Tag Archives: sex

Molly’s Daily Kiss: A Celebration of All the Good Bits

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KD: It’s my pleasure to welcome top sex blogger, Molly Moore, to A Hopeful Romantic today. Welcome Molly! Your fabulous blog, Molly’s Daily Kiss, was awarded the sexiest blog of 2011, and after spending some time wandering around your site, I can certainly see why. How did it all begin? Why did it all begin?

MM: I have always enjoyed writing but never really felt like I had found a genre that I felt comfortable writing in until I discovered erotica. I had always read erotic novels but it wasn’t until I started to discover its existence online that I realised I didn’t have to write a novel to get read and so I started writing short stories and publishing them on a couple of different sites. They were fairly well received but the whole process of publishing them on other sites felt fairly disjointed to me. I wanted to own my work a bit more, have a say in where and how it was published and identify it, without any doubts, as being my own. On top of this I also felt that I just didn’t write enough. I was a great one for starting pieces and never finishing them and so the idea of a blog that would demand regular input from me seemed an obvious one.

When I started it, just over 2 years ago I had absolutely no idea that it would grow to what it has become today in both the number of visitors and in its content but my style of a mixture of images and words that complement each other and a strong auto-biographical content to my work seems to be a style that works for me and that appeals to a lot of people. I currently have, on average, 1100 hits on my blog per day, a pretty impressive figure I am told considering the age of my site.

KD: Why do you think your blog attracts so many visitors?

MM: As I just said I think it is the combination of my words and pictures that work together to create an honest and raw story. For a long time I thought that the main readers to my blog were men coming to perve but looking at my analytics I have learnt that that is not the case and that most of my readers are in fact woman.

KD: I was particularly fascinated by the part of your blog known as The Pussy Pride Project. Could you tell us how it came to be and why you think it’s such a popular part of your blog?

MM: The Pussy Pride Project came about after I discovered The Great Wall of Vagina by Jamie McCarthy. I spent a long time reading about what had inspired his work and found I really identified with his sadness at discovering that so many woman viewed their fannies in such a negative light and found the thought that an increasing number of woman, especially young woman, were resorting to surgery to change the external appearance of their genitalia deeply disturbing. I realised that within the sex blogging community many woman were maybe more open about these issues and thoughts than in society as a whole and so if I provided them with an outlet to share their intimate experiences about their fannies with not only their readers but my readers and everyone else’s readers who linked into the project it would build a blogging version of The Great Wall of Vagina.

When I started the project I had absolutely no idea if anyone would join in or not but before I knew it links started to appear on the page and then the thank you’s from women whom I had never met but who read my blog started to appear in my inbox; often heart wrenching tales of women’s experiences with their pussies and how reading my work or seeing my pictures and looking through the Pussy Pride Project had made them realise that they were as ‘normal’ or as beautifully individual as the next girl made me realise that the Pussy Pride Project was a massive success. It is of course an ongoing project and over the last few months I have been so busy that it has not received the attention it should but I hope that will change soon. I have a few promises of some guest posts that look to be pretty special and also some plans of my own to hopefully extent the project beyond what it is now and maybe one day even try to publish it as a book in its own right.

KD: Why do you think women have such a struggle accepting their bodies, but most especially their fannies?

MM: This is something I have pondered a great deal, why woman and not men too? I have come to the conclusion that it is not exclusive to woman by a long chalk just that woman seem to be more open about admitting it, whereas men tend to cover it up with bravado and humour. Also society as a whole seems to be much more accepting of the naked female body than the naked male body and so woman are exposed to images of the ‘perfect’ female body much more that men are. Everywhere you turn you can see her; in newspapers, magazines, billboards, TV, films that woman who we are all meant to resemble. She is a myth, beauty is not that woman, beauty is about the people we are and the connection we make with one another. Yes there is physical beauty but it is when we focus on this alone that we create whole generations of woman who are overly self-conscious about their bodies.

As for fannies, well to be honest the opposite is the case because unlike the female body as a whole which we are served a daily diet of the only fannies most woman get to see are those that they encounter when looking at porn which often portrays fannies as neat, tidy, shaved, tight, almost childlike in appearance. What woman need, hence the Pussy Pride Project on my blog, is to see lots more fannies of all different, shapes, sizes, colours, patterns, hair styles, ages etc to help them to learn that there really is no such thing as the perfect fanny apart from the one between YOUR thighs. That is perfect, perfect for you.

KD: One thing writers are always having to do is write a short biography for ourselves. What would be the most important things you would want the world to know about Molly?

MM: I really hate writing those things. How can you explain a person in a ‘short biography’ and even begin to do them justice. There are so many parts to me; female, wife, lover, mother, submissive, slut, photographer, writer, friend, owned…. the list is endless. I really am at a loss to choose just one but I guess if really pushed I think I would have to go with… Woman.

KD: How has having a blog where so many women, and men, feel safe to share some of the most intimate parts of their lives affected you?

MM: To be honest it has been humbling and eye opening and most of all I have made some amazing friends and contacts that I treasure dearly. Having complete strangers trusting you with their inner most thoughts, feeling and experiences has made me realise just how cruel humans can be to one another but also that we have an amazing power to heal, forgive and grow from the experiences in our lives.

KD: Do you have any plans for Molly’s Daily Kiss for 2012?

MM: Oh my, so very many of them. I have just launched 2 sub domains on my site; Sinful Sunday, a weekly erotic photography meme and The 365 Project, which is a place for me to explore my non erotic photography.

At the moment I am also building a 3rd sub-domain that will house a project called Anonymous. I have increasingly been asked by other friends, writers and sex bloggers to post anonymous pieces that they wish to share with the world but don’t want to post on their own blogs and so have decided to create a space dedicated just to this.

On top of all this I want to make sure that I keep on writing regularly myself, finish the 30 Days of Kink Project and maybe write my own version based on the topic of submission.

KD: What about Molly’s goals for 2012?

MM: My biggest goal for 2012 is to write a novel or a novella, depending on length, with the aim to self publish. I have had so many calls from people to do that it is starting to seem rude not too give them what they are asking for. So if anyone out there has the power to make more hours in the day, so I can fit all this in, then please do get in touch immediately.

KD: Thank you, Molly! It’s been a complete pleasure to have you on my site!

Eroticon — Why Ruby Kiddell’s Brain Child is a Must Attend Event

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KD: I’m very excited for the chance to interview the brains, and I reckon the majority of the energy behind the much anticipated Eroticon happening on March 3rd in Bristol, the amazing Ruby Kiddell. Welcome, Ruby!

As I look down through the Eroticon website, and the exciting list of guest speakers who are on the yummy menu, I can’t help but get butterflies in my stomach when I think of what putting such an exciting event together must entail, Ruby. Let me just say that you are AMAZING!

What exactly inspired Eroticon? And could you give us a brief history of that spark of inspiration until now.

RK: Thank you, that’s a kind thing to say, all I know is that I’m VERY busy at the moment.

The inspiration for Eroticon came out of the blogging conference Cybermummy which was aimed squarely at the parent, primarily mum, blogger market.

Although I have blogs and businesses that are family orientated I got sponsorship to attend Cybermummy via my Erotic Notebook blog from Sex Toys UK.

This sparked a lot of interest from the other delegates and I found out just how many of my Erotic Notebook readers also had dual Twitter identities.

Just before Cybermummy I thought “hey there should be a sex bloggers version of the conference” and on the day, when I met Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss and other sex bloggers and writers I was more convinced that we  needed an event where as writers we could discuss our craft and the content openly and without fear of judgement.

KD: I’ve already mentioned being in awe of the time and energy it must have taken to organize an event like Eroticon, what has been the most difficult part of putting together such an event?

RK: Time! I’m a lone parent to a very energetic three year old and I also run my own craft business and that’s before we get to my writing and blogging interests.  This means time is at a premium and it has been hard to find the time to develop all the aspects of the conference I would have liked.  This means there are some things I would have liked to include that aren’t happening.

KD: As you look forward to the event, what excites you most?

RK: In terms of the schedule, though I think they all look fantastic, you’ll definitely find me in the sessions with Zoe Margolis, because I remember her Girl With a One Track Mind blog when she began it, John Tisbury because as an ex-dancer I love his ballet shoe shots, Maxim Jakubowski’s writing session and London Faerie’s “It’s kink Jim…” session.

I’m also looking forward to meeting everyone I speak to on Twitter, those I’ve met before and those I’ve not and the wine and readings at the end of the day.

KD:  Eroticon is billed as the UK’s first sex bloggers and erotic authors conference. As someone who came into blogging to promote my fiction and stayed on for the fun, I’m curious as to how important you see blogging for erotic authors, and what you think is the most important thing an erotic author should know as a blogger?

RK: Finding the time to write our work should come first, but for new and aspiring authors, blogging can be incredibly useful as it is a great way to build an audience, test drive new writing, promote your work, find inspiration and share ideas.

For an erotic author, probably the most important thing to know is how to make a link to your Amazon page! I’m only half joking, I think the most important thing is finding your blogging voice, just as it takes time to find your author’s voice it can take some time to work out what you want to say on your blog and how  you want to say it.

KD: Ruby, I’ve seen your blog and heard you read some of your fantastic fiction when were in Las Vegas together for the EAA conference, could you tell us a bit about your journey to sex blogger and erotic author.

RK: I started writing sexy fantasy scenes for a man I was dating, the fiction lasted, he didn’t. So I put my writing on a blog and got on Twitter, fast forward a few months and the very talented Raziel Moore, who tweets as @_monocle_ introduced me to his editor at Republica Press who signed me up..  My first book, Anthology One, is an anthology of pieces from my blog.  That all happened very fast, but it took me another year to get my second book, Normal, finished and released.

Needless to say my current work in progress is taking a back seat at the moment.

KD: Your top advice to sex bloggers?

RK: My top advice to sex bloggers is much the same as for authors, take time to find your voice.  I had a confessional sex blog for a few months. It went from being public to password protected and eventually I took it down, simply because I wasn’t comfortable with that level of intimate exposure online. What is right for one person isn’t right for another, we all have different ways to express ourselves and finding what we are comfortable with should come before what we think will be popular.

I would also caution people to never post anything on the web that they aren’t completely willing to own up to or willing to lose control of, with sites like tumblr it is increasingly easy for images and content to take on a life of their own outside of the publisher’s control.

KD: Your top advice to erotic authors?

RK: Write first, blog second and don’t let social media eat your time!

KD: What’s been the most rewarding experience so far in the journey to making Eroticon an exciting reality?

RK: Other people’s enthusiasm for it, it is all very well me thinking it is a good idea, but until speakers started saying yes and I sold the first ticket and got the first sponsor then it was all a little intangible.

KD: What do people who are interested in being a part of this ground-breaking event need to do, and what can they expect?

RK: They need to buy a ticket and get to Bristol for 3rd March 2012

Delegates can expect a day packed full of great workshops and inspirational speakers.  A chance to meet other writers and blogger, to exchange ideas, inspiration and blog addresses.

Writers will get a chance to meet publishers, ask them questions and to sell themselves and their writing to them.

Everyone will get bags of sexy swag from our sponsors, as well as a £50 voucher to spend on sex toys at Lovehoney.

An amazing demonstration of kink by London Faerie, readings from the hottest purveyors of smut and perhaps some burlesque too

There’s food – breakfast, lunch and hopefully rude chocolate brownies. And there’s wine, because all that sexiness is bound to make you thirsty!

KD: Anything else you’d like to add.

RK:

Follow us on twitter http://www.twitter.com/eroticon2012

Find us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/Sexbloggerconference

Follow the blog http://conference.eroticnotebook.co.uk

It would appear that our Ruby just can’t get enough of a good thing. Not content with the big pile of Oh My! that is Eroticon on March 3rd, she’s spreading her wings and organising an evening or reading and chat in London.

Graciously hosted bySh! Women Erotic Emporium, Portobello this will be a fun and friendly evening of erotic readings and sexual confessions as well as a chance to meet other delegates, speakers and Ruby, herself.

It’s the pre-party! Definitely a must attend.

Where: Sh! Erotic Emporium, Portobello

When: Friday 27th January 6:30

Tickets are £3. Fizz and cupcakes will be served.

 

Lip Service at its Best

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Last week I was lucky enough to have the fabulous Renee Denyer from Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium doing a very informative Q&A about blow jobs. This week she’s going to do a Q&A about going down. Welcome back, Renee! Let’s talk about eating at the Y.

KD: What do you think is the number one thing women would like their lovers to know about going down?

Renee: It’s not unusual for women to climax only from oral sex, so get your best tongue-moves on, and get yourself down there! Enjoy the whole of the vulva, and let her know how much you are loving it!

Imagine the clit as a clock-face (or ‘clit-face’). Many women report that they are most sensitive at 10-11am or 1-2pm. This makes perfect sense; if a woman is touching herself, her hand is likely to sneak down slightly off-side. A common complaint is that men are too heavy-handed, so remember to go slowly and gently.

Scratchy stubble is not pleasant on soft labia lips, so a shave might be in order. A minty fresh breath can be sexy when gently blown over the clit, so brush your teeth or keep breath mints handy.

KD: What do you think is the most important thing the person going down needs to know about giving cunnilingus?

Renee: If you want to treat her to the full oral experience, hook two of your fingers into her G-spot once she is fully aroused. Remember to lube your fingers up so they are nice and slidey, even if you think she is ‘wet enough’. Lube is the single most effective sex toy, so you should always have a bottle by the bed. Stroking the G-spot with firm ‘come-hither’ motions can drive her absolutely wild! If she is game, stroking in or around her anus offers yet extra sensations. Or, even better, if you are both game, licking and kissing your way down to and around her anus can have your lady (s)creaming for more!

KD: What do you think is the number one thing women NEED to know about cunnilingus?

Renee: Many women feel insecure about how they smell, taste and look. Let’s get this out there: a pussy is beautiful whatever it’s size, shape or colour; a pussy smells and tastes wonderful – like you want to bury your face in it! A ‘just-washed’ pussy can be a little bit too squeaky clean (who wants a mouthful of soap??), so I’d say have a shower, then wear your knickers for an hour. That way your lucky lover will get the delicious scent of ‘you’, and trust me, this adds to their experience!

KD: Last week you gave us a brief anatomical tour of the penis. Could you give us a brief tour of the vulva today?

Renee: Oh sure – you need to understand the anatomy in order to give great head!

The Mons is the soft, padded spot on top of the pubic bone. It’s nice for arousal, and a hand cupping it can be very sexy indeed. The Labia Majora, or outer lips, protects the inner layers of the vulva, and are not to be ignored. Stroking, kissing and licking all go down rather well. The Labia Minora, or inner lips, are sensitive and adore attention. Kissing and licking your way in a V-shape between them and the outer lips is a good move.

The clit has 8000 nerve endings! So it by lavishing long, gentle ice cream licks or fast, focused flicks on it, your will be driving your woman wild. Wait until she is turned on though – attention on to a less-than-horny clit is just annoying and painful.

KD: What are the biggest fears, both women and men have that keep them from enjoying cunnilingus?

Renee: I know men who hate doing it (I‘ve yet to meet a lesbian who admits to disliking pussy!), and I know women who hate having it done to them, and I think they are missing out.

Men can be squeamish about the taste, but I’d say to put a dental dam over her vulva (with a dab of lube on her side, to enhance her experience) and lick through that. A dam is also a safer sex option, so good if you have several partners or one night stands.

Women worry about ‘taking too long’, but a true cunnilinguist knows that there is no such thing as ‘too long’! It’s an experience to be savoured by both parties.

KD:  Any advice or tips?

Renee: My advice would be to find a position that works for you both. She needs to be able to relax (and tense her thighs if need be, many women bring on their orgasm this way), but the giver also needs to be comfortable. On average, a woman needs 20 minutes of continuous stimulation, so make sure you are in a comfortable position as breaking off because you have a crooked neck or jaw ache is a no-no. You could put a pillow under her hips to raise her up a little, or you could have her sitting on your face.

Some women prefer to have their legs bent, others need to stretch out – go with her preference, as it may be difficult for her to climax otherwise.

Another good tip is to use a dildo or a vibrator for her to clench her pc muscles around while you work your magic on pussy – women’s orgasms are often stronger if they have something to grab on to.

Lastly, despite porn often showing the complete opposite, women tend to go quieter just before their orgasm takes hold – she is concentrating, so whatever you do, don’t stop!

For those of you wanting to brush up on your tongue action, I recommend this book:
http://www.sh-womenstore.com/Erotica/Sex+Guides/oral_sex_shell_never_forget.html

At Sh! Good Suckers are Made not Born

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KD: Today I won’t be steaming up your monitors with erotica tidbits, but with hot, practical tips instead.  Today I’m talking with one of my very favourite people on the planet, the fabulous, sassy Renee Denyer, who is the manager of what everyone already knows is my very favourite sexy store on the planet, Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium. Recently Renee gave me a fabulous write-up of the materials she uses when she teaches Sh!’s most popular class —  you guessed it — the ‘Blow His Mind’ class on blow jobs. All I can say is, wow! I had no idea! With that in mind, I decided to ask Renee a few questions about fellatio to share with my lovely readers.

KD: Renee, so you think men are as insecure about asking for blow jobs as women are about giving them?

Renee: Men may feel awkward asking for it, but they certainly have no problems hinting at it! I think all women have felt a firm hand on their head, pushing us further down, at some point..!

KD: What are your most commonly asked questions when you teach the BJ course at Sh!?

Renee: The most commonly asked question is the one that is hardest to answer: “how long should a blow job go on for?” There is simply no right answer to this. It depends on your mood, on his mood, whether it’s done as foreplay or main course, how long you can comfortable suck him without getting jaw ache… How ever long you fancy, be that five minutes or an hour (though the ladiez are usually horrified at the thought of sucking for a whole hour!). I’d recommend alternating the sucking with some wet kissing and licking of his member in order to give you a break during the blow job.

KD: What inspired the blow jobs course?

Renee: Gosh, I can’t even remember! It probably involved plenty of wine during an after-hours conversation with a colleague… We meet many women who feel insecure when it comes to technique, so that’s probably how it started.

KD: When I read the write-up you sent me of the material you used for the course, I have to admit I found the actually anatomy bit totally fascinating. A lot of it, I didn’t know. Do you think understanding our sexual anatomy contributes to good sex, or is it sometimes a case of less is more?

Renee: A good understanding of basic anatomy is important. During the class, we start off by talking anatomy; women generally know what a dick looks like on the outside, but they have no idea what goes on the inside. There are no bones or muscles inside a cock, just cylinders filled with erectile tissue. The cylinders fill with blood when a man gets turned on, hence why men don’t think so well when they are hot n’ bothered – there is simply not enough blood to go around!

KD: Tell us about classes coming up at Sh! And will the BJ class be offered again soon?

Renee: We have some great classes planned in for next year, like rope classes, spanking classes and how to up your orgasm-quota! As the Blow His Mind class is the most popular, we’ll do it monthly. It’s a great evening for getting the girls together for some giggles and learning a few new tricks! http://www.sh-womenstore.com/Erotic+Classes.htm

KD: In future, I hope to entice Renee back to A Hopeful Romantic with more sneak peeks at the fabulous courses and events offered at Sh! In the meantime, Renee has included four tips from the course as the cherry on top, so to speak, of this post. Thanks a lot, Renee, for the crash course. You and all the lovely Ladiez at Sh! are the best!

Tips

1.    Take a sip of a cold drink and go down on him. Then take a sip of a warm drink, and suck. Then, another sip of the cold drink… You’re changing his sensate-focus ~ very sexy!

2.    If your breasts are medium – generously-sized, drizzle some warming  lube over them, squeeze them together and let him thrust in between. For extra brownie-points, lick the head on each up-stroke…

3.    Simple Simon Says: Suck Harder. Insert a finger into his mouth for him to lick and suck at the same time you’re sucking his cock. Suck at the same intensity and speed as he’s sucking your finger – you’re playing ‘Simple Simon Says’ on his cock!

4.    My personal favourite: The Number-10 Technique. Start off by giving him 9 short sucks on the head, then 1 deep one down over the shaft (as deep as you can go without gagging). Give him 8 short sucks on the head and 2 deep sucks over the shaft; 7 short sucks and 3 deep… You get where I going with this? Keep a quiet count in your head, and by the time you get to 1 short suck and 9 deep ones, he’ll be ready to blow his load!

Good suckers are made, not born!

 

 

 

Happy Birthday, Fannying Around!

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Happy Birthday Fannying Around! Yes, Thursday night was the big one year birthday bash in London at Sh! Erotic Women’s Emporium, Hoxton. Fannying Around is the brainchild of the vivacious and multi-talented Sarah Berry. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that Fannying Around is her heartchild. Certainly no one could ever doubt that for Sarah, Fannying Around was a labour of love. This quote from Sarah on the official Fannies Rule website explains how Fannying Around came to be the talk of the town in London.

I first came up with the idea for the group when I was a teenager. I couldn’t have sex, I didn’t know why but I dreamed of a place I could talk freely about my problem. Every time I tried to insert anything into my fanny be it a finger, tampon, cock or courgette, I started to panic. I couldn’t tell anyone and suffering in silence led to clinical depression.When I was 21, my then boyfriend marched me to the Family Planning Clinic. Not long after I got diagnosed with vaginismus. This is a condition where the brain tells the pelvic muscles to contract when anything is inserted. 

Over the next decade, with a lot of therapy, vodka, prescription drugs, all sorts of encounters – both shameful and respectful – my fanny began to open and I was finally able to discuss it with others.Turns out ladies have a lot to say about their fannies and as soon as people started sharing all that was normal to them, I realised how individual they all are. They are mysterious, stubborn, on fire, loose, exciting, hairy, sexy, stubbly, oozing, bloody, wet, dry, lippy, asymmetrical, fabulous and more. 

Thursday night, Sarah, dressed in sparkles and a top hat, and surrounded by myriad fanniers led the celebration of a whole year of women filling the Sh! basement to nearly bursting to talk about their fannies, make new friends, and celebrate being women.

I felt especially happy to be a part of the celebration, as I was one of the original fanniers who nearly overflowed the basement at Sh!, Portobello on a cold December night a year ago. I remember that night we all introduced ourselves by saying, ‘My name is … And my fanny is…’ The introduction was optional, and no one had to say anything if they weren’t comfortable. ‘My name is… And my fanny is…’ has become the traditional opening ice breaker for every Fannying Around meeting since, an icebreaker that has sparked a good many fascinating conversations. That first night discussion was lively, raunchy, frank, sometimes funny, often poignant, and in the year since, that has continued to be the case at the Fannying Around meetings.

That first night, the lovely manager of Sh!, Renee Denyer, brought out Rosy, the fanny puppet for a little fannatomy lesson. Since that first meeting, there have been tantric teachers, there have been midwives, there have been porn stars, there have been poets and therapists and performers and writers and fabulous women, so many fabulous women, women who I’m now happy to call my friends. And there is now a website, there have been field trips and a casting party and Private Pictures and Muffember and interviews and … Well the list goes on!

Thursday night was a celebration of all things fanny, complete with a special fannytail created by the London Cocktail Society especially for the event, mixed and served up with a smile by the lovely Katie. There were yummy, beautiful c*nt cakes made by the scrumptious Rubyyy Jones. After all, it was a birthday party. And what’s a birthday party without cake? And for this special occasion, and for the first time ever, men were invited to Fanny Club to help celebrate everything fanny. I did notice they all seemed to be having a great time.

The evening was celebrated in poetry performed by the fabulous Annie Player, the sultry Cathy Flower, and Fannying Around’s very own poet in residence, Mel Jones. I felt extremely honoured to have been asked to read from my very fanny-centric story, Muscle Bound. I think most people would agree that outrageously funny comedienne, Janice Phayre, stole the show when she donned her knitted fanny costume and enticed the audience into a chorus of the old Carpenter’s song, Close to You.

As always the lovely Sh! Ladiez host the very best parties. For the past year Sh! has provided a warm, welcoming place for Fannying Around to meet, and I know I speak for everyone when I say how much fun it is just to be there. There was plenty of time to shop and browse and chat and reminisce with other fanniers about all that this year has brought and what we hope will happen before we all gather together next December to celebrate year two. All the while the beautiful Sarah Berry, in her top hat, sparkled. …And so did her dress.