Tag Archives: anthology

The Best Time!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly been waiting for the Best! The Best of Kay Jaybee, that is. And now the waiting is over. The Queen of BDSM herself, is here to tell us all about her new release.

I can’t quite believe how much has happened in the last few months! A new novel (Making Him Wait, Sweetmeats Press), a re-launched book (The Collector, Austin & Macauley), and now The Best of Kay Jaybee is out- A collection of my very own- I can’t quite believe it!!

It’s all SO exciting!!!

The wondrous KD has invited me along today to give you a tasty taster of one of the fourteen stories- here’s the blurb to start with!

Fourteen of the very best erotic tales of dominance, submission, bondage, and romantic lust, are delivered with lashings of kink from the pen of Kay Jaybee. From the sexual adventures recalled by a woman as she stares at her favourite shirt, to a deliciously dirty orgy on a bed of cardboard boxes, the after-hours education of a rookie soldier, and the bizarre obsession of an Egyptologist, each story shows why Kay Jaybee has been hailed as ‘a master of the craft of erotica’ (Oysters and Chocolate). As a girl writes messages of lust on the body of her best friend’s lover, and a mistress’s employment of ropes and chains on her slave co-insides with the application of emulsion, we discover just how Kay has earned her reputation for producing ‘super-heated kinky stories,’ (Kd Grace), which are ‘a sublime pleasure to read’ (Violet Blue). 

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So which of the fourteen tales do I share with you? A touch of erotic romance, a threesome, some BDSM kink…? Decisions decisions…

How about some museum erotica…Egyptology department I think…

Bastet

Before he got the job behind the scenes at the museum, he had imagined that the place would be dusty, dark and perhaps, considering the contents of the room, eerie. This was not the case.

These carefully collected items had finished their time amongst the dust and now lived in a spotless, sanitised environment. The lighting was just bright enough to be able to work by, yet not bright enough to damage the precious remains. There were only two things that he found mildly uncomfortable about the working conditions; the first was the temperature, a constant tepid, which was too hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter. The second was his boss.

He was aware that she often watched him. If they’d worked anywhere else, then perhaps he would have been worried about what their colleagues would think, but here it was just the two of them. Just him, his boss, an open stone sarcophagus, two mummies in the final preparations of being made ready for display, several priceless bronze statutes, some chipped but irreplaceable Canopic jars, and drawer after drawer of miniature Egyptian statues; votive offerings to the Ancient dead.

There was something very cat-like about his senior colleague. She was as tall as he was, slim, but with a hardness about her; she had slick black hair, which swung from side to side as her feline body moved around the room. No, that was wrong, she didn’t move, she slunk, she glided. Her eyes, a brilliant green, were wide, shiny, and always accentuated by heavy black kohl. At first he’d wondered if she used false colour contacts, but had a feeling she probably didn’t. Perhaps she’d always been like this, or maybe ten years amongst Egyptian paraphernalia had turned her into a living representation of the cats that ancient race venerated so highly.

He shook himself out of his thoughts, and concentrated on carefully revealing the latest object to be leant to the museum for the forthcoming ‘Ancient Death’ exhibition, before he could head home. A mountain of polystyrene chips quickly removed, he donned a pair of thin medical gloves to pull out the hidden contents of the crate.

As he bent to put his hands carefully around the unknown item, he could feel her behind him. She never made any noise when she moved, but he knew that she was there by the warm breath that now tickled the back of his neck. Ignoring her, and the rather confusing and frustrating semi-aroused state her presence seemed to keep him in, he carefully uncovered the muslin clothes that provided the exhibit’s final layer of protection.

They both gasped in wonder as he revealed the beautiful treasure that lay before them. Carved from wood, its paint faded, but not gone, a death mask stared back at them. He’d never seen anything like it, for it was not the mask of a boy or a man, but of a cat. Human sized, the mask represented the cat goddess, Bastet.

His boss stretched out a thin-gloved hand and stroked the mask with a single finger, before sliding her body in front of his. Audibly holding her breath, she took a firm hold of the artefact with both hands and heaved, releasing it fully from the travelling box. It was perfect. Light but sturdy, its back strap complete, a priceless tribute to a forgotten goddess.

Despite knowing a great deal about Ancient Egypt, but for the fact that cats were sacred to them, he knew few details about their feline obsession. His boss, her chest visibly heaving beneath her black, skin-tight top, began to whisper in awe, half talking to him, half to the mask itself.

‘I’ve seen smaller versions of these in bronze, and I know that wooden cat coffins were regularly made, many hundreds were found at Bubastis, the biggest centre of cat worship, but I’ve never seen …’ Her husky voice trailed off and her eyes sparkled. This object, this rare find was actually turning her on; he could see her nipples poke out and harden beneath her top as she handled the rare find.

Even before she did it, he knew what was going to happen next. He turned so he could watch her as, with an uncharacteristic disregard for preservation, she placed the mask over her head, trapping her sleek hair beneath its wooden strap. Dropping to her knees, she purred around his feet, rubbing her arched back against his legs as if she was a cat showing affection.

His mouth went dry. Common sense told him that the situation was insane, but curiosity and the erection that dug against the side of his trousers, told him that he needed to see what she’d do next.

She stood and, from beneath the mask, commanded him to remain exactly where he was. He didn’t move as she prowled over to the large cupboard at the back of the room.

When she reappeared a few moments later, she was naked but for the mask. Gulping at the sight of the firm flesh about which he’d often fantasized he stared. She seemed to glow as she stalked towards him, her prey, every inch the cat goddess. The living Bastet.

He felt clumsy, unworthy and, at a signal from his boss, he knelt before her, humbled and wanting. It no longer felt mad, just incredibly sexy.

She circled around him three times, muttering words he didn’t understand, his eyes following her, his lips now moist, hungry to feast on this extraordinary figure.

‘Follow,’ she commanded as she walked away from him, towards the large wooden table they used to examine, preserve and analyse the historical artefacts that came their way. He went to stand, but a sharp gesture from her hand made it clear that he was supposed to crawl after her.

This was so new to him; he’d never subjugated himself before a woman, before anyone. It felt strange, suffocating, and belittling, yet at the same time, oddly liberating, as if the pressure of taking control and ensuring the woman’s pleasure had been lifted from his shoulders.

He reached the area of the polished tile floor by the table and waited, subservient. She crouched down and tilted his head up with a single finger so he could observe her. Her bronzed skin shone with a gloss that radiated under the artificial lights. Her hands, their slim fingers topped off with turquoise nail varnish, began to fondle her breasts and caress her torso, stopping short of her neatly trimmed pussy hair, she teased herself as well as her waiting slave.

With an effort, made plain by the whimper the mask failed to hide, she halted her self-stimulation and placed her hands on her hips. ‘Dog, you will serve me.’

Dog? He was a dog? It hadn’t occurred to him, but surely dogs had been powerful gods in Egypt as well, Anubis for example. Then he remembered, even the God of the Dead could not harm a living cat. For a split second he decided he didn’t want to play her bizarre game anymore, but then she changed his mind…

If you fancy finding out what happens next, or seeing what other stories are buried in the e-pages of The Best of Kay Jaybee, then you can buy it on Amazon UK and Amazon US.

Amazon UK

Amazon US

You can find further details of this anthology, and all my other novels, novellas, and story collections at my web site- www.kayjaybee.me.uk

A huge thank you to KD for inviting me to her superb site!

Kay xxx

 

Erotic End to October with Smut and Magic and Velvet Tongue

Smut and Magic Rocks!

Partying with the Sh! Ladiez is always fun, and never more so than when it’s a launch party. A launch party at Sh! is always the best, and never better than when it’s a shared launch party! That means Smut and Magic pushed all my buttons for a fabulous evening in London.

I had the honour of sharing this launch party with very talented Smutters, Victoria Blisse and Lucy Felthouse, who were launching their naughty new anthology, Smut in the City, co-edited by these two lovelies, and filled with stories about, well, smut in the city, any city, lots of cities, lots of sexy nastiness written by lots of the very best and hottest erotica authors. Wow, what an anthology! And one I was very excited to share the celebration with.

The party was perfectly timed for me as well. I was the ‘magic’ part of Smut and Magic – well not me per se, but my new novel, Riding the Ether, book two of the Lakeland Heatwave Trilogy and the continuation of the sexy battle of the Elemental Coven against a very nasty, very bad-ass demon, Deacon. And all this just four days before Halloween!

There was the usual combination of fun, filth and fizz. And might I add food, in the form of delectable sweet treats furnished by Lucy’s OH, Ian Hanes, and the Queen of Multi-tasking, Victoria Blisse! There was yumminess on every level!

Of course it wouldn’t be a party without some seriously cool giveaways, some by The House of Erotica, some by each of the authors. The Sh! Ladiez, led by the fabulous Jo, passed out balloons containing a raffle for  one of Sh!’s much-coveted goodie baskets.

When Sh! closed, the party spilled out on the street and over to the basement of the local Byron, accompanied by three of my favourite stunning stars of erotica, Remittance Girl, Kay Jaybee, and Lexie Bay. You can probably guess the topic of discussion. It’s what you’d expect writers to talk about; what makes a good story, what captures the reader’s heart. Of course with the 50SoG phenomenon, these are questions everyone is asking. Times for erotica writers, and for all writers, are changing rapidly. Exciting stuff.

The conversation continued into the wee hours, and once again, I was reminded how lucky I am to be in the company of such a supportive, such an amazing writing community. A special thanks to Lucy and Victoria who made the evening thrice as fun. And that’s a whole lot of fun!

Velvet Tongue pre-Halloween Soiree

As most of you know, I’ve been very much looking forward to reading for Ernesto Serazele’s fabulous Velvet Tongue Erotic Literary Soiree. With it’s pre-Halloween theme it was the perfect setting for me to read about witches and ghosts and demons and sex magic. Shoreditch is such an exciting area of London, and only a few blocks away from Sh! Women’s Store, is the fabulous Bar Kick, where you can get a mean hamburger, play foosball, and once a quarter down in the basement, you can hear naughty poetry, prose, see sexy performances and if you’re lucky see someone get their kit off while they offer you the best in performance poetry.

Rubyyy Jones

 

It was London in the end of October, so naturally the night of the performance it was pouring down rain. We arrived early, wondering if the horrendous weather would put off any of the people planning to attend.

Ernesto Sarezale

We needn’t have worried. By the time Ernesto got the evening under way, the place was packed out, some people dressed as devils and as naughty school girls, some people dressed for fast clothing removal. Me, I was disguised as a mild-mannered American tourist out with her hubby  for a taste of London night life … You don’t believe me??? Well, neither did anyone else …

S. P. Howarth

In addition to some amazing open mic participation, I was lucky enough to share the stage with Anthony Howell, Ernesto Sarezale , S. P. Howarth, and Rubyyy Jones, with a bawdy appearance by Ant Smith.

Ernesto and S.P Howarth both got their kit off while reading fabulous poetry. Of course I hardly noticed the removal of said kit because their poetry was so stunning … You don’t believe me??? Neither did anyone else … Seriously though! Wow! Stunning … poetry!

Demon possession? Or did I just forget where I put my drink?

The best part of the whole evening was just being in a place with so many people who were celebrating sex and all things erotic. That’s definitely my kind of company. Thanks, Ernesto, for inviting me to read. It was truly a fantastic experience. (Thanks Ant Smith and Ernesto for the photos! )

Passionate Partners: Smut the Blisse/Mitnik Way

I’m so excited to kick off my new Passionate Partners series on A Hopeful Romantic. Maybe more than any other question, we erotic authors are asked how our partners feel about our writing. When sex is our chosen subject it’s no surprise that people want to know how that effects the dynamic of our most personal relationships. Most of you know that my lovely hubby, Raymond is my number one fan and supporter, and that I couldn’t manage half of what I do without his help and support. But there are lots of passionate partners out there, who help us erotic authors and cheer us on in many different ways.

One of the couples I’ve come to know personally and admire deeply is the fabulous team of Victoria Blisse and Kevin Mitnik. It’s my pleasure to interview them as my first Passionate Partners. They’ve joined me on A Hopeful Romantic to give us a little peek into their passionate partnership.

Kevin Mitnik is a Husband, Father, Evertonian, Manic Depressive, Whovian, Geek and Award-Winning Web Designer. His Plugins, Hacks, Mods, Styles, Skins and Addons for vBulletin, WordPress, MercuryBoard, PHPBB and other Scripts have won various awards and nominations.

His Erotic Community JustErotica won a Community Webbie, and the original design for Victoria Blisse won an Innovationz Webbie. He now divides his time between helping his Wife with her Projects and tending to his Kingdom in The Settlers Online.

Learn more at Mitnik22.co.uk

Victoria Blisse is a mother, wife, Christian, Manchester United fan and award winning erotica author. She is also the editor of several Bigger Briefs collections, Smut by the Sea and Smut in the City.

She is equally at home behind a laptop or a cooker and she loves to create stories, poems, cakes and biscuits that make people happy. She was born near Manchester, England and her northern English quirkiness shows through in all of her stories. Passion, love and laughter fill her works, just as they fill her busy life.

Find out more at http://victoriablisse.co.uk or follow and friend Victoria: http://twitter.com/victoriablisse http://facebook.com/victoriablisse

Victoria and Kevin have been married for 12 years and met online 15 years ago back before it was all the rage to do so! They work together at blisseuk.com on various author promotions such as Blisse Kisses, Blissemas and more.

KD: Victoria and Kevin, I consider the two of you an amazing team when it comes to supporting each other and promoting the celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did the journey begin, and has it always been a team effort?

Victoria: It’s all Kevin’s fault in the first place! I had a dream one night, a sexy dream, and it wouldn’t leave me alone so Kev said to write it down. I did, and he thought it was good so he told me to post it at literotica.com for people to read and again, I did. I got great feedback and I’ve been writing ever since!

Kevin: Really it started as Victoria’s writing but I was always behind the scenes, helping with editing and putting together and running her website. As time went by we’ve expanded into promotions for other authors as there seemed to be a gap in the market for a bit of Blisse and now we both put a lot of time and effort into running different events like the Sunday Snog every week and Blissemas in December.

KD: Victoria, what does Kevin do to help your writing career that you appreciate more than anything else?

Victoria: It’s the support and encouragement. He does everything from listening to me read out my stories and helping me edit them to letting me go all around the country to attend book signings and conferences to further my career. He even cooks, cleans and looks after the daughter if I have a deadline I’ve got to work to! He never ever falters in his support of me and my writing and I love that.

KD: Kevin, what, so far (knowing that there are lots more such moments ahead) has been the moment in Victoria’s career when you’ve been the most proud of her?

Kevin: There’s been a few but I guess it would be when I went with Victoria to Erotica last year and I saw her standing up and reading in front of a crowd, answering questions and being so confident with all those strangers. She was so professional and I was proud to be there with my famous author wife!

KD:  What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through erotica?

Kevin: That would probably be Erotica again with the adult babies, the tight pants, the corsets and the sexuality on show.

Victoria: And meeting all those strange authorly types in the flesh. All as mad as hatters you know!

Kevin: Just like you.

Victoria: Well, yes. That is probably true.

KD: Hmmm. They sound like my kind of people.

KD: Kevin, you are actually coming into your own as an erotic author too. Has that changed the dynamic of the way the two of you work together?

Kevin: I’ve always written bits and pieces and having Victoria in the industry already it gave me the confidence to submit my story to the Get Off Three Porn stars contest.  I was surprised when I actually won. I’m not planning on a full time erotic writing career as such, I’ll leave that to the wife, but it’s fun to join in with a story of my own now and then.

KD: What’s the hardest part of the Blisse/Mitnik working partnership?

Kevin: Having time to still be a couple between all the writing and website designing and promoting and traveling for readings and whatever. We need more time.

Victoria: I’d say it’s aligning the different ways we work. I am a multi-tasker and a procrastinator and so I don’t always run to time. Kevin is very focused and when he has a task to do his mind will not wander from that even for a minute. Sometimes we frustrate each other just by being ourselves!

KD: What’s the best part?

Kevin: The mutual support.

Victoria: Working with my bestest mate in all the world. And the sex. Though generally that’s not technically a part of the job.

Kevin: But you told me it was!

Victoria: Research Dear, Research!

KD: I happen to know that the two of you are committed to the celebration of sexuality and erotica in a much larger way than just to writing. In fact, you two are the master minds behind an event I’m certainly looking forward to next June, Smut By the Sea in Scarborough. Now that’s a huge team effort. Tell us a bit about it.

Victoria: Smut by the Sea is a daylong event on the 22nd June 2013 to celebrate all things kinky and erotic including writing. Especially the anthologies of the same name.

Kevin: It’ll be at Scarbrough Library and the day event is free for people wander in, listen to some readings, browse the erotic market and have a brew. The evening will be a swanky book launch with readings from the Smut by the Sea anthologies and a chance to get your books signed! This will be £10 on the night or you can get yourself an earlybird ticket for just £5 right now: http://smutbythesea.eventbrite.co.uk/

Victoria: And all the info is up at http://smutbythesea.co.uk as we get more details they will go up on the website. The event is still in the planning stages and loads more fun and sexiness will be added to it by the time June comes around!

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to make that strange and wonderful relationship between erotica writers and their partners run smoother?

Kevin: Honesty. You have to be open with one another about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Also Support is really important, sometimes there are going to be rejections and fussy editors you need to be there to give solace when needed and reassurance and encourage them to continue.

Victoria: I’d say communication is really important. Like I need to let Kevin know when I have deadlines so he realises I’m not avoiding him, I’m just busy. I need to know when Kevin has websites to finish or covers to make so that I can give him the time and space he needs to do that. Being able to give constructive criticism is good too. I know when Kevin tells me to change something in a story it’s not because he’s being a pain in the bum it’s because he wants it to be the best it can be. Same goes for me suggesting a different font or colour on a page or a cover Kevin is designing. We urge each other to be the best we can be.

KD: Besides Smut By The Sea, what future plans for Blisse/Mitnik?

Victoria: We Have Smut and Magic on the 27th October at Sh! Womenstore in Hoxton, London. This is a joint event with your good self, KD, and will be great fun as we are providing the Smut with Lucy Felthouse and you’re bringing the magic with Riding the Ether. This is the first Smut in the City event and I know it’s going to be great. For more details check: http:// http://smutinthecity.co.uk/

Kevin: And we have plans for more Smut events in future. This is just the start of our smutty journey!

Victoria: Oh and of course there is Blissemas which we will both be running in December. One lucky winner will receive a kindle fire! For details check: http://blissemas.co.uk

Kevin: And there might be something a little cheeky and blisseful for Eastertime next year too! Look out for the Blisse Bunnies in the new year!

KD: Wow! It’s amazing what a little teamwork can do. You two are phenomenal! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing a few of the secrets of Passionate Partners. I’ll see you both in London for Smut and Magic!

 

 

Autumn Heat

Happy Autumn, everyone! And wow if it isn’t shaping up to be an exciting one on the erotica and Romance front.

Freebies

To celebrate the upcoming launch of Riding the Ether, book two of my paranormal erotic Lakeland Heatwave trilogy, book one, Body Temperature and Rising is now FREE for a limited time on Amazon UK Kindle (hopefully it’ll be on US Kindle soon) and on iTunes! BTR has been very well received and was on Violet Blue’s honourable mentions list of Top Twelve Sex Books 2011, and the only novel on the list! Now’s your chance to see what the sex magic is all about. (follow the buy-links on the above link for both)

The Gift, the first volume of the trilogy edition of my novel, The Pet Shop is available free on Kindle through tomorrow, so grab your free naughty Pet while you can.

Events:

October is chock-a-block with steamy events to chase away that autumn chill, so get out your diary and make a note.

The Guildford Book Festival:

For the first time ever, erotica is a part of the Guildford Book Festival, and I’m very honoured to be included in this historic first! It all kicks off on Wednesday October 24th.

The fabulous Della Galton will teach a workshop on how to write erotica from 2-4 pm. Then on Wednesday evening I’ll be on the panel called 50 Erotica! More than the Bare Facts (wonder where they got that title???) I’ll be in the very best company with Xcite Book’s MD, Hazel Cushion, author and editor, Liz Coldwell, and Della Galton. If that’s not exciting enough, the lovely Jane Wenham-Jones will chair the panel.

Smut and Magic

The event I’ve been waiting for since February! Smut and Magic is a launch party times three! I’m honoured to be partying with Lucy Felthouse and Victoria Bliss on Saturday October 27th at Sh! Women’s Store. Lucy and Victoria will be launching Smut in the City, the fabulous new anthology they schemed, dreamed and co-edited. I’ve seen the list of writers included, and all I can say is WOW! A must read!

Smut In The City will be accompanied by Sex Magic in the Lake District, as I launch book two of my Lakeland Heatwave Trilogy, Riding the Ether. I know from experience that Lucy and Victoria know how to party, and the Ladiez at Sh! — well that goes without saying. There’ll be fun, fizz, filth and magic. Be sure to put it in your diary and come party with us.

That’s 27th October

Sh! Women’s Store 6:30- 900pm

The Velvet Tongue, London’s Erotic Literary Soirée

Well, you know me. I don’t want to go home when the party is just getting started, so I’ll be taking Riding the Ether and Lakeland sex magic across the street to visit Ernesto Sarezale at Bar Kick for Velvet Tongue’s, pre-Halloween Autumn Edition on Monday the 29th of October.

I’m so excited to be Ernesto’s guest, and even more excited about the fabulous line-up. I’ll be sharing the stage with poet, S.P. Haworth, and there’ll be special appearances by Rubyy Jones and Itzi Urrutia. There’ll also be an open mic, and other surprises, so I’m expecting to be well-titillated. Come join the fun, and you will be too!

That’s 29th October

7-10:30 at Bar Kick

New Releases

I’ve had my head down writing hard all summer, and it’s paying off. I’m so excited to have two new novels launching this autumn.

Riding the Ether

Book Two of The Lakeland Heatwave Trilogy will launch 27th October. I’m very excited to continue the sexy, magical and dangerous adventures of the Elemental Coven.

Blurb:

Cassandra Larkin keeps her ravenous and dangerous sexual appetite secret until she seduces Anderson in the mysterious void of the Ether. Anderson is the sexy, insatiable ghost who can give her exactly what she needs and come to no harm. But no matter how steamy it is, sex in a dangerous place like the Ether is asking for trouble. When the treacherous demon, Deacon, discovers the truth about the origin of Cassandra’s powerful lust, he plots to use her sex magic for his long awaited vengeance on Tara Stone and the Elemental Coven, who practice their own powerful brand of sex magic.

Cassandra must embrace the lust and sexuality she fears and learn to use its power. She must stand with Anderson, Tara, and the Elemental Coven against Deacon’s wrath or suffer the loss of friendship, magic and love, all of which she only now dares to believe herself worthy.

An Executive Decision

My lips have been sealed about the exciting things going on with my Grace Marshall romance, An Executive Decision, but all shall be made clear when An Executive Decision, the first novel of The Executive Decision Trilogy, is launched in November. More on that very soon.

Autumn 2012 is shaping up to be VERY hot. In addition to launches, readings and more exciting adventures to be revealed, there’s a line-up of fabulous new guests and intriguing new series on A Hopeful Romantic, so keep your eyes open. The fun is just getting started. I promise enough romantic warmth and erotic heat to keep you hot under the collar clear through winter.

Celebrating Summer Sex Al Fresco

In honour of the summer we almost had here in Britain, I’m going to dedicate my next few blog entries to filthy fun al fresco, K D style. Most of you know me well enough to know the kind of things I like to do in the heat of the summer, and the kind of things that inspire me to write all manner of naughtiness.

Likewise, most of you who know me will recall that my husband and I just got an allotment this year after three long years on the waiting list. Now that the hard work is beginning to pay off and we’re indulging ourselves with runner beans and sweet corn and courgettes and cauliflowers, I thought a little garden porn might be the perfect way to kick off this little celebration of outdoor smut. And why not go straight to the spot, with a little allotment garden porn, from my Sweetmeat Press story, Allotted Views. Who knows, after reading this, you might find you want to put your name on the waiting list for an allotment. Enjoy!

Allotted Views Blurb

When the mysterious ‘Woo Woo Man,’ JONATHAN takes on the thin strip of bramble-infested ground in the Blue Bell Street Allotments, veg gardener extraordinaire, ROSE, whose bedroom window overlooks his ‘small holding,’ wonders what idiot would take on such a project. When she ‘accidentally’ sees him chanting a bit of woo-woo and having a midnight wank under a full moon in his newly rotovated plot, she suspects his methods aren’t found in any RHS manual.

As watching his late night garden antics becomes more for voyeuristic pleasure than for sussing out sound horticultural practices, and as Jonathan’s garden grows more exquisite with every wank, Rose begins to wonder if there just might be something to a little sex woo-woo in the garden. But can she learn Jonathan’s secret without him learning hers, or will she be forced to come clean?

Allotted Views Excerpt

That night I went to bed wondering if I should maybe take up wanking in my own garden. I’m always happy to try the latest horticultural techniques, and often with surprising results, but I must have been really tired to even consider the masturbation method as a valid way of upping garden productivity.

Later, I was awakened by whispers. My heart went into overdrive with a rush of anticipation. I rose and walked on tiptoe to the window to peek out. Sure enough, there was Woo-Woo Man, but this time he wasn’t alone. The woman he was with, for lack of a more fitting term, was voluptuous. If he was woo-woo, she was woo-woo squared. She wore a dark gown with a tightly fitted bodice from which her very ample breasts mounded like large scoops of vanilla ice cream crowded into a small dish. The dress must have been corseted at the waist because it beautifully accentuated hourglass hips and buttocks that looked like they must be completely luscious for her to sit on or for anyone else to fondle. The long skirt swished with a silken hiss teasing its way between her thighs as she walked. There was a mountain of pale curly hair caught up on top of her head in a generous clipping of crystals and feathers. ‘Oh, it’s lovely, Jonathan.’ Her voice was a honey-comb-dipped contralto that I felt down low between my hipbones.

‘Then you’ll do it, My Lady?’ He took her hands in his, raised them reverently to his lips and kissed her pale knuckles. ‘You’ll bless it with me?’

‘Of course I will, Jonathan, darling, of course I will.’ She stood unmoving while Jonathan slid the white poet shirt he now wore off over his head and fumbled his way out of his cargo trousers. It was the way his cock rested unsubstantially drawn up against his balls that told me the man was nervous. But his spiky nipples told me he’d get over it.

With a melodramatic flutter of her long, heavy sleeves, My Lady lifted her arms into the air, and motioned Jonathan to do likewise. Then her voice got even lower as she earnestly entreated the blessing of the earth for the feeding of her children. That done, she held her arms out to each side, palms delicately cupped, facing upward, and nodded her consent, casting a demure glance down the pale valley between her breasts.

With fingers that were visibly shaking, Jonathan undid the tight cup of the bodice and My Lady’s bosom tumbled free just as she was saying something about all of us suckling at nature’s breasts. With one hand, fingers sparkling in sliver spirals of rings, she pulled him to her, first one tit and then the other. Each time he nursed and caressed and slurped her ripe strawberry nipples, she spoke a few words into the silent midnight air. And each time she gave him suck, his cock stretched and expanded and reached for her until it pressed its way into the dark satin folds of her skirt.

Then she stepped back slightly and offered him her hand. With his cock leading the way, he guided her to stand in the middle of the garden between the beans and the brassicas. There she squatted wide legged, and for a second I thought there would be more urea, but instead of peeing, she took a handful of soil, lifted it into the air in front of her and let it fall between her fingers. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but suddenly she stopped speaking, stood and motioned him to her again.

This time he undid the rest of the dress, and it fell around her ankles like a chrysalis being shed, brushing cabbage leaves and bean poles in its fullness. Then with him holding her hand, she stepped free of the dress standing tall and shimmering and completely naked in the muted touch of the sodium streetlight. She was Rubinesque in the most exquisite way. There were no protruding bones, no sharp edges, just soft pillowed curves that begged to be touched and nuzzled and fondled.

I had a lover once who’d made a fortune working in the city. One year, for my birthday, he took me to a very expensive hotel. I remember languishing on a bed mounded with satin pillows of every shape and size. I remember how after too much expensive fizz, he undressed me slowly and settled me into the middle of them all. I felt them against my cheek, hugging the sides of my breasts, sliding feather-soft over my nipples, shoving in between my legs as he removed my panties and arranged me like I was some kind of jewelry displayed on a bed of velvet. I relished their softness and resilience as he carefully positioned them beneath my hips until I gaped before him at the perfect angle for his explorations, at the perfect angle for his mounting. The contrast of his hard thrusts and pants over me and the lush, forgiving caress of the pillows beneath me was sensory overload that sent me into orgasmic bliss. Sadly the man wasn’t nearly as memorable as that delicious mound of pillows.

My Lady was like that. There was no part of her I wouldn’t have loved to pull to me and bury my face in. Almost unconsciously I found myself leaning forward toward her, nearly out the open window. She walked naked amid the ordered rows of tomatoes and carrots. She fondled the long leaves of the sweet corn, stroking them to her breasts, lifting them to her nose and inhaling their scent. She ran bare toes upward along the feathery greens of the carrots like a ballerina, each movement, each interaction making her more desirable, more exquisite in the shadowy light. And yet, Jonathan didn’t touch her, though his erection told me he wanted to badly enough. He simply followed her around with a proprietary step made comic by the bounce of his cock.

At last she turned to him and he nearly ploughed into her. ‘Jonathan, my darling, I offer myself to you for the blessing of this lovely garden.’

When he hesitated, she chuckled softly and ran a hand invitingly down the expansive curve of her hip. ‘Come now, darling, there’s no need to be shy. Our pleasure is a part of the magic.’ She turned her back to him and bent forward so that the lush pillows of her buttocks faced him, faced my window, and I grabbed at the buttons of my night shirt, clawing it free so that my own small breasts could take in the night breeze, so that my pussy rubbed unhindered against the chair I’d left in front of the window after Jonathan’s first worshipful wank – just in case.

‘Don’t be shy,’ she whispered. ‘Just for tonight, I am the goddess, you are my consort, and the great yoni that birthed all things into existence will be honoured by our offering. My pussy is yours until the magic is completed.’ Perhaps it was her sudden use of nasty language in a situation which up until now had seemed rather formal and reverent in spite of the chavish undertones of sneaking a fuck in the allotments after hours. But more than likely it was just the close proximity of her luscious bare arse cushioning said puss. Propriety gave way to lust. I held my breath, and my cunt trembled and clenched as he reached for her.

Allotted Views can be purchased as a stand-alone novella or in the illustrated Immoral Views anthology.

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