It’s All About Sex … and Creativity

Sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities.  —Erica Jong

My husband knows I’m always looking for interesting articles about sex. He sent me one the other day about masturbation as a treatment for restless leg syndrome (It’s orgasm that actually seems to help. The means is optional.) This led us to an impromptu  discussion of all of the other benefits of sex. Sex is a good sleep aid, sex can help with weight loss, sex can improve skin, hair and nails, just to name a few. There was even a recent article in Psychology Today about semen as an anti-depressant. The jury, however, is still out on whether sex is an aid or a deterrent to creativity.

 For the naysayers, abstinence has long been touted as a way to focus sexual energy for creative purposes. On the other hand, a study at the University of Newcastle-on-Tyne and the Open University showed that professional poets and artists had almost twice as many sex partners as other people. The study also showed that the number of sex partners increased as creative output went up. The conclusion drawn was that the more creative you are, the more sex partners you were likely to have.

 I’m sure that’s a simplification, but I wonder which came first: the sex or the creativity? Is it the creative force that makes us horny, or is it being horny that makes us creative? My guess is that every writer, poet or artist would answer that question differently. However, I don’t think there’s any denying the close connection between the creative force and sexuality. Nor do I think that’s particularly surprising. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Freud was right. It IS all about sex. But I wonder whether we really understand just what sex is all about.

 Yes, the basic biology is obvious, but we humans haven’t had sex simply to procreate in a very long time now. We’ve evolved to want, to expect, even to need more from the sex act than just the next generation. Perhaps that goes hand-in- hand with our cultural evolution, what sets us apart from our animal cousins — at least in our own eyes. For humans, all things seem to have evolved two meanings. First there is the concrete realm in which we’re born, nurtured, thrive, reproduce and die. But we develop another level of meaning when we no longer have to use all of our energy just to survive. When starvation is no longer an issue, food and its preparation and presentation become art. When keeping out the cold is no longer an issue, clothing becomes fashion, and magazines tell us how we can be walking galleries for the art of clothing. When finding shelter from the elements is no longer necessary, our very homes become an artistic expression of ourselves. In a world where all our basic needs have evolved more than one meaning, the artistic expression becomes as important as the function.

 But all of these necessities are mundane. Sex is not. For our ancestors, sex was the magic by which two people become three. Today sex is the magic by which two people become one, or by which one person becomes more herself or himself. On one hand procreation has given way to re-creation,  but on the other hand, how can an act that has evolved from the very need to create the next generation be rooted in anything but creativity?

 How can the process of creating be anything but sexual? Writing a story is a penetrative act resulting in something larger, something much more alive than the words on the page, than the idea conceived. That’s heady stuff. That’s the writer in full rut. It’s intimate, it’s messy, it’s rough and tumble, it’s voyeurism and exhibitionism and full-on heat. If it isn’t, then there hardly seems to be a point.

 That being said, anyone who has had good sex, lingering sex in which time seemed no longer to exist, will recall that what mattered was the wonder of the act itself, the amazing intimacy with the other. Any writer or artist knows that experience up close and personal. At some point the creative act itself becomes the sum total of existence. The writer’s world shrinks to and expands out from that act, and the end no longer matters.

 So how did I get from masturbation for restless leg syndrome to once more worshiping at the altar of the Divine Creative Sexual Force? Well I suppose it’s all just a part of the journey isn’t it? And besides, where else would I go with it?

 What’s Happening

Speaking of creativity, I spent a lovely day the 2nd of April with the Sweet ‘N Sexy Divas on their great sight talking about writing not being a means to an end. The conversation was great, and the Divas rock. I highly recommend a visit to their site.

Today I’m with the fabulous Tonya Kinzer talking about the writing process and pushing the envelope.  I always have a great time talking with other writers and hearing what works for them. The woman gardens and drinks red wine! I think those fine traits speak for themselves. Stop in and say hi.

Family Friendly Working Ezine had a fabulous interview with Xcite Book’s fearless leader, Hazel Cushion, this week . The woman is amazing on every level and the article is great. Plus it quotes moi. I’m very pleased to be apart of Xcite.

The week has been about clearing the decks, getting blog posts, promo stuff and short stories off the table so I can start in full-tilt on Lakeland Heatwave next week, and I’m more than ready to get down to a little Lakeland fun.

In other news, there have been two very long, very delicious walks on my home turf, both resulting in some serious encounters with the Muse. And the portable greenhouses are bursting at the seam with seedlings waiting to go in the beds. Both beds now have peas and cauliflower planted.  Creative work is dirty work:)

Wishing everyone almost too much of a good thing!


The Great Outdoors Volume 2, More of a Good Thing

Any way you undress it, sex al fresco is the archetypal erotic fantasy, and in her latest offering, The Great Outdoors Volume 2, Two Erotic Short Stories, Lucy Felthouse reminds us once again just why that’s the case. Lucy gives us two wet-hot stories that simmer with sex and chemistry.

In Ms Felthouse’s opening story, Zoe’s first date with Nick at Stratford-upon-Avon starts off as a dud until a rainstorm calls for a little improvising. In the second story Anna and her hot Scottish gamekeeper, Greg, are back by popular demand, with a story that’s almost too hot to handle, but might have benefited from the tiniest bit of a recap for those unlucky enough not to have read The Great Outdoors, the first volume yet. On the other hand, maybe Ms Felthouse knows that if you haven’t read the first TGO, you’ll be scrambling to buy your copy after you’ve read the second.

 Lucy Felthouse has a talent for taking everyday life, lighting a fire under it and making  it sizzles larger and sexier than life. The sex is hot, and the stories are fun and quirky, with more than a hint of romance. Great Outdoors Volume 2 is another Felthouse winner.

 The two-story format is a great sampler size for newbies to erotica or to Lucy Felthouse, or for anyone wanting a quickie, but I warn you, they won’t be enough. Maybe five stories in volume 3, Ms Felthouse? Possibly ten? Hmmm?


Empty Nest, Tea With Medusa, and Questions of My Stability

The nest is temporarily empty, as most of you already know. Those of you who don’t must have been on another planet when it happened, otherwise you would have heard the shouting all over Facebook and Twitter and anyplace else I could shout it from. The Pet Shop is now out the door and in the gentle but firm hands of the good folks at Xcite. And yes, I feel a bit bereft.

Has there been a celebration? Weeell, not exactly. That is unless you call more writing ‘celebrating.’ It occurred to me as I sent The Pet Shop out into the big wide world with a flutter in my heart and a lump in my throat that I really don’t know what to do with myself when I’m not writing. Since the tender farewell, there have been blog posts, there have been reviews, and there has been the odd short story, which after spending so much time with my Pets just seem, well, so short

Today, after a walk over Pewley Downs into town, I had a pot of tea with Medusa. Here’s me writing fast and furious while she tells me about her sculpture garden, all dark and mossy and mysterious. I walked back home with the weather threatening rain, all the while she whispered her story seductively in my ear. Then there was an idea for a post about how to write sex floating around in my head, which Medusa elbowed out of the way none too gently. And back behind the hedge row I could just catch a glimpse of the Lakeland ghosts waiting, not very patiently, for their turn.

I just wrote a post about emptying the brain from the busy-ness to make room for the imagination. But in my case, the imagination seems to be taking up a lot more room than I allotted it. Or is it just me, too scared NOT to write?

I should probably take some time to bask in the afterglow, maybe go out for dinner and a movie with hubby, but try to tell that to Medusa. I won’t lie, there are times when I wonder if I’m alright. There are times when I wonder if maybe it’s just not normal to spend so many happy afternoons and evenings…and mornings with people who only exist in my imagination. Am I unstable to eschew a night out so I can write more words? And anyway, even if I do go out, Medusa and the ghosts and the gardener who uncovers rude statuary in an overgrown garden, they all come along with me and crowd around the dinner table and shout in my ear during the film.

All of this makes me wonder what would actually happen to me if I took a break from writing — I mean really took a break. It gives me a headache to think about it. Okay, there is reading, and I really like that. But I can’t possibly read and not think about how the book was written, and what inspired the author. And then there are all the ideas with which that book inspires me. You get the picture.

I can’t really count walking as something to do when I’m not writing, because there’s always the ghosts in the hedgerows and the couple going at it in the back of the stables and Medusa, of course. Then there’s gardening. Well, gardening by its very nature begs rude stories. And there’s something about compost and growing things that just can’t keep from inspiring creativity.

Come to think of it, it really doesn’t matter what I do. In my head, I’m still writing. When I bang on the piano, well, there’s this romance I’ve partly written down that involves a pianist and an astrophysicist. No, seriously. Even when I’m ironing or doing the washing up stories are pouring into my head. Sometimes even when I’m asleep and dreaming.

Now that I think of it, maybe writing IS the celebration for finishing The Pet Shop. It works for me, and Medusa’s happy with it. And my long suffering husband came to terms with my writing obsession a long time ago. He just goes with the flow. So maybe there’s no need to take a break from writing after all. Whew! I feel better already!

Besides the Empty Nest, Here’s the Latest

The week started out with a really fantastic review of The Initiation of Ms Holly, on the eBook Addict Review site.

*I can honestly say that this book has turned me into a K D Grace junkie I cannot get enough of her writing.

*…This is a must read.

On the 23rd, the lovely Lisa Fox interviewed me on her website, and we talked about why I think Freud is right about sex. Imagine that, me talking about sex! It was a lovely chat.

It’s been a week of fab reviews and happy dance sort of news. The Romance Reviews awarded The Initiation of Ms Holly a five star review AND Top Pick status!  I can’t keep my eyes of the lovely Top Pick badge on Holly’s page of my website.

The lovely folks at Coffee Time Romance also gave The Initiation of Ms Holly a fab review, weighing in at four cups. We’ll take it!

The Initiation of Ms. Holly is so hot I am still tingling a day after I finished reading this novel. This spicy number will heat you up and keep you fully charged for days to come.”

On the 30th, I got the chance to visit the lovely Bianca Sommerland at I’m no Angel Author’s Blog. And, since it’s getting on that time of year again, I talked about compost…well writing compost, at least.

On the 31st, I had a lovely talk with the fabulous Lindsey Townsend at The British Romance Fiction Blog. I discussed using all of the senses in writing.

No doubt there’ll be gardening and walking and maybe a little telly on the side, even spending some time with friends this weekend, but it’s a pretty good bet that none of that will happen without Medusa and the gang close at hand.



A Captive Audience for ‘The Perfect Submissive’

Kay Jaybee is the queen of BDSM! If ever I doubted that, her debut novel, The Perfect Submissive, published by Xcite Books, eliminated those doubts. Mrs. Peters is just your typical manageress of a typical business hotel called the Fables, oh, and did I mention that she is also a dominatrix extraordinaire, who runs the hotel’s secret, adult entertainment Fifth Floor with an iron hand (and a stiff cane.)

 The woman is a sadist’s sadist, and must surely have a degree in psychology tucked inside her corset somewhere, because she understands completely the secret, hidden, dark desires of her guests as well as her staff. And the new clerk, Jess Sanders, has submissive written all over her. She has no idea that her job description will involve a whole lot more than answering the phone and taking bookings. Ms Jaybee gives us a voyeur’s eye view into the tight-laced, hard disciplining, gusset-dampening on-the-job training that will either make Jess the perfect submissive or drive her around the bend trying.

 But Jess’s training is not the only thing on Mrs. Peter’s sadistic mind. There’s sexy artist, Sam Wheeler, who just may not respond equally well to Mrs. Peter’s firm hand. Has she finally met her match in the man who has a bit of a dominant streak of his own?

 The action is non-stop, hard-hitting, dark, sexy and intriguing. Though The Perfect submissive is not a book for first-timers at the erotica banquet, I defy anyone to walk away when Mrs Peters enters the room.

 This may be Kay Jaybee’s debut novel, but here’s sincerely hoping there are lots more where The Perfect Submissive came from!

Available from Xcite, Amazon UK, Amazon US, Waterstones, and all other good eBook retailers.


Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade talk about all things Oysters and Chocolate

I’m very excited to have two of my idols from the world of erotica on my blog today. Welcome, Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade of Oysters and Chocolate fame! As a Colorado girl myself – I grew up in North Park — I feel a real sense of camaraderie with the two of you. I adore the Oysters and Chocolate website, and I’m very excited to have you both on my blog.

 KD: The list of writer’s in the Nice Girls Naughty Sex anthology reads like a who’s who in the erotica author’s hall of fame. What inspired the two of you to put together this yummy anthology, other than just having so many fab contributors to O&C, which says a great deal about the website, and the quality of fiction published there?

 Jordan & Samantha:  Ever since we began the Oysters & Chocolate website in 2005 it was a dream of ours to compile an erotic anthology. We actually envisioned a set of four anthologies, each corresponding to the four flavors on our site (Vanilla, Licorice Whips, Oysters, and Dirty Martini). It turns out publishers were more interested in all four flavors put together into one anthology. After compiling our first anthology in 2009 (Oysters & Chocolate: Erotic Stories of Every Flavor, Penguin Group), we were eager to do another one. They are just so much fun! When we got the opportunity to work with Seal Press, we jumped on it. Seal Press is a smaller publisher (smaller than Penguin, anyway) that is women-oriented – which is very cool.

 We are super pleased to have well established writers like Donna George Storey and Rachel Kramer Bussel in the anthology mixed in with some new voices like Venerato Petronius and Julian Augustus Finisterre. We selected each of the 20 stories (out of hundreds of submissions) based on their “turn-on factor” and literary merit, as well as how well they flowed with the compilation as a whole. It’s not surprising that a lot of these stories come from talented and well-liked writers. Those writers are the best at what they do!

 KD:  O&C is a site designed for women, and as the market for women’s erotica grows, I wonder, what are the differences that you find most striking between what turns women on and what turns men on – based on your experiences at O&C.

 Jordan & Samantha:  Our original vision was to design a site that was “for women, by women,” because when we got into the industry in 2005 there was a serious lack of erotic/pornographic material geared towards the ladies out there. However, the industry has changed and a lot of people are entering the market with the same idea. At the same time, we noticed that we have a huge number of men who visit our site regularly, and we get some really good work from male writers. So our vision evolved from being exclusively women-centric to providing the best literary erotica we can get our dirty little paws on. Good sex is good sex and readers love to read. It turns out men and women are more similar than we think.

 KD:  What has been your most exciting moment in the history of O&C, if you had to choose just one? Okay, you can choose two if it’s a tough decision.J

 Jordan & Samantha:  It was definitely the day that we signed on with our amazing literary agent Emmanuelle Morgen. When we realized that she was really interested in helping us make our dreams of editing, writing, and publishing books come true. We were on a phone conference with her, and while our voices were playing it calm, cool and collected, we were both beaming ear to ear and giving quiet high fives to each other. When we hung up the phone we both fell to the floor screaming and laughing. Then we hurried to the bar and got drunk on cava. 

 KD:  Having edited several books for O&C and published countless tantalizing works of erotic fiction and poetry on O&C, are there any trends you see developing in women’s erotica since the founding of O&C? Any major changes?

 Jordan & Samantha:  There is a lot more erotica out there now than there was ever before. We’ve seen the industry grow from a closeted, secret society to a more mainstream business. It’s exciting to watch it grow like this, and it’s thrilling to know that we are some of the pioneers that are working hard to give erotica the respect it deserves. There’s still a stigma that erotica is just “sex stories” and not literary, but we feel that is one of the things that is slowly changing. After all, good erotica should be given the same esteem that any other form of genre fiction receives, whether that’s mystery or sci-fi. We’re working our little butts off to bring sexy, literary masterpieces to the light of day. We’d like all erotica writers to be able to talk about their work at any old dinner party with pride and without blushing.

 Along the same lines, we’ve watched the quality of erotica improve. When we began, we saw a lot more submissions with cliché situations and plots – similar to what one might read in the Penthouse Forum (not that the Forum doesn’t serve it’s own titillating purpose, but we were looking for well developed, incredibly sexy short stories, not confessional, scripted letters that start out, “I never thought this would ever happen to me, but…”). Now we see work that has such unique voice, great characterization, real creativity – and of course, amazingly hot sex.

 KD:  With so much quality erotica now available on the internet, and with more women writing and reading erotica of every flavor, do you think that it has narrowed the gap between what women find arousing and what men find arousing? Do you think the time will come when our gender will have nothing to do with what turns us on?

 Jordan & Samantha: We’ve been delighted to discover that anyone who loves to read and loves to have sex is into the smart smut, whatever his or her gender. But yes, we’ve noticed that as both men and women read and write more, they give themselves permission to have more varied fantasies. It’s a natural progression that as they imagine different scenarios and experiences, their imaginations take them to more common sexual ground. For example, a woman may grow up thinking she should only be turned on by vanilla, straight sex – like what she might expect to experience in her marital bed. But when she starts reading a variety of erotica, she may realize that (gasp!) she is authentically aroused by the thought of penetrating a man with a strap-on (a traditionally male sexual act). Would she have ever known this had she not read erotica? She would probably have had an inkling of her true inner desires, but erotica is a safe and creative way to explore new sexual ideas and territories. It’s a way that both men and women can discover and enjoy their real sexual interests with no gender-identities attached. And yes, hopefully the time will come when we are no longer taught that what is sexy is linked to our gender, so that we can authentically just experience what turn us on.

 KD:  Plans in the works for another anthology?

 Jordan and Samantha:  Heck ya! We have several ideas percolating for our next anthologies. We hope that this is just the beginning. Putting together anthologies is an addictive and rewarding experience.

 KD:  What do the two of you do for fun when you’re not O&C-ing?

 Jordan – as you well know Colorado is rich with the beauty of nature. I love to get out hiking in the summer and snowboarding in the winter. I grew up running barefoot in the woods with my red hair atangle, so being in the forest as an adult is still the place where I find my happiness. I also love eating at fancy restaurants with my two bestest friends, going on hot and sexy dates, or just chillin’, with my amazing boyfriend, snuggling and running with my two big dogs, and traveling the world with my awesome daughter. She and I just returned from a two week adventure in Israel. Holy moly!

 Samantha – life is a crazy mess right now, so I’m finding fun in new places. I’m trying to learn how to cook, whether I’m successful or not is another question, but I’m loving making a mess of the kitchen, chopping away at vegetables with my new chef’s knife while pots overflow and things burn in the oven. I used to be in bed by 9, but now I’m enjoying spending time outside at night, gazing at the stars. And of course, there’s my favorite stand-by, cuddling up with a good book and a bottle of red wine (the good book is sometimes replaced with watching a whole slew of United States of Tara or Big Love episodes right in a row).

 KD:  How do you see O&C evolving in the future?

 Jordan & Samantha:  O&C constantly delights and surprises us with how she grows and stretches beyond our wildest dreams. We have ideas for a complete website redesign in the nearish future, which will reflect our new vision of literary erotica (vs. female-centric erotica). We also intend to put out a lot more books. Jordan is interested in getting back into the writing side of things and is working on an erotic novel as well as submitting several erotic short stories for publication. Samantha is thinking it might be time to begin an “In the Flesh” series (started by Rachel Kramer Bussel in NYC) right here in Denver. There’s always a new adventure waiting for us at O&C and we’re excited to see where it takes us next.

 Thanks Kd!

 Thank YOU, Jordan and Samantha! It’s been a real treat for me to get to know both of you a little better!  Best of luck with all the fab O/C-ness yet to come!

You can buy your copy of Nice Girls Naughty Sex here:

© 2017 K D Grace
The Romance Reviews

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