Tag Archives: write sex right

Eroticon 2014 Mental Snap Shots

IMG00622-20140311-1111There are snippets of time we’ve anticipated for ages, and when they’re suddenly upon us, they pass in a whirlwind of experience and laughter and conversation. These snippets stick with us like snap shots, so in lieu of the many photos I was too into the moment to take, I’d like to share with you some of my snapshot moments from Eroticon 2014. Some of the photos I am using I shamelessly borrowed from the Brit Babes.

A strawberries and Fizz Brit Babes reunion in Lily Harlem’s hotel room.

In so many ways this reunion was also a birthday party, since it was last year at Eroticon 2013 that the Brit Babes were first conceived in London in the hotel bar when the ideas were flowing faster than the alcohol. Eroticon is a great place for the imagination. The year before the Brit Babe members dreamed and schemed the Sweetmeats Seven Deadly Sins Anthology.

Armada House revisited

The very first Eroticon was held in Bristol in Armada House two years ago, and everyone I talked to who attended was thrilled to be back in the warm homey space and back to cheeky, sparkly, in your face Bristol.

Censorship online and in Print

The riveting opening talk of Eroticon 2014 was on the topic of censorship online and in print with feminist pornographer, Pandora Blake, solicitor-advocate Miles Jackman and writer and member of Feminists Against Censorship, Zak Jane Keir. I was stunned by the ambiguity of the obscenity laws. In fact, the laws seem to be fluid enough to be easily accommodate any agenda.

10001307_10152675201832786_1266549849_nThe Lister Dent Short Story Formula

After being in Ashley Lister’s poetry workshop last year, his class was at the top of my list. I was not disappointed. Ashley led us down a raucous path of formulaic fiction made literature, that was fun, informative and creative. Some at our table may be revisiting Tales of the Knicker Drawer in future.

Overwhelmed by Sexuality and Spirituality

Victoria Blisse and I plotted this panel at last year’s Eroticon. We Skyped, emailed and schemed for a discussion we both felt was essential to erotica writers. We didn’t know what to expect, but a full house of enthusiastic people willing to share their thoughts on the deep connection between the spiritual and the sexual and the common vocabulary as well as the common experience is what we got. We both came away feeling like we were the richer for the effort.

Delightfully dazed and confused by marketing and Twitter

The fabulous Ruby Goodnight and Michael Knight were very patient and shared myriad ways to market better and use Twitter more efficiently. I confess that I am still a dunce, though thanks to Ruby and Michael, I’m a little less so and most definitely proud of myself for making the attempt to learn more. Every little insight is huge for me, and Ruby and Michael were amazing.

Sacred BDSM

London Faerie was back this year with Martina, who has the voice of an angel. The demonstration of sacred BDSM was moving and full of thought-provoking nuance that I’ll be thinking on for awhile.

In front of the Ibis HotelCyclonic waves of hen parties and gigantic inflatable penises (peni?)

I quickly discovered that Bristol is Hen Party Central on a Saturday night. A growing crowd of eroticoners made our way along the waterfront avoiding the swing of enormous inflatable penises and shoving cheek to jowl with slightly inebriated women teetering on nose-bleed heals. We descended on the Stable for a dinner of pies, pizza and cider. Sixteen of us crowded around a table for ten, and it was well worth every elbow in the ribs and jostle of the knee.

Animal extremes and Cocktails

Animal extremes were not lost on the Brit Babes as we made our way past the Slug and Lettuce to the Elephant Bar for the Eroticon cocktail party. The conversation was great and the drinks were plentiful. My only problem was that I didn’t get the chance to meet and chat with everyone, but with cramming so many people and so many experiences into a weekend that’s bound to happen.

 Bonding of Bleary eyes and smiling faces

were the norm on Sunday morning with everyone clutched the caffeinated beverage of choice. At every Eroticon so far, Sunday seems to be the day when we’ve all bonded. We’ve shared the experience, made new friends and deepened relationship we already had. By Sunday morning I always feel a sense of real cohesion, and it’s one of my favourite parte of Eroticon. The list of people I’d like to mention is way too long for one blog, but it was a special pleasure to meet the fabulous Vida Baily at long last – even have dinner with her at the Stable. And it was a delight to talk sex and spirituality with the spankalicious Renee Rose.

Kristina Lloyd’s workshop on flash fiction

had us looking at paint chips with names like ‘arsenic’ and ‘blacken’ and playing filthy flash fiction bingo. Sadly I missed the first half of the two-hour class, but was very glad I got to wrap my dirty little mind around a bit of quick and dirty fun. As always, Kristina rocked.

Ear Candy …

…well that’s how I described myself when I sat in as a part of the workshop How to Write a Story from Inspiration to Publication with Kev and Victoria Blisse, Lucy Felthouse, and Kay Jaybee. My part was to read an excerpt from a short story I wrote. I could SO do that. I’m always happy to read. And it was lovely to sit back and enjoy with an occasional expert-ish nod.

High Tea and Readings

If Eroticon 2014 kicked off with a serious talk on censorship, it ended on a playful note with high tea (read cupcakes!) and readings. Harper Eliot put together an amazing schedule of readers, of which I was lucky enough to lead, though not lucky enough to be able to stay and enjoy all of the delectable aural offerings. I did, however, get the chance to enjoy Judith Watts’ fabulously filthy poetry before I had to cut and run for my train.

After three amazing Eroticons in the UK and one in the US, which I have heard nothing but raves about, Ruby Kiddell, you just get more and more amazing! Thank you SO much for all of your hard work throughout the year to put together such a stunning event. You’re the best!

And to everyone I shared the experience with, the pleasure was very truly mine! I was inspired and encouraged in a hundred different ways. Thanks!

Eroticon 2013: Community, Creativity and Fun

75526_10151629778475561_1361237413_nWriters write in solitude. That’s one of the pleasures as well as one of the hazards of the job. We need other people. We need interaction, but because writers tend to be introverts, extroverted events can be both tremendously exhilarating and totally exhausting. I’m writing this post somewhere in between the two. I’ve been basking in the afterglow of Eroticon 2013 all day, looking at all the lovely tweets and posts, reading the blogs and remembering, and reflecting, and analysing. I’ve nabbed photos from Lucy Felthouse and Victoria Blisse, and I’ve now downloaded my own, which gave me another chance to relive the amazing event. It gave me another opportunity to marvel at the organisational skills of Ruby Kiddell, which absolutely border on genius. It gave me another opportunity to be astounded by Harper Eliot’s ability to hold up under stress with finesse and grace and still pull off a stunning evening of aural sex when things didn’t quite go to plan for the readings! Hats off to both of you! You rock!

481675_10151629778870561_42965464_nAs always, I didn’t get nearly to all of the courses I’d wanted to. That wasn’t just because there were too many delicious offerings happening at once. It was also because there were times when I was torn between attending the courses and continuing with a conversation in the meeting room with someone I knew full well I wouldn’t see again for another year, if not longer. The courses were fabulous. For every one I attended, there were two more I’d like to have attended. Though I have to admit for me, who quake at the very thought of writing a poem, Ashley Lister’s poetry workshop was the highlight. Remittance Girl’s fascinating talk on eroticism and romanticism was also amazing and has given me food for thought for a long time to come.

Teaching a writing workshop for the first time ever, and on the afternoon of the last day, meant that I spent a good part of my weekend trying not to angst too much about how I’d manage to convey what I live with and love passionately to a roomful of people I knew  all had their own passionate love for writing. I needn’t have worried. I was in good company, company that completely understood where I was coming from and were eager to participate. I came away feeling like I’d gained far more than I’d given.

I had the chance to spend a quiet hour talking to, Hazel Cushion, the MD of Xcite Press. I had the chance to finally meet the amazing Suzanne Noble in person. I had a chance to spend time with Janine Ashbless, Kristina Lloyd, and Rachel Kramer Bussel. I chatted with Maxim Jakubowski. I had a chance to finally meet Anonymous Lily. I had my picture taken by the fabulous Mario Cacciottolo for his ‘Someone Once Told Me’ project, while I shared my adventures in Lapovo with him. I know for every person I’ve mentioned I’ve left out six. And every one of them made me feel richer and deeper.

I won’t lie. I came to Eroticon 2013 for the community. That’s what I came for last year and that’s what I’ll come back for next year. And I SO wasn’t disappointed! On Friday night for the ‘pre-game show,’ I had the pleasure of a fabulous ladies night out filled with burlesque at Volupte. I was in the company of Kay Jaybee, Lucy Felthouse, Victoria Blisse, Lily Harlem, Lexie Bay and Tabitha Rayne. At Volupte, we caught up with Delores Deluxe, the fabulous Kittens of the Kitten Club, along with the totally yummy Dave, the Bear. There 481188_10151629777860561_1576819210_nwas dinner and laughing and cocktails and planning and scheming and catching up.

Last year at Eroticon, Lucy Felthouse, Lily Harlem, Victoria Blisse and I spent a late night after Eroticon at the hotel bar dreaming and scheming what became The Seven Deadly Sins anthology, published in December. This year as we all sat in the hotel bar with the welcome addition of Lexie Bay and Tabitha Rayne, Lily surprised us all by producing a scrap of paper from her notebook. It was the same scrap of paper on which we had schemed The Seven Deadly Sins a year ago! I don’t mind saying my heart did a little flutter dance at the thought of the rich well-textured, beautifully vulnerable, outrageously funny moments that had led to those scribbles on that piece of paper.

The depth of the creativity and the sense of community I feel with my old friends in erotica, whom I can never get enough of, and with those that I’ve just met that I feel like I’ve known all of my life still astounds me. There’s a sense of celebration of what the last year has brought about linked to anticipation of what the future holds. It’s all about community for me, about who we all are together and separately, about what we all can offer up to each other and what we all receive in abundance by being a part of something so vibrant and so hope-filled. There’s also a wonderful sense of permission granted, a sense of encouragement offered, a sense of ‘well, go on then. Just go do it. You know you want to, and we all know you can.’

I came away feeling more than myself on the one hand and more deeply myself on the other. I came away anticipating what I’ll create between now and Eroticon 2014 and what we all will create, because looking back at this weekend, how could what comes from it be anything less than stunning?

Finessing Sex at Eroticon 2013



This time next month I’ll be enjoying Eroticon 2013. I’ll be partaking of the feast of workshops on blogging, writing, publishing, photography, art,  sex education, and more. I’ll be taking advantage of opportunities for networking and meeting new people. I’ll be enjoying and participating in readings by erotica authors. I’ll be getting to know in person people I’ve chatted with online. And just like last year, no doubt, there’ll be lots of dreaming and scheming and just flat-out fun. I’m looking forward to seeing more than a few of you there.

I have to admit my knees get a little shaky and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about Eroticon 2013 because this year, there’s a delicious list of creative writing workshops offered over the two-day period. There’ll be workshops taught by some of my heroes in the erotica writing world – Kristina Lloyd, Remittance Girl, Vena Ramphal, and Ashley Lister. I’m very much looking forward to the opportunity to learn from the best.

So why the butterflies and nerves? Well, because this year I’ve been asked to teach one of the five creative writing workshops at Eroticon! It’s a first for me. I’ve never actually taught a writing workshop before, and I’m very excited to have been asked. And to be asked to do so in such excellent and exalted company is definitely an honour.

Everyone who knows me and reads my books or my blog (hopefully both) knows that the only time I’m not talking or thinking about writing is writing image 2when I’m sleeping, and then I’m often dreaming about it. Yup, I’m a bit obsessive, and to say I’m enthusiastic about it would be an understatement. I hope to bring some of that enthusiasm for sexy stories into my workshop.

My workshop is called Finessing Sex and, while it’s aimed at giving newbies a foot-up in writing and selling erotica, I like to think that everyone can benefit from another peek at the basics — I know I always do. So there’ll be a little something for everyone.

Finessing sex will take writers beyond the slang of the old ‘in and out’ and beyond the biology of coitus to the other levels within the story and the characters where sex takes place. I hope it will show how well-written sex shapes the story and the characters. The session will involve some writing, some brainstorming and hopefully a whole lot of fun.

I also hope to talk a little about how to best make sure one’s story gets and holds the attention of an editor and how to deal with the inevitable rejections that litter the route to those first sales.

For me, writing has always been about fun. I can’t remember a time when it hasn’t been one of the best parts of my life. But finessing that writing, finessing the sex and the story that goes with it is where the real fun begins, and I hope to share the fun on Sunday March 3rd at 2:15 pm.

Eroticon speaker badge pinkPlease join me for  Eroticon 2013!

Get your tickets here:

Eroticon 2013:

Date and Venue:

Saturday 2nd & Sunday 3rd March 2013 which will be held at the Coin Street Conference Centre, 108 Stamford Street, SE1 9NH



Eroticon 2013 Double the Fun, Double the Experience

Eroticon 2013 image320924_325293390909026_2122801621_nKD: I’m so excited! The second annual Eroticon is coming up soon! This year it’ll be in London, and this year it’ll be twice the fun because it’s two days instead of one – March 2-3. Make sure you have those dates down. I elbowed my way right in to make sure I had the chance to interview the founder, and the heart and soul of Eroticon, the astounding Ruby Kiddell! Welcome, Ruby! It’s lovely to have you here again.

Other than the double the fun, can you tell us what major differences people can expect at this year’s Eroticon?

RK: Hi KD, thank you for having me here again to talk about Eroticon, two days, I must be mad, but you all wanted more so you’re getting more!

The main difference this year is a greater breadth of content to include sex education, sex work, pornography and to hear voices from different communities.

I also wanted to have a very strong creative core for the conference, so this year there are five creative writing sessions and two photography sessions.

KD: Is there anything about this year’s Eroticon that you’re particularly excited about?

RK: I am very proud to have extended our relationship with the sexual health charity Brook to have them as our charity of the year.  They will be presenting the opening plenary and will have staff on hand to talk with delegates about their work and how people can support it via their blogs and in their communities and a donation of £2 from every ticket sale will be going to the charity.

KD: Ruby, I asked this question last year, but I know my readers will want to know, what exactly inspired Eroticon? And could you give us a brief history of that spark of inspiration until now, especially after last year’s phenomenal success.

RK: Eroticon was originally inspired by Cybermummy, a conference for parent bloggers founded by Sian To (@geekisnewchic) I knew that Molly (@mollysdailykiss) was going along with a few other bloggers who wrote erotica or had adult orientated blogs as well as family blogs. I just put those two ideas together and felt that there needed to be an event where people could come and discuss the craft of writing and blogging without fearing judgment of their content.

KD: With one Eroticon under your belt and the second one promising to be even more fabulous, what lessons have you learned? What will you NOT do again, and what is a definite MORE, PLEASE?

RK: The main thing I try to focus on is delivery great content.  It is nice to have a fantastic venue and interesting sponsors, but to create an event that people want to come back to year after year requires delivering outstanding content from inspirational speakers.

Future plans include Eroticon USA as well as looking at doing shorter regional workshop days and perhaps some retreats.

KD: Ruby, I know you keep your finger on the pulse of what’s happening in the blogging world as well as the sex writing world, fictional and otherwise, what major changes have you noticed, if any, since last year?

RK: Ah you flatter me, I like it! There has been a massive surge of interest in erotica and sex toys over the last year due to the success of Fifty Shades of Grey and a lot of products lines and imprints have been launched to ride that wave and to reach out to the “new” mainstream audience.

Companies have reached out to bloggers in other communities to review sex toys and books which has been great for people feeling more comfortable about writing and talking about sex.

The avant guarde have also responded with new independent presses being launched with a focus on literary fiction.

In the next year or so I think we’re going to see more adult companies investing in blogger outreach which means sex bloggers are going to have to become more aware of legal issues around advertising and promotions.

I think we’re going to see G+ become increasingly important as a social network and marketing tool.  I’m already looking at how we can integrate G+ into the delivery of conference content.  If you’re on G+ you can find the Eroticon page here > https://plus.google.com/b/114786608373042130890/114786608373042130890/posts

KD: I hate to ask, but I feel like I have to under the circumstances, what effect, if any, has the meteoric success of Fifty Shades of Grey had on the planning and scheming of Eroticon 2013?

RK: In some ways Eroticon is immune to it, last year Eroticon 2012 happened just before Fifty Shades really impacted in the UK and by this March the fuss will have mostly passed.  It has made it easier to talk to mainstream publishers about the conference however their eye is on the mainstream audience of readers rather on those of us that already know how brilliant and fun erotica is.

KD: What surprised you most about the response to Eroticon 2012?

RK: That people felt such a powerful sense of belonging and ownership of the conference. I had worried I’d invented the need for it and no-one would turn up or that people would come and not enjoy it.  Fortunately the response was overwhelming and that proved that there is a need for this event, which was very humbling.

KD: What do people who are interested in participating in Eroticon 2013 need to do, and what can they expect?

RK: If people want to come, they need to buy a ticket.  Day tickets are £90 and weekend tickets are £150, this includes all refreshments and lunch.

The venue is a closed venue which we have to ourselves for the full weekend, this is to protect those that wish to attend anonymously and it means we can relax and be ourselves.

They can expect an amazing weekend of inspiration and fun.  It will be hectic, challenging and exhausting. There will also be sex toys!

Head over here to register > http://writesexright.com/eroticon-2013/registration/

The schedule is here > http://writesexright.com/eroticon-2013/eroticon-schedule/

If anyone has any questions about tickets or the conference they can email me at info@writesexright.com

KD: Anything else you’d like to add.

RK: Only my thanks for having me to visit again and that I’m looking forward to seeing you and all the other Eroticon-ers in March!

KD: Thanks so much for stopping by, Ruby. Always a pleasure to have you. I’m very much looking forward to Eroticon 2013, and for anyone who doesn’t yet have tickets, you know what to do. See you there!