Category Archives: Interviews

Passion from a Distance: Lucy Felthouse and Ian H

KD: It’s my pleasure to introduce the second in my series of Passionate Partners. For those of you who missed out on the first instalment, Passionate Partners is a series to celebrate erotica writers and their partners who, may help them quietly behind the scenes or a little more in the forefront, but however they do it, the support, the love and the passion shine through. Today I’m welcoming erotica writer and marketing and PR expert, Lucy Felthouse and her passionate partner, Ian H.

Lucy: Lucy is a graduate of the University of Derby, where she studied Creative Writing. During her first year, she was dared to write an erotic story – so she did. It went down a storm and she’s never looked back. Lucy has had stories published by Cleis Press, Constable and Robinson, Decadent Publishing, Ellora’s Cave, Evernight Publishing, House of Erotica, Ravenous Romance, Resplendence Publishing, Sweetmeats Press and Xcite Books. She is also the editor of Uniform Behaviour, Seducing the Myth, Smut by the Sea and Smut in the City. Find out more at http://www.lucyfelthouse.co.uk. Join her on Facebook and Twitter, and subscribe to her newsletter at: http://eepurl.com/gMQb9

Ian: Ian is a graduate of Northampton College, where he studied Hotel Management. From the age of 10, all he wanted to do was work in the catering industry but upon leaving college the last thing he wanted to do was work in catering. Ian has spent the last 12 years as a merchandiser for a software country, travelling the country whilst writing the perfect thriller novel in his head. He just needs to get it down on paper now.

L&I: Lucy and Ian are a geektastic, film, book and history loving couple. They like exploring the British countryside and also travelling abroad when time and finances allow. They’re often accompanied by Lucy’s boingtastic dog, Scamp.

KD:  Lucy, when I first met you and Ian, I thought Ian was the quiet one. Turns out he has a pretty wicked sense of humour, does amazing things with chocolate and whipped cream – in the kitchen, baking! You naughty minded pair! In the kitchen! And Lucy, you’re the quiet one – though certainly not online!  The fact that Ian bakes for you, and the fact that he makes the long journey down south with you for readings and other fun events, AND the fact that he camps with you, convinced me that I was witnessing another one of those passionate partnerships in the promoting and celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did that journey begin for the two of you, and has it always been a team effort?

L: Well, we actually met through work, though neither of us is working for that particular company any more. I was introduced to Ian as an “exotic writer” by one of our colleagues, and after a night out with lots of colleagues, we ended up seeing each other on the quiet for a little while, as people sticking their noses in is never a good thing. Then after a while we went public and it’s been fun ever since!

As I said, Ian’s known right from the beginning about my writing, after I corrected the information he was given – i.e. erotic, not exotic! He doesn’t read all of my work—he’s a thriller fan—but he’s very supportive of it.

I: After our initial meeting we began that oh so modern thing, an online relationship (thank you Facebook, you’re good for something other than wasting my time). After making the mistake of asking if Lucy’s writing is autobiographical, a common question I’m told, we discovered we had many things in common and things have gone from strength to strength since then.

KD: Lucy, what does Ian do to help your writing career that you appreciate more than anything else?

L: He goes on writing-related trips with me, to London, to Brighton and next year to Scarborough, and you never know, maybe further afield one day!

KD: Ian, what, so far (knowing that there are lots more such moments ahead) has been the moment in Lucy’s writing career when you’ve been the most proud of her?

I: There are two such moments for me. The first was when she had her first piece of work published and the second was when she did her first public reading of her work.

KD: What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through erotica?

L&I: Ha! Probably when we went to Erotica in London last year. There were many unusual sights, not least adult babies.

KD: Ian, once Lucy begins a new story, how involved are you in the process? What do you consider your most important role when she’s with the Muse? Does it have anything to do with baking her delectable tidbits?

I: I become involved when Lucy needs me to be. Lucy has been known to tap into my love of a wide range of music, which prompted our visit to the Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris to visit the grave of Jim Morrison. This was part research for a future story for Lucy and part hero worship for me. As for my baking, the look of satisfaction on Lucy’s face when she tries my latest kitchen adventure is something I will never grow tired of.

KD: Ian, I know you and Lucy live a good distance a part and only get to see each other on the weekends, do you feel that makes you less involved in her writing career than you’d like to be, or just about right?

I: At times I feel quite detached from Lucy’s writing, but I am never more than an email or phone call way. I also know that she has great network of friends and fellow writers that are always there to help her. I wish I could be more involved, but I always help when I can.

KD: What’s the hardest part of the Lucy/Ian working partnership?

L: I don’t think there’s anything tough about it. Granted, we only see each other at weekends, but that means that I get all my work done during the week and then we are free to do as we please at the weekends with no distractions.

I: Modern technology has removed the hardest part, the distance that separates us. We both now get our work done during the week, so the weekend becomes our time.

KD: What’s the best part?

L: At the moment, it’s been receiving Ian’s comments about the novel I’m writing. I’m sending it to him chapter by chapter and for saying erotica isn’t really his thing, it seems he’s enjoying it. So hopefully I’m doing something right!

I: I love it when Lucy asks for my opinion or ideas, then later I get see those appear on paper. And the novel is going great, and I’m proud that some of the adventures you’ll read have come from my suggestions.

KD: One of the things I enjoy most about the two of you is all the wonderful trips you take on the weekends and the piccies on Facebook. Who plans the itinerary? Do you take turns? What’s the best part about your travels together?

L: We plan things together. Luckily, we like many of the same things, and want to see the same places. So one of us will suggest something, and most of the time, the other person agrees. Sometimes they’ll come up with another suggestion. But either way, we do as much as we can, and much prefer being out and about to sitting in watching TV. The best part of our travels is doing something we both enjoy.

I: It’s a joint effort. We’ve got many of the same interests so we always have many things planned, often months in advance. It is often the simplest things we do that become the most enjoyable.

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to make that strange and wonderful relationship between erotica writers and their partners run smoother?

L: That’s tough, because everyone is so different. It helps me that Ian is so open-minded, and gets that all I’m doing is writing fiction. I’m just making stuff up and writing it down. He also just lets me get on with it, but is also there to help if I ask.

I: Just to remember that what’s written is fiction.

KD: Ian, though I can speak to the totally delectability of your chocolate éclairs, I just HAVE to ask, what’s your favourite recipe for something totally decadent and inspiring to smutters? A picture? A luscious description? A recipe? *Salivates hopefully*

I: I believe that my chocolate éclairs do take some beating, but I have something planned for our next meeting that might just beat them.

KD: Lucy, what’s the Muse had you up to lately, and what yumminess should we be keeping an eye out for from next from Lucy Felthouse?  I know there’s a novel in the works. Dare I ask for any gossip or tidbits about said novel???

LF: As you know, I’m always juggling several projects at once. I am working on a novel, but I’ve also been taking little breaks and writing short stories, too.

The novel is shaping up really well, I’m almost halfway through my 80,000 words. It has a working title of Stately Pleasures and is an erotic romance, though the romantic twist won’t be apparent to begin with. It’s about a woman who takes a job in a country house, and she ends up having a great deal of kinky fun with the owner and his best friend, the Head of Security. Ménage heaven!

Lucy’s latest release: No Boys Allowed

Three sexy Sapphic tales from the pen of Lucy Felthouse:

No Boys Allowed

When Leigh goes to meet with some potential housemates in a sought-after part of London, all she’s interested in is making a good impression. The last thing she’s expecting is to find out that one of the girls is a lesbian, like her. Kacey’s not home yet, but when she arrives, Leigh knows one thing for sure: she’s smitten. But will her feelings be reciprocated?

Something in Common

Nerd and amateur photographer Justine is partaking of one of her favourite pastimes—visiting a historical site—when she bumps into Amber. It turns out they’re both equally enthusiastic about exploring stately homes, abbeys, stone circles and the like—and their surprise at meeting someone with similar interests leads them on another adventure together, which doesn’t end at the site.

Little Miss Goody Two Shoes

Izzy and her girlfriend are visiting a beautiful stately home in the British countryside. Taking a stroll around the garden, Izzy’s shocked to see a statue of a female—totally naked. Her girlfriend, astounded that Izzy is such a prude and a Little Miss Goody Two Shoes, proceeds to show her just what fun can be had in a country garden with a statue to hide them from prying eyes.

More info, excerpt and buy links: http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk/published-works/no-boys-allowed/

Lily Harlem Shares Her Experiences in Self-Publishing

Self-publishing, which used to be the kiss of death for a writer, is now coming into its own in ways no one would have thought possible even five years ago. It’s my pleasure to have a writer who has had success in both traditional publishing and now in self-publishing. Please welcome the very talented Lily Harlem.

KD: Lily, you have critically acclaimed works out by multiple publishers, what inspired you to try the self-publishing route?

LH: Hi K D, first of all thanks so much for having me here today, it’s always great to come and hang out with you.

Self-publishing, okay, well I got the initial idea from a lecture at Eroticon 2012 – http://writesexright.com/eroticon-2013/  given by the very lovely M K Elliot – http://www.steamyspice.blogspot.co.uk –  (I’m still lusting after the fantastic scarlet stilettoes she wore that day. Wow!). She talked about self-publishing at Amazon and the success she’s had with this way of telling her stories. Yes, there are ups and downs, positives and negatives, and certainly there’s a lot of work involved. You, as the author, have to do everything, but still, she didn’t put me off and I decided to have a go. I should say at this point that M K was a wonderful help during my first steps and completely okay with me firing off emails with ‘silly’ questions. Thanks M K 🙂

 

KD: Tell us how the experience has been for you.

LH: Fun, stressful, liberating, worrisome, rewarding, hard work and incredibly satisfying!

 

KD: Now that you’ve experienced both traditional publishing and self-publishing, can you give our readers a comparison of the two.

LH: I’m definitely glad that my introduction into the world of publishing was through a traditional publisher who held my hand every step of the way. All I had to do was write, they did the cover art, worked with the edits, sorted out the copyright jargon and did a big chunk of the marketing. They took me on the wild ride that is publishing your first book without any of the stress!

Self-publishing is definitely not for the faint hearted. You have to be brave and just go for it! Certainly you have to believe in the story you’re publishing, which is where some great beta readers, who are honest and critical, become worth their weight in gold! With self-publishing there’s no editor saying “you can’t write that” or “this would never happen”. To these points sometimes I agree, other times not so much, self-publishing is all your own choice—every single word, action of the characters and twist in the plot. So yes, confidence has to play a part in self-publishing, and I don’t think I would have had the confidence if I hadn’t gone down the traditional route first.

 

KD: Who would you recommend self-publishing to, as far as writers go?

L H: Writers who’ve already been published traditionally so they have an understanding of the process. Plus if you already have a name as an author, and people have read and enjoyed your books, they’re more likely to pick up your self-published one.

 

KD:  With the rise in ePublishing the stigma that was always attached to self-publishing seems to be rapidly disappearing. Why do you think that is?

LH: It’s great that the stigma is going, it means everyone gets a chance to not only tell their story, but everyone also has a chance to read it. In regards to why that stigma is lifting, I think it’s because some really good quality authors are putting work out there, M K Elliot being just one who springs to mind. At one time self-published books were regarded as poor works, badly edited, things no traditional publisher would touch with a barge pole. But not any more, established authors can use self-publishing as a way of cutting out the middle-man and being free to write what and how they want to. I don’t think it will ever take over, but it is certainly establishing its place in the world of publishing.

 

KD: What’s the hardest part of self-publishing? The best part?

LH: The hardest part, definitely the editing process. Despite having my latest release The Glass Knot beta read by two separate partners, I still found a few spelling mistakes/misplaced words on my last read through, and then I thought ‘I better read it again’ and I found another two! ‘Damn, better read the whole 60,000 words over’ – I send myself slightly nuts doing that! But eventually I have to hit that publish button! I’m sure the fact that I switch between the US dictionary and the UK dictionary, depending on which publisher I’m writing for, sends my brain a bit squiffy sometimes!!

 

KD: Now that you’ve experienced traditional and self-publishing, could you share with us your insights. What stands out about the experience?

LH: One of the most useful things I’ve been able to do with self-publishing is offer readers a chunk of another one or even two of my books at the end. Rather than just an excerpt I’ve added full chapters. This way they can see if they fancy reading it. Also if the book that’s just been read is of a particular sub-genre, ménage a trois for example, I’ve been able to list and link my other ménage books. I’ve found this a really useful part of the experience and I hope readers like it too.

 

KD: What about sales? How do your self-publishing sales compare with those of your works that have been traditionally published?

LH: The amount of books I sell is pretty much the same, the main difference being with self-publishing, because the royalties are higher, I can sell a book cheaper and make the same amount per book as I would if it was being sold through a publisher. I can also track my sales easier with self-publishing, so I know if any promotional work I’ve done that week has had a direct result on the book selling.

 

KD: Any advice for people who are considering self-publishing for their own works?

LH: You need to have a good set of people around you to help out with cover art, editing and beta reading, I’m incredibly lucky to be good friends and write with Natalie Dae who, in her day job is a cover artist and has edited in the past too. If you’re not a US resident you have to sort out a tax-exempt number with the IRS which can be a bit of a fiddle, but well worth it. Plus be patient with yourself, know that it will take time, but when it’s all done, the feeling is great. M K was good enough to help me on the first time round, and I’m happy to pass that on and answer any questions either here or through my website.

 

Thanks so much for inviting me, K D, it’s been great 😉

Lily x

 

Website http://www.lilyharlem.com/

Blog http://www.lilyharlem.blogspot.com/

Twitter https://twitter.com/#!/lily_harlem

Facebook http://en-gb.facebook.com/people/Lily-Harlem/100003519563064

Facebook author page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lily-Harlem-author-page/200182030094568

Pinterest http://pinterest.com/lilyharlem/

Goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4070110.Lily_Harlem

 

Lily Harlem

 

Self-published books

 

The Glass KnotThe Glass Knot

What’s a girl to do when the guy she falls for is married to another man?

This is exactly what happened to me. Seeing Josh Kendal stroll out of the Mediterranean Sea wearing tight navy swim trunks and looking like a hot new James Bond was a truly delicious moment. Catching sight of his wedding ring was like a kick in the shin and meeting his gorgeous husband, phew, that was enough to make any girl groan at the cruel joke God was playing on her.

But all was not as it seemed, and when Josh needed a woman to sort out a ‘delicate predicament’ I was the one for the job – heck, what did I have to lose? Certainly not as much as him, literally.

Trouble is, emotions always get tangled, loyalties can’t help but be divided and with a night of memories so hot they’d have the devil sweating, there was only one thing for it—it was time to get honest, fight for what I wanted despite society’s constraints and open my heart to the people it needed most.

Amazon US – http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009OR4LDW

Amazon UK – http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Glass-Knot-ebook/dp/B009OR4LDW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1350135893&sr=8-1

 

ScoredScored

Okay, so I eat, sleep and breathe football and reporting the beautiful game is my dream career. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have time for a major crush on the England captain, Lewis Tate. The bloke is sex on legs, hot with a capital H. Add in his awe-inspiring talent, his brooding good looks and what’s not to lust after?

So my excitement is sky-high as I set off with the official press team to cover England’s battle for the European Cup. But when a series of unfortunate, or as it turns out fortunate events, attracts Tate’s attention my way, who am I to say no?

Add in a misogynistic manager, an over-zealous colleague, two blue silk ties and some incredible ball-handling skills and it becomes clear the road to victory, for me, will be an intensely erotic journey. Determined to savor every moment, I hang onto my sanity as best I can while living the fantasy and wondering if it can ever become reality. Because once Lewis Tate has taken me to heaven and back, its clear no one else will ever compare.

Amazon UK – http://www.amazon.co.uk/Scored-ebook/dp/B0085MQSA6/ref=sr_1_14?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1350135948&sr=1-14

Amazon US – http://www.amazon.com/Scored-ebook/dp/B0085MQSA6/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1337925243&sr=8-3

 

Good Cop, Bad CopGood Cop, Bad Cop

Fame and fortune is a blessing that, for me, has changed its taste from sumptuously sweet to murderously bitter. Leaving me no choice but to look over my shoulder at every turn and question the scruples of even my most faithful friends.

I would give up all the glowing adoration from my fans in a heartbeat in exchange for not running for my life. But fate doesn’t deal cards that way, and instead I find myself far out at sea and being bounced between two hot cops—one so chilly just his glance gives me frostbite, and the other showing a kindness that barely covers his own demons.

So with nowhere else to turn, quite literally, I have to trust two men I hardly know with my life and cope without the luxuries my status usually affords me. But it’s not long before I discover when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Turns out these cops are not only the wrong guys to mess with, they also have partnership skills above and beyond the requirements of their day job. And for once, while just being me without the frills, I get to discover that they are as sinfully bad as they are dreamily good in every department, and it seems, I am the one they want cuffed and controlled at the same time as they are protecting and serving.

Amazon US – http://www.amazon.com/Good-Cop-Bad-ebook/dp/B0095WD3KI/ref=sr_1_17?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1350136139&sr=1-17

Amazon UK – http://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Cop-Bad-ebook/dp/B0095WD3KI/ref=sr_1_11?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1350135941&sr=1-11

 

MoreMore

An erotic short story. When a woman wants to experiment, how does she ask for more?

Amazon US – http://www.amazon.com/More-ebook/dp/B008UW2PR6/ref=sr_1_7?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1350136920&sr=1-7

Amazon UK – http://www.amazon.co.uk/More-ebook/dp/B008UW2PR6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1350135981&sr=1-1

Passionate Partners: Smut the Blisse/Mitnik Way

I’m so excited to kick off my new Passionate Partners series on A Hopeful Romantic. Maybe more than any other question, we erotic authors are asked how our partners feel about our writing. When sex is our chosen subject it’s no surprise that people want to know how that effects the dynamic of our most personal relationships. Most of you know that my lovely hubby, Raymond is my number one fan and supporter, and that I couldn’t manage half of what I do without his help and support. But there are lots of passionate partners out there, who help us erotic authors and cheer us on in many different ways.

One of the couples I’ve come to know personally and admire deeply is the fabulous team of Victoria Blisse and Kevin Mitnik. It’s my pleasure to interview them as my first Passionate Partners. They’ve joined me on A Hopeful Romantic to give us a little peek into their passionate partnership.

Kevin Mitnik is a Husband, Father, Evertonian, Manic Depressive, Whovian, Geek and Award-Winning Web Designer. His Plugins, Hacks, Mods, Styles, Skins and Addons for vBulletin, WordPress, MercuryBoard, PHPBB and other Scripts have won various awards and nominations.

His Erotic Community JustErotica won a Community Webbie, and the original design for Victoria Blisse won an Innovationz Webbie. He now divides his time between helping his Wife with her Projects and tending to his Kingdom in The Settlers Online.

Learn more at Mitnik22.co.uk

Victoria Blisse is a mother, wife, Christian, Manchester United fan and award winning erotica author. She is also the editor of several Bigger Briefs collections, Smut by the Sea and Smut in the City.

She is equally at home behind a laptop or a cooker and she loves to create stories, poems, cakes and biscuits that make people happy. She was born near Manchester, England and her northern English quirkiness shows through in all of her stories. Passion, love and laughter fill her works, just as they fill her busy life.

Find out more at http://victoriablisse.co.uk or follow and friend Victoria: http://twitter.com/victoriablisse http://facebook.com/victoriablisse

Victoria and Kevin have been married for 12 years and met online 15 years ago back before it was all the rage to do so! They work together at blisseuk.com on various author promotions such as Blisse Kisses, Blissemas and more.

KD: Victoria and Kevin, I consider the two of you an amazing team when it comes to supporting each other and promoting the celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did the journey begin, and has it always been a team effort?

Victoria: It’s all Kevin’s fault in the first place! I had a dream one night, a sexy dream, and it wouldn’t leave me alone so Kev said to write it down. I did, and he thought it was good so he told me to post it at literotica.com for people to read and again, I did. I got great feedback and I’ve been writing ever since!

Kevin: Really it started as Victoria’s writing but I was always behind the scenes, helping with editing and putting together and running her website. As time went by we’ve expanded into promotions for other authors as there seemed to be a gap in the market for a bit of Blisse and now we both put a lot of time and effort into running different events like the Sunday Snog every week and Blissemas in December.

KD: Victoria, what does Kevin do to help your writing career that you appreciate more than anything else?

Victoria: It’s the support and encouragement. He does everything from listening to me read out my stories and helping me edit them to letting me go all around the country to attend book signings and conferences to further my career. He even cooks, cleans and looks after the daughter if I have a deadline I’ve got to work to! He never ever falters in his support of me and my writing and I love that.

KD: Kevin, what, so far (knowing that there are lots more such moments ahead) has been the moment in Victoria’s career when you’ve been the most proud of her?

Kevin: There’s been a few but I guess it would be when I went with Victoria to Erotica last year and I saw her standing up and reading in front of a crowd, answering questions and being so confident with all those strangers. She was so professional and I was proud to be there with my famous author wife!

KD:  What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through erotica?

Kevin: That would probably be Erotica again with the adult babies, the tight pants, the corsets and the sexuality on show.

Victoria: And meeting all those strange authorly types in the flesh. All as mad as hatters you know!

Kevin: Just like you.

Victoria: Well, yes. That is probably true.

KD: Hmmm. They sound like my kind of people.

KD: Kevin, you are actually coming into your own as an erotic author too. Has that changed the dynamic of the way the two of you work together?

Kevin: I’ve always written bits and pieces and having Victoria in the industry already it gave me the confidence to submit my story to the Get Off Three Porn stars contest.  I was surprised when I actually won. I’m not planning on a full time erotic writing career as such, I’ll leave that to the wife, but it’s fun to join in with a story of my own now and then.

KD: What’s the hardest part of the Blisse/Mitnik working partnership?

Kevin: Having time to still be a couple between all the writing and website designing and promoting and traveling for readings and whatever. We need more time.

Victoria: I’d say it’s aligning the different ways we work. I am a multi-tasker and a procrastinator and so I don’t always run to time. Kevin is very focused and when he has a task to do his mind will not wander from that even for a minute. Sometimes we frustrate each other just by being ourselves!

KD: What’s the best part?

Kevin: The mutual support.

Victoria: Working with my bestest mate in all the world. And the sex. Though generally that’s not technically a part of the job.

Kevin: But you told me it was!

Victoria: Research Dear, Research!

KD: I happen to know that the two of you are committed to the celebration of sexuality and erotica in a much larger way than just to writing. In fact, you two are the master minds behind an event I’m certainly looking forward to next June, Smut By the Sea in Scarborough. Now that’s a huge team effort. Tell us a bit about it.

Victoria: Smut by the Sea is a daylong event on the 22nd June 2013 to celebrate all things kinky and erotic including writing. Especially the anthologies of the same name.

Kevin: It’ll be at Scarbrough Library and the day event is free for people wander in, listen to some readings, browse the erotic market and have a brew. The evening will be a swanky book launch with readings from the Smut by the Sea anthologies and a chance to get your books signed! This will be £10 on the night or you can get yourself an earlybird ticket for just £5 right now: http://smutbythesea.eventbrite.co.uk/

Victoria: And all the info is up at http://smutbythesea.co.uk as we get more details they will go up on the website. The event is still in the planning stages and loads more fun and sexiness will be added to it by the time June comes around!

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to make that strange and wonderful relationship between erotica writers and their partners run smoother?

Kevin: Honesty. You have to be open with one another about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Also Support is really important, sometimes there are going to be rejections and fussy editors you need to be there to give solace when needed and reassurance and encourage them to continue.

Victoria: I’d say communication is really important. Like I need to let Kevin know when I have deadlines so he realises I’m not avoiding him, I’m just busy. I need to know when Kevin has websites to finish or covers to make so that I can give him the time and space he needs to do that. Being able to give constructive criticism is good too. I know when Kevin tells me to change something in a story it’s not because he’s being a pain in the bum it’s because he wants it to be the best it can be. Same goes for me suggesting a different font or colour on a page or a cover Kevin is designing. We urge each other to be the best we can be.

KD: Besides Smut By The Sea, what future plans for Blisse/Mitnik?

Victoria: We Have Smut and Magic on the 27th October at Sh! Womenstore in Hoxton, London. This is a joint event with your good self, KD, and will be great fun as we are providing the Smut with Lucy Felthouse and you’re bringing the magic with Riding the Ether. This is the first Smut in the City event and I know it’s going to be great. For more details check: http:// http://smutinthecity.co.uk/

Kevin: And we have plans for more Smut events in future. This is just the start of our smutty journey!

Victoria: Oh and of course there is Blissemas which we will both be running in December. One lucky winner will receive a kindle fire! For details check: http://blissemas.co.uk

Kevin: And there might be something a little cheeky and blisseful for Eastertime next year too! Look out for the Blisse Bunnies in the new year!

KD: Wow! It’s amazing what a little teamwork can do. You two are phenomenal! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing a few of the secrets of Passionate Partners. I’ll see you both in London for Smut and Magic!

 

 

Delores Deluxe Talks Body Confidence the Burlesque Way

One of the huge advantages of living so close to London is that I get the chance to rub shoulders with some of London’s most fascinating, most amazing people, and one of those people is the totally delicious Delores Deluxe.

Delores is an established performer, producer and promoter on the London burlesque and cabaret scene. She is a founder and leader of London’s longest running troupe,  The Kitten Club Burlesque Cabaret which have been performing around London for 7 years.

Delores also manages all the entertainments for Volupte, one of London’s premiere venues.

Having a 10 year background in classical acting and musical theatre, she was delighted to stumble into the emerging burlesque scene in London and to put her skills to an exciting new use. Delores has an all-star troupe of Kittens, all very successful in their own rights within the industry. She has led the troupe to many successes and glamorous accolades including two West End Shows, residencies at Volupte and Madame JoJo’s, Performances at Cafe de Paris, Claridges and Bush Hall and also regular musings on the airwaves of BBC London.

She takes her role of making the world a more glamorous and stylish place very seriously, campaigning for several global, worthy causes such as The Anti-Training Shoe Society, Unsightly Fleece and Hoody Awareness, Grey Underwear Anonymous and the recently formed Lipstick Association, ‘Keeping it Red’.

Delores is here today to tell us a little bit about something that effects us all, Body Confidence

KD: Welcome back to A Hopeful Romantic, Delores. It’s always a pleasure to have you here. Could you tell us what inspired you to begin a course on Body Confidence.

Delores: I have been working in burlesque for the last 8 years and started teaching burlesque around 3 years ago. After our shows, I was always amazed at the reaction from the women in the audience who would regularly come up and tell us, not just how much they’d enjoyed the show but also how inspiring they’d found it to see a variety of real women of different shapes and sizes onstage. They would often ask us for advice on anything from lingerie, corsetry, confidence, fashion and even their sex lives!?

When I started teaching burlesque more regularly with The House of Burlesque Academy, I found that a few ladies in the class would have real issues with their bodies and their confidence and would often ask to talk to me after the class to discuss these issues. I decided then there was probably a market for a class more tailored towards focussing on positive body image, perhaps with a burlesque twist!

KD: Men don’t seem to have the same issues with their bodies that women do, why do you think that is? Or do you think they’re just better at hiding it?

Delores: I think men, particularly younger men, have issues too, maybe they are just less open about discussing them?

KD: What do you see as the main cause for women’s over-all lack of body confidence?

Delores: I think there are many causes – I’m sure that many people have long term deep seated issues with their bodies that a couple of hours in a burlesque class won’t be able to address – I am not a psychologist! On a more general level, I do think the media, with airbrushed and enhanced images on every magazine, has set a very unrealistic ‘body ideal’ for most women

While I can understand that fashion magazines do, and have done this for years, my real hatred is for the newer celebrity magazines where we see women berated on the front cover for having lost or gained weight, wearing unflattering clothes or nipping out without make-up. This sets a really dangerous example and puts enormous pressure on all women, particularly younger girls who feel they have to look a certain way to be accepted.

KD: Do you think women’s attitudes toward their bodies are getting better or worse with all of the interconnectedness of the internet and social media?

Delores: There are definite negatives and positives to the internet – the digital age of Photoshop (or similar) means that so many images we see online are not real and while this does make the pressure and negativity widespread, it can also offer support and positivity.

I’ve had horrible things said about images of me online in the past but these days I choose not to read them!

Delores: Self-acceptance! I try to focus on the fact that we are all individual and unique and to bring in the burlesque theory that there is no ideal, it’s about being the perfect version of yourself.

KD: What do you think is most detrimental to our body confidence?

Delores: Our own judgement – we shouldn’t compare or try to be something or someone we’re not. I also think it’s absolutely vital to be aware of body shape and type and dress accordingly – looking like a million dollars in something that really suits your figure will do great things for your confidence.

KD: It seems to me that pop culture and air brush mag covers and cosmetic surgery readily available for a price take their toll on any woman’s body confidence. How can we combat that influence when we’re surrounded by it every day?

Delores: We have to be realistic and recognise it for what it is. Look around you? You can see that most women don’t look like the models on the covers of magazines and that attractiveness really is a lot more than a flawless face and perfect body.

KD: In the burlesque performances I’ve seen, I notice that there are women of all body sizes and shapes, and the confidence and sensuality all of these women exude on stage is amazing. Why, and how, does burlesque helps build body confidence?

Delores: Burlesque is a very feminine art form –  the costuming alone encourages positive body image by focussing on accentuating curves and celebrating being womanly. It also makes us look slightly differently at what is sexy,  perhaps seeing things as they were in the 1930’s, 40’s and 50’s when women’s bodies weren’t under the pressure they are now and a feminine figure was something to be aspired to.

It’s also important to remember that most professional burlesque performers will have had a background in acting, singing or dance so they are trained performers with talent, skill and personality which does breed a confidence that is very attractive and seductive.

Personally having spent my previous career in acting and musical theatre, burlesque was a breath of fresh air for me, finally being celebrated for being unique and individual rather than feeling like the odd one out a lot of the time!

KD: How much does our attitude toward our bodies influence the other areas of our lives?

Delores: Very much so! I think feeling bad about any part of ourselves will be likely to have a negative impact elsewhere.

KD: What regimen would you put women on, if you could, to improve our body confidence.

Delores: I think to focus on making the most of what we have – a Gok Wan approach if you like! Celebrate, dress up, draw attention to your best attributes and get to feeling happy in your own skin.

KD: Tell us a bit about the Body Confidence classes. When are they available? Where? Who can participate? How can we sign up?

Delores: Studies show that women are up to ten times more likely to have a negative body image than men. This is unsurprising when you consider how much emphasis is placed on the ‘thin is beautiful’ message in today’s media. Celebrity magazines constantly bombard us with unflattering images of women, badly photographed, emblazoned with vicious tag lines of how they have gained or lost weight and therefore failing to live up to this ridiculous and un-natural body ideal that society deems acceptable.

We ladies of burlesque are here to help! We do not endorse any of this awfulness. Our industry is made up of women of all body types, shapes and sizes, all of them equally fabulous, sexy and successful with no sense of competition or ideal.

This workshop will look at the way we see ourselves and challenge how we feel about our bodies. We will be encouraging positive body image by creating a burlesque character that is the perfect version of ourselves – focusing on the things we do like, learning to accept the things we don’t and how we can make the most of what we have, regardless of size or shape to begin to accept ourselves as truly unique, beautiful and sexy….. with a little burlesque twist!

The classes are starting at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium – the first one is on the 27th September at 6.30pm

£25 (includes bubbly and cupcakes!)

Sh! Store
57 Hoxton Square London. N1 6HD

020 7613 5458 or book online:

www.sh-womenstore.com

Delores can be contacted via her PA, Miss Jillian George–Lewis

You can find Delores Here:

www.shwomenstore.com
www.volupte-lounge.com
www.thekittenclub.com
www.houseofburlesque.co.uk

 

 

 

Spanking Good Advice

I’ve always felt like spanking is a gateway to kink, and with the Fifty Shades of Grey craze, more and more people are interested in that gateway. With that in mind, I’ve asked the Sh!’s lovely manager, Renee Denyer, to talk a bit about spanking and why it’s such an appealing part of kinky bedroom fun. Welcome Renee!

KD: Renee, why do you think people are drawn to spanking in sex?

RENEE: Spanking is a bit naughty, and it feels good. The person doing the spanking (the Top) gets to feel dominant and sexy, and the person on the receiving end (the Bottom) gets to feel GREAT. A good spanking ensures that the brain releases rushes of endorphins, the body’s natural pain killers. This feels amazing and can be a bit addictive!

KD: What would you say are the top four rules to remember when including spanking in sex play?

RENEE: As the top, you are responsible for the wellbeing of your bottom. Always agree on a safeword before a scene (play) starts. Some people use two, actually. One that means ‘ease up a bit’ and one that means ‘STOP NOW’. A safeword must be something that you wouldn’t normally use during sex, like ‘celery.’ This avoids any confusion. Honour safewords absolutely.

I.     Choose your implement/s wisely. Does your partner object to marks? If so, long, narrow instruments are out. Does your partner want pain or just pleasure? Spanking doesn’t have to be about pain; it could be just a cheeky li’l threat of possibilities.

II.     Spank only safe areas of the body like buttocks, thighs and top of arms. Practice your aim on pillows so you’re sure you’re aim is spot-on. Also, always test the implement on the inside of your arm, or on your thigh, so you know what you’re dishing out!

III.     Take your time. Pain threshold rises in correlation with arousal, so the more turned on your bottom is, the more he/she can take!

IV.     Responsibly close the scene when you think the bottom has had enough. End your play by lavishing loving aftercare on your partner.

KD:  I’m sorry, but I just have to ask; have you seen an increase in the number of people interested in spanking with the advent of Fifty Shades of Grey?

RENEE: Oh God, yes! Sales of ball gags are up by a massive 400%! Sales of spanking equipment and luv-balls have increased too. It seems everyone’s at it! 50 Shades has been amazing for sales. Couples are opening up to each other, talking about fantasies and what they’d like to try. It’s great

KD: Other than the good old human hand, what do you find to be the most popular spanking tool?

RENEE: You can use pretty much anything that’s a good shape and size, like a wooden spoon or a plastic ruler. Of course, I’m a huge fan of fancy whips and paddles, but you don’t really need to buy anything to get started. You probably have something useful lying around at home, like a big, flat hairbrush!

KD: If I were a newbie coming into Sh! with my partner, wanting to learn more about how to include spanking in our sex life, what would you tell us?

RENEE: I’d say that the two of you need to have a conversation about do’s and don’ts. Power play can bring up buried feelings in a person that may have suffered abused in the past, so it’s really important to negotiate no-go-areas, such as verbal abuse, before play starts.

I always recommend starting off by getting the bottom to grade each blow from 1 (way too soft) to 10 (way too hard). That way you’ll know when to amp it up or slow it down. Personally, I would very rarely go above an 8; that way I ensure my bottom has a great time and feels a little bit stretched in what he/she is able to take without pushing it too far.

KD: In what ways, if any, do you think spanking can enhance couples’ sex life?

RENEE: It offers release, and you can do a bit of play acting if you want. You might want to be a sexy dominatrix for an hour or two, or your partner may want to be a strict housemaster who needs to discipline a naughty student. Pretending to be other people (for a short while, anyway) can really spice things up in the bedroom.

KD: I’m very curious; which spanking implements are your most popular, and do you have a favourite?

RENEE: The hand crop makes a great sound when slapped against bare skin, and is so easy to handle; it’s perfect for newbies:

http://www.sh-womenstore.com/Sensual+Pleasures/FetiSh!/Whips+%252526+Crops/Crop_Handy_Bat.html

The heart-shaped paddle is probably our most sensual product (comes in leather or luxury suede). You paddle the bum with the leather (or suede) side, then turn the paddle over and ‘stoke it better’ with the faux fur on the other side… Deliciously exquisite pleasure!

http://www.sh-womenstore.com/Sensual+Pleasures/FetiSh!/Sh!+Spankers/Luxury+Spankers/Luxury_Heart_Spanker_Hot_Pink.html

I have two favourites; the cute paddle with a row of pink hearts and the two-tailed whip.

This paddle leave a row of hearts imprinted on the ass. How could one not love that? My own actually hangs on the door handle into my bedroom, ready for action..!

http://www.sh-womenstore.com/Sensual+Pleasures/FetiSh!/Whips+%252526+Crops/Heart_Paddle.html

The two-tailed leather whip can be used really sensually and softly, or hard and fast for a powerful whack!

http://www.sh-womenstore.com/Sensual+Pleasures/FetiSh!/Whips+%252526+Crops/double_whip_purple.html

KD: I’ve been to a couple of Sh! spanking classes. Suffice to say I had so much fun that one was just not enough. And I was wondering if you could, in a few sentences, talk my readers through what they could expect, besides a nice glass of fizz, in a typical spanking class.

RENEE: There’d be a Sh! Girl ‘Top’ (like me) and a Sh! Girl who doesn’t mind getting spanked at work *wink*. We’ll talk about safety, we’ll look at various implements and how to use them, and we’ll do a demonstration. Guests can join in if they want. They usually do! But it’s perfectly ok to just watch.

All our classes are fully dressed, so you needn’t worry about having to bare your bum!

Link to classes:

http://www.sh-womenstore.com/Erotic+Classes.htm

KD: Thanks for stopping by, Renee! It’s always a pleasure to have you on A Hopeful Romantic.