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Posts Tagged ‘Passionate Partners’

Caroline and Chris Unity Bowness Talk About What Makes Their Partnership Passionate

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Up until now, all of my PP interviews have been with erotica writers and their partners, But it’s my pleasure today to interview Chris and Caroline Unity Bowness for Passionate Partners, and their story is a little different. Thanks so much for joining me, Caroline and Chris!

Chris: Relationship and Sex Mentor initially studied business for 10 years and helped people run their own businesses. I finally stumbled on my real calling after helping people with relationships and sex and who kept telling me I should go for it….eventually I took the leap and love every minute.

Caroline: Workaholic, business owner, lover of people, best friend, Mum, proof reader ….and sex toy guinea pig.

KD: Chris, we met on Facebook, as I recall. You and Caroline had read The Pet Shop together, which immediately reassured me that you were fabulous people with excellent taste. From that, our discussion blossomed to discussing sex as a celebration and a key to intimacy in relationships. Our discussion was my first clue that I was speaking to one half of a pair of Passionate Partners. It’s an absolute pleasure to have the two of you on A Hopeful Romantic
today to talk about your passionate partnership. Since then, I’ve had you on my site as a guest and we’ve had lots of conversations that have convinced me I was witnessing another one of those passionate partnerships in the promoting and celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did that journey begin, and has it always been a team effort?

Chris: Erotica has always played an important part of our journey and it’s a great tool for opening up communcation on sex and pleasure without that awkwardness of starting it yourself. However, building a relatioship thats unashamed about intimacy, sex and pleasure Caroline has to take the credit for.

Caroline: the shower scene perhaps?

Chris: yes…. 1st date, a shy teen facing the claws of the cougar…

chris bowness 220130424_194251_20130424194830778Caroline: 3 years and you weren’t no teen… But yes you were… how shall I put it?… Naive?

Chris: A night out and ended up staying together for the night not sexually but intimately. Next morning Kim Cattrall here suggests showering together less a baptism of fire more an indecent drowning, and there began the journey of sex and intimacy beginning positively.

Caroline:  My mum always instilled in me that sex is harmless fun… ok you may have to be safer these days… but the act itself has not changed. This is the foundation that has been our passion in promoting real sex and the discussion of such. Oh! We do love the Pet Shop though and often have our own little in jokes referencing them.

KD: Very glad to hear that you enjoyed The Pet Shop together. *smiles like a proud mother*

Chris: I recently guested on a Kay Jaybee’s website and wrote about using Erotica as a great tool in the bedroom.

KD: I understand that the two of you have a unique relationship where child rearing and work is concerned. Could you share a little bit about that with us? What did you find most difficult in your arrangement? What did you find most beneficial?

Chris: We both take an active role in bringing our children up, we both run our own businesses and there are times when one needs to be working and one of us naturally slots in and takes time with the children.

Caroline: At the weekend it’s all about family time. Saturday morning we share a family breakfast were we all sit together and discuss the week. We try to have work take a back seat over the weekend.

KD: Could you both tell us a little bit about your work, and what’s most rewarding about it. (I’m thinking in terms of how you got involved with testing sex toys and how one thing led to another.) And what’s most difficult.

Caroline: We fell into by chance really we noticed a few opportunities arise and then when we decided to take the plunge the magazine we were set to review for shut down. We then found our opportunity when an online store put a call out for reviewers and things kind of grew from there.

Chris: Obviously the upside is a constant abundance of free toys and latest products to test out. However, in recent times we’ve slowed down a little asChris-U-B-300x300 finding time in busy schedules to test and write is a job in itself but we do like to keep our hands in. It also helps me keep up to date with the latest products and names out there so I can recommend them to clients.

KD: What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through sex mentoring and the celebration of sex in relationship?

Chris: People know what I do and know Caroline is sex positive too which puts us in the position of the go to people when people have amazing sexual experiences and want to share their story with one of us. We’ve had stories of a woman nearly getting caught giving her boyfriend a blowjob under a bridge whilst they were at a wedding (you know who you are). The stories of unashamed exhilarating one nights stands and a gay man who wanted to share his story of hot sex when his partner came home from work in the early hours and took him by surprise. What’s sad is people want to share these sexual achievements like any other life happy accomplishments but there is a stigma with doing so.

Caroline: One such story being told to me recently involved the discussion of horse tail butt plugs!

KD: Caroline, I don’t know you as well as I do Chris, so tell us a little bit about yourself. Who is Caroline Bowness, and what things matter most to her right now in her journey.

Caroline: My passion is helping others through life as it’s just far too short, family and friends are important to me. I also run my own business which involves helping others so whether it’s people who need my service or people I work along side it’s all about working as a team and making sure everyone is happy.

Chris: She does have a nickname of Hils which is short for Hilary Devey of Dragons Den fame as she is a bit of an idol of Caroline’s.

Caroline: It’s growing on me!

KD: Caroline, what do you consider your most important role in supporting Chris in his mentoring? How do you see yourself sharing in that journey?

Caroline: Kicking him up the arse *joke* Self promotion, he has supported others in business for many years but when it comes to himself he finds it hard but I think it’s because he is to close to what he does to be able to look at it in a business sense.

KD: Chris, what do you think is the most important way Caroline supports and encourages you? What do you see as the most important way you support her?

Chris: Unequivocal and unwavering support, you must know how tough the negative voices can be KD especially in regards to work that’s sex related? Chris-Bowness-Unity-300x212Having someone who is always there no matter what, is special. Furthermore though even though I’m good at putting myself in someone else’s shoes Caroline is very good at giving a deeper insight into female perspective on things.

KD: What’s the hardest part of the Caroline/Chris working partnership?

Caroline: We both work when people need us which can be 1am… Opening a bottle of red and having the phone go or someone need us and having to let go. However, we both know the responsibility and passion each of us has to help others and make their lives better.

KD: What’s the best part?

Caroline: Being able to work with your BFF.

Chris: Bouncing off each other… Being in the unique position to have a great understanding of each others work but being able to be impartial when it comes to offering advice and making decisions.

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to help couples make their partnerships run smoother?

Chris: Whether you have children or not making your relationship the main priority which is pretty easy in the beginning by taking risks and chances to be together like both taking a sick day. However, over time people loose sight of the importance of putting their relationship first. For us we see it that a happy and close us is a great foundation to build our family on.

Caroline: Open and honest communication is really important… talking without fear. One thing we have built in is a cake date one afternoon a week Chris BownessIMG_20130424_201755at a local cafe where we put time aside for each other and our relationship. Chris once joked we could swap it for a gym date…. Erm no it’s not happening Mr!

KD: Tell us something about the Caroline and Chris Team that might really surprise us.

Caroline: We don’t conform to the traditional relationship set up. Days into meeting each other we had a conversation about the importance of the friends in our lives of the opposite sex. This had caused the breakdown of previous relationships for both of us and we had independently decided that in our next relationships we’d be honest about this.

Chris: We were just lucky we were both each others next relationship and actually that foundation brought us closer. We both have the freedom to love who we want and live how we want whilst having a great relationship together.

KD: Chris, could you tell us a little bit about the difference between a mentor and a therapist.

Chris: Long term support, when and where it’s needed but also prevention not cure to problems. Also here for the good things in relationships like guiding people in exploring pleasure. The real surprise I’ve had is the amount of positive messages I’ve received that all have the same theme a
thirst for open discussion in society about positive and real sex. Many people saying they want to be able to talk but they can’t for many reasons.

KD: What does the future hold for Caroline and Chris? Exciting plans? Adventures? New projects?

Chris: I work in the local community and want to get into it more maybe open an office or have my own space people can come to me. The near future is a website providing an online space people can come to get advice but also share their experiences good or bad help each other through but also positively promote real everyday pleasure and sex. Each weekend I also put together an online magazine rounding up the sex positive news in the
last 7 days which you can find at www.bit.ly/ConsentingAdults I also produce a monthly email packed with tips and advice and it’s proving rather popular. People can sign up at www.bit.ly/BeUnity Then finally there is the exciting monthly column I’ve been invited to do for you, KD, Consenting Adults promoting positive real sex, which starts next week.

KD: I’m very excited about that, Chris, and looking forward to having you onboard.

Caroline: A house by the sea and a puppy, actually it’s all about the puppies!

KD: No doubt the world would be a better place with more puppies … and kittens … strategically placed, of course. Thank you, both, so much for sharing a bit about your passionate partnership with us. It’s been a pleasure to have you here together. And Chris, we’ll be seeing you again soon.

Chris-Bowness-Newsletter-logoUnity.1

 

Lexie Bay and Doug, Passionate Partners on the Wild Side

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What better time for a Passionate Partners interview than on Valentine’s Day? The first time I heard the very talented Lexie Bay read at Sh!, the whole audience was enthralled. But there was one man sitting in the crowd who looked like his smile was about to burst his face. He had proud partner written all over him. That was Lexie’s lovely Other Half, Doug. Since then I’ve had many opportunities to enjoy the company of these Passionate Partners and the love and adoration between the two is vibrant. It was a no-brainer asking them to be my guests on Passionate Partners, so happy Valentine’s Day, and welcome, Lexie Bay and Doug, Sparky Cab, Bay!

LExie and Doug PPand LexieLexie’s Bio: Lexie started writing to immerse herself in a fantasy world where women are adored and men fall at their feet.  Then she realised that sometimes men do that so you can stomp all over them in your sexy stiletto boots and since then she’s been creating stories that stay true to her original romantic dream while exploring the erotic, the kinky and the downright filthy.  She finally found the courage to unleash them onto the world and now writes about anything that emerges from the murky depths of her imagination, anytime she can.

In typical romantic author style she lives with her husband and two daughters in a house by the sea on the south coast of England, but then spoils the image by working in the accounts office of an insurance company by day.  She loves chocolate, theme parks, cosy winter Sundays and the smell of fresh sweat on a hot guy. Her dream is to write full time and she could die happy if people fell in love with her work as much as she falls in love with her characters.

Doug’s Bio: Doug has spent a lot of time getting tattoos, riding bikes – including a gorgeous Harley Davidson Road King – driving too fast and generally being a bit of a wild child in his younger days. Then he met Lexie and nothing changed! Nowadays he works as a cab driver and helps look after their two girls. He can cook, clean, fix stuff and is a genius painter and decorator with a hint of Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen when it comes to interior design. But he still collects tattoos and loves the naughty side of life that comes with being married to an erotica writer. He also likes to take the stress out of his life on his balls; golf balls that is!

LExie and doug PPme and doug elfKD:  Lexie and Doug, one of the things that struck me about the two of you when I first met you was how proud Doug was of your writing, Lexie, and how he always seemed to be promoting you. That convinced me right on the spot that I was witnessing another one of those passionate partnerships in the promoting and celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did that journey begin, and has it always been a team effort?

Lexie: Funnily enough it was Doug that first persuaded me to send in one of my stories. I’ve been writing for years to entertain myself and as a way to indulge my creative side in amongst the sensible side of my life. We’ve always been interested in experimenting, reading and watching erotic things together and he asked why I didn’t write some stories myself. Doug has always been my biggest fan and supporter and he gives me the confidence to keep going even when I think I’ll never get any further with it!

Doug: I had never read any of Lexie’s stories until we discussed sending them off to be published but I knew that she enjoyed writing and I knew that she had a very filthy imagination! I always knew that she would be successful, and I do anything I can to help her fulfil her dream.

KD: Lexie, what does Doug do to help your writing career that you appreciate more than anything else?

Lexie: Doug’s biggest contribution is the fact that he works nights a lot which gives me the space and peace to write. I work all day and then I don’t get into trouble for working all night as he is out in the taxi. Doug is also amazing at doing things around the house, like cooking, tidying, hoovering and sorting out the kids, which leaves me more time to think about story lines and write. He also tells me all the time to quit my job and write full time but so far I think I would feel too guilty to actually do it and let him do all the hard work while I indulge myself in my writing.

KD: Doug, what, so far (knowing that there are lots more such moments ahead) has been the moment in Lexie’s writing career when you’ve been the most proud of her?

Doug: I get the biggest rush when I see her stories in paperback. I remember when the author copies of Immoral Views were delivered and how excited she was to see her story in an actual book for the first time. Another big moment was when she got short listed for the Black Lace/You Magazine competition. She was so excited and I was so proud of her. It’s always fun when people ask her to sign copies of her books too, and I love watching her read when we go to Sh!

KD: What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through erotica?

Lexie and Doug PPgaga and slashLexie: We’ve had some amazing experiences since I started writing erotica. We’ve met some incredible people, been to some fantastic places and that doesn’t show any sign of letting up. One of my favourite nights was the Sh! party at the Café de Paris, and we both love going to the party nights at the Sh! shop. Not much can top watching Renee giving a demonstration of how to spank/whip correctly while drinking pink fizz and eating cupcakes. I love the things my writing allows us to do.

Doug: One of my favourite moments was chatting to Tempest Rose and the other girls from the House of Burlesque at the theatre in Eastbourne after their show. There were queues of guys waiting to speak to them and Tempest recognised us and came over to chat. How jealous was everyone?!

KD: Doug, once Lexie begins a new story, how involved are you in the process? What do you consider your most important role when she’s with the Muse?

Doug: I don’t really get involved, but I guess my role when she’s creating is to keep out of the way! Sometimes she will ask me if I think a scene will work and we do talk about how the characters might react to different things, but my role is to keep things going behind the scenes, especially if she has a deadline looming.

KD: What’s the hardest part of the Lexie/Doug working partnership?

Lexie: I think the hardest part is that when I’m immersed in a story I can be a bit single minded and when I don’t get time to write I can be really grumpy. I get so involved in my characters that they become my life and if Doug isn’t as romantic as my leading man he can find himself in the dog house without knowing why!

Doug: I find it hard when Lexie is immersed in a story because she ignores me. It’s almost like being married to two women.

KD: What’s the best part?

Lexie and doug PPWedding 3Lexie: The best part is that when I’m thinking about sex all the time, it does wonders for our sex life. I wouldn’t say that I try out scenes on him but it does often give me ideas for things we could get up to! Also, when I write I’m happy and when I’m happy (like Bagpuss) everyone else is happy. There is nothing like the rush of having a story accepted and Doug is always there to celebrate with me.

Doug: The best part is seeing how happy Lexie is when she gets a story accepted, as well as getting to meet all the other people involved in the industry and going to all the amazing parties.

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to make that strange and wonderful relationship between erotica writers and their partners run smoother?

L&D: Make sure you support each other and remember that the stories aren’t real but the fantasies can be!

KD: That’s fabulous advice! Tell us something about the Lexie and Doug Team that might really surprise us.

Lexie: We’re really very normal and to look at us you wouldn’t dream of what we get up to some weekends when we hotfoot it up to London to play “erotica writer” with our naughty friends. We work hard, we’re raising two young girls with all the dramas that that brings and we spend a lot of time making each other laugh. I suppose one of the big things in our relationship is the ability to laugh at all the crap life throws at you. We’ve been through some major dramas in the ten years we’ve been together but we’ve managed to get through it all with a lot of love and a lot of laughs.

KD: Lexie, what’s the Muse had you up to lately, and what yumminess should we be keeping an eye out for from Lexie Bay?

Lexie: I’ve got a story coming out that I’m really proud of. I feel as though this year my writing is starting to really gel and I’m starting to find my writing style. I love this one so much. It’s called “Decadent Velvet” and I wrote it for the “Smut for Chocoholics” anthology that Sexy Reads has got coming soon.

LExie and Doug PP7DS_LexieBay(1)As well as that I’ve got three novellas that I am trying to finish and hopefully submit somewhere. The first is the back story to the short that got me shortlisted for the Black Lace competition at the start of the year. I enjoyed writing that one so much that I just had to put all the background into it. It’s about an ambitious young woman who falls for a guy who turns out not only to be her new boss but who also has a lot more issues than she bargained for and a much more exciting side than she could ever have imagined. This is my first attempt at a bit of BDSM so I’m a bit nervous about doing it justice.

The second is about two brothers and the girl that they both love. It’s a bit darker than I would normally write and it’s a very intense story. I’ve been batting ideas around for this one since I started writing erotica and I’ve decided that this year I’m actually going to finish it and hopefully get it out for people to read.

The last one is a supernatural story about a Succubus and her messed up family. It’s also a bit dark but it’s full of lighter moments and it was inspired by a really funny guy I was friends with a year or so ago. His take on life made me giggle and I wanted to write something that would capture his humour.

On top of all of that I’m busy promoting my latest story “An Indolent Seduction” which is the story of Sloth from “Seven Deadly Sins” published by Sweetmeats Press. It’s out in e-book and paperback and you can get it from:

Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/Seven-Deadly-Sins-K-Grace/dp/1909181080/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1360538323&sr=8-3

WH Smiths http://www.whsmith.co.uk/EProducts/Seven-Deadly-Sins+eBook+KB00106214637

Waterstones http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/lexie+bay/k-+d-+grace/rebecca+bond/kojo+black/john+lachatte/seven+deadly+sins/9514507/

LExie and Doug PPSeven Deadly Sins LargeBlurb: When the demon of Sloth sets his sights on the angel Industria, apathy becomes dangerously alluring.

Excerpt from An Indolent Seduction by Lexie Bay:

Cordy’s mobile rang and he picked it up frowning. What the hell did Hugo want? He put his hand on the girl in his lap’s head, halting her vigorous blow job for a moment as he answered the phone.

“What is it Hugo, I’m taking some time out of my busy schedule?” Cordy snapped

“Right, yah, sorry boss, still learning the ropes. I think this is pretty important though.”

Cordy tapped the girl on the head, indicating that she should carry on her task. She smiled up at him, languidly running her tongue over her lips before she slid his cock back into her mouth. He stifled a groan as Hugo carried on.

“They did fucking what?!”

He pushed the blonde out of his lap and jumped up, tucking himself back into his trousers. Storming over to his laptop he clicked onto his website. Hugo wasn’t lying; there it was in black and white. “Website removed”

Cordy knew exactly who was behind this. He’d put up with a lot from her but this was the final straw. He ran his fingers through his hair, pacing the floor of his office as his mind worked overtime. Then a slow smile spread across his face and heaven felt a cold wind, spreading a chill across all the virtues.

“Get it up and running again, I don’t care who you need to involve. I want it accessible again by the end of the day if not sooner,” he barked into his phone, not even listening to Hugo as he answered him. He snapped his phone shut and turned to the pretty blonde, wondering how quickly he could get rid of her. He needed to plan his revenge and she was a distraction he didn’t need. Unfortunately she looked like she’d had way too much of whatever it was she’d brought with her, mixed with too many glasses of champagne. She was smiling at him and he was fairly certain he wasn’t going to get away with telling her to go.

*****

Lexie is published by House of Erotica and Sweetmeats Press and you can find out more about her at:

http://www.lexiebay.co.uk

http://www.twitter.com/Lexie_Bay

http://www.facebook.com/LexieBayAuthor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Jaybees: Kay and Steve, the Mysterious Man At Home

I’m pleased to have Kay Jaybee and her delightfully mysterious husband, Steve as my guest today in the third installment of the Passionate Partners series. Welcome, Kay and Steve!

KD:  Kay, I met you long before I met Steve. But that was because Steve was keeping the home fires burning, since London is quite a little hike for you to make. Keeping the home fires burning is no small task with children, and that is what impressed me most about you two Passionate Partners. While Steve wasn’t there in London with you, you couldn’t have been there without his support back home. That convinced me right on the spot that I was witnessing another one of those passionate partnerships in the promotion and celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did that journey begin, and has it always been a team effort?

K: We met at University a frighteningly long time ago now. Our first meeting was not auspicious! We were both helping a mutual friend get ready for a trip to Italy to study archaeology in Bologna. Said friend was as unorganised as ever, and the five of us who’d been roped in to get him to the train station on time we were all getting a bit tense to say the least!

S: You were as ratty as hell you mean!

K: Guilty as charged! I have a loathing of being late for anything, and the thought of our friend missing his connection and therefore his flight to Italy was making me edgy!

Steve was there with other friends, and I paid very little attention to any of them as I hunted high and low for all the dig equipment needed for the trip. I fear he thought I was a right stuck up cow!

S: I did! Posh southern thing in a bad mood!

K: Says the boy from the backwaters of Birmingham!!

S: What Kay is saying KD, is that she didn’t want anything to do with a bit of rough like me!!

K: Cheek! And you are not that rough Mr PhD!!! I just don’t like blokes with long hair that are mad about Iron Maiden!

S: And yet you married me!

K: Only after the hair got cut and I got you headphones! Lol!! Let’s just say, it took us 18 months from that first meeting to become friends, and then start going out together.

KD: Kay, what does Steve do to help your writing career that you appreciate more than anything else?

K: The most important thing Steve does is give me time to be Kay! It’s not easy reaching all my deadlines with the kids around and my other job to do, so being ‘Dad in charge’ for a few hours every weekend, and while I have my trips to London to do readings and erotica promotions, is vital- I could not do it without him. We have two amazing girls, and they are so much fun.

S: They are great- and both as mad as their mother!

K: And as nuts as their father!

S: Thanks goodness!

K: They also have very big feet- mine are the smallest shoes you can see here

KD: Steve, what, so far (knowing that there are lots more such moments ahead) has been the moment in Kay’s writing career when you’ve been the most proud of her?

S: My proudest moment was when I was looking at the Amazon charts on my iPhone and saw Kay’s novella, A Sticky Situation, in the top ten Kindle charts for the first time.  Or it may have been after her first trip to do a reading at Sh! in London. I knew she was really nervous of speaking in front of other people, but she did it!

K: I think ‘terrified’ is the word- nervous doesn’t even cover it!

S: You did it though!

KD: What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through erotica?

K: Steve is known for being serious-minded about his work, so when a few years ago, he took a selection of my books to work to feature as lots in a charity auction and told everyone his wife had written them- well, let’s just say he enjoyed the stunned looks on everyone faces!

S: That doesn’t sound that crazy really does it!

K: True, but one of the main things about my erotica work is that it’s something I do separately – so any craziness we come across as a result of it is experienced alone.

S: I am quite fond of people asking who the woman in the photo on my desk is- most people look stunned that a grizzled old science guy like me has such a hot wife!

K: Blushing here!! Daft man!!

KD: Steve, once Kay begins a new story, how involved are you in the process? What do you consider your most important role when she’s with the Muse?

S: I’m not really involved at all, apart from keeping Kay amused with sentences and ideas that are SO bad she would never ever use them.

K: I keep telling him ‘she grabbed his huge throbbing member’ just isn’t good enough, but he doesn’t believe me!!

S: Makes you laugh when I say it though!

K: It’s more how you say it!!

I’d have to add there though that, although Steve isn’t involved in the creative or ideas process, he is essential to it. If it wasn’t for him taking over the housework, cooking, and amusing the kids so I can scribble down my ideas when they hit me out of nowhere, then there would be no KJB stories at all.

KD: Steve, you’re the behind the scenes support. You stay home with the kids so Kay can come to London to participate in readings and other events. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out by not being able to be there with her?

S: To be honest I don’t. I often go away for conferences and meetings with my work, which often involve socialising (we do a wicked sing along session!), and so it’s only right that Kay has the same chances with her work. We work so well as a team because we have these different parts to our lives.

K: I’d have to agree with that- we need different parts of our lives that just belong to ourselves. Steve’s career is his- he’s worked really really hard for years to get so far. And my career is mine, and has been hard won. At the end of the day we have a lot of fun telling each other about our adventures! You should hear the recordings of those scientists singing!!

KD: Now THAT, I would love to hear, Kay! What’s the hardest part of the Kay/Steve working partnership?

K: I guess the hardest part is that my workload is so huge, and the PR never ever ends, which can lead me to being rather obsessive!

S: Sometimes I feel like wrestling her laptop out of her hands!!

K: Sometimes you do wrestle the laptop out of my hands!

S: I am the cruellest man in the world KD- I actually force my wife to have a glass of wine, chocolate, and watch TV!

K: He does- cruel in the extreme!!

KD: Oh, such torture, Kay! I can’t imagine how you endure it! Steve, you’r my kind of cruel! What’s the best part? (If there can be better than wine and chocolate!

K: Lol- when he wrestles the laptop out of my hands and makes me eat chocolate!! No- the best part is that Steve never stops making me laugh- bottom line is he makes me very happy.

KD: That truly is better than wine and chocolate!

S: I just love to see Kay smile- and when she’s doing well with her writing the smile is even wider! You do not want to be around if the PR mountain has reached crash helmet and crampon levels!!

K: True- I’m like a PMT monster from hell then!

S: And then some!

K: Steve helps me keep perspective- reminds me that blogs really can wait, that a novel isn’t going to be written well when I’m tired, and that I need far more rest than I let myself have!

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to make that strange and wonderful relationship between erotica writers and their partners run smoother?

K: Respect each other’s need to do their own thing!

S: Always have black coffee on tap

K: Or tea if you’re weird like my husband!!

S: Never forget that writers are weird- they don’t write because it’s their job. They write because they HAVE to write- there is something in them that makes it an unstoppable force.

K: And writers must remember that normal people aren’t often like that!

KD: Absoulutely true on both counts! Tell us something about the Kay and Steve Team that might really surprise us.

K: Perhaps the most surprising thing to people is that we are just an ordinary family, and one of us just happens to be quite good at writing sex scenes!

S: Normal? Us? Yes, we are normal- but probably only in our own sense of reality!!

K: And we make dolls house sometimes?

S: Well I do

K: And I tidy up

S: True!

KD: Kay, what’s the Muse had you up to lately, and what yumminess should we be keeping an eye out for from Kay Jaybee?

K: The muse is as active as ever- although it is having a slight change of direction for a little while!

It’s been quite a year for me, with the release of The Perfect Submissive as a paperback, my second novel The Voyeur, my third novel, Making Him Wait, and a new anthology The Best of Kay Jaybee!!

I am just finishing up a new novella for the Xcite Secret Library range, and then, after such a nonstop year, I have decided to take a couple of months off the erotica and try my hand at something else (my lips are sealed!!). I’ll be back soon though- it is high time novel number five transferred itself from my imagination to my notebook…

S: Thanks for letting us both visit today KD!! Been a bit of a walk on the wild side for me!!

K: Thanks KD!!! xxx

KD: Thanks, both of you, for stopping by. What a pleasure it’s been to have the whole team!

About Kay Jaybee

Kay Jaybee wrote the novels Making Him Wait, (Sweetmeats Press, 2012), The Voyeur (Xcite, 2012), The Perfect Submissive (Xcite 2012), and Not Her Type: Erotic Adventures With A Delivery Man (OCPress, 2011). She has also written the anthologies The Collector (Austin & Macauley, 2012 & 2008), The Best of Kay Jaybee (Xcite, 2012), Tied to the Kitchen Sink, Equipment, (All Romance, 2012), Yes Ma’am (Xcite e-books, 2011), Quick Kink One and Quick Kink Two (Xcite e-books, 2010). Kay has had over 60 short stories published by Cleis Press (inc. Best of Best Women’s Erotica 2, Best Women’s Erotica 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2012; Best Bondage 2012, Sweet Love, Smooth, Gotta Have It, Sweet Confessions), Black Lace (Sexy Little Numbers), Mammoth (The Mammoth Book of Lesbian Erotica), Xcite (inc.Ultimate Sin, Boy Fun, Power Play, Threesomes, Finger Music, Tricks For Kicks), Penguin (Oysters and Chocolate; Erotic Stories of Every Flavor), Seal (Oysters and Chocolate; Nice Girls, Naughty Sex),and Sweetmeats Press (Immoral Views)

Details of Kay’s work, past, present and future can be found at www.kayjaybee.me.uk

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Best-Kay-Jaybee-ebook/dp/B009YYRM3Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1351690101&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Making-Him-Wait-ebook/dp/B009RT6SM4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1352055034&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Voyeur-ebook/dp/B008QBZ42Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1352055073&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Perfect-Submissive-length-ebook/dp/B008GNDT3I/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1352055158&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Collector-Kay-Jaybee/dp/1849633517/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1352055225&sr=1-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Passion from a Distance: Lucy Felthouse and Ian H

KD: It’s my pleasure to introduce the second in my series of Passionate Partners. For those of you who missed out on the first instalment, Passionate Partners is a series to celebrate erotica writers and their partners who, may help them quietly behind the scenes or a little more in the forefront, but however they do it, the support, the love and the passion shine through. Today I’m welcoming erotica writer and marketing and PR expert, Lucy Felthouse and her passionate partner, Ian H.

Lucy: Lucy is a graduate of the University of Derby, where she studied Creative Writing. During her first year, she was dared to write an erotic story – so she did. It went down a storm and she’s never looked back. Lucy has had stories published by Cleis Press, Constable and Robinson, Decadent Publishing, Ellora’s Cave, Evernight Publishing, House of Erotica, Ravenous Romance, Resplendence Publishing, Sweetmeats Press and Xcite Books. She is also the editor of Uniform Behaviour, Seducing the Myth, Smut by the Sea and Smut in the City. Find out more at http://www.lucyfelthouse.co.uk. Join her on Facebook and Twitter, and subscribe to her newsletter at: http://eepurl.com/gMQb9

Ian: Ian is a graduate of Northampton College, where he studied Hotel Management. From the age of 10, all he wanted to do was work in the catering industry but upon leaving college the last thing he wanted to do was work in catering. Ian has spent the last 12 years as a merchandiser for a software country, travelling the country whilst writing the perfect thriller novel in his head. He just needs to get it down on paper now.

L&I: Lucy and Ian are a geektastic, film, book and history loving couple. They like exploring the British countryside and also travelling abroad when time and finances allow. They’re often accompanied by Lucy’s boingtastic dog, Scamp.

KD:  Lucy, when I first met you and Ian, I thought Ian was the quiet one. Turns out he has a pretty wicked sense of humour, does amazing things with chocolate and whipped cream – in the kitchen, baking! You naughty minded pair! In the kitchen! And Lucy, you’re the quiet one – though certainly not online!  The fact that Ian bakes for you, and the fact that he makes the long journey down south with you for readings and other fun events, AND the fact that he camps with you, convinced me that I was witnessing another one of those passionate partnerships in the promoting and celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did that journey begin for the two of you, and has it always been a team effort?

L: Well, we actually met through work, though neither of us is working for that particular company any more. I was introduced to Ian as an “exotic writer” by one of our colleagues, and after a night out with lots of colleagues, we ended up seeing each other on the quiet for a little while, as people sticking their noses in is never a good thing. Then after a while we went public and it’s been fun ever since!

As I said, Ian’s known right from the beginning about my writing, after I corrected the information he was given – i.e. erotic, not exotic! He doesn’t read all of my work—he’s a thriller fan—but he’s very supportive of it.

I: After our initial meeting we began that oh so modern thing, an online relationship (thank you Facebook, you’re good for something other than wasting my time). After making the mistake of asking if Lucy’s writing is autobiographical, a common question I’m told, we discovered we had many things in common and things have gone from strength to strength since then.

KD: Lucy, what does Ian do to help your writing career that you appreciate more than anything else?

L: He goes on writing-related trips with me, to London, to Brighton and next year to Scarborough, and you never know, maybe further afield one day!

KD: Ian, what, so far (knowing that there are lots more such moments ahead) has been the moment in Lucy’s writing career when you’ve been the most proud of her?

I: There are two such moments for me. The first was when she had her first piece of work published and the second was when she did her first public reading of her work.

KD: What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through erotica?

L&I: Ha! Probably when we went to Erotica in London last year. There were many unusual sights, not least adult babies.

KD: Ian, once Lucy begins a new story, how involved are you in the process? What do you consider your most important role when she’s with the Muse? Does it have anything to do with baking her delectable tidbits?

I: I become involved when Lucy needs me to be. Lucy has been known to tap into my love of a wide range of music, which prompted our visit to the Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris to visit the grave of Jim Morrison. This was part research for a future story for Lucy and part hero worship for me. As for my baking, the look of satisfaction on Lucy’s face when she tries my latest kitchen adventure is something I will never grow tired of.

KD: Ian, I know you and Lucy live a good distance a part and only get to see each other on the weekends, do you feel that makes you less involved in her writing career than you’d like to be, or just about right?

I: At times I feel quite detached from Lucy’s writing, but I am never more than an email or phone call way. I also know that she has great network of friends and fellow writers that are always there to help her. I wish I could be more involved, but I always help when I can.

KD: What’s the hardest part of the Lucy/Ian working partnership?

L: I don’t think there’s anything tough about it. Granted, we only see each other at weekends, but that means that I get all my work done during the week and then we are free to do as we please at the weekends with no distractions.

I: Modern technology has removed the hardest part, the distance that separates us. We both now get our work done during the week, so the weekend becomes our time.

KD: What’s the best part?

L: At the moment, it’s been receiving Ian’s comments about the novel I’m writing. I’m sending it to him chapter by chapter and for saying erotica isn’t really his thing, it seems he’s enjoying it. So hopefully I’m doing something right!

I: I love it when Lucy asks for my opinion or ideas, then later I get see those appear on paper. And the novel is going great, and I’m proud that some of the adventures you’ll read have come from my suggestions.

KD: One of the things I enjoy most about the two of you is all the wonderful trips you take on the weekends and the piccies on Facebook. Who plans the itinerary? Do you take turns? What’s the best part about your travels together?

L: We plan things together. Luckily, we like many of the same things, and want to see the same places. So one of us will suggest something, and most of the time, the other person agrees. Sometimes they’ll come up with another suggestion. But either way, we do as much as we can, and much prefer being out and about to sitting in watching TV. The best part of our travels is doing something we both enjoy.

I: It’s a joint effort. We’ve got many of the same interests so we always have many things planned, often months in advance. It is often the simplest things we do that become the most enjoyable.

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to make that strange and wonderful relationship between erotica writers and their partners run smoother?

L: That’s tough, because everyone is so different. It helps me that Ian is so open-minded, and gets that all I’m doing is writing fiction. I’m just making stuff up and writing it down. He also just lets me get on with it, but is also there to help if I ask.

I: Just to remember that what’s written is fiction.

KD: Ian, though I can speak to the totally delectability of your chocolate éclairs, I just HAVE to ask, what’s your favourite recipe for something totally decadent and inspiring to smutters? A picture? A luscious description? A recipe? *Salivates hopefully*

I: I believe that my chocolate éclairs do take some beating, but I have something planned for our next meeting that might just beat them.

KD: Lucy, what’s the Muse had you up to lately, and what yumminess should we be keeping an eye out for from next from Lucy Felthouse?  I know there’s a novel in the works. Dare I ask for any gossip or tidbits about said novel???

LF: As you know, I’m always juggling several projects at once. I am working on a novel, but I’ve also been taking little breaks and writing short stories, too.

The novel is shaping up really well, I’m almost halfway through my 80,000 words. It has a working title of Stately Pleasures and is an erotic romance, though the romantic twist won’t be apparent to begin with. It’s about a woman who takes a job in a country house, and she ends up having a great deal of kinky fun with the owner and his best friend, the Head of Security. Ménage heaven!

Lucy’s latest release: No Boys Allowed

Three sexy Sapphic tales from the pen of Lucy Felthouse:

No Boys Allowed

When Leigh goes to meet with some potential housemates in a sought-after part of London, all she’s interested in is making a good impression. The last thing she’s expecting is to find out that one of the girls is a lesbian, like her. Kacey’s not home yet, but when she arrives, Leigh knows one thing for sure: she’s smitten. But will her feelings be reciprocated?

Something in Common

Nerd and amateur photographer Justine is partaking of one of her favourite pastimes—visiting a historical site—when she bumps into Amber. It turns out they’re both equally enthusiastic about exploring stately homes, abbeys, stone circles and the like—and their surprise at meeting someone with similar interests leads them on another adventure together, which doesn’t end at the site.

Little Miss Goody Two Shoes

Izzy and her girlfriend are visiting a beautiful stately home in the British countryside. Taking a stroll around the garden, Izzy’s shocked to see a statue of a female—totally naked. Her girlfriend, astounded that Izzy is such a prude and a Little Miss Goody Two Shoes, proceeds to show her just what fun can be had in a country garden with a statue to hide them from prying eyes.

More info, excerpt and buy links: http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk/published-works/no-boys-allowed/

 

Passionate Partners: Smut the Blisse/Mitnik Way

I’m so excited to kick off my new Passionate Partners series on A Hopeful Romantic. Maybe more than any other question, we erotic authors are asked how our partners feel about our writing. When sex is our chosen subject it’s no surprise that people want to know how that effects the dynamic of our most personal relationships. Most of you know that my lovely hubby, Raymond is my number one fan and supporter, and that I couldn’t manage half of what I do without his help and support. But there are lots of passionate partners out there, who help us erotic authors and cheer us on in many different ways.

One of the couples I’ve come to know personally and admire deeply is the fabulous team of Victoria Blisse and Kevin Mitnik. It’s my pleasure to interview them as my first Passionate Partners. They’ve joined me on A Hopeful Romantic to give us a little peek into their passionate partnership.

Kevin Mitnik is a Husband, Father, Evertonian, Manic Depressive, Whovian, Geek and Award-Winning Web Designer. His Plugins, Hacks, Mods, Styles, Skins and Addons for vBulletin, WordPress, MercuryBoard, PHPBB and other Scripts have won various awards and nominations.

His Erotic Community JustErotica won a Community Webbie, and the original design for Victoria Blisse won an Innovationz Webbie. He now divides his time between helping his Wife with her Projects and tending to his Kingdom in The Settlers Online.

Learn more at Mitnik22.co.uk

Victoria Blisse is a mother, wife, Christian, Manchester United fan and award winning erotica author. She is also the editor of several Bigger Briefs collections, Smut by the Sea and Smut in the City.

She is equally at home behind a laptop or a cooker and she loves to create stories, poems, cakes and biscuits that make people happy. She was born near Manchester, England and her northern English quirkiness shows through in all of her stories. Passion, love and laughter fill her works, just as they fill her busy life.

Find out more at http://victoriablisse.co.uk or follow and friend Victoria: http://twitter.com/victoriablisse http://facebook.com/victoriablisse

Victoria and Kevin have been married for 12 years and met online 15 years ago back before it was all the rage to do so! They work together at blisseuk.com on various author promotions such as Blisse Kisses, Blissemas and more.

KD: Victoria and Kevin, I consider the two of you an amazing team when it comes to supporting each other and promoting the celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did the journey begin, and has it always been a team effort?

Victoria: It’s all Kevin’s fault in the first place! I had a dream one night, a sexy dream, and it wouldn’t leave me alone so Kev said to write it down. I did, and he thought it was good so he told me to post it at literotica.com for people to read and again, I did. I got great feedback and I’ve been writing ever since!

Kevin: Really it started as Victoria’s writing but I was always behind the scenes, helping with editing and putting together and running her website. As time went by we’ve expanded into promotions for other authors as there seemed to be a gap in the market for a bit of Blisse and now we both put a lot of time and effort into running different events like the Sunday Snog every week and Blissemas in December.

KD: Victoria, what does Kevin do to help your writing career that you appreciate more than anything else?

Victoria: It’s the support and encouragement. He does everything from listening to me read out my stories and helping me edit them to letting me go all around the country to attend book signings and conferences to further my career. He even cooks, cleans and looks after the daughter if I have a deadline I’ve got to work to! He never ever falters in his support of me and my writing and I love that.

KD: Kevin, what, so far (knowing that there are lots more such moments ahead) has been the moment in Victoria’s career when you’ve been the most proud of her?

Kevin: There’s been a few but I guess it would be when I went with Victoria to Erotica last year and I saw her standing up and reading in front of a crowd, answering questions and being so confident with all those strangers. She was so professional and I was proud to be there with my famous author wife!

KD:  What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through erotica?

Kevin: That would probably be Erotica again with the adult babies, the tight pants, the corsets and the sexuality on show.

Victoria: And meeting all those strange authorly types in the flesh. All as mad as hatters you know!

Kevin: Just like you.

Victoria: Well, yes. That is probably true.

KD: Hmmm. They sound like my kind of people.

KD: Kevin, you are actually coming into your own as an erotic author too. Has that changed the dynamic of the way the two of you work together?

Kevin: I’ve always written bits and pieces and having Victoria in the industry already it gave me the confidence to submit my story to the Get Off Three Porn stars contest.  I was surprised when I actually won. I’m not planning on a full time erotic writing career as such, I’ll leave that to the wife, but it’s fun to join in with a story of my own now and then.

KD: What’s the hardest part of the Blisse/Mitnik working partnership?

Kevin: Having time to still be a couple between all the writing and website designing and promoting and traveling for readings and whatever. We need more time.

Victoria: I’d say it’s aligning the different ways we work. I am a multi-tasker and a procrastinator and so I don’t always run to time. Kevin is very focused and when he has a task to do his mind will not wander from that even for a minute. Sometimes we frustrate each other just by being ourselves!

KD: What’s the best part?

Kevin: The mutual support.

Victoria: Working with my bestest mate in all the world. And the sex. Though generally that’s not technically a part of the job.

Kevin: But you told me it was!

Victoria: Research Dear, Research!

KD: I happen to know that the two of you are committed to the celebration of sexuality and erotica in a much larger way than just to writing. In fact, you two are the master minds behind an event I’m certainly looking forward to next June, Smut By the Sea in Scarborough. Now that’s a huge team effort. Tell us a bit about it.

Victoria: Smut by the Sea is a daylong event on the 22nd June 2013 to celebrate all things kinky and erotic including writing. Especially the anthologies of the same name.

Kevin: It’ll be at Scarbrough Library and the day event is free for people wander in, listen to some readings, browse the erotic market and have a brew. The evening will be a swanky book launch with readings from the Smut by the Sea anthologies and a chance to get your books signed! This will be £10 on the night or you can get yourself an earlybird ticket for just £5 right now: http://smutbythesea.eventbrite.co.uk/

Victoria: And all the info is up at http://smutbythesea.co.uk as we get more details they will go up on the website. The event is still in the planning stages and loads more fun and sexiness will be added to it by the time June comes around!

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to make that strange and wonderful relationship between erotica writers and their partners run smoother?

Kevin: Honesty. You have to be open with one another about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Also Support is really important, sometimes there are going to be rejections and fussy editors you need to be there to give solace when needed and reassurance and encourage them to continue.

Victoria: I’d say communication is really important. Like I need to let Kevin know when I have deadlines so he realises I’m not avoiding him, I’m just busy. I need to know when Kevin has websites to finish or covers to make so that I can give him the time and space he needs to do that. Being able to give constructive criticism is good too. I know when Kevin tells me to change something in a story it’s not because he’s being a pain in the bum it’s because he wants it to be the best it can be. Same goes for me suggesting a different font or colour on a page or a cover Kevin is designing. We urge each other to be the best we can be.

KD: Besides Smut By The Sea, what future plans for Blisse/Mitnik?

Victoria: We Have Smut and Magic on the 27th October at Sh! Womenstore in Hoxton, London. This is a joint event with your good self, KD, and will be great fun as we are providing the Smut with Lucy Felthouse and you’re bringing the magic with Riding the Ether. This is the first Smut in the City event and I know it’s going to be great. For more details check: http:// http://smutinthecity.co.uk/

Kevin: And we have plans for more Smut events in future. This is just the start of our smutty journey!

Victoria: Oh and of course there is Blissemas which we will both be running in December. One lucky winner will receive a kindle fire! For details check: http://blissemas.co.uk

Kevin: And there might be something a little cheeky and blisseful for Eastertime next year too! Look out for the Blisse Bunnies in the new year!

KD: Wow! It’s amazing what a little teamwork can do. You two are phenomenal! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing a few of the secrets of Passionate Partners. I’ll see you both in London for Smut and Magic!

 

 

 
© 2017 K D Grace
The Romance Reviews

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