Tag Archives: erotic fiction

A Sizzling Winter

So much has happened in the past week, my head is spinning, and I can’t even think about the exciting year ahead without wanting to do a happy dance. 2012 was more amazing that I could have imagined, and 2013 is shaping up to be even more so. As always, I’m excited to share it all with you. Here’s what’s new.

Xcite Awards Finalist badge 2013Blog Stuff

If you haven’t noticed the lovely badge at the top right hand side of my site, please do! I’m so pleased to announce that I’ve been nominated for the second year running for the much-coveted Xcite Books Awards for best blog! That in itself is a huge honour, but when I see all of the lovely blogs and fabulous bloggers I’m up against, I feel even more honoured to be in such stellar company! If you haven’t yet voted, please do so! Whoever you vote for is very well-deserving beyond a doubt, but I truly hope you’ll vote for me. Click on the link above or on the badge at the right hand side of this post.

You might also notice, if you scroll down the home page a little further that my blog has gone up to number 3 in the Ebuzzing ratings for literature blogs, and number 18 for cultural blogs! I’m chuffed to bits about that because it means lots of you are stopping by to check out my site and say hi, and I DO love the company! Thanks SO much!

And since A Hopeful Romantic blog is getting so much exciting attention, don’t you just love the makeover the very talented and ever fabulous Kev Mitnik has given my site? And be sure to check out my sister site, Grace Marshall, Romance Served Hot to see what magic he’s worked over there. Thanks Kev! You rock!

New Releases

The beginning of 2013 is chock-a-block with new releases for me. Here’s a list of what you can expect.

instrumentscoverJust out:

Instruments of Pleasure: Sex Toy Erotica. This lovely anthology is a collection from Cleis Press edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, and it has a reprint of my very naughty story, Strapped.

Blurb:Kitty only wants to see how the other half lives – the male half, that is, but how far is she willing to go to find out?

 

Seven-Deadly-Sins-Cover-450(1)Seven Deadly Sins. This salacious anthology has a very interesting story behind its beginnings, in which I’m proud to have played a part. Learn more about that here. It contains my lustful story, Aphrodite Gets a Piece of the Action, which is also available as a stand-alone story. This is a Sweetmeats Press illustrated anthology. Though it’s available in eBook and print everywhere, if you want illustrations in eBook format, you must order it from Waterstones.

Blurb: There’s no place to go but down when, against all odds, sexually inexperienced, nerd’s nerd, Jack Calendar gets shanghaied into being Aphrodite’s PA. And she has him going down a lot! Who could have guessed that the moonlighting Goddess of Love had head for business? The hours are long, the work is difficult and the Goddess is demanding and insatiable. Then there’s her family, who make the Corleones look like the Brady Bunch.

 

Only You B&N image9781573449090_p0_v2_s260x420Coming Soon

15th January: Only You: Romance for Women. Another wonderful anthology from Cleis Press edited by the delicious Rachel Kramer Bussel. It includes my story, Unfolding, a celebration of the uniqueness of every woman’s body.

Blurb: Lena’s labia was the closest thing to a religious experience Simon had ever had. And Lena had never been so well worshiped.

 

Kinky_Boots23rd January: Kinky Boots. My second petite novel with Harper Collins Mischief. Kinky Boots is a paranormal-ish romp set in the vibrant Shoreditch area of London, and yes, sexy footwear is very much involved.

Blurb: After a sizzling encounter in Demon Heels, a quirky all-night shoe store, with the store’s hot owner, Finn Masters, Jill Hart walks away in the most gorgeous boots ever. Her new boots come with an unexpected bonus, a sexy demon named Eleanor, who’s looking for a good time. All she lacks is a body, and Jill’s will do nicely.

 

IDENTITYFebruary: Identity Crisis. Fast on the heels of An Executive Decision, this is novel 2 of the Grace Marshall Executive Decisions Trilogy. Expect lots of new twists and turns and hot romance.

Blurb: PR rep extraordinaire, Kendra Davis, is elated when she gets the chance to work for her hero, reclusive, romance novelist, Tess Delaney. Her elation is short-lived when she discovers that Tess is none other than Garrett Thorne, the bad-boy brother of business tycoon and eco-warrior, Ellison Thorne, who is engaged to her best friend, Dee Henning. Kendra blames Garrett for the comedy of errors that nearly destroyed their relationship. Garrett doesn’t like Kendra either, but he’s desperate. His alter-ego, Tess has been nominated for the prestigious Golden Kiss Award. No one knows who Tess really is, and he needs Kendra to play Tess for the awards.

When Tess is stalked by a rabid fan, the two unite to protect her identity. With Kendra, the body and Garrett the soul of Tess Delaney, is there room in this strange ménage for romance? Can a woman who doesn’t exist understand their hearts even better than they do?

Elemental Fire cover image finalSpring 2013: Elemental Fire, the final instalment of the Lakeland Heatwave Trilogy set in the stunning English Lake District. Don’t miss the chilling, thrilling, sizzling grand finale.

Blurb: Obsessed with revenge, Kennet Lucian makes a deal with a demon, a deal he comes to regret when he meets Tara Stone, head of the Elemental Coven, and a powerful witch with a desire for revenge at least as great as his. Even though the attraction between the two is magnetic and the lust combustive, Kennet must betray her to accomplish his goal, which is ultimately her goal as well; to put a final end to the demon, Deacon’s, reign of terror. But can Tara trust the man who has wormed his way into her heart and the heart of the Elemental Coven? Can she trust Lucia, the demon with whom Kennet is allied, a demon with her own agenda. The path to Deacon’s destruction is far from clear, and the price that must be paid to be free of him forever may be too high, even for Tara Stone.

Events and Adventures

Eroticon speaker badge pink2-3 March in London: Eroticon 2013. Eroticon isthe highlight of late winter, and the event we’ve all been waiting for since last March. I’m very honoured to be speaking at Eroticon this year. I’ll be leading a talk called Finessing Sex in Fiction. If you’re not already signed up for the weekend of exciting speakers, events, readings, and the chance to meet up with a whole gang of fabulous people celebrating sex in blogs, art, technology and fiction, it’s not too late to get your tickets and join the fun.

There’ll be more fun changes on my blog, so stay tuned. There’ll be more writers, more stories, more fun interviews and posts, more sneak peeks and lots more adventures.

With the rest of winter promising so much sizzle, I think we can count on a real heatwave with spring, and the summer will be positively steamy! Buckle up! It’s gonna be a wild and sexy ride!

 

 

Who’s Really to Blame for Seven Deadly Sins

version1

Okay, so here it is; the real story behind the story. Here’s the truth about what happened  when dirty minds ran amuck late at night after Eroticon 2012 in the Ibis Hotel in Bristol. I swear it’s the truth because I was right there running amuck with the best.

I can’t say we’d had too much to drink. We hadn’t. I can’t say there were any drugs involved, unless you want to count the cold tablets I was popping for the springtime sniffles I had. What I can say is that we were high on smut writing. We’d just spent the day at the first annual Eroticon in Bristol. That was last March. We’d had dinner with some of our naughty compadres, and then Lily Harlem, Victoria Blisse, Lucy Felthouse and I went back to our hotel, which had a lovely all-night bar. Since we live in opposite directions in the UK, we seldom get the chance to catch up and talk writing, so we were up for the long haul.

Seven-Deadly-Sins-Cover-450(1)Lily Harlem started it. Yes, she’s the one to blame! After some raucous conversation about what we found sexy and what we liked to write about, she pulled out a pen and a scrap of paper and we began brainstorming ideas for smutty anthologies. We considered sex at work for an anthology; we considered sex alfresco for an anthology, we might have even considered food sex. Oh, the possibilities! And then Lily did it! Lily brought up the idea of an anthology about the seven deadly sins, the perfect way to cover all the naughty bases in one filthy swoop.

My hand was the first in the air to write a story about lust. Bet that surprises you, doesn’t itJ Victoria wasn’t far behind me, volunteering for gluttony. Lily was all up for envy and Lucy put in for pride. And so the night went. I’m not sure how serious we all were at the time. It was long after midnight, and to say we were punchy is an understatement. When a party of rather inebriated lads flooded into the bar singing Iris folk songs loudly and badly, we adjourned to Victoria and Lucy’s room and continued planning and scheming.

The next day we all hopped our trains and went back home. My sneaking suspicions is that it was Lucy Felthouse who is to blame for what happened next, though I’m sure that Lily was partly responsible for filling in the three remaining sins with naughty writers, Sarah Masters took up the cause to wax filthy about wrath, Lexie Bay weighed in with sloth and Rebecca Bond took on greed.

And, after that the blame all goes to KoJo Black over at Sweetmeats Press who bravely agreed to take on the brainchild four under-slept smutters had mapped out on a scrap of paper in a hotel bar. Thanks KoJo! Nine months later, Voila! A very naughty, anthology is now available for your reading and viewing pleasure, with illustrations by John LaChatte in the paperback version and in the Waterstones eBook version. Thought the eBook is available in all the usual places, do remember, if you want the naughty illustrations in your eBook version, you have to get it from Waterstones.

I confess, this anthology is truly sinful X seven, and I do hope that this little peek into the naughty origins of The Seven Deadly Sins will lead you into temptation to get your copy, and then let the filthy authors and that dirty boy of an illustrater, John LaChatte do the rest. I forgot to mention you can also buy each of the seven stories separately in eBook format if you have a favourite vice.

Seven erotic tales from seven sinful sirens. The Seven Deadly Sins have never been so sexy!

Aphrodite Gets a Piece of the Action by K. D. Grace
A young voyeur finds himself faced with the almighty task of going global with Lust!

Caged by Rebecca Bond
Greed pushes a policewoman straight to the top. But her quest for power uncovers more desire than she ever knew she had!

Glutton to Gourmet by Victoria Blisse
Anabel has never known when to say ‘when’. But the dashing Roman shows her that quality is just as delicious as quantity.

Green Eyed Monster by Lily Harlem
Penis Envy takes on a whole new meaning when Helen hatches a plan to use her own “cock” to its fullest extent!

An Indolent Seduction by Lexie Bay
When the demon of Sloth sets his sights on the angel Industria, apathy becomes dangerously alluring.

The Sweetest Revenge by Lucy Felthouse

Abigail’s crush on Mackenzie has made her do something stupid. Will Pride come before a fall…or cause them to fall in love?

Something Else by Sarah Masters
A man’s Wrath at the loss of his lover sets him on a vengeful path that leads him through a seedy and sexually charged underworld.

sevendeadlysins_large_promo

Blurb for Aphrodite Gets a Piece of the Action:

There’s no place to go but down when, against all odds, sexually inexperienced, nerd’s nerd, JACK CALENDAR gets shanghaied into being APHRODITE’s PA. And she has him going down a lot! Who could have guessed that the moonlighting Goddess of Love had head for business? The hours are long, the work is difficult and the Goddess is demanding and insatiable. Then there’s her family, who make the Corleones look like the Brady Bunch.

A PA’s work is never done, and Jack wasn’t hired for his impressive organizational skills. Nerdy Jack is at Aphrodite’s beck-and-call, because he’s the only mortal she has ever known with a lust powerful enough to match her own. Jack’s never had so much sex. He didn’t even know one could have so much sex – with someone other than themselves, that is. Just when he’s starting to get the hang of serving the goddess, Jack meets the husband, whose jealous temper is volcanic to say the least. Can Jack survive a run-in with the original dysfunctional family, or will he end up just one more manipulated mortal fucked by the gods?

Excerpt from Aprodite Gets a Piece of the Action

‘Hey you! Ass-wipe! Don’t make me come up after you.’

Coming up wasn’t necessary. Startled, Jack lost his balance on the limb and fell out of the tree backward, his fall being slowed by the hard thwack, thwack, thwack of a half a dozen smaller, more supple branches before he hit the manicured lawn flat on his back leaving him winded and stunned.

‘Izzee dead?’ A voice hissed from somewhere above Jack’s prone, breathless body.

‘Course ‘es not dead. His cock’s still hard. Sonovabitch! Hat’s off to ‘im, I say.’

‘Don’t matter. When her dad gets through with him, he’ll wish he was dead.’

‘Shut up, you two. No one asked your opinion,’ a third voice said. Then the owner of that voice grabbed Jack by the arm and hauled him to his feet nearly dislocating his shoulder in the process. He found himself nose to nose to a man with perfectly coifed hair that looked like it came straight from an eighties cop show. And the rest of him looked like a poster boy for a hard core muscle mag, right down to the bad-ass eagle tat rippling up his bulging right bicep. If that wasn’t crazy enough, the man was wearing a toga, for chrissake! His pecs bulged and his nipples looked like they’d been clamped within an inch of their lives. And who the hell noticed a man’s nipples, Jack wondered, especially when Blondie’s old man was about to make him wish he were dead.

‘Tuck it in, Bub,’ Toga Man nodded to Jack’s cock which, embarrassingly enough, still offered a full frontal salute. He shoved and shifted it back into his track suit, but even then it led the way as he fell into step behind Toga Man with two black-suit security types flanking him. What the hell was the matter with him? He could die or worse and he still had enough wood to start a bonfire.

‘Big Z ain’t gonna be happy you watching his daughter do the dirty,’ the suit to his left spoke out of one side of his mouth.

‘You shut your pie-hole,’ Toga Man said. ‘You dunno what makes Big Z happy. Besides, she ain’t his daughter.’

Big Z? What the hell was this, Jack wondered, some kind of Mafioso toga party? They made their way through the enormous marble foyer of the house Jack hadn’t noticed being anywhere nearly so huge from his perch in the oak tree. But then it wasn’t the house he’d been looking at, was it? At last, Toga Man dismissed the Mafia-thugs and fast marched Jack, both hands protectively folded across the bounce, bounce, bounce of his erection, to another set of double doors at the end of a long hallway. He threw them open and with a hand on Jack’s shoulder, half shoved him into an opulent study. There, Jack found himself face to face with the bare ass of a bloke doing the nasty up the bumhole of another, a situation that didn’t prevent Toga Man from announcing loudly. ‘We found this scumbag up the oak tree watching Aphrodite.’

Buy Seven Deadly Sins Now

Print:
Amazon UK
Amazon US

eBook:
Amazon UK
Amazon US
Waterstones

Getting Medieval with Toni Sands and Her Sexy Knight Shades Trilogy

It’s my pleasure to have the delectable Toni Sands as my guest to talk about her hot new historic Knight Shade trilogy. Welcome Toni! Knights, chain mail, sexy damsels! Do tell!

Toni Sands Knight Shades trilogy9781909335783_FCThank you, K D, for inviting me along today to chat about my latest project. Forgive me if I loosen my lacings and settle my skirts around me. This huge scarlet cushion you’ve thrown me is the perfect match for my gown. And the delicious gooseberry wine you’ve poured must surely be down to your hard work in the vegetable garden?

I hope you’re sitting as comfortably as I am so I can begin …

Wow! Fit guys in chain mail pursuing gorgeous girls with cleavages deep enough to make Friar Tuck choke on his game pie? It sounded fun to me. So I took up the gauntlet thrown down by my lovely Xcite editor and allowed the knight of my dreams to sweep me up on his trusty steed and whisk me away to his raspberry stone castle.

Well, not quite … and I do apologise for involving you in my fantasy. But it’s not difficult to dream of bygone times, when we carry so many images from our childhood. There are countless stories of princesses seeking their Prince Charming, usually a gallant warrior or swordsman with great legs. Think of the many books and movies based on those chivalrous boys who thunder down the jousting ranges, lance in hand. Robin Hood always seems to be around in some form or other, so purely in the interests of research, I checked out Men in Tights but only after my personal favourite among the Jupiter Knights (Tebal the camp one) arrived in my story. I have no idea how he turned up but I love hanging out with him. A Knight’s Tale is another fun flick celebrating ‘silly boys with a horse and a stick’ while the Arthurian legend forms the basis for innumerable stories, movies and TV dramas, not least the BBC’s Merlin series.

My Knight Shades Trilogy (hope you approve of the name) is a mix of medieval, zany and romance. And erotic encounters. Oh and there are Toni Sands Knight Shades9781909335790_FCmagic forces at work within it too. Our hero, Sir Gavin, hits the ground running in Book One as he and his stallion, Sarum, gallop towards a crystal cleft, the portal to another world. Magic allows a writer quite a lot of licence when suspending the reader’s disbelief but hero Sir Gavin’s own strength of character and the power and determination brought about by bonding and of course love ensures the enchantress doesn’t quite get it all her own way.

Yes, I did mention strength of character though you may huff with disbelief when you read Woman of Power and see our hero’s lusty reactions to the beautiful women he meets. Please give him a break! In Woman of Power, he’s newly returned from the Crusades and kind of like a monk who decides chastity’s not really his thing. Lust really does turn to love for Gavin where one particular lady’s concerned but the object of his desires is out of bounds. Plus, Gav’s personal journey towards emotional maturity is hampered by the tricks performed on him by that evil witch playing a complicated game of souls.

The next book, Wicked Woman, takes my knight to a frozen landscape, in part inspired by a visit to the Nordic European country of Iceland. If you like quirky and aren’t put off by freezing temperatures, you’ll be blown away by Iceland. It’s the perfect place for a writer of erotica – so much going on under the surface with thermal energy bubbling away and geysers discharging clouds of steam. The city is ablaze with lights and the bars and restaurants are often lit subtly. Very flattering if one is past the youthful, dewy stage!

Gavin and his fellow-knight accept hospitality from a woman holding a girls’ weekend while the men folk are away on a hunting trip. As Gavin might say, ‘What’s a knight to do?’ Enchantress Sibilla makes more than one appearance, ramping up our hero’s determination to escape her clutches.

Gavin’s liaisons, amorous or otherwise, have repercussions. Women tend to use him for their own means. But he’s no wimp and the third book is intended to hone his character in readiness for the challenge awaiting him as the story draws to a conclusion.

Unforgettable Woman, the final book of my trilogy and almost complete, is destined to be the most poignant book of the three. Gavin’s physical and emotional strength will be tested again as new characters join existing ones. It’s due for publication in January and I hope you’ll stay with my hot knight as he rides on …

Toni Sands Knight Shades SandraMay12 021Before I leave your roaring log fire, I’d like to follow the popular trend and talk a little about writing sex scenes, something which tests writers in many ways. Decisions … decisions. If my hero let his eyes do the touching, should my heroine take the initiative or not? Does she want to open the box of chocolates NOW? Or wait until later? The mind often provides the foreplay. Can a character’s fantasy have a greater impact on the reader than an explicit description of the actual encounter? I do hope so because this is an approach I use within my writing! If two lovers (or would be lovers) are kept apart for story reasons, the author can bring them together upon the page by giving one of them a chance to fantasise. All of us have dreams, don’t we?

I wish you all a sumptuous holiday season, whether you plan to drink mulled wine by candlelight, escape to a tropical hideaway or attend every possible party!

Love

Toni  x

www.tonisands.co.uk

Follow me @tonisands

To buy Book One, Knight Shades trilogy: Woman of Power, please visit

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-Power-Knights-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00A42VI14/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1355924241&sr=1-1-fkmr0

For my lovely US readers:

http://www.amazon.com/Woman-Power-Knights-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00A42VI14/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1355925452&sr=1-1&keywords=toni+sands

To buy Book Two: Wicked Woman, please visit

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wicked-Woman-Knights-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00APMM2P4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1355924241&sr=1-1

and for US readers:

http://www.amazon.com/Wicked-Woman-Knights-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00APMM2P4/ref=sr_1_7?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1355925527&sr=1-7&keywords=toni+sands

You can pre-order the print version of Orchid Pink

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Orchid+Pink

 

 

A Taste of London by Lucy Felthouse

A Taste of LondonRyan Stonebridge and his friend Kristian Hurst are heading off on the trip of a lifetime. They’re spending their gap year traveling the world and expect lots of sun, sights and sex. The guys have a couple of days in the English capital before catching the Eurostar to Paris. Unfortunately, a family emergency means that Kristian has to head back home for a while, leaving Ryan to continue the trip alone.

Luckily for Ryan, he’s an attractive guy and there is no shortage of gorgeous women available to help take his mind off Kristian’s family drama.

Buy links: http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk/published-works/a-taste-of-london/

*****

Chapter One

“Come on, mate, let’s go and grab our travel passes from the machine,” Ryan said, his familiarity with the locale apparent by the way he marched along the train platform toward the heart of St. Pancras Station.

“What? Uh – okay.” Kristian re-arranged his bag on his shoulder and scurried to keep up with his friend.

Bypassing the huge line of impatient, muttering people queuing for the manned booths, Ryan headed to one of the ticket machines. By the time Kristian caught up, Ryan already had a travel pass in his hand.

“So, um, what do I need to buy then, mate? I’m not as au fait with all this as you.”

“Been practising your French for the trip, Kris?” Ryan punched his friend on the arm playfully. “No worries. We’re only taking one trip tonight so you just need a single to London Bridge on the Tube.”

“All right,” Kristian replied, carefully tapping the relevant areas of the touch screen, feeding his money into the machine and triumphantly retrieving his ticket.

“Okay, I’m ready to go!”

“Come on then.” Ryan hoisted his bag back onto his shoulder and walked in the direction of the Underground, with Kristian close behind.

“Hey,” Kristian said, pointing as they passed a map of the Underground, “don’t you need to check where we’re going?”

“Nope,” Ryan said, without breaking stride, “I know London pretty well, plus I double checked all this stuff when I organised this part of the trip. What can I say, it’s the Boy Scout in me.”

“Cool. I guess it makes things easier when you’re not checking a map every two minutes. So how long will it take us to get to London Bridge station from here?”

They stepped onto the escalator. Rather than standing still and letting the moving staircase do its thing, Ryan continued to walk, eager now to get this leg of traveling over and done with so he could have some fun. It had been a long day, or at least it felt like one. They’d actually only traveled around one hundred and fifty miles from the outskirts of the Peak District to the centre of London, a couple of hours on the train, but it had felt like longer. Perhaps because he’d been so eager to actually get to London and start their adventure.

“Not long mate. Probably about ten minutes. It’s a direct journey and at this time of day it shouldn’t be too busy. We can dump our stuff at the hostel then have some drinks next door.”

“There’s a pub next door? No wonder I let you sort out this trip. You’re a fucking genius!”

By now, they’d reached the bottom of the escalator. Ryan stepped off, then turned to face his friend. Tapping his head, he grinned and said, “It’s not just a hat rack, mate.”

Kristian laughed. “You’re right there.” He paused. “It’s a fucking chick magnet, too!”

Ryan frowned, looking genuinely confused. “It is?” Then he shook himself and smiled. “I wish someone had told me!”

“Are you kidding, mate? Everywhere we go, women are checking you out.” Kristian grinned. “Why do you think I agreed to go traveling with you? I’m hoping some of your apparent sex appeal will rub off on me and get me some action!”

Ryan laughed, then started walking towards the southbound platform for their connection to London Bridge. “So that’s your ulterior motive, eh? Never mind being my best mate, or seeing the world, you just wanna get laid?”

*****

Lucy is a graduate of the University of Derby, where she studied Creative Writing. During her first year, she was dared to write an erotic story – so she did. It went down a storm and she’s never looked back. Lucy has had stories published by Cleis Press, Constable and Robinson, Decadent Publishing, Ellora’s Cave, Evernight Publishing, House of Erotica, Ravenous Romance, Resplendence Publishing, Secret Cravings Publishing, Sweetmeats Press and Xcite Books. She is also the editor of Uniform Behaviour, Seducing the Myth, Smut by the Sea and Smut in the City. Find out more at http://www.lucyfelthouse.co.uk. Join her on Facebook and Twitter, and subscribe to her newsletter at: http://eepurl.com/gMQb9

Filthy Foodie Frolic and Giveaway Day 2

Happy Christmas to all, and fabulous, fun, filthy feasting to everyone!

Welcome to day TWO of the Filthy Foodie Frolic and Giveaway. A big part of the holiday season is food and feasting. A big part of any celebration is food and feasting and the eating and the preparing of food often finds its way into story. My stories are no exception. Raymond and I associate time spent together in the kitchen cooking with dating. We met, dated and married in the former Yugoslavia and a lot of our dating time was spent over preparing meals. We’ve never lost that association of meals prepared together with romance and dating. Our Christmas feast is even more special because it involves a melding of Raymond’s Southern upbringing and my upbringing in the Rocky Mountains, with a few British treats we’ve grown to love and appreciate in our time in the UK.

EXEC-DECISIONThough I’ve never written any seasonal erotica, as I think about the days leading up to Christmas and New Year, I can’t help thinking about all the feasting and celebrating that goes on during that time and how often, in romance, erotica, in story in general, scenes take place with the sharing of a meal. With that in mind, I’d like to share some filthy feasting from my stories with you for the holiday season, along with a giveaway for each new foodie frolic.

Since this is Christmas Day, there’ll be a special giveaway today, something a little more romantic, but with no sortage of heat. My counterpart, Grace Marshall, is in charge of the giveaway today, and she’s offering a PDF of her novel, An Executive Decision. Here’s all you have to do for your chance to win:

Leave a comment about one of your favourite foodie memories. It doesn’t have to be sexy, but it can be. The winner for the second Filthy Foodie Frolic will receive a PDF of Grace’s novel An Executive Decision.

 

And today’s Filthy Foodie Frolic is from my short story, Encounter at Eddie’s All-Night Diner, from Best Women’s Erotica 2012.

‘Encounter At Eddie’s All-night Diner’

Eddie’s All-night Diner may not be in the Michelin guides, but when a voyeuristic, self-proclaimed “food intuitive” meets the king of the carnivores – a man who enjoys food he can get messy with — intuition is out the plate-glass window and messy, saucy, dripping lust is the main course.

Excerpt:

“May I share your table?”

I jump at the unexpected intrusion, and jerk my guilty peripherals away from the couple.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, are you alright?” The voice is a resonant baritone that I could easily curl up and purr in.

“Fine,” I say, and I find myself looking up, and up, and up at a mountain of a man. Not fat, mind you – far from it. He’s well proportioned and christmas-dinner-champagne-celebration-thumb20800291displayed in a muscle shirt stretched over – well — big muscles, tight muscles, muscles that set everything beneath my skirt aquiver. He carries a rolled-up newspaper tucked under his arm. He wears loose fitting summer shorts that come just to his knees and a pair of Birkenstocks the size of small cruise ships. I have never seen feet so big. I know it’s cliché, but I can’t help wondering just how well proportioned he really is. I nod to the other side of my booth, and offer a polite smile. There are other tables available. But it doesn’t matter. I’m intrigued by the size of his Birkenstocks.

His long legs jostle mine as he sits down, offering an embarrassed apology. My stomach does a pirouette. The brush of flesh against flesh is something I’m quite familiar with here at Eddie’s, but I’ve never actually felt it myself. I pretend to find my place in the copy of Anna Karenina I’ve been bringing with me for the past month, then I pretend to lose myself in the story. He opens the menu flat on the table and leans over it, one thick finger following down the list of entrees. He’s leaned over the table so far that he’s practically engulfing it. Just a little sniff and I catch the scent of high summer and man-heat in his hair, and I feel ripples low in my belly.

“What’ll you have?”

I start at the sound of the waitress’s bored voice.

“I’ll have the ribs,” he says.

The combine stare of my table companion and the waitress is my clue that the little whimper I thought was only mental has actually made its way past my lips and out into the public domain.

“Sorry,” I say nodding down to the open pages of my novel. “Very moving.”

He gives me a look that might be sympathetic. The waitress only shoves her pad in her apron and strides back to the counter with the man’s order. The order for ribs.

Nothing is more revealing about a person than the way he eats ribs. I would never touch them. I’d just feel too vulnerable. The man with the huge Birkenstocks is going to sit right here in front of the queen of food intuition and expose himself.

I can’t believe my luck.

But then it hits me. I’m not watching him safely from a corner somewhere. How stealthy can I be when the man is practically sitting on my lap?

He pushes aside the menu, opens his paper flat on the table and starts to read like it’s no big deal.

There are tables full of people all around us. They’re all eating and drinking and exposing themselves to me, but suddenly all I notice is the man sitting across from me, occasionally brushing my knee with his.

My crème brulee arrives and I stare down at it, suddenly too timid to crack the burnt sugar shell and wriggle my spoon down through the smooth creaminess to the tart, plump raspberries at the bottom.

“Looks good,” he says, smiling up at me.

BWE2012Just then his ribs arrive — a mountain of ribs, slathered in rich, savory barbeque sauce, steam rising in little swirls like a bevy of miniature dancing girls wafting their way upward. The waitress slaps down a couple of extra napkins and a plate for the bones and leaves us to it.

When she’s gone I force a smile. “Those look good too.” My voice sounds breathless and thin, like it’s gone off to chase after the rib-scented dancing girls.

“I love ribs,” he says. “I love food I can eat with my fingers, food it’s alright to be messy with.”

I barely manage to suppress another whimper, and my pussy suddenly feels as sticky as the ribs.

“Bon apetit,” he says, nodding to my crème brulee.

“Bon apetit,” I manage to rasp.

He lifts the biggest, thickest, most succulent rib to his lips, one sopping with barbeque sauce and dripping with juice. Then he bites into the steamy meaty side of it, his gaze never leaving mine. I give the burnt sugar shell of my crème brulee a sharp rap with my spoon, unable to take my eyes of the catlike way his tongue slakes up the bone, the way his teeth peel back the meat, the way the juice drips down his fingers and his chin, all so unselfconsciously done, all so deliciously carnivorous. A meat-eater through and through, a primal force to be reckoned with. My god, he’s magnificent!

As he tosses the spent bone onto the extra plate and lifts a second rib to his lips, I mirror his actions with my first spoonful of crème brulee, rich and velvety with just the tip of a single raspberry peaking out from under the crème like a tart, pink nipple. He laps the droplets of meat juice and sauce from the end of the rib just before it can drip onto the table, catching the dribble that slides down his chin on the end of his finger, which he shoves into his mouth, licking and sucking all the way to his knuckle.

I gasp, and he raises a questioning eyebrow.

“Good. It’s good,” I force my breathless voice around a creamy mouthful.

He nods his agreement with a juicy smile and a flutter of dark lashes.

I eat my dessert in big, lusty bites, swallowing down the texture of cream and the tang of raspberry overlaid by the bite of burnt sugar. He’s like a lion at the kill. I half expect him to snarl as he rips the meat from the bone. Just when I’m beginning to suspect, that for him, the pleasure of meat is a total body experience, I realize he’s watching me watch him eat. He’s watching me rock and shift against the naugahide seat with the ecstatic pleasure of the over-all experience.

I freeze. A flash of heat rises to my face like the air conditioner is suddenly blowing hot air. Carefully, I lay down my spoon and wipe the corners of my mouth demurely.

He offers a lazy smile, tosses aside another bone and wipes his mouth, before lowering the napkin back into his lap. “You enjoy food, don’t you?”

I blush harder. “I might say the same about you.”

His smile expands to a soft chuckle. “You can learn so much about people by watching them eat. Don’t you agree?”

My stomach summersaults. Has he read my mind? I’ve always thought watching people eat was almost like reading their mind, but I thought that was my little secret. And granted the choice of the crème brulee was a bit flashy on my part, but I never imagined someone would actually watch me eat.

His knee, which has been resting lightly against the outside of mine shifts and maneuvers until it’s positioned between my legs, and I catch my breath with the delicious impropriety of it. But he just continues eating like it’s no big deal. He’s gnawing and slurping and licking and all the while his knee is gently rubbing against the inside of mine.

I’m in the middle of a luscious creamy mouthful when I feel his leg withdraw. Then he shifts slightly in the booth without missing a beat in his efficient devouring of ribs, and before I know it, his knee has been replaced by his warm, bare foot. It snakes its way up the inside of my thigh, pushing and scrunching my skirt ahead of it as it goes. He seems to be completely focused on his ribs, nipping and ripping and making yummy little animal sounds, almost as though he’s completely unaware of what his very naughty foot is doing under the table.

I’m a captive audience. And after all this time, all my observations and fantasies at Eddie’s All-night Diner come home to roost, right between my legs. Under the table I rearrange my skirt and shift my bottom, opening my legs a little wider until I’m sure the approach is clear, all the while eating crème brulee like it’s nobody’s business.

He makes circular motions high on the inside of my thigh with long, expressive toes. I’m glad the noisy clatter of dishes and the babble of a full house cover my involuntary gasps and sighs. Here I am acting like one of them, one of those people I quietly and smugly observe night in, night out. But I forget all about that when the ball of his foot presses against my mons, caressing my tightly trimmed curls, gently tap-tap-tapping against my pubic bone. And all the while he’s chomping and gnawing like king carnivore himself come to feast.

I run my tongue over the bottom of the spoon, slurping back a mouthful of brulee goodness, and I imagine doing the same to his cock. I wonder just how much of it I could fit into my mouth. Surely he must be hard and uncomfortable. Surely he must be aching for some relief. He shifts against the booth and grunts softly, almost as though he’s read my thoughts again. Then his big toe dips to circle my clit, and I practically bounce off the seat, barley managing to collect myself as the waitress comes by to refill our water glasses. A little more maneuvering and he’s tweaking me between his big toe and the second toe. It’s almost like he’s got a third set of fingers under the table fiddling between my legs like they know their way around the place.

I can’t reach his cock. My legs aren’t long enough. I’ll have to rely on visual stimulation. With the hand not shoveling dessert into my mouth, I reach up under my blouse and play with my tits. They feel so stretched and heavy, like they’re trying to get to him. I pinch my nipples until they’re as big as the raspberries in my crème brulee, and he watches like he has x-ray vision. The toe dance intensifies and his Schwarzenegger pecs rise and fall as though eating ribs has suddenly become hard labor.

I shamelessly undo the front of my blouse, watching his eyes get bigger and bigger with each button. And when the waitress’s back is turned and I’m pretty sure no one’s looking, I let the blouse gape open. I knead and cup and pinch until I can see his pulse hammering against his temples, and his chest is heaving so hard I fear he’ll rip the seams out of the muscle shirt like he’s the Incredible Hulk.

He shifts and maneuvers, and with a tight, sharp thrust, suddenly his big toe pushes into my grudging pussy, and goddamned if it isn’t almost as big as the average cock! Or at least that’s how if feels all thrust up inside me.

“Messy business, ribs,” I rasp. My pussy clenches tight around his toe and I wince as he slips in a second. “So juicy.” I force the words between gritted teeth.

“I told you, I like messy food.” He finds his rhythm. It’s a subtle rhythm, a rhythm no one else notices, though I’d like to think I would have noticed if it had been happening to someone else. The tight rocking and straining of his hips convinces me that I may not be the only one skilled in the art of stealth orgasms. With amazing finesse, he eases yet another toe into my dilating pout, and I’m suddenly so full, I feel like I’ll split in two. But I just keep pressing harder and harder onto him because I can’t help myself, because I’ve never been foot-fucked before, and because he’s just so damned, deliciously huge! I can feel the connection between our bodies, I can feel the shifting of his weight from one buttock to the other, and I’m sure I can almost hear the slurping of my wet cunt grasping at his toes, hungrily sucking in every bit of him until there’s absolutely no room for more.

He stops eating ribs. I stop eating crème brulee. His face is red, and I’m sure mine is too. I’m grinding against him like I’m riding a big horse. and his muscles go so tight I fear he’ll strain something, and God what I wouldn’t give for a peek under the table.

The tightly swallowed yelp is mine as my pussy convulses and I feel the orgasm exploding all the way up through the crown of my head. The groan wrapped in baritone silk is his. His face scrunches briefly, and he inhales sharply like he’s in pain, then I feel something warm and sticky against my knee and the top of my bare thigh.

We both sit stunned as the waitress approaches to refill our coffee cups. “I think I’ll need a few more napkins,” he says sweetly to the woman. He doesn’t sound at all like someone who’s just shot his load under the table on the bare thigh of a stranger in an all-night diner.

From her apron pocket, the waitress hurriedly slaps down enough napkins to paper the walls of the ladies room and trots off to wait on a party of eight two tables down.

When he’s sure she’s gone, he takes several napkins from the stack and proceeds to wipe his cock like it’s no big deal. The man is actually wiping his cock under the table with half his foot still buried in my cunt. The very thought makes my pussy grasp and twitch again. Considerately he waits until I stop spasming before slowly, one at a time, he slips his toes out from between my pussy lips and offers a little nod of his head to the stack of napkins.

Blushing clear to the roots of my hair, I grab a handful and do my own stealth clean-up beneath the table, while he smiles down at me like I’m a well-behaved child.

The waitress clears the dishes and brings his check. I go back to pretending to read Anna Karenina. Once he’s paid, he grabs his newspaper and stands to go. But as he does so, he moves to my side of the booth, and I strain my neck to look up at him. “Thanks for sharing your table,” he says. Then he leans down to meet my gaze. “I hear next Friday night is surf and turf. The steak’s a little overcooked for my taste, but the prawns aren’t bad with a little tartar sauce.” Still holding my gaze, he guides my hand behind the shielding newspaper to rest against the crotch of his shorts, tracing my fingers along the very substantial geography of the cock beneath. As I gasp my admiration, he offers a knowing smile. “Thought you might like to know”

I give him a little squeeze. “I appreciate the tip,” I say. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He thanks the waitress, offers me a slight nod, then turns and walks out into the steamy night.

 

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!