Ultimate Gift by Candy Knight

Ultimate GiftBlurb

Ultimate Gift

Elizabeth needs a stiff drink and a hug from her friend after spending six torturous hours in the car with David. On their arrival they meet two stunning guests; the smoking-hot porn star, Suzy, and the dark enigmatic Toby. As the evening progresses inhibitions relax and sexual tensions start to rise. Could this diversion be just what they need to spice up their humdrum marriage or will it go too far?

Dream Surfer

Layne has a passion for impromptu sex in the open air. Her sporting accident prevents her from joining her lover in the surf and he leaves her sunbathing on the secluded beach. As the sun beats down on her near-naked body, her mind starts to drift to the inevitable passion she will share with her lover when he returns cool from the sea to soothe the heat from her body.

Lapping It Up

Married for eighteen years, frustrated housewife Trudy lusts after the passion she once shared with her husband. Recognising that something drastic has to be done, she asks her best friend to help. At first Dawn is flabbergasted by Trudy’s disclosure but agrees to work with her to plan a passionate evening that their husbands will not forget. Will they discover new appetites for their husbands or for each other?

Disciplining Jayne

Jayne fantasises about having sex with a stranger in uniform, just thinking about it makes her hot and wet. She arranges a birthday treat for herself, a night of passion to fulfil her dream. She gives very explicit instructions for the evening’s entertainment. However, her handsome escort has other ideas.

Rumour Has It

The mysterious Kate meets her perfect man when she spills water over his impeccably polished shoes. Tim instantly falls for the striking red-head and spends the nights fulfilling her every need until an unexpected phone call reveals Kate’s secret. Will the revelation rip them apart? Or will lust really overcome?

Unintentional Mistress

Bethany meets Max at a Christmas party and their mutual desire cannot be controlled. Events take an unexpected turn when Bethany discovers that she’s the ‘other women’. She knows that she should walk away, but can she bring herself to leave the sexually-charged Max? Or will she stay and have her heart torn apart?

 

Excerpts

Ultimate Gift

Guy proffered me a black shiny olive on a cocktail stick. I opened my mouth and hooking my tongue around it I plucked it off. He smiled seductively and stabbed another suggestively, this time a green one stuffed with bright red pepper. He held it to his lips and kissed it before popping it into my mouth. I had never perceived that anything so innocent could be so sexually electrifying.

Dream Surfer

I unzipped my too-short shorts and wriggled them down over my hips. I had my bikini pants on underneath, well what there was of them. I couldn’t help thinking that it was a good job my dad couldn’t see me or he would have a fit. I pulled my tight white tee shirt over my head and tossed it to one side.

Lapping It Up

Martin had pushed his chair back from the table and was about to stand up but I went behind him and put my hands on his shoulders. “Stay there”, I commanded. “I have a surprise for you” I murmured, in my best sultry voice.

Disciplining Jayne

She adored men in uniform, any uniform, they made her hot and wet. The Captain smiled lasciviously pushing a room key card along the bar toward her. ‘Room 401. You go up and I will join you in a moment.’

Rumour Has It

Moving his warm hand to my breast he caressed it over the smooth satin of my blouse, pinching my nipple between finger and thumb. I put my arm around his neck and pulled him towards me and slid my other hand up the inside of his thigh. He had long muscular legs that I just couldn’t help wanting to explore.

Unintentional Mistress

He pushed her into the corner of the back seat and parted her legs and ran his hand up the inside of her thigh. The soft skin between stocking and pussy yielded to his touch. Apart from the beautiful dress tightly knotted around her slim waist and hold-up stockings she was completely naked.

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Author Bio

When Candy Knight gets home from work she cannot wait to start typing. Busy wife and mother she enjoys writing sensitive and erotic stories that will make women wet and men hard.

Further inspired by the positive comments and feedback she received whilst attending an erotic/creative writing course she decided to continue to apply what she had learned. Striving to write what she refers to as ‘decent filth’, she is so driven to achieve her erotic writing passion that she has given up two days a week ‘paid’ work in order to follow her dream.

Having self published her first short story, ‘Unintentional Mistress’ on Amazon, she’s excited about writing more erotica. As well as releasing her first anthology ‘Ultimate Gift, Candy has also completed the first of three erotic paranormal voyeur stories from the ‘Flight’ series.

Candy’s work is strictly for adults who want to unwind at the end of the day and get hard and wet. So pour a glass of wine and enjoy this writer’s work.

My Post-ETO Self-Indulgence

1013521_612085342134839_1505935476_nAfter my amazing evening at the ETO Awards in Birmingham, which followed fast on the wild time at Smut by the Sea, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a winner. Though some chick named E.L. James nabbed the Best Erotic Author award at the ceremony, and that right after we had just finished our very phallic, very creamy dessert, Kay Jaybee and I have talked a lot since about how we felt like, ultimately, we came away the winners. First of all it was totally amazing just being nominated for such an award. For a writer to know that her craft is appreciated is a very big deal. And certainly just experiencing the excitement of ETO itself, and dressing up in our party frocks with our blokes on our arms and drinking fizz and feasting with the big names in the erotic industry was a recipe for a great time.

Plus it was wonderful to see so many of the people we admire and care about taking away those shiny trophies and bottles of champagne. These lovely winners were people who have supported us and encouraged us and helped us get where we both are as writers. Plus they were all people who promote the celebration of sex and erotica as a celebration of life itself. Okay, K D, now you’re just sounding soppy! IMG_1058But really, it’s true. It was great to see people who had done so much getting much-deserved recognition for work well-done. In all honesty, there were several categories in which we didn’t know who to cheer for because everyone on the list deserved to win in our eyes. In fact they were all already winners, regardless of who took the trophy home.

Congratulations to Xcite Press for winning Best Erotic Books Brand. Really, that felt almost like winning in itself, since they do such a fab job with our books.

Congratulations to Sh! Womens Erotic Emporium for winning Most innovative Retailer. I’m sure I don’t have to say how much we love the Sh! Ladiez and all that they do. On a list of my heroes, they are pretty damn close to the top.

Congratulations to Lovehoney, who took away the award for Best Online Retailer. No one has done more to promote my novels then Lovehoney, and they are on my love-you-forever list big-time.

Congratulations to Cara Sutra who won Best Erotic Journalist. I love her dearly for her promotion of my work and her encouragement. Plus her blog is fab.

And congratulations to Ms James for changing the playing field for all of us in exciting and interesting ways. We all owe her big-time for that, I figure. So hats off and salute.

And now, with that all in mind, I got to thinking what my award list would look like if I were ETO and I got to vote all the votes and choose all the winners –preferably while enjoying one of those yummy bottles of bubbly, of course. So with that in mind, I’m being a bit silly and self-indulgent and making my own list of winners It’s list that’s much closer to my heart, and it’s only a partial list. If I put all the amazing folks I’ve had the pleasure of associating with because of erotica this post would be endless. But here it is, the First Annual-ish KDO Awards!

IMG-20130623-00010And the winners of the KDO Awards are:Vic and KevSharing-the-Love

*Winners of the Sharing the Love Award are Victoria Blisse & Kevin Mitnik Bliss for their tireless efforts to promote and celebrate erotica and to help other writers do the same. You two are amazing!

Sh! most courageous

*Winners of the Most Courageous and All-Around Lovely People I know Award are, without a doubt, the Sh! Ladiez! I’m in awe at all you do and how you do it in such a sexy, compassionate, fabulous way. Massive hugs to all of you! You are my heroes!

lovehoneygood-golly

*Winners of the Good Golly, Ms Holly’s-in-the-Daily-Mail Award are LoveHoney. I didn’t see that one coming, and my heart still races when I think about it. Thanks for all you fabulous promotion of my work, much of which I don’t even know about as the results come rolling in. You’re the best!

Xcite books you're my pub and your cool

* Winners of the You’re My Publisher and I think You’re Totally Cool Award are Xcite Books for obvious reasons. What a wild and wonderful ride it’s been. Thanks for sharing it with me!

Tabithaloveliest-smile

*Winner of the Loveliest Smile Award has to be Tabitha Rayne. I can’t look at your smile and not feel better, Tabitha. Thanks!

Brit Babesgroup-most-honoured

IMG_1051*Winner of the Group-I’m-Most-Honoured-to-be-Apart-of Award are the Brit Babes. Your support and camaraderie are invaluable to me. Thanks so much for all you do!

Bowness familybest-pet-namers

*Winners of the Best Pet Namers Ever Award without a doubt goes to the fabulous Bowness family. Hope Stella and Tino are staying out of trouble!

remittance girlfrom-both-sides

*Winner of the I’ve Looked at Erotica from Both Sides Now Award is the brilliant and naughty Remittance Girl. Thanks for helping me look at erotica and romance from some seriously new and thought-provoking angles. You’re amazing!

Ashleybest-ode

*Winner of the Best Ode to an Inflatable Doll Award is Ashley Lister. I’m still moved to tears (of laughter) when I think about you delicious tribute to Betty.

Raymondgood-care

*Winner of the Best at Taking Good Care of this Writer Award could be none other than my lovely husband, Raymond Dickey. Volim te mnogo, Slatki!

Rosesexiest-reading-voice

*Winner of the Sexiest Reading Voice I’ve Ever Heard Award goes to the delicious Rose Caraway for her sultry reading of my short story, Pharomones. Your podcasts are totally amazing! YOU are totally amazing, Rose!

Lucyevil-pr-publicist

*Winner of the Best Evil Publicist and PR Person Award could be none other than Lucy Felthouse. EP, what would I ever do without you?

kaypartner-in-crime

*Winner of Best Partner in Crime and Terrible Twin Award is, of course, Kay Jaybee. The writing journey wouldn’t be nearly so much fun without you, Hon.

Sorry, but as much as I’d like to oblige, you lot don’t get a shiny trophy or a bottle of champagne. You don’t even get a cheap can of beer. But what you do get, and already have, is my respect, love and undying gratitude for being endlessly amazing and totally fabulous.

Muah! Muah! Muah! from my virtual podium on my virtual stage as the Self-indulgents — the troupe of virtual dancing girls I’ve hired for the grand finale, twirl their nipple tassels and kick up their heels to bring this years KDO Awards to a thrilling close.  I can hardly wait for next year!

A special thanks to the very fabulous Kevin Mitnik Blisse for creating the gorgeous KDO Awards badges! You’re the best, Kev!

Telling Stories at Smut by the Sea

I’ve been waiting anxiously for Smut by the Sea to happen ever since I first heard the idea mentioned by the fabulous Team Blisse. Victoria and Kevin Mitnik Blisse are always planning and scheming something amazing which is always designed as a win-win experience for all the writers and venders who participate. I love that about them, and I love being involved in Blisse events, not only for that reason, but because they’re so much fun. And Smut by the Sea was no exception!  To Date Smut by the Sea was the biggest event the Blisses have hosted, but knowing Victoria and Kev, today Scarborough, tomorrow the world! And I’ll be the first in line to buy my ticket. Thanks you two! You are the best!

In spite of the tombola, the book stand, the wonderful presence of Crowned Jewels, and FUJ’s fudge that was to die for, the very best part of SBTS, at least for me, was that it was so totally and completely a celebration of erotica. It was a writer-centric celebration of sex on the printed (and  eBook) page, complete with the rowdy, costumed launch of Slave Nano’s novel, Adventures in Fetishland. It didn’t feel like a workshop, because it wasn’t.  There was only one  panel, and that was a how to get published panel, without which no gathering of writers would be complete. It was a panel that resulted in some wonderful discussion from the audience.  What I liked best was that to me, the whole event felt like we were the modern version of the primal gathering around the campfire in front of the clan cave to hear and share the clan stories. If your curious about who all was seated around that SBTS ‘campfire’ check out the list of fab story tellers here.

I was elated that so much of the day was centred around reading – not just because I love to read my work, but because I love to hear the stories that other writers are reading. I’ve loved to be read to since I was a child on my mother’s knee. And I especially love to listen to first-time readers. I love to share their excitement, and I love to be one of the old timers who can encourage them and tell them not to worry it’ll be amazing. I love the looks on their faces when they’ve finished their first ever reading for an audience, the look that always tells me they’re hooked, just like I was, just like every one of us who has stood on that stage is.

For a writer, sharing a story is like breathing. We can’t NOT do it. That’s why we write. And to be able to read it out loud to an audience that’s there specifically to hear our words is like the rich, thick, butter cream icing with sprinkles on the cake. It’s a very physical reminder of why we do what we do. It’s an initiation for new writers and it’s something that those in the audience who are novices anticipate and dread at the same time.

There were three reading panels at Smut by the Sea, each with four readers. Along with Tabitha Rayne, Lucy Felthouse, Victoria Blisse, Ashley Lister, Lexie Bay, Janine Ashbless and myself, there were a good number of first timers, who all totally rocked it, by the way! Rachel Kincaid, Jennifer Denys, Slave Nano, Gemma Parkes, Liv Honeywell, Domitri Xavier and Tilly Hunter. You all were fabulous! And when our burlesque performer, Moorita had to cancel at the last minute because of car problems, the intrepid Victoria Blisse just invited more people to read. We drank wine, ate Victoria’s scrummy homemade cookies, and read and listen to readings. It was another great opportunity for newbies to pop their reading-in-front-of-an-audience cherries. I was in heaven!

In between the readings there was another key component that made SBTS such a fantastic experience, and that was the chance to chat, to share ideas, to meet people face-to-face who we had only ever talked to online before and to discover that they were just as amazing face-to-face as they are on social media. I was particularly pleased to finally meet the lovely Kerry-Ann McDade, who had come all the way from Northern Ireland to be at SBTS.  I knew from her sassy ‘Reading a Little Bit of Everything’ blog.

The other thing writers love to do almost as much as they love reading their work out loud is to talk craft with other writers, and there was a lot of animated talking shop that went on in Scarborough that day.  We talked fears and pleasures, we talked nuts and bolts, we talked failures and successes. We talked works in progress, we talked new and old publishers, we talked self-publishing and self-promoting, we P1000729talked about our characters and about our plots, we talked about what fun it was to be who we are and do what we love most. The celebratory atmosphere was very contagious.

In fact it spilled over into the Black Lion Pub after hours for a lovely buffet and a wild night of karaoke and laughter and just plain silliness. Raymond and I toddled off to bed somewhere around 1:30, but it was a long time before I could finally sleep, as I lay there listen to the gulls and reliving all the fun and camaraderie of the day and thinking about all the lovely people I’d spent time with — not listed here because the list is a long one — and mostly just feeling very happy to have been a part of it all.

The Adventures of Ms Holly Continue

Holly cover FINAL9781907761270_FCIt’s the end of an era in a lot of ways. My firstborn, The Initiation of Ms Holly, has had a wild couple of years in her young life. She’s found her way into the national newspapers, she’s made it onto national television and radio, she’s made it to number one on the Amazon UK paid erotica chart and on the free chart, and she’s in her third printing with Xcite books. Holly has even made her way into public libraries all across the UK!

Holly has done the Coast to Coast walk across England with Raymond and me in a zip lock bag. (We couldn’t find any waterproofs in her size). She’s been to Las Vegas where she was read from at the famous Flamingo hotel. She’s been on the bookshelves in WH Smith stores in airports, train stations and along the motorways. That girl is well travelled! And after such a wild couple of years, a girl just needs a make-over

That’s right, The Initiation of Ms Holly has had a make-over. In fact, Holly has had TWO makeovers.

I loved Holly’s original cover from the very first time I saw it, and I was a bit reluctant when Xcite’s MD, Hazel Cushion told me that Holly was getting a new cover, but I have to admit, I’m not disappointed with the end result.  But Holly never does things by half. Holly gets two new covers. She gets the lovely new one that Xcite Books is giving her here in the UK, and next February, she’ll be getting the fabulous new cover that Sourcebooks is giving her for her new US distribution debut. I’ve already seen that one, but I can’t share it just yet. But let me just say that Holly will look fabulous on both sides of the Pond! It’s like having two sexy new party frocks at once!

theinitiationsofmsholly_front_jpegBut there’s more news for Holly. After a long time on her own, Holly is about to have  a sequel  in The Mount Series, which will be coming out early next year. Remember my exciting outing in Las Vegas this past March? Research, dawlings, research! And I can only say that the Mount Las Vegas is every bit as filthy and full of intrigue as the Mount in London.  I can’t WAIT to start writing!

In the meantime, just to share the celebration – new frock and all,  here’s a little teasing excerpt for you.

Blurb:

Journalist, Rita Holly, never dreamed sex with the mysterious Edward in the dark of a malfunctioning train would lead to a blindfolded, champagne-drenched tango, a spanking by a butch waitress, and an offer of initiation into the exclusive mysteries of The Mount. Desperate to save her threatened job, she agrees, scheming secretly to write an inside exposé on the club that will make her career. But as she delves deeper into the intrigue of The Mount and the lives of its members, she soon discovers that her heart may have other plans.

Excerpt:

She had only just tasted the champagne when a warm body scooted into the booth next to her. She recognize Edward’s scent a split second before his hand cupped her cheek and his mouth covered hers, familiar territory, she thought, as her tongue became reacquainted with his.

‘I hope you don’t mind the blindfold,’ Edward said when he came up for air. He slid warm fingers under the spaghetti straps and caressing her left shoulder. ‘Being in the dark was so much fun last time.’

She ran a hand over his cheek, raking a thumb lightly over a fluttering eyelid. ‘What about you? You’re not wearing a blindfold. That’s hardly fair.’

He chuckled, and she felt his warm breath against her earlobe. ‘I never said I play fair. I was right though. You are exquisite, but I wouldn’t have imagined your hair to be chestnut’ He caressed her tresses, pushing a strand back behind her shoulders to fondle her nape. ‘For some reason I was certain that cascade of silk would be strawberry blonde.’ He ran his other hand up the outside of her thigh, toying with the exposed edge of her garter belt, making her squirm. ‘Guess in some cases, there’s just no substitute for the sense of sight.’

‘But I want to see you too. I want to know what you look like.’

‘You will in good time. That is if you want to play my little game. Of course you could take off the blindfold. I can’t stop you, but admit it, it’s fun not knowing. A bit of an adventure, an initiation almost.’

‘An initiation?’

‘Yeah, you know, at the beginning, when a man and a woman are just getting to know each other, it’s like an initiation, don’t you think?’

‘I never thought of it like that, kind of like a hazing?’

He chuckled. ‘Can be. Could be, if you want it to be.’ He nipped her earlobe, ‘Or maybe like an induction into some secret cult with secret rituals of wild, kinky sex.’

‘Mmm. Sounds good. Where do I sign up?’

Another chuckle. ‘All you have to do is keep the blindfold on until I say you can take it off. Let your other senses do the work.’ His finger slipped beneath the suspender to stroke her thigh, making concentration next to impossible.

‘I’ve always wanted to be a member of a secret sex cult.’ Breathing was becoming more of an effort as his touch became more insistent. ‘Okay then. I’m in. Have your way with me.’

There was a long moment of silence, and for a split second Rita wondered if she had said something wrong, if she been too forward, too quick with her answer. But just when she was about to back track, he leaned in and kissed her softly on the mouth. She could almost hear his heart beating in his words when at last he spoke. ‘Then welcome to your new playground.’ His hand slipped underneath the spaghetti straps to cup her breast and stroke her engorged areola. ‘Expensive dress?’

‘What?’ Intimidation knotted her stomach. ‘Does it matter?’

‘Not really.’ She could hear him filling the champagne flute. ‘I’ll buy you a new one.’ He lifted the glass to her lips. Just as the taste hit her tongue he pulled it away and she felt a cold wet splash over her left breast. She stifled a yelp, but not before his lips clamped down tight on her drenched nipple, and the friction of tongue and teeth on wet silk caused delicious shock waves down her belly all the way to her cunt.

‘You know,’ he said between sucklings, ‘at the command of Louis 15th, the original champagne glass was said to have been shaped like the breasts of his mistress, Madame Pompadour. I can understand why. Once you’ve suckled champagne from a beautiful breast champagne alone, no matter how expensive, isn’t nearly as nice.’

Another cold splash across both breasts and down her cleavage. She gasped and held him to her as he shoved down the spaghetti straps and freed her into his hungry mouth. ‘What if people are watching?’ she whispered.

‘Don’t worry.  I know the owner.’

Another drizzle of fizz, but this time over her belly, dripping down icily against her mound. She squirmed and ground her hips against the seat.

‘Open your legs for me,’ he whispered. ‘There’s one cup even more perfect than Louis’s design.’

*****

And since what happens in Vegas isn’t about to stay in Vegas this time, here’s an eeentsy-weentsy peek at Holly’s sequel.

Fulfilling the Contract:

NICK CHASE’s first-ever blind date ends in disaster, leaving his date in breach of a very strange contract that costs her a huge completion bonus. Feeling guildy for his part in her loss, bleeding-heart Nick gets more than he bargained for when he negotiates to fulfill the contract for her and secure her bonus.

Tough and mysterious ELSA CRANE runs Mount Vegas, which offers voyeuristic pleasures for a price. Nick’s job, with Elsa and her staff, is to give clients something worth seeing. As Nick and Elsa’s relationship sizzles and ignites in ways neither expected things get positively dangerous in this sequel to The Initiation of Ms Holly.

Coming Soon!

Buy The Initiation of Ms Holly here:

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Powell’s
Xcite Books
Lovehoney

eBook

Amazon UK
Amazon US
All Romance eBooks
Waterstone’s
Xcite Books
Barnes & Noble
Kobobooks.com

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner: Chris Unity Bowness’s Contribution to Adult Sex Ed Month

Consenting Adults psp ver1

We often think of sex education in terms of children and teens and rarely acknowledged the need for adult sex education but we are surrounded by the need for it every day from forums, blogs and social media. Adults are constantly looking for advice and discussion on sex and relationships. We all are. Sex is one of those subjects we’re never done with and are always learning and expanding our experiences.

Communication is the key to good sexual relationships, but often it’s something we are not good at – talking about s-e-x. #Adultsexedmonth in June  A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind was set up just for that reason; to help open up the discussion on sex and share experiences and knowledge. The beauty of it is that people don’t have to specifically ask for it. They can just go to the site.

This month I thought I would share my own experiences of a time when I have noticed the need for, not just adult sex ed, but also for sex positivity and that is post pregnancy. Through sharing a little of my own experiences and the shared experiences of women and men in relationships I hope to give a positive voice and some helpful information to those people ready to go back to having sex after childbirth.

Postpartum

It’s important to mention  that medically women are advised to wait 6 weeks after they’ve given birth before they are fully cleared to have sex. However research by Sari van Anders  shows that some women cleared to have sex after 6 weeks still find it very uncomfortable while other women can enjoy some form of sexual pleasure as early as 2 weeks. The part of the research that really struck a chord with me was this:

“Health-care providers often don’t discuss too much about sexuality before that six-week period except to express that women shouldn’t be doing anything penetrative until after that timeframe,” [Sari] van Anders said. “But our data suggest that women are engaging in a host of behaviors and that they have desire.”

Based on my experiences in helping women who are upset and frustrated with their efforts to reintroduce sex post pregnancy, I would take it further to say that beyond medical advice, providers aren’t comfortable promoting information about positive sex and pleasure before or after 6 weeks. Many even wonder why someone would want to even bother with sex now that they’ve had a baby. In one situation I dealt with a woman had been told to slather KY Jelly on, lie back and think of England. Such a response not only perpetuates negative sexual ideas about women and men but also leaves women  feeling demoralised, shamed and negative about their bodies – still without answers.

Men and postpartum reintroduction of sex

How are men viewed in the postpartum  reintroduction of sex in the relationship? From the situations I’ve dealt with and experienced myself there seem to be a couple of prevalent assumptions. Either men are the perpetrators of reintroducing sex or they don’t want to reintroduce sex into the relationship because they’ve seen their partners go through the suffering of childbirth, and their body now seems like hallowed ground not to be touched.

Both assumptions fail to take into account the compassion and empathy of the men involved. From my own experiences and those others have shared with me, it is often the case that while a women may be craving pleasure and intimacy her partner may  be unable to reciprocate, not because he questions her; not because of the visual trauma; not because he’s bothered by how her body looks after pregnancy. He may not be able to reciprocate because having watched his beloved go through pregnancy and all the other post pregnancy stresses he’s worried about how delicate her body may be and he’s trying to empathise with what she’s been through.

Motivations and Methods

According to the research the reasons people do want to go back to having sex are more psychological than physical. There is a need for intimacy and closeness to their partners during what is a stressful time.

Inevitably people will go back to sex after pregnancy whenever they feel ready. Sometimes that happens before six weeks and sometimes after.  It could be 5 days it could be 5 months. Discouraging someone who wants to go back to giving or receiving pleasure, or self-pleasuring before six weeks is giving them poor and negative information, which isn’t doing anyone any good and will only create more upset, frustration and shame. When it comes to reintroducing sex in a relationship postpartum arming people with accurate information, support and advice and encouraging them to have sex when they feel ready is a more positive approach than saying don’t do it yet.

The most important advice I can give to women is to listen to their bodies, take their own time, set their own pace, not just during the time leading to the postpartum return to sex but also during intimacy — whether it be penetrative sex or otherwise. Self pleasure can also be a great way for a woman to reconnect with her body after pregnancy, helping her learn what changes may have occurred but also helping prepare her with things that may happen, such as dryness.

Preparation for having sex again after pregnancy is also an important topic.  Not only is there contraception to plan for but also other issues which may need to be talked through such as lubricant. There are many more available brands than KY Jelly that are plain, unscented and water safe such as Durex and I.D. Lubricants. Planning when to have sex and scheduling time is also really important as things might not go to plan.  While quickie sex can be gentle, fulfilling and keep you connected, after pregnancy making a little more time and space for the reintroduction of sex at a comfortable pace is especially important – and even more so that first time. I tell people that even though it may seem a bit clinical and methodical, taking the time to plan the occasion and the details means that when the hour or so window of opportunity presents itself  the couple will be ready to dive in.

Like all good sex, post pregnancy sex requires good communication, not only during sex but in the preparations for intimacy. A lot of the issues surrounding the re-introduction of sex after pregnancy can be worked through with good communication. Communicating how both partners feel about the reintroduction of sex and when and why can really be the catalyst for closer intimacy.

Find Chris Here:

http://www.multiple-asms.org/