Renee Denyer | K D Grace

It’s always my pleasure to have the fabulous Renee Denyer over from Sh! to give hot tips for hot sexy romance. It’s been my tradition to have Renee give some fab ideas for a sizzling Valentine’s Day and with the 50 Shade of Grey film coming out on the day, there are going to be lots of questions about ways of bringing a little ‘control’ into the bedroom. Who better to answer those questions that the fab Renee from SH!

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us and, with it, the long-awaited release of 50 Shades of Grey, the film. You may have read the books, and loved the idea of playing with control but felt unsure about how to go about it? If so, this blog post is for you! I’ll be sharing some of my best tips for sexy power exchange in the bedroom. By the end of this post, you’ll be able to confidently recreate a Red Room experience for your lover on Valentine’s Day.

But first, let me introduce myself: I’m Renee, and I work at Sh!, the erotic emporium for women in Hoxton Square, east London. One of my many jobs is teaching classes on how to play kinky games in a safe manner, using suitable implements and avoiding injuries. Many are surprised when I say that BDSM play doesn’t have to involve pain (unless you want it to, of course); it’s more about pleasure and exchange of power. BDSM, for those who don’t know, stands for Bondage, Discipline/Domination/Submission/Sadism and Masochism. That sounds hard, I know, but it doesn’t have to be. For me, it just means “fun sex”!

Christian Grey is a Dominant who gets his kicks from playing with a submissive – someone who enjoys being on the receiving end of all sorts of kinky games. Being in control of your partner’s pleasure can be incredibly sexy – just like it can be incredibly sexy when someone else is in control of your pleasure, and this Valentine’s Day offers up the perfect opportunity to get your own Mr/Ms Grey on – channeling your inner Dominant. Who needs the cinema when you can do it for real at home?

These are a few of my favourite things…

Ambiance

Christian has a Red Room, and you can easily recreate this at home by switching your normal 60W bulb for a red one. And make sure the temperature is comfortable for someone who’ll be lying down naked – a chilly room does not make for sexy games…

Playlist

Whatever kind of music you find sexy and seductive – create a play list and play it on low. Start off slow and finish on a hard, driving beat – let the music be your cue for when it’s time to switch it up.

Blindfold

Slipping a blindfold over a partner’s eyes works well in a number of ways. Firstly, if you are feeling shy or awkward in your new Dominant persona, placing a blindfold over your lovers’ eyes will make you seem masterful, decisive and oh-so-sexy. He/she won’t see that you’re feeling a little bit out of your comfort zone. Also, taking away their visual reference will ensure all their other senses are on high alert. It’s a win! For extra bonus points, use a blindfold (or scarf) that smells of your – your partner will be tripping on your sexy scent in no time.

Safe Word

It’s time to introduce a safe word. A safe word will let you know that your partner has had enough and needs the game to stop – immediately. In true 50 shades- style you could use “popsicle”, or you could make up your own word. Make sure it’s a word neither of you would ever use during sex. Whisper “I want you to say popsicle if you want me to stop” in their ear, and make them repeat it back to you to ensure they understand.

Restraints

Wriggling against restraints whilst being pleasured is sweet torture. I particularly like these long, satin ties with D-Rings. Use the ties to restrain your partner to the bedposts, and he/she will be able to relax and let you look after them in all manner of ways.

Feather

Using something soft like a feather or a pair of silky knickers (kinky!) is a wonderful way of kicking off a long night, relaxing and softly arousing… Avoid the feet if your lover is tickly – having your feet tickled can most definitely ruin the mood!

Fire and Ice

Playing with temperature is always sexy. Alternate between ice cubes and wax candles for out-of-this-world sensations. Draw patterns with the ice cubes for thrills, and the offer pops of heat for contrast. These wax candles are my favorites (word of warning here: don’t use table candles from IKEA). These candles burn at a lower temperature, so are perfectly safe for play. Drip from a height for a slightly cooler pop of heat, or drip close to the body for a more intense sensation. The wax brushes off easily after play.

Pinwheels (or Other Pervertables)

A Wartenburg pinwheel looks like a mini-sized pastry cutter, but feel amazing on skin. Roll gently along the skin and you’ll likely be rewarded with low moans of pleasure. Don’t worry if you don’t have a pinwheel at hand; this sensation can be easily recreated using a table fork. This is what we call “pervertables” – everyday items that can be used for fun sex sessions!

Nipple Clamps

Adding a pair of pretty clamps will add pressure on the nipples, and leave your hands free for other things. I recommend clamps that come with varying degrees of pressure. Start off gently, and don’t leave the clamps on for too long – it’s often more intense to have the clamps removed, so be gentle when doing this.

Leather Paddle

Use a leather paddle for gentle spanking. Start off slow and build intensity as your submissive gets more and more turned on – timing is key here. Ask your lover to rate each blow between 1 (low) and 10 (high) and you’ll get an idea of how hard to strike. Start off at a 3 and work your way up to an 8. Remember to kiss and stroke those butt-cheeks in-between blows.

Big Finale

By this point, your partner is probably gagging for release, and you can choose how to give it to them – you’re in control, after all! For a male partner, I recommend using a Tenga Egg. It’ll feel like several mouths working his shaft all in one go – just amazing. For a female, using a deep tissue massager like Wand on her pubic bone/clit is likely to bring her off with a massive bang!

So there you have it – a few easy tips on how to create your own 50 Shades-experience for Valentine’s Day!

And, before I go; I have 10 pairs of tickets to my next Spanking class to give away – enter this competition if you’d like to learn more about sensual spanking. 10 winners will be picked at random on 13th February, so hurry!

Renée xx

Thanks for having me, KD – it’s been brilliant fun as usual!

Renée is the Award Winning Store Manager (ETO 2014) at female-focused erotic boutique Sh!. She has her fingers in many pies and spends her days talking about G-spots, P-spots and any other spots you may have found in your nether regions. When she is not selling sex toys to the women & couples of London, she can be found at home with a thrilling book and a glass of pink wine, surrounded by her beloved bunnies (of the furry variety). She writes a regular column for Erotic Trade Only magazine and dreams of penning a bestselling sex guide one day.

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Sh!

57 Hoxton Square, London N1 6PB

www.sh-womenstore.com

0333 – 444 005

To help celebrate National Masturbation Month, it’s my pleasure to welcome back Sh!‘s manager, sexy lady extraordinaire and a very good friend of mine, Renee Denyer. Renee has agreed to give a few helpful hints for getting the best out of a good wank. Welcome back, Renee!

Sisters Should Be Doing It For Themselves!

When talking about masturbation, many (if not most) women come over all shy and bashful. ‘We don’t ‘do’ masturbation’ (well, we do – but it’s not polite to talk about it). Ask any man, and he’ll proudly tell you he ‘knocked one out’ in the shower this morning, and I even know one man who’ll tell all and sundry that he masturbates twice a day (that certainly explains the stack of wet wipes in his bathroom!), on top of any partner-sex he may be lucky enough to get.

Why is it that us women can’t/won’t share tips on how to flick our beans?

Well, I believe it stems from childhood and being told that ‘nice girls don’t.’ Proud fathers will hand their teenage sons copies of ‘Busty Babes’ whilst bemused mums turn a blind eye. (My OH, for example, even kept a scrap book of all his favourite pictures of knickerless and pert-breasted young ladies during his teenage years. I was rather amused when we realised his mum had kept the homemade wank-mag amongst washed-out old Iron Maiden t-shirts all these years!). Daughters, on the other hand, are told to keep their hands off their privates (and preferably not let anyone else near them either) until they’re at least 30…

Unfair? Hell Yes!

Here at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, we’ve met so many women who don’t know how to pleasure themselves that we decided to put together a

class on how to wank. Yep. It’s true. We teach women how to masturbate. With the help of Rosie, we show some tried & tested techniques, and then send the female guests on their merry way with some juicy homework. See, all you really need for a great session is a bottle of lube and dexterous fingers (failing that, a good toy will do the job just as well)!

Imagine the clit as a clock face (the ‘clit-face’). Women often report that 10—11 am and 1-2 pm are the most sensitive spots, so hone in on them, but don’t forget that the entire vulva will want in on the action. Slidey, sensual moves are great for a sexy starter; feel your way around. You’ll find that some spots feel better than others, so enjoy them for as long as you like. If you decide to invite more pleasure-spots to the party, the G-spot will probably be thrilled with an invite!

For the main, a finger or two may work wonders inside. The vaginal canal quite likes having something to grip on to, so you may find this is a real treat. If you find it awkward to reach, a vibrator (or a dildo) may be just the thing. Your pc muscles can clench around the toy whilst your fingers slide around on the external parts of your vulva, and you can have lots of hot fun this way!

Breathing deeply, right down into your stomach, will help increase your arousal levels and by this point you may well find yourself pretty hot and ready for more!

You could try adding some warming lube like ID Sensation for extra effect. ID Sensation contains L’Arginine which ensures increased blood flow to your vulva, making it nice and juicy as well as much more receptive to stimulation. I also recommend giving Tickle Her Pink sachets a go – I absolutely swear by these! Amazing stuff!

An erotic book or something sexy on the laptop will help you get worked up, too. We offer **FREE** erotica from an excellent selection of authors (Like KD!) on our blog every Friday (Filthy Friday), so make sure you hop on over for some free weekly smut! We’ll be enjoying Sexy Snax this Filthy Friday from Learning to Soar by Bebe Balocca

Stats show that 70-80% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and you are much better off trying to learn what works for you all by yourself before adding a lover into the mix. If *you* don’t know what works for you, it’s unlikely that your partner will hit the right spot…

Keep your masturbation under wraps until you are ready to show off your new skills – it’s incredibly hot watching a partner get themselves off, so expect fireworks once your private show is over! (#BONUS!)

In these cash-strapped times, we are all looking for good-value activities, and you know, masturbation is absolutely FREE (as well as a healthy way of getting some colour on your cheeks and a twinkle in your eye!). So, Ladiez – get your lube, get a copy of one of KD Grace or Grace Marshall’s books for inspiration, lock the door, switch your phone off and get masturbating!

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Oh, and before I go: Big Thanxx to KD Grace for letting me talk wanking on her awesome blog!

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Renee is the Senior Store Manager at female-focused erotic boutique Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium in Hoxton Square. She has her fingers in many pies and spends her days talking about G-spots, P-spots and any other spots you may have found in your nether regions.

When she is not selling sex toys to the women & couples of London, she can be found at home with a thrilling book and a glass of pink wine, surrounded by her beloved bunnies (of the furry variety).

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