Category Archives: Guest Blogger

Simon Lipson Tells Us About His Novel Inspiration

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Thank you for inviting me to contribute a guest post.

A number of people have asked me what inspired me to start writing Song In The Wrong Key and the truth is, I’m not entirely sure. I remember sitting in my local Starbucks a couple of years ago with time on my hands (I was between engagements, dahling) and just started writing. I thought this would be an exercise, something to pique my interest until a voiceover gig or radio show came along. Neither did, it seems, so I carried on. And it didn’t take me long to realise that I was onto something, inspiration in itself. I don’t mean that I believed I was writing a great book, by the way, more that, having suffered through the writing of a dark psychological thriller some years ago, I immediately recognised that I was now doing something in a style that came naturally to me.

I’ve been a (semi) professional comedian/impressionist, actor and comedy scriptwriter for 20 years and have always looked at everything from the comedic standpoint first. That is not to say that I don’t have a serious side (aren’t all comedians meant to be miserable souls?) and I try not to laugh at funerals, for example, but even in the direst of circumstances, laughter can be a release if not a cure. The protagonist, Mike Kenton, is a middle-aged man whose previously contented existence is thrown out of kilter when he loses his job. His marriage comes under strain and his family life is thrown into jeopardy. Meanwhile, his career fails to re-ignite and he hits rock bottom. What’s funny about that? Well, if you ask me, most of it; not in and of itself, of course, but in the gallows humour it provokes. The fact that most reviewers have agreed that the book is ‘laugh out loud funny’ bears testament to that. But I hope Mike, and indeed all of the characters and situations, are real too. This sort of stuff can and does happen; I’ve just chosen to attack it from a comedic perspective.

I’d always been drawn to tales about Ordinary Joes defying the odds, in particular, those whose previously obscure, private lives suddenly become public. As much as I detest the premise behind shows like X Factor (and the drivel and tittle-tattle that spin off from them) there’s something fascinating about them too. As a thwarted musician myself, I always wondered what it would be like to be thrown into the lion’s den of public approbation and opprobrium, so that was the inspiration behind Mike’s journey.  I thought this would play out as an interesting contrast to the disasters befalling him in his professional and family lives.

My other key inspiration was less to do with the book itself than the lack of books like it in the fiction market place. I’m an avid reader but struggle to find contemporary fiction that makes me laugh. Most of the book shops these days are drowning in fantasy, YA, Scandinavian thrillers and commercial erotica. I have no problem with any genre, but the kind of authors I enjoy – Nick Hornby, David Nicholls, Tom Wolfe, Jonathan Tropper – are increasingly rare. So either I’ve misjudged the public mood or I’m at the vanguard of a new breed of comedy novelists. Time will tell!

*****

Song in the Wrong KeyMichael Kenton is a middle-aged man living in middle-class comfort with wife Lisa and daughters Millie and Katia. Drifting complacently towards retirement, Mike’s world is turned upside-down when he is thrown unexpectedly onto the career scrapheap.

While Lisa’s career sky-rockets, Mike slobs around in his track suit playing guitar, rekindling his teenage love affair with pop music. Knowing Lisa wouldn’t approve, he plots a secret ‘comeback’ at a grimy Crouch End bistro where music executive Ben, desperate and out of time, asks if he can enter one of Mike’s songs into the Eurovision Song Contest. With nothing to lose, Mike focuses on Eurovision but quickly finds himself staring down the barrel of low level fame. His crumbling marriage now page five news, he must choose between his musical dream and mending his broken family, a task complicated by the re-appearance of ex-love of his life Faye.

A laugh-out-loud comedy about love, family, friendship and Euro- tack by acclaimed stand-up and comedy writer Simon Lipson.

*****

Simon LipsonSimon Lipson was born in London and took a law degree at the LSE. After a spell as a lawyer, he co-founded legal recruitment company Lipson Lloyd-Jones in 1987. In 1993, Simon took his first tentative steps onto the comedy circuit and has since become an in-demand stand-up and impressionist across the UK, as well as a regular TV and radio performer/writer. His broadcasting credits include Week Ending, Dead Ringers, Loose Ends and Fordham & Lipson (co-wrote and performed own 4 part sketch series) on Radio 4; Interesting…Very Interesting and Simon Lipson’s Xmas Box on Radio 5 and And This Is Them on Radio 2. He is also an experienced voice artiste who has voiced hundreds of advertisements as well as cartoons and documentaries. His first novel, Losing It, a thriller, was published by Matador in 2008. Simon is a columnist for Gridlock Magazine (www.gridlockmagazine.com). His next novel, Standing Up, will be published by Lane & Hart in Autumn 2012.

 

www.songinthewrongkey.com

www.simonlipson.com

http://www.facebook.com/simon.lipson.3

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Song-In-The-Wrong-Key-Simon-Lipson/140280092721031

Twitter: @SimonLipson

www.simonlipson.blogspot.co.uk

 

Buy links – paperback and Kindle:

Amazon.co.uk: http://amzn.to/xaosKp

Amazon.com: http://amzn.to/yo7bpY

My show, The Accidental Impressionist, is on at the Camden Fringe 20 – 23 August @ 8pm. Everyone welcome! Details and tickets here: http://j.mp/JDPBnu

Kitti Bernetti Dishes the Dirt Behind Her Novella, The Thousand and One Nights

Guest Blogger, , , , , , , ,

The Story Behind The Story

It’s my pleasure to welcome Kitti Bernetti to a Hopeful Romantic to tell the story behind her hot novella, The Thousand and One Nights, the title story of another one Xcite’s fabulous Secret Library anthologies. Go ahead, Kitti! Turn up the heat!

 

The Thousand and One NightsThe whole world is going on about Fifty Shades of Grey. But erotic literature has been around for centuries, and has simply seen a revival with electronic devices. But, the 50 shades phenomenon has a different angle. It is primarily erotic fiction for women, written by a woman and has at its central core an all-consuming love story.

That was also the main brief for those writers asked to pen a novella for Xcite’s Secret Library. Mine, ‘The Thousand and One Nights’ which comes with two other brilliant stories is first and foremost a hot and passionate love story. (It will also be available as a FREE Kindle promotion as a single title called ‘Dark Nights’ from 15 to 19 August). My tale concerns Sebastian Dark, multi-millionaire who is being swindled by Breeze, a girl with a past. When Sebastian discovers Breeze’s treachery, he exacts his own special revenge – she must entertain him each night to save her skin. They start out hating each other but soon discover how much they have in common. Here’s an extract where they are getting it on up in the deserted balcony of the Albert Hall (yes, the Albert Hall! She has to come up with some seriously inventive places to make love to please an alpha male like Seb Dark):

‘… He opened his mouth and cried out as he felt the spunk forced up inside him shoot into her as she pumped mercilessly, opening her eyes and connecting with him, looking into his soul as she drove him, rode him, forced him to mind-blowing orgasm just as the drums thumped, the cymbals crashed, the might of the whole orchestra filling the Albert Hall drowned out his yells of orgasmic fulfilment.

He felt sleepy, exhausted, fulfilled. If the world ended in that second he would be a deliriously happy man. The bed was superb, gilded, over the top. The beautiful Albert Hall, rich and red, was extravagant, echoing the way he was beginning to feel about Breeze lying next to him. Ice Queen, she was not. He turned towards her supine beside him and noticed goose bumps. “You’re cold.” He gently covered her over, pressed the warmth of his body close to hers. A sudden rush of protectiveness engulfed him…. He didn’t want her to be cold, didn’t want her to be hungry or unhappy.’

Find Kitti and her book:

http://kittibernettis.blogspot.com

http://www.kittibernetti.moonfruit.com

Link to ‘Dark Nights’ http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dark-Nights-Xcite-Romance-ebook/dp/B0087G44XS

Link to ‘The Thousand and One Nights’ http://thesecretlibrary.co.uk/?page_id=8769

Quarantine: The Story Behind the Story By Lisabet Sarai

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The Story Behind The Story

It’s my pleasure to welcome the amazing Lisabet Sarai to A Hopeful Romantic on her blog tour for her stunning story, Quarantine. Welcome, Lisabet. Tell us the story behind Quarantine.


I don’t know if I would have written Quarantine if I’d been brought up as something other than Jewish.

None of my family members personally endured the Holocaust. They immigrated decades before the Nazis rose to power. Nevertheless, when you’re a Jew, even a non-observant one like me, the concentration camps and the gas chambers are part of your legacy. The notion that a government might systematically imprison and exterminate millions on the basis of their religious or ethnic background may seem far-fetched and difficult to believe to most people, but when you grow up Jewish, you know the truth. Humans have surprising capacity for evil.

I was an adult before I learned about America’s own camps, where millions of Japanese-Americans were detained during World War II. Of course these individuals weren’t slaughtered, but some did die, of disease or malnutrition, and many of those that survived lost their property, their livelihoods and their communities.

When I listened to the rabid anti-gay rhetoric of right wing politicians and religious figures in the United States, I realized that it wouldn’t take all that much to tip society in the direction of interning gays. (In fact homosexuals were among the victims of Hitler’s “final solution”.) The premise of Quarantine came from that realization, along with the vision of persecution we Jews seem to carry in our bones.

Dylan and Rafe first came to me as characters for a short story, in response to a call for gay BDSM erotica. I could imagine the power differential between a camp guard and a gay prisoner, in a world where being homosexual was a crime. I soon understood that this was far too complicated a scenario for five thousand words. As I started to work on the idea, I saw that the power dynamics could be far more nuanced than I’d initially imagined. In the final novel, Rafe is ostensibly the one on top, but Dylan controls much of the action through charisma and craft.

The final book doesn’t include any explicit BDSM, other than a scene where one of the villains kidnaps and binds Dylan for his own entertainment. At the same time, the book is about power – political power, moral power and erotic power.

QuarantineBlurb

When love is forbidden, the whole world’s a prison.

Dylan Moore will do anything for freedom. Seven years ago, a gay epidemic spread to heterosexuals, killing millions and sparking brutal anti-gay riots. The Guardians rounded up men who tested positive for the homogene and imprisoned them in remote quarantine centres like desolate Camp Malheur. Since then, Dylan has hacked the camp’s security systems and hoarded spare bits of electronics, seeking some way to escape. He has concluded the human guards are the only weakness in the facility’s defences.

Camp guard Rafe Cowell is H-negative. He figures the lust he feels watching prisoner 3218 masturbate on the surveillance cameras must be due to his loneliness and isolation. When he finally meets the young queer, he discovers that Dylan is brilliant, brave, sexy as hell – and claims to be in love with Rafe. Despite his qualms, Rafe finds he can’t resist the other man’s charm. By the time Dylan asks for his help in escaping, Rafe cares too much for Dylan to refuse.

Dylan’s plan goes awry and Rafe comes to his rescue. Soon they’re both fugitives, fleeing from militant survivalists, murderous androids, homophobic ideologues and a powerful man who wants Dylan as his sexual toy. Hiding in the Plague-ravaged city of Sanfran, Dylan and Rafe learn there’s far more than their own safety at stake. Can they help prevent the deaths of millions more people? And can Rafe trust the love of a man who deliberately seduced him in order to escape from quarantine?

Excerpt (Rated X)

Rafe rammed his prick into Dylan’s mouth, seeking heat and wetness. Meanwhile, he opened wide and engulfed his lover’s cock, sliding his lips down the length. The taut skin was velvety and smooth. He thought he could feel Dylan’s pulse against his tongue. He licked at the warm, ripe flesh. It felt so alive, so full, ready to burst.

He’d never tasted a man’s cum, but he wanted to now. He rocked his hips up and down, letting Dylan feast on his meat. Meanwhile, he suckled the other man’s organ, mimicking the tricks Dylan used, that he was using now in fact, to drag Rafe to the very edge of control. Pleasure welled up and threatened to overflow, but Rafe didn’t plan to come yet. No, he needed to hold on until he made Dylan shoot. It was a matter of honour.

The white guy was close. Rafe bore down, tilting his head back to lengthen his throat. Dylan arched in response, slamming his bulb against Rafe’s palate. Rafe fought the urge to choke. He knew how good it felt to let everything rip, to drive your cock deep, as deep as you could, to ravage someone’s willing mouth, holding nothing back, nothing…

Without warning, or at least any that he recognised, yeasty fluid filled his mouth. He coughed and swallowed. Dylan’s cock convulsed, spitting out more gobs of warm liquid. Rafe gulped down as much as he could, the remnants leaking from the corners of his lips. The odd taste, the unfamiliar sensations, and most of all, the knowledge that he’d sucked his lover to climax, all combined to take him over the edge. With one last thrust, he let go.

The pleasure was round and full, different somehow from his usual wild, jagged orgasms. It surged up from his depths, powerful, irresistible, sweeping away every thought in a blissful tide of satisfaction. For what seemed like hours, the waves rolled through him, pleasure swirling up from his balls and out onto Dylan’s tongue.

Rafe collapsed on top of his lover. Dylan’s cock slipped out from between his bruised lips. His face was sticky with jizz. His arms muscles screamed from exertion. He felt Dylan’s cat-like tongue, lapping the last drops of semen from his own dick.

He’d never been happier.

****

Thanks, K.D, for having me as your guest. This post today is part of my Quarantine blog tour, which will run  through the 24th of July. I’ll be giving away an ebook to one commenter at each stop on the tour. So leave a comment – and don’t forget to include your email address so I can contact you!

I’ll also be choosing one commenter from the entire tour to win the grand prize – a $50 All Romance Ebooks gift certificate. Meanwhile, all comments at my own blog Beyond Romance (http://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com) during the tour will also go into the drawing for the gift certificate.

You’ll find the schedule for the tour in my July newsletter: http://www.lisabetsarai.com/news.html

You can watch the sensational Quarantine trailer here. And if you’re interested in getting your own copy of Quarantine, just go to Total-E-Bound (http://www.total-e-bound.com/product.asp?P_ID=1725)!

*****

Bio: More than a decade ago LISABET SARAI experienced a serendipitous fusion of her love of writing and her fascination with sex. Since then she has published four single author short story collections and seven erotic novels, including the BDSM classic Raw Silk. Dozens of her shorter works have been released as ebooks and in print anthologies. She has also edited several acclaimed anthologies and is currently responsible for the altruistic erotica series COMING TOGETHER PRESENTS.

Lisabet holds more degrees than anyone needs from prestigious universities who would no doubt be embarrassed by her chosen genre. She loves to travel and currently lives in Southeast Asia with her highly tolerant husband and two cosmopolitan felines. For more information on Lisabet and her writing visit Lisabet Sarai’s Fantasy Factory (http://www.lisabetsarai.com) or her blog Beyond Romance (http://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com).

I. G. Frederick Discusses Judging a Book by its Cover

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I’d like to welcome I. G. Frederick back to my site to share some very interesting insights into something very near and dear to every novelist’s heart, book cover design and its effect on sales.

 

DommemoirPeople do judge a book by its cover. Case in point: my third novel, Dommemoir. The original publisher approached me and offered promotional/marketing support to get me to sign with them.

They sponsored a launch party that featured a cake topped with a marzipan male genitalia wearing a ball spreader. I wrote guest blog posts. I gave workshops. I appeared on radio shows. I held a second launch party hosted by a Body Piercing & Tattoo establishment whose owner had been a resource for scenes in the book. The book received excellent reviews and was a Night Owl Romance Top Pick.

Sales were disappointing.

After two years, I got the rights back to the book and re-released it. I did none of those things. No party. No guest blog posts. No radio shows. I mentioned the book on Twitter, Face book, and G+.

My launch day sales exceeded those the publisher reported for the entire first quarter when it was originally released and they’ve steadily increased since then. As of mid May, my sales exceeded those of the publisher for the entire time they had the rights to the book.

The only thing I changed (except for correcting some minor typos) was the interior and cover design. And, while the former might make for a better reading experience, the latter is what dramatically increased my book sales.

The original cover looked okay in print, but it did nothing to sell the book. The thumbnail was a black blob. I never liked it, but I’d already gotten the publisher to ditch an even worse cover design and knew I’d never get this one changed.

One of the advantages of Indie publishing is having complete control over how your book looks. But, that also means you own responsibility for every facet of your book’s appearance. I’m fortunate in that I have skills as a typesetter and book designer. The interior design of the first edition of Dommemoir was just plain boring and I could fix that.

I’ve had some graphic design experience, and I’m comfortable creating simple covers for short stories. But, I’m not a designer or an artist. As I mentioned on this blog at the beginning of the year, I already had Nyla Alisia at Pussy Cat Press, who is both, redesign the covers for the second editions of Broken and Shattered. (Sales for both have also increased dramatically with the new covers. They are not romances so they have a smaller audience. But, they still outsold their original, three-year publisher release at the end of May after less than seven months with new covers. Some of those sales could be attributed to the lack of e-books when the books were originally released. But they’re selling in paper as well.)

As a result, when Nyla asked me to trust her and give her free reign to design the new cover for Dommemoir, I agreed. Although normally she only reads a synopsis and a few chapters before working on a cover design, apparently she wasn’t able to put Dommemoir down and ended up reading the entire book. (And, after she finished it, Nyla decided she would like to be a FemDom and wrote a tagline warning readers: “This book will change women’s perspective on relationship dynamics forever.”)

She took the elements that touched her, that made the story powerful, and combined them in a unique cover that captures the emotional content of the book. I know if she had tried to explain the cover to me or showed me a sketch to convey the idea, I probably would have vetoed it. But, the minute I saw what she created, I fell in love and only requested some very minor adjustments.

In one image she managed to cover every critical element of the book, without giving away too much. It is absolutely perfect! And, the sales numbers prove that a good cover really can make or break a book.

Recently, I taught a class on self publishing at a local college. When I spoke about cover design, I started with a bag full of books that I believe have great covers. One by one, I pulled each book out of the bag, held it up for a few seconds, and put it back. Then, I asked my students to tell me what genre that book was marketed in. (Genre being a way to categorize the emotional response expected from a reader.) Even with only a few seconds to view each cover, at least one student accurately stated the genre of each book.

And, then, I went on to explain why that was important.

You have to write a good book. You have to put it in front of the right audience with a blurb that entices them to read a sample. But, if you don’t have an eye catching cover that captures the emotional tone of the book at first glance, you’ll never get readers to click on your cover instead of one of the dozens of others vying for their attention.

*****

I.G. Frederick has traded words for cash more years than she cares to admit and has specialized in erotic fiction and poetry since 2001. She has sold numerous short stories and poems to various print and electronic magazines and anthologies. Her novels have received high praise from readers, critics, and other authors.

You can download the first two chapters of Dommemoir or a free short story excerpt, “Jarod,” from her website where you can also read reviews of her work and find links to purchase her novels, poetry books, and individual short stories. She resides in the Pacific Northwest of the U.S. with her submissive, Patrick, and three other felines.

Kay Jaybee Tells Us About Her Sticky Situation

Guest Blogger, , , , , , ,

The Story Behind The Story

It’s my pleasure to have one of my favourite erotica authors, and one of my favourite people, Kay Jaybee, back on A Hopeful Romantic. Kay’s here to share the naughty story behind her novella, A Sticky Situation, which is her tasty contribution to Xcite’s Secret Library anthology, Hungarian Rhapsody. Welcome, Kay!

 

I was extremely flattered when Xcite asked me if I would like to write a novella for their exciting new Secret Library collection. I jumped at the chance to be included in this new venture, which brings three erotic romances per volume, into sumptuous velvet touch hardback books.

Included within the Hungarian Rhapsody volume, my story, Sticky Situation, introduces us to marketing whizz, Sally Briers, and her brand new boss, “Bloody Cameron James!”

If there is a paving stone to trip over, or a drink to knock over, then Sally Briers will trip over it or spill it. Yet somehow Sally is the successful face of marketing for a major pharmaceutical company; much to the disbelief of her new boss, Cameron James.

Forced to work together on a week-long conference in an Oxford hotel, Sally is dreading spending so much time with arrogant new boy Cameron; whose presence somehow makes her even clumsier than usual.

Cameron on the other hand, just hopes that he’ll be able to stay professional, and keep his irrational desire to lick up all the accidently split food and drink that is permanently to be found down Sally’s temptingly curvy body, all to himself.

It could be a very long week- unless Cameron can find a way of making Sally slop so much of her after show champagne, that he has no choice but to march her off and relieve her of her sodden clothing… He is sure that, if he could find a way to stop Sally resenting him taking her previous bosses job, then they could enjoy no end of sticky situations together…

 

Hungarian RhapsodyNow, I have a confession- when Xcite asked me to do this erotic romance novella, they felt they had to stress that in the Secret Library the whips and chains had to be left firmly in the drawer! I couldn’t help but laugh- it seems my reputation for extreme kink made it necessary to stress the lack of ‘pain in the pursuit of pleasure angle’ to my novella!

I can’t deny it- they had a point! I had never written an erotic romance before. Anyone who has read any of my stories, whether short or novel length, will know that love stories are not something I am known for! A happy ending in my stories is not always guaranteed! I couldn’t help thinking Xcite were very brave even asking me to do this- and I really didn’t want to let them down.

For the very first time, I approached a new story with a sense of nervousness! What if I couldn’t write romance? And for that matter- what would I write about? The answer came to me in a most unexpected fashion.

I make no secret of the fact that every day I write in my favourite local cafe. Each morning, as I attempt to order my brain into some sort of workable frame of mind, I munch on brown toast and marmalade. It is also no secret that I am incredibly clumsy- if there is a doorframe, I will walk into it- fact!

The week before I had planned to start writing my Secret Library story, I was still unsure about what to write. I was sat in the cafe as usual, about to tuck into my toast, when I accidentally knocked the edge of my plate. My breakfast instantly soared through the air in majestic style, only to land, marmalade side down (of course!), onto my jumper- prompting the cafe’s owner to laugh heartily as he dashed over with a handful of serviettes, saying ‘Bit of a sticky situation here then!’

Eureka! My mind latched onto the phrase ‘sticky situation’, and the novella was underway only minutes later… (well, after I’d had a quick wash and taken off my jumper!)

Buy Hungarian Rhapsody: Amazon UK, Amazon US