Tag Archives: oral sex

Lip Service at its Best

Last week I was lucky enough to have the fabulous Renee Denyer from Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium doing a very informative Q&A about blow jobs. This week she’s going to do a Q&A about going down. Welcome back, Renee! Let’s talk about eating at the Y.

KD: What do you think is the number one thing women would like their lovers to know about going down?

Renee: It’s not unusual for women to climax only from oral sex, so get your best tongue-moves on, and get yourself down there! Enjoy the whole of the vulva, and let her know how much you are loving it!

Imagine the clit as a clock-face (or ‘clit-face’). Many women report that they are most sensitive at 10-11am or 1-2pm. This makes perfect sense; if a woman is touching herself, her hand is likely to sneak down slightly off-side. A common complaint is that men are too heavy-handed, so remember to go slowly and gently.

Scratchy stubble is not pleasant on soft labia lips, so a shave might be in order. A minty fresh breath can be sexy when gently blown over the clit, so brush your teeth or keep breath mints handy.

KD: What do you think is the most important thing the person going down needs to know about giving cunnilingus?

Renee: If you want to treat her to the full oral experience, hook two of your fingers into her G-spot once she is fully aroused. Remember to lube your fingers up so they are nice and slidey, even if you think she is ‘wet enough’. Lube is the single most effective sex toy, so you should always have a bottle by the bed. Stroking the G-spot with firm ‘come-hither’ motions can drive her absolutely wild! If she is game, stroking in or around her anus offers yet extra sensations. Or, even better, if you are both game, licking and kissing your way down to and around her anus can have your lady (s)creaming for more!

KD: What do you think is the number one thing women NEED to know about cunnilingus?

Renee: Many women feel insecure about how they smell, taste and look. Let’s get this out there: a pussy is beautiful whatever it’s size, shape or colour; a pussy smells and tastes wonderful – like you want to bury your face in it! A ‘just-washed’ pussy can be a little bit too squeaky clean (who wants a mouthful of soap??), so I’d say have a shower, then wear your knickers for an hour. That way your lucky lover will get the delicious scent of ‘you’, and trust me, this adds to their experience!

KD: Last week you gave us a brief anatomical tour of the penis. Could you give us a brief tour of the vulva today?

Renee: Oh sure – you need to understand the anatomy in order to give great head!

The Mons is the soft, padded spot on top of the pubic bone. It’s nice for arousal, and a hand cupping it can be very sexy indeed. The Labia Majora, or outer lips, protects the inner layers of the vulva, and are not to be ignored. Stroking, kissing and licking all go down rather well. The Labia Minora, or inner lips, are sensitive and adore attention. Kissing and licking your way in a V-shape between them and the outer lips is a good move.

The clit has 8000 nerve endings! So it by lavishing long, gentle ice cream licks or fast, focused flicks on it, your will be driving your woman wild. Wait until she is turned on though – attention on to a less-than-horny clit is just annoying and painful.

KD: What are the biggest fears, both women and men have that keep them from enjoying cunnilingus?

Renee: I know men who hate doing it (I‘ve yet to meet a lesbian who admits to disliking pussy!), and I know women who hate having it done to them, and I think they are missing out.

Men can be squeamish about the taste, but I’d say to put a dental dam over her vulva (with a dab of lube on her side, to enhance her experience) and lick through that. A dam is also a safer sex option, so good if you have several partners or one night stands.

Women worry about ‘taking too long’, but a true cunnilinguist knows that there is no such thing as ‘too long’! It’s an experience to be savoured by both parties.

KD:  Any advice or tips?

Renee: My advice would be to find a position that works for you both. She needs to be able to relax (and tense her thighs if need be, many women bring on their orgasm this way), but the giver also needs to be comfortable. On average, a woman needs 20 minutes of continuous stimulation, so make sure you are in a comfortable position as breaking off because you have a crooked neck or jaw ache is a no-no. You could put a pillow under her hips to raise her up a little, or you could have her sitting on your face.

Some women prefer to have their legs bent, others need to stretch out – go with her preference, as it may be difficult for her to climax otherwise.

Another good tip is to use a dildo or a vibrator for her to clench her pc muscles around while you work your magic on pussy – women’s orgasms are often stronger if they have something to grab on to.

Lastly, despite porn often showing the complete opposite, women tend to go quieter just before their orgasm takes hold – she is concentrating, so whatever you do, don’t stop!

For those of you wanting to brush up on your tongue action, I recommend this book:

At Sh! Good Suckers are Made not Born

KD: Today I won’t be steaming up your monitors with erotica tidbits, but with hot, practical tips instead.  Today I’m talking with one of my very favourite people on the planet, the fabulous, sassy Renee Denyer, who is the manager of what everyone already knows is my very favourite sexy store on the planet, Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium. Recently Renee gave me a fabulous write-up of the materials she uses when she teaches Sh!’s most popular class —  you guessed it — the ‘Blow His Mind’ class on blow jobs. All I can say is, wow! I had no idea! With that in mind, I decided to ask Renee a few questions about fellatio to share with my lovely readers.

KD: Renee, so you think men are as insecure about asking for blow jobs as women are about giving them?

Renee: Men may feel awkward asking for it, but they certainly have no problems hinting at it! I think all women have felt a firm hand on their head, pushing us further down, at some point..!

KD: What are your most commonly asked questions when you teach the BJ course at Sh!?

Renee: The most commonly asked question is the one that is hardest to answer: “how long should a blow job go on for?” There is simply no right answer to this. It depends on your mood, on his mood, whether it’s done as foreplay or main course, how long you can comfortable suck him without getting jaw ache… How ever long you fancy, be that five minutes or an hour (though the ladiez are usually horrified at the thought of sucking for a whole hour!). I’d recommend alternating the sucking with some wet kissing and licking of his member in order to give you a break during the blow job.

KD: What inspired the blow jobs course?

Renee: Gosh, I can’t even remember! It probably involved plenty of wine during an after-hours conversation with a colleague… We meet many women who feel insecure when it comes to technique, so that’s probably how it started.

KD: When I read the write-up you sent me of the material you used for the course, I have to admit I found the actually anatomy bit totally fascinating. A lot of it, I didn’t know. Do you think understanding our sexual anatomy contributes to good sex, or is it sometimes a case of less is more?

Renee: A good understanding of basic anatomy is important. During the class, we start off by talking anatomy; women generally know what a dick looks like on the outside, but they have no idea what goes on the inside. There are no bones or muscles inside a cock, just cylinders filled with erectile tissue. The cylinders fill with blood when a man gets turned on, hence why men don’t think so well when they are hot n’ bothered – there is simply not enough blood to go around!

KD: Tell us about classes coming up at Sh! And will the BJ class be offered again soon?

Renee: We have some great classes planned in for next year, like rope classes, spanking classes and how to up your orgasm-quota! As the Blow His Mind class is the most popular, we’ll do it monthly. It’s a great evening for getting the girls together for some giggles and learning a few new tricks! http://www.sh-womenstore.com/Erotic+Classes.htm

KD: In future, I hope to entice Renee back to A Hopeful Romantic with more sneak peeks at the fabulous courses and events offered at Sh! In the meantime, Renee has included four tips from the course as the cherry on top, so to speak, of this post. Thanks a lot, Renee, for the crash course. You and all the lovely Ladiez at Sh! are the best!


1.    Take a sip of a cold drink and go down on him. Then take a sip of a warm drink, and suck. Then, another sip of the cold drink… You’re changing his sensate-focus ~ very sexy!

2.    If your breasts are medium – generously-sized, drizzle some warming  lube over them, squeeze them together and let him thrust in between. For extra brownie-points, lick the head on each up-stroke…

3.    Simple Simon Says: Suck Harder. Insert a finger into his mouth for him to lick and suck at the same time you’re sucking his cock. Suck at the same intensity and speed as he’s sucking your finger – you’re playing ‘Simple Simon Says’ on his cock!

4.    My personal favourite: The Number-10 Technique. Start off by giving him 9 short sucks on the head, then 1 deep one down over the shaft (as deep as you can go without gagging). Give him 8 short sucks on the head and 2 deep sucks over the shaft; 7 short sucks and 3 deep… You get where I going with this? Keep a quiet count in your head, and by the time you get to 1 short suck and 9 deep ones, he’ll be ready to blow his load!

Good suckers are made, not born!