love is in the Air blog hop with prizes, fun and tales of self love by some of your favourite writers. the Self Love is in the Air blog hop is not only celebrating the personal touch, as it were, but even more importantly, celebrating Brit Babes’ very own Tabitha Rayne’s wonderful new invention, the Ruby Glow sit-down sex toy, now sold by Rocks On and nominated for 2016 ETO Awards Most Innovative New Sex Toy!

 

 

And it’s no wonder the Ruby Glow is up for an ETO award. Just read what the Rocks Off website says about the Ruby ETO_AWARDS_2016_NOMINEEGlow:

“A saddle style non-penetrative toy, designed to stimulate your whole vulva. The Ruby Glow has a ribbed clitoral stimulator and vibrating vaginal/perineal mound which sit snugly in place anchored by your pubic bone. Dual vibrations are controlled by buttons at the front for easy access, putting you in control of your orgasm. Made from firm yet velvety silicone, Ruby Glow can be used through clothing but is skin safe to enable full contact if desired. The Ruby Glow has many unique contours making it also ideal for using against your body as a traditional clitoral stimulator or massager. Let the potent sensual rhythms of Ruby Glow be your guide as you feel your body respond and move to its powerful dual heartbeats, seductively taking you to your ultimate hands free orgasm.”

 

 

 

I’ve been privileged to be one of the testers for the Ruby Glow, and I have to say it’s right up my alley, since I have a little bit of a fetish for hands-off getting off. I’m especially fond of secret self pleasure in the back of busses that are, well perhaps not the best maintained. In fact, I had the total hands off secret wank in the back of the bus in mind when I wrote my poem, The Dodgy Bus for Ashley Lister’s fabulous Coming Together In Verse anthology, which was long-listed for the Saboteur Award. Now with Tabitha’s fabulous Ruby Glow causing people all over the UK to sit down and take notice, I can’t help but feel that I’m the not the only one who liked to sit down on the job. Enjoy!

 

 

And don’t forget to comment for a chance to win your own Ruby Glowbritbabes_badge_1

Just follow this link to find all the other lovely folk taking part-

http://tabitharayne.com/2016/05/self-love-air-blog-hop / and you could win some incredible prizes- including a Ruby Glow by Rocks Off and paperback copies of Sexy Just Walked Into Town by Brit Babes, Chemical S[ex] edited by Oleander Plume and A Clockwork Butterfly by Tabitha herself – and most exciting of all- some of Tabitha’s beautiful artwork is up for grabs.

 

 

AND!!! I’d like to add a copy of my travel novella, Migrations , which opens with a filthy self love scene, to the pot. Just leave a comment for a chance to win.

 

 

Coming together in verse Ashley-ListerCTIV2-200x300The Dodgy Bus

I always ride the dodgy bus no matter my destination.

Though the windows rattle and the floorboards shake,

I ride without hesitation.

 

Ignoring the stench of the oil and grease, I ride with enthusiasm,

Cuz it’s only on the dodgy bus I get the best orgasm.

 

Once onboard, I head for the back, as always is my habit,

Where the seats vibrate and shiver and shake like a really Rampant Rabbit.

 

My man-spread’s quite unladylike, but I open my legs real wide,

Ignoring the stares and the dirty looks. I’m only along for the ride.

 

While others get quite anxious, their stops anticipating,

No one ever guesses I’m just here masturbating.

 

The lack of good shocks makes my tits shake, the vibrations, they tickle my clit.12340460-urban-sketch-sign-with-image-bus-stop-and-man

I’m an expert at finding the sweet spot on the naugahyde seat where I sit.

 

I don’t care if it’s cheap or it’s pricy, don’t mind if it costs a good sum.

Though I may not get where I’m going, I always have a good cum.

 

***

 

Don’t forget to catch up with all the other blog hop blogs while you’re at it!

Happy Masturbation Month! In Praise of the One-Handed Read

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I’m a bit like a kid at Christmas when May rolls around. Why’s that, you ask. It’s National Masturbation month, that’s Sex toy incentiveMG00625-20140322-1049

why! I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see something as healthy, life-affirming, and down-right fun as masturbation get a little much-needed positive press. So I decided that, as National Masturbation month draws to a close (not that the fun is ending, just the month) that I’d write a few words in praise of the much-maligned one-handed read.

I’ve always felt that just because a writer strives to give the reader a well-rounded literary experience with a story that’s gripping (no pun intended), pacey, thought-provoking and satisfying on some level; just because a writer tries to offer the reader a well-written, stonking good story doesn’t mean that  stonking good story can’t involve a little one-handed pleasure mixed in. Why the hell shouldn’t it?

Doesn’t it seem strange and more than a little sad that some of the world’s best, most celebrated writers find themselves on the not-so-coveted short-list for the Bad Sex Awards? Is there some misguided, unwritten rule that states a story is only ‘worthy’ if it doesn’t make the reader squirm deliciously in her seat, if it doesn’t makes her need to engage one hand in areas far south of the novel in her grip? And where the hell did we get the idea that just that one act, in fact the most crucial act of the human condition, sex, should not be treated with the same weight, or the same tongue-in cheek irreverence or the same heart pounding delight or wonder or horror as any other part of the human condition?

If a writer gets the sex right, I mean gets it really right, then what other response should there be but for our bodies to books_xl_4571699tingle and our hands to stray?

Which leads me to another reason why a one-handed read should be praised and sought after by readers and writers alike. A well-written one-handed read engages the reader on a physical level that no other type of read can. A one-handed read takes the reader a level deeper than the voyeuristic experience that reading tends to be. A one-handed read allows and demands reader participation in solidarity with the characters, and, indeed, with the writer. The story suddenly becomes interactive in a literal sense. And even more than that, the story suddenly becomes a sexy ménage between the reader, the characters and the writer.

Okay, maybe it’s that feeling of exposure; maybe it’s that fear of being caught in the act, so to speak, that frightens writers away from making the sex hot and squirmy. But it’s a lesson straight from the pages of creative writing 101 that the place we most fear, the place we feel the most vulnerable is the place where the most powerful writing happens. Embrace the wank!

Those of us who love to read love a story we can be pulled into. I love a good adrenalin rush, a good heart stopper, a good brain teaser, a good tear jerker, a good happy ending, so why wouldn’t I like a good wank all in the spirit of a sexy story? Why do we think that good writing is negated if our stories make people want to go rub one out?

I’ve been involved in the world of erotica for enough years now to have seen the quality of writing go through the roof, enough years to have been gripped by heart-stopping, tear jerking, brain-teasing stories that STILL have fabulous, seamlessly-written, deliciously sensual one-handed scenes. Why can’t a good book be both a page turner and a one-handed read? We now connect with story on so many more levels than ever before. We read eBooks, we listen to audio books, we curl up with a good old fashion trade paper-back and a glass of wine. But really, was there ever a time when reading a good book wasn’t intended to be a sensual experience, wasn’t meant to make us FEEL things in our body that we wouldn’t otherwise feel, wasn’t meant to scratch an itch that nothing else could quite scratch? So why, oh why, should we exclude that best of, most intimate of — that even better than a nice glass of wine sensual experience of the one-handed read?

Oh no doubt there’ll always be a need for sexy snippets just long enough and hot enough to get the rocks off, and I like
those just fine too. But why should one-handed reads be reserved for just such works? Why shouldn’t the sex scenes in any type of novel or story be well-written enough, steamy enough, raunchy enough to send one hand straying? It seems to me that if a sex scene is well written, then we should at least feel something down in the genital direction. I’m not saying that everything written about sex should be a turn-on, but I am saying it should affect us in some way because sex affects us. It affects us powerfully, uncomfortably, sometimes disturbingly, and it often affects us the most because we don’t want it to and we don’t understand why it does, nor do we understand its power over us. But it most definitely DOES have power over us. It’s supposed to have, so to try to write sex that excludes and banishes the one-handed read seems absurd.america-artist-art-paintings-prints-note-cards-by-howard-chandler-christy-nude-women-reading-approximate-original-size-18x16

Without getting all mystical and goose-pimply and bringing on the sex magic; doing my best to keep it real and genuine, I have to ask; when is there a time that a writer doesn’t want a reader to feel her work, to experience her story as so much more than words on a page? Why should our sexual responses not be fully included in the experience of story? So I’ll say it again: let’s hear it for the one-handed read!

Happy Masturbation Month! I wish you all gripping, touching, deliciously squirmy reading. And writing!

(Parts of this post excerpted from my ERWA post May 2013)

Happy Masturbation Month

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Sex toy incentiveMG00625-20140322-1049As a novelist, who writes erotic romance, May is always a red letter month on my calendar because it’s National Masturbation Month. Okay, I’ll be there first to admit that for me, every month is masturbation month,  and I’m always a bit surprised that anyone could be ashamed of such a powerful creative force.

I’ve shared this delicious tidbit about masturbation before, but as we all gear up for the rowdy, randy month of May, it’s always timely.

The ancient Egyptians believed masturbation was a creative act in its own right. In the Heliopolis creation myth, the god Amen rises from the primeval ocean, Nun, and masturbates the divine son and daughter into existence, and they populate the world. Even if I look at the Judeo/Christian myth in the first two chapters of Genesis, where God speaks the world into existence, I am still looking at a solo act.

Eric Francis on Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’s Sex Information Online site writes, ‘Masturbation is the most elemental form of sexuality, requiring only awareness and a body.

Awareness and a body. Masturbating the world into existence. It happens all the time. At the risk of offering too much information, my understanding of sex, my deepest understanding of my own sexuality, comes from awareness and my own body. That’s what I have to work with. My understanding of writing, my deepest understanding of the creative forces in me also comes from awareness and my own self.

I’m astounded that in a world where solitude and the meditative tradition is a part of almost every religious discipline, we shy away from the very concepts that could have well given birth to it, awareness and Body. Can there really even BE awareness without a body? And how can we possibly understand the boundaries and the limits of either without the two rubbing up against each other. Our act of one-ness, our proto-sexuality, as Eric Francis calls it, I suggest is by its boundary-exploring nature, also our proto-creativity.

A Snippet from Fulfilling the Contract to honour  Masturbation Month

(Caution! Adult Content)

The damned alarm went off in the middle of the hottest fuck Nick had ever had. He came up out of the Fulfilling the Contractdream roaring like an angry bear and practically slapped the clock off the night stand in his efforts to shut it off. There was no going back to sleep, not with his heart hammering and his dick stretching out between his legs like it owned the place. Cursing between his teeth, he stumbled to the bathroom with only one eye half open. Not bothering with the stop at the commode for the piss he knew he couldn’t manage as hard as he was, he shoved his way into the shower and cranked the hot water. No cold showers this morning. He had every intention of giving this dream a good send-off. For a minute he leaned against the wall letting the jets from the shower massage work their magic. Then when he was nice and wet, he soaped up, still not bothering to open his eyes, still doing his best to capture the vivid images from his dream. Once his chest and armpits, lower back and ass were well lathered, he went to work where he needed it most. And when his pubes felt like they were mounded in thick whipped cream, he closed his fist around his well-sudsed hard-on and began to stroke, letting the dream flood full-on back into his head. It had all started on the top of the Humvee in the parking lot at the Mango. It was right there in broad daylight. He had Tanya Povic’s tropical print skirt shoved up over her ass, ploughing into her fast and furious while he kneaded her gorgeous tits like they were bread dough ready to bake. They were grunting and thrusting and shoving and she kept saying in that sexy Slavic accent, ‘Is good! Is so good! Fuck me harrderr, Nick Chase, I vant to come!’ And he was happy to oblige.

The parking lot was full of people with scopes and cameras, of all things, and they were all watching Nick mount Tanya on top of the Humvee. Some of the men had cocks out tugging and jerking like they’d lose control. The women either had hands in their panties or on their tits, which they were happy to expose to the desert sun. Some of the watchers were even humping each other while Tanya kept begging him to fuck her harder.

Elsa Crane had her keyboards and monitors and electronic surveillance equipment set up on the hood of his limo. She was all bent over with her leopard print loin cloth barely covering her magnificent ass. Then all of a sudden she turned to Nick and Tanya and said in a loud voice, ‘Tanya, you’re fired. Get off Nick and let me fuck him.’ Nick watched with his cock in his hand while Elsa gave Tanya’s tits a fondle and made her bend for a good pussy-probing, as though she might be trying to stash something in that tight little hole — like office supplies maybe. It was a dream, after all. As Elsa stroked and spread and examined Tanya’s cunt, Tanya turned her attention back to Nick’s hard-on, giving him a sucking that would have made his eyes cross if he hadn’t been so keenly focused on what Elsa was doing.

Finally Elsa gave the woman a hard smack on her pert little backside, and Tanya went in and out among the crowd offering to suck cock or lick pussy for anyone who would fulfil the remains of her contract so she could get her bonus. Then the next thing he knew, Elsa had her top off and her loin cloth hoiked, as she crawled right up onto the Humvee and mounted him in a seductive squat, her tight pussy sheathing him like a surgical glove. Then she grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up to nurse on her luscious tits, a task he was totally up for. People with their cameras and scopes moved up close and personal-like, to where he could even hear their heavy breathing, which was no small feat above his own. With Elsa Crane gripping and squeezing and rocking and riding, he was about to go off like a nuclear warhead. And then … Then the damned alarm clock went off instead of him.

The tug, tug, tug on his cock against the bounce of his lead-heavy balls was just about to get him there under the pulsing of the shower, though why it should be Elsa Crane who got his cock iron-stiff, he didn’t know. She was a hard ass, if ever there was one, and she’d all but laughed at him when he’d offered to fulfil Tanya’s contract. Tug, tug, tug. She probably did laugh when he turned and left. Jesus, it was insane what they were doing. Filthy insane. He thought about the ménage he’d viewed through the telescope. Tug, tug, tug. He thought about him standing in the desert jerking off from the experience, and it was Elsa Crane he’d been fucking in his fantasy. Jesus, what was it about that woman? Was it that avalanche of thick shiny hair? Those deep blue eyes? Was it the fact that the leopard print did little to disguise the fittest body he’d ever seen? Was it the slight gravel to her voice that he just wanted to rub up against? Tug, tug, tug.

But as the dream gave way to his fantasy, she wasn’t begging him to fuck her harder. She was hardly the begging type, was she? In his fantasy, she rode him like she was a jockey and he was her stud. She didn’t need to ask him anything. She took what she wanted, and he was happy that she took it from him. Suddenly the cameras and the scopes and the watchers were almost on top of them and it was enough. All of them watching Elsa Crane fuck him until his balls exploded – it was enough. He came in a convulsing, backbreaking ejaculation that belied how hard he’d come in the desert just a few hours ago. The cascade of steamy water from the shower washed the evidence of his lust down the drain.

Consenting Adults: Let’s Stop Beating Around The Bush

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It’s my pleasure to welcome back Chris Unity Bowness for the second installment of Consenting Adults, and just in time for Masturbation Month!

Chris-Bowness-Newsletter-logoUnity.1As masturbation month heads towards its climax I’ve decided to finish it off by talking about toys and specifically male sex toys.

There is an odd quirk I’ve noticed, and even more so during the celebration of self love in May. On one hand the talk of female masturbation and especially sex toys has been high on the agenda. However, on the other hand, this is in contrast to the lack of discussion of male self pleasure and specifically male sex toys, which usually doesn’t extend past mutual couple masturbation. In general I find it a subject not many people are comfortable with, as it conjures up many negative images. There are many reasons behind this and many assumptions made and this needs to change.

However, I’ve noticed that when it comes to the wider society this quirk takes on a more interesting turn. Though society is uncomfortable with the idea that women enjoy self pleasure and often paints women who do in a negative light,  female sex toy coverage is everywhere in the mainstream. On the flipside it is pretty much taken for granted that every man wanks, but from what I’ve seen there is very little discussion of male sex toys in the solo sense.

These are just my observations of the sex positive media I take in on a daily basis, and I’m not here to start a gender issue. I know there are reasons why discussions not only happen more between women but also why they are needed. However, I believe discussions and better communication about all areas of sex and pleasure not only help demistify sex and, along with it, the positive benifits, but also gets us talking about problems. Ultimately, communication, sharing information and experiences can help us all have better sex lives.

Wanking Wrong

It is important to point out that male sex toys are now far removed from the image of the grubby mac. We should be encouraging men and women to talk about male masturbation and we should be encouraging male sex toys.

One of the big reasons men’s sex toys should be promoted more and talked about is that many of the sexual problems men suffer can be partly the result of years of bad masturbation habits, and the fact that men don’t masturbate the way they have sex. Issues from premature ejacultion, loss of erection, not being able to climax through penetration, and others could be down to how you toss yourself off. Using toys and thinking differently during self pleasure through the use of sex toys could lead to a great improvement.

The Tool Shed

Male sex toys have come a long way since the infamous blow up doll scene in British comedy Only Fools And Horses. Toys are now as sleek, well designed and as thought through as their female counterparts, with some being produced by the same sex toy companies such as Lelo, Pipedream, Rocks Off and Doc Johnson to name a few. So to show that there is more than one way to spank a monkey* here are my tips on the range of male sex toys available and what they can do for you.

Chris Bowness cock ringCock Rings

Cock Rings may be something many have come across during sex with a partner but they are also great for solo play. Most commonly, cock rings can be placed around the base of the penis or around the penis and balls and for that reason they come in different sizes, but also vary greatly in design, functions and now even shape, For Example: the new Endless Cock Ring which aims to stay in place with it’s new twist feature.

Cock Rings can give you a larger, firmer erection and ultimately a more sensitive penis allowing you to learn to control your penis more not just during masturbation but also during penetrative sex.

Masturbators

“What’s the point? You’ve got a hand.” Is the most common response to discussions regarding male sex toys but if that Chris Bowness Versprechenwhere the case you’d hear it in regards to female sex toys too. Masturbators such as the recently award nominated Verspanken shows there is much more to male pleasure than a clammy palm. Many masturbators, like the Verspanken, allow men to play around with different textures, feelings and even temperature, all of this helping men towards a more fulfilling solo experience but also allowing us to experience the different ways we could enjoy sex with a partner.

Fake Pussies

The male equivalent of the dildo, Fake Pussies, come in all forms from tubes in which you can place your cock to some that are even designed and moulded from the pussy of your favourite porn star, to full bodyChris Bowness artificial pussy toys which include a pussys, boobs and even a place to perform anal sex. For Example: see Pipedream Extreme Series.

Men have been using their hands to wank for a lot longer than they’ve been having penetrative sex and they’ve holding themselves too tight, making themselves come as quickly as possible and also the fact they are tugging rather than thrusting can create a whole host of problems when it comes to having penetrative sex.

Fake pussies can address these problems; by helping you control the tightness, not only prolonging orgasm but also encouraging you to thrust rather than pull, which can help you control the sexual energy and pleasure that builds in the groin, hips and lower abdomen during sexual intercourse.

Prostate Massagers

Chris bowness prostate stimulaterYep! You read right toys which allow you to gain pleasure from the massaging of your prostate. Not only is there actual health benefits involved as prostate stimuation keeps your prostate healthy but you will also, through practice, be able to reach a whole new level of pleasure and orgasm.

Furthermore, it will lead you to the skill of multiple orgasms not only allowing you to control your orgasms and sexual energy but help you focus on other areas of your body, prolonging climax. Prostate play will help to make the distinction between orgasm, climax and ejacultion allowing you greater control of those seperate pleasures and giving you more control and allowing for communication of what you like when you are with a lover.

My advice here though is to start small — possibly with your finger — and learn where your prostate is, how to stimulate it and get used to the sensations before diving into buying a toy. For a quick guide to health benefits head over to this information by Lelo and where you can find Billy, one of the best selling p-spot massagers. For further reading; there are also many books available such as The Multi Orgasmic Couple and also recent release The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman.

Climax

These are just the main areas of male sex toys, but each area has a whole range of products, variations and prices within them and I hope I have given you motivation to explore. If there is any specific recommendations or further information you’d like please use the comments box below.

Ultimately, masturbation and self exploration through sex toys, whatever gender or sexual orientation, is very self nurturing, self loving and can help us get in touch with ourselves in a deep way before we let others in.  It can help us learn more about what we like, what turns us on and what makes for a better orgasm. Having a better understanding of ourselves can go a long way to better self awareness and communication, in the exchanging of turn-ons, when we have sex with a partner. We can not only help ourselves be better lovers but also allow for an all round heightened mutual experience.

Obviously, anybody who is suffering from problems in sexual performance I first encourage to seek medical advice to discover if there is any underlying health issues and then you are welcome to explore the above.

If you have a partner with a penis and would like to encourage them to explore sex toys, many men find it more comfortable to speak to someone in more comfortable surroundings and if you are in the London area there is no better place to visit than the Sh! Womenstore in Hoxton. Not only do they help couples explore penetrative sex but also solo exploration. They also have special evenings men can visit and get advice and they also hold a whole range of classes including spanking and blow jobs to name a few.

*no euphemisms were hurt during the writing of this article.