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The Tutor Has a Cover! And a Pear Teaser

thetutor_800I’ve been barely able to contain myself this past two weeks, just bursting to tell you the good news, and now at last I can. Not only can I tell you that my steamy contemporary romance novel, The Tutor, has been snapped up by the Totally Entwined imprint of Totally Bound, but I can now reveal the gorgeous cover which sizzles with the creative genius of Emmy Ellis. I’ll be filling you in on preorder dates and release dates and other details as time draws nearer, but today I just wanted to give you a peek at my gorgeous cover and tease you a bit with a blurb and a small excerpt.

The Tutor has a very special place in my heart because it had its beginnings last October at Smut Manchester during Kay Jaybee’s wonderfully wicked “trip to the supermarket” workshop on inspiration. We were all given an item from the supermarket shelf and told we’d been called over the loudspeaker to go to the stockroom. From that we were to write the beginnings of a story about what we’d find in the stockroom and what we’d do with our item in said stockroom. I still remember the smug little smirk on Ms. Jaybee’s face when she handed me the slip of paper that read A tin of pears in heavy syrup.  I never imagined in my wildest dreams that before the weekend was out, I’d have the seeds for a novel that just had to be written. In fact, it needed to be written so badly that I signed up for NaNoWriMo — National Novel Writing Month in November and wrote the whole 95K in one month!  Here’s just a taste of the end result. Enjoy!

Stay tuned for updates as they happen.

The Tutor Blurb:

Struggling writer, Kelly Blake has a secret life as a sex tutor. Celebrated sculptor and recluse, Alexander ‘Lex’ Valentine’s, can’t stand to be touched. When he seeks out Kelly’s advice incognito, the results are too hot to handle. When Kelly terminates their sessions due to her unprofessional behavior, Lex takes a huge risk, revealing his identity to her at a gala exhibition, his first ever public appearance. When Kelly helps the severely haphephobic Lex escape the grope of reporters and paparazzi, rumors fly that the two are engaged, rumors encouraged by well-meaning friends and colleagues. The press feeding frenzy forces Kelly into hiding at Lex’s mansion where he convinces her to be his private tutor. They discover quickly that touch is not essential for sizzling, pulse-pounding intimacy. But intimacy must survive the secrets uncovered as their sessions become more and more personal.

The Tutor Excerpt:

“Was this your idea or Dillon’s? Kelly asked, hoping to relax him.

“It was mine, after Andy told Dillon and he told me. I thought it was something that I …” The muscles along Lex’s jaw looked as though they were made out of iron, and a fine blush crawled up his neck tinting his ears bright pink. “I’ve never touched a woman … in that way.” He forced a laugh. “Obviously. I’ve …” the blush deepened and he avoided her gaze. “I’ve put lube on some of the sculptures – you know — down there, but I … well it isn’t the same.”

“The pears won’t be either,” she said, her heart suddenly aching at the physical isolation this man endured on a daily basis, and it wasn’t just her heart that ached, she felt his lack deep in her core. It had been easier with Andy. She had been almost flippant with him. She was sorry for that now. She spread one of the towels on the Queen Anne chair across from him and settled herself onto it so they were facing each other. “The texture will be different and with the pear there’ll be less give.” She dipped her fingers in the bowl and rubbed the heavy juice between her index finger and her thumb. “If you touch a woman, she’ll be much warmer.” She gave him a conspiratorial smile. “You’ll be amazed at how warm and how soft she’ll be down there when she’s ready to be touched. With Andy, this,” she nodded down to the pears, “was improvisation, this was the best I could do under the circumstances, but a woman, well a woman feels like nothing you’ve ever touched before.”

He was no longer avoiding her gaze. His eyes were locked on her, and he was struggling to keep them on her face, she knew that; she understood the urge for him to drop his eyes to the place of which she spoke, the place with which she was so intimate, the place that couldn’t help but respond to the topic, to the situation, to the strange intimacy they had shared almost since the moment they’d met. “You can look, if you want,” she opened her legs so that he could see the place in between clothed in black denim, completely disguised and yet so very obvious. “And I’ll look at you too,” she nodded down to his own jeans straining to contain him already. “It’s what men and woman are naturally inclined to do when there’s a sexual attraction.”

With her heart hammering in her throat, she took one of the pear halves into the cupped palm of her left hand, then she brought it down between her spread thighs, feeling the juice of it run over her fingers and drip onto the towel as she spread her legs a little farther and held her pam to mimic the position of her vulva. “Touch it like a woman would touch it, and you’ll always get it right.” She drug her index and middle finger up from the bottom of the pear to the center and felt her own body respond in empathy. “The pear has no folds, no secret valleys, no swollen flesh to be teased open, so you’ll have to use your imagination with that.”

Lex gave a little moan soft and deep in his chest as he shifted to make himself more comfortable. “I know the anatomy,” he said. “I’ve watched porn and I’ve studied drawings. I know how it looks like it might feel. I know the response it elicits.” His tongue flicked nervously over his upper lip. “Of course that’s just acting, isn’t it?”

“Porn is about fantasy, about voyeurism, and it doesn’t matter if it’s real if it gets you off. But when it is real,” she spread her index and middle finger up the sides of the pear’s central opening, “if you’re good, if your sensitive, you’ll feel the spasms of your lover’s orgasm, even see them if you’re using your tongue; and you can feel them gripping at your cock when your inside her. If you’re paying attention.

“The clitoris,” she laughed softly, “Well with Andy I used a Ticktack, but he’s a chemistry major. He likes charts and graphs and periodic tables. You’re an artist, you live in your imagination, so you don’t need a Ticktack. Some women like the thumb stroking and circling while the other fingers work inside. Some women like to use their fingers.” She demonstrated on the pear, and Lex groaned. “It’s always best to ask and be sure.”

“What do you like?” His words were a labored rasp against the back of his throat, and Kelly found herself stunned by the question, and way more aroused than she wanted to be. He shouldn’t have asked. She should have answered. But she did.

“I like it this way.” She shifted her hips and opened a little further so he could see her thrust and scissor, circle and probe technique, and her body responded with the tight grip and release of muscle memory.

“Jesus,” he whispered moving forward on the sofa and leaning closer for a better look. “And when someone uses their tongue?”

She caught her breath in a giddy laugh. “Afraid I can’t tell you what I do since, sadly I’m not that flexible.”

“But you can tell me what you like.” His voice had gone rough.

“I like the flat of the tongue to part me and then probe me, circle my clit and then kiss and suck.” She closed her eyes, finding it difficult to meet his gaze when she spoke about something so intimate, so secret. Come to think of it, she’d never had a man actually ask her how she liked it. The few who had given a rat’s ass about her pleasure had been happy enough to let her order them about, but never quite got the hang of it.

It was the loud schussing sound that caused her to open her eyes. Lex had moved the coffee table out of the way paying no attention to the slosh of pear juice all over the towel V had spread. His eyes were locked on Kelly as he fished out his own pear half and fell to his knees in front of her. When she realized what the man was about to do she dropped the pear she’d been holding with a little gasp of surprise and scooted as far back in the chair as she could. He knelt low, holding the pear in the cup of his hand, as she had, placing it against the edge of the chair between her legs! She gave a little yelp and scrambled back in the chair still further, spreading her thighs over the rise of the chair arms to keep from touching him. He moved forward, the back of his hand so close to her crotch that she could feel the heat of it, and he lowered himself still further until his hair nearly brushed the insides of her thighs. Then, still looking up at her from his position on the floor, he began at the bottom of the open pear half and ran his tongue flat and undulating all the way up, flicking in just slightly in a little circle at the top end before he closed his lips around the apex and she could hear the slurp and suck of the sweet syrup.

“Oh! Lex! Ah!” And then she went non-verbal, holding her breath, tightening muscles deep inside her body, the only muscles she dared to move if she were to keep from touching him. She raised both arms and fisted her hands in a suicide grip around the back of the chair to keep from curling them in his hair. Her thighs trembled from her efforts to keep her legs on the chair arms and not throw them over his shoulders for leverage. She didn’t move. She didn’t breath as he licked and nuzzled and suckled until pear juice ran down his chin and onto his tee-shirt, until his face was damp and sticky, until his forehead was sheened with perspiration, and still he held her gaze as though they were locked together in each other’s orbit neither able to move without the other’s consent.

“Oh God, I’m gonna come.” She barely managed a warning when his own convulsion brought him dangerously near her body. He had stopped breathing, she was sure of it. She practically climbed the back of the chair to keep from touching him as he lost control. Then with a tremendous gasp of oxygen, he straightened, let the pear fall from his hand onto the Aubusson carpet and looked up at her.

“I’m going to pass out.” And he did.

 

 

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Lily Harlem’s JOY RIDE Out Now!

Joy Ride CoverOut Now

Joy Ride

By Lily Harlem

 

Hi Kd, thank you for inviting me over today!

Having fun as husband and wife is something that’s very special to Mr H and I. We met young and married young, but still, no one makes me laugh like he can, and there is no one I’d ever rather be with. He’s my past, present and future. It’s moments when I feel like this that I’m compelled to write fun married couple stories rather than new romances about people meeting and falling in love. My latest story Joy Ride is exactly that. It’s about a couple who have become lost in the day to day of their lives—working, running a home, raising a family—and have forgotten how to have fun together, sexy fun in particular. With the help of a naughty suggestion they soon get their mojo back, in fact, they get more than the bargained for. I hope you’ll check out Joy Ride, it’s available from Amazon/ Amazon UK and if you subscribe to Amazon’s KU you can read it for FREE.

 

 

Back cover information

Kimberly is desperate—muffling gasps of pleasure under the covers is just not doing it for her. She loves 6d66d306f91a5e495be0aee4025a28a0and desires her husband, but she needs more.

Could the Spice Rack game picked up at a girly, wine-infused party be the solution? Anticipation floods her body as she opens the first “task”. What the…? How is “love on the move” going to spice up her sex life? It’s impossible, or so she thinks, because when a sudden sinful idea pops into her head she has to act, much to Nate’s delight.

Until, that is, they’re spotted, pulled over, hauled out and cuffed, and not in fluffy pink.

They’re in for it, but the glint in Nate’s eye tells Kimberly he’s finally got her exactly where he wants her. It might feel like hell, but before she knows it she’s catapulted to a heavenly place she’s been longing to revisit. As long as they can get away with it.

 

 

 

 Please note this book was previously published with different cover art.

 

 

Find Lily on the Web!

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Website http://www.lilyharlem.com/

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Blog http://www.lilyharlem.blogspot.com/

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Facebook author page https://www.facebook.com/LilyHarlemAuthor

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Raw Talent http://rawtalentseries.co.uk

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It’s Time for The Collared Collection Blog Tour

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The Tour: Kay Jaybee and I are very happy to announce The Collared Collection Blog Tour – five
days of fun frolic and filth, not to mention a seriously yummy giveaway, on five totally awesome blogs. Just so you’ll be sure and not miss any of the fun, here are the delicious blogs you’ll find us on all this week.

Giveaway: We’re very happy to be giving away Reader’s Choice of any book on BOTH our backlists to the winner of our kinky little giftie giveaway. All you have to do is leave a comment and at the end of The Collared Collection blog tour, a winner will be drawn to choose their kink – twice! How about that — multiples! So be sure to visit each of our fabulous hosts on the day, enjoy our kinky tidbit, and leave a comment!

 

 

The Blogs:

29th February Once Upon an Alpha http://onceuponanalpha.com/

1st March F. Leonora http://fdotleonora.com/

2nd March Muffy Wilson http://muffywilson.blogspot.com/

3rd March Romantic Fanatic Blog http://romanticfanaticblog.com/

4th March Six Feet Under Books http://6feetunderbooks.blogspot.com/

 

 

The Collared Collection is a two-novel boxed set from the pens of multi-award winning erotica writers, K D Grace and Kay Jaybee.

 

Blurb:

In The Pet Shop by K D Grace, in appreciation for a job well done, Stella James’s boss sends her a pet, a human pet. The mischievous Tino comes straight from The Pet Shop complete with a collar, a leash, and an erection. Stella soon discovers the pleasure of keeping Pets, especially this one, it’s extremely addicting. Obsessed with Tino and with the reclusive philanthropist, Vincent Evanston, who looks like Tino, but couldn’t be more different, Stella is drawn into the secret world of The Pet Shop. As her animal lust awakens, Stella must walk the thin line that separates the business of pleasure from the more
dangerous business of the heart or suffer the consequences.

In the Voyeur by Kay Jaybee, wealthy businessman and committed voyeur, Mark Parker, has a list of 13 fantasies he is intent on turning into reality. Travelling between his London flat, his plush Oxfordshire mansion, and Discreet, his favourite BDSM club; Mark is helped to realise his imaginatively dark erotic desires by two loyal members of his staff – his personal assistant, Anya Grant, and his housekeeper, Clara Hooper.

Upon the backs of his willing slaves, Mark has written out his fantasy list in thick red pen. Only Fantasy 12 awaits the tick of completion against their flesh before Mark’s ultimate fantasy, Fantasy 13, can take place. But have the girls performed well enough to succeed in the final challenge? And what hold does Bridge’s gentleman’s club, Anya’s previous employer and a place she was delighted to escape from, have over Mark?
In order to find out, the girls are going to have to face some of the fantasies they thought they had left behind them all over again.

 

Extract from The Pet Shop-

Wet and cold, Stella was trembling hard enough that is was an effort not to spill the cocoa. ‘You’re Tino, aren’t you?’ She spoke between chattering teeth.

His back stiffened slightly, then relaxed again as he continued to dig through his pack. ‘I’m Vincent.’

She sat the cup down next to her and chafed her arms. ‘I know you’re Vincent, Vincent Evanston, but you’re Tino. I mean he’s you, isn’t he?’

He turned on her quickly and grabbed her shoulders so that she feared he would shake her. Instead he began to chafe her arms, his dark eyes locked on hers. ‘I told you, Tino’s not here.’

‘But I — ’

He swallowed up her words in an open-mouth kiss, taking her breath away, taking away her ability to think with the heat of it, the expressive depth of it. He bit her lip as he pulled back, still holding her gaze. ‘Tino’s not here,’ he repeated. His voice held the tiniest edge of warning.

 

Extract from The Voyeur

Reclining in his chair, Mark raised his arm as if he was about to start a race, and gave the first order. ‘Strip.’

With practice born of repetition, the women divested themselves of their clothing, heaping their discarded garments onto the bed behind them.

Mark took a moment to study his staff, and then pointed to the foot of the four-poster bed. S6303326Understanding the unspoken request, the women stood, face to face, one metre apart.

Anya could feel her heart rate quicken further as she regarded Clara. It didn’t matter that she had enjoyed the feel of Clara’s skin a hundred times before; all that mattered was feeling it again, and soon…

Buy links:

http://mybook.to/collaredcollection

Launch Day for The Collared Collection

Collared bundle - CopyIt’s Launch Day for The Collared Collection! 

And I couldn’t be happier! I’ve wanted to do a writing project with Kay Jaybee forever! Urged on by our readers, and just because we thought it would be fun, Kay and I have been dreaming and scheming for ages about doing a joint project. Several times when we were together for reading slams, we even spent a couple of nights in hotel bars scheming and plotting something new.

 

The problem is that there aren’t enough hours in a day, but then that scheming led us to another cunning plan. We decided to put our two most kinky, most naughty novels together so that readers could seriously indulge their desire for kinky binge reads.

 

Voila, The Voyeur and The Pet Shop together in a two-volume box set aptly named, The Collared Collection. I can’t tell you what a pleasure it is to see our names together on a box set that contains two of our very favourite and possibly most unique, novels. Today that box set is launching on Amazon for your naughty reading pleasure.

 

Kay Jaybee is celebrating the launch of The Collared Collection on her blog today too. Be sure to stop in and party with her too!  And We’re both celebrating with sizzling excerpts. Enjoy!

 

The Collared Collection is a two novel boxed set from the pens of multi-award winning erotica writers, Kd Grace and Kay Jaybee.

 

The Pet Shop by K D Grace

In appreciation for a job well done, Stella James’s boss sends her a pet, a human pet. The mischievous Tino comes straight from The Pet Shop complete with a collar, a leash, and an erection. Stella soon discovers the pleasure of keeping Pets, especially this one, it’s extremely addicting. Obsessed with Tino and with the reclusive philanthropist, Vincent Evanston, who looks like Tino, but couldn’t be more different, Stella is drawn into the secret world of The Pet Shop. As her animal lust awakens, Stella must walk the thin line that separates the business of pleasure from the more dangerous business of the heart or suffer the consequences.

The Voyeur by Kay Jaybee

Wealthy businessman and committed voyeur, Mark Parker, has a list of 13 fantasies he is intent on turning into reality. Travelling between his London flat, his plush Oxfordshire mansion, and Discreet, his favourite BDSM club; Mark is helped to realise his imaginatively dark erotic desires by two loyal members of his staff – his personal assistant, Anya Grant, and his housekeeper, Clara Hooper.

Upon the backs of his willing slaves, Mark has written out his fantasy list in thick red pen. Only Fantasy 12 awaits the tick of completion against their flesh before Mark’s ultimate fantasy, Fantasy 13, can take place. But have the girls performed well enough to succeed in the final challenge? And what hold does Bridge’s gentleman’s club, Anya’s previous employer and a place she was delighted to escape from, have over Mark?

In order to find out, the girls are going to have to face some of the fantasies they thought they had left behind them all over again.

 

 

Buy The Collared Collection here:

http://mybook.to/collaredcollection

 

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Extract from The Pet Shop:

 

Anne helped herself to a glass and found the gin. ‘Remember I told you my therapist said that with my
relationship issues, before I got involved with a man, I should start with a plant?’

Stella nodded, ‘And if you didn’t kill the plant, work your way up to a gold fish, than maybe a cat or dog. Yeah, I remember. So?’

Anne plopped an ice cube in her glass. ‘What if I don’t like goldfish? And maybe I’m allergic to cats and I’m afraid of dogs. Well…’ She nodded toward the lounge where Tino was.

‘What? Is the RSPCA adopting out men these days?’

‘Even better.’ Anne moved closer to Stella and spoke softly around a wicked smile. ‘There’s a site called The Pet Shop. They set people up with Pets, and I’m not talking cats and dogs here, Stel. It’s temporary, only for a night, a weekend at the most.’

‘You’re kidding, right?’

‘Hon, I wouldn’t joke about something as yummy as Tino.’ She offered a naughty giggle. ‘Anyway, if I had to venture a guess, I’d say having a Pet occasionally would probably suit people like us much better than having a relationship. Our conversation the other day made me think a Pet might be exactly what you need. You certainly seem to be responding well to Tino.’ She gave Stella’s tits a passing stroke with her free hand. ‘I’d say your nips approve.’

Stella slapped her away. She had lamented to Anne that with the demands of her job, she had no time for a relationship, but someone working as hard as she did surely deserved a good shag once in awhile. They had been walking along the Serpentine at the time. Anne had laughed around the mango ice lolly she had been practically fellating. Stella had assumed that meant she realized it was a joke.

She grabbed the gin bottle and poured herself a double.

‘Tino’s very low maintenance, well behaved, at least most of the time anyway, clean, quiet.’S6304891

‘Jesus, Annie, this is a bloke your talking about, not a stray cat.’

‘Come on,’ Anne grabbed Stella’s hand and led her back toward the lounge. ‘If he’s left alone too long, he gets bored and sometimes gets in trouble.’

‘What the hell’s he going to do, piss on the carpet?’

‘Don’t be daft. He’s house broken, but unlike most blokes, he always remembers to put the toilet seat back down.’

 

 

 

 

 

Celebrating The Collared Collection: Interview with a Pet

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I can’t tell you how excited I am about the upcoming release of The Collared Collection – my chance to be in cahoots with Kay Jaybee! The Collared Collection puts The Voyeur and The Pet Shop together in a two-volume box set. It’s such a pleasure to see our names together on a box set that contains two of our very favourite, and possibly our kinkiest works.

 

The Collared Collection is a two novel boxed set from the pens of multi-award winning erotica writers, Kay Jaybee and Kd Grace .

 

The Collared Collection is up for pre-order now, so nab yours early and enjoy all the kink and all the sizzle that much faster. You won’t regret it.

 

Pre-order The Collared Collection Here:

http://mybook.to/collaredcollection

 

And in honour of The Collared Collection and to titillate you a bit, here’s and interview with Tino from The Pet Shop. Enjoy!

 

Collared bundle - CopyThe Collared Collection Box Set Blurb:
In The Voyeur by Kay Jaybee, wealthy businessman and committed voyeur, Mark Parker, has a list of 13 fantasies he is intent on turning into reality. Travelling between his London flat, his plush Oxfordshire mansion, and Discreet, his favourite BDSM club; Mark is helped to realise his imaginatively dark erotic desires by two loyal members of his staff – his personal assistant, Anya Grant, and his housekeeper, Clara Hooper.

Upon the backs of his willing slaves, Mark has written out his fantasy list in thick red pen. Only Fantasy 12 awaits the tick of completion against their flesh before Mark’s ultimate fantasy, Fantasy 13, can take place. But have the girls performed well enough to succeed in the final challenge? And what hold does Bridge’s gentleman’s club, Anya’s previous employer and a place she was delighted to escape from, have over Mark?

In order to find out, the girls are going to have to face some of the fantasies they thought they had left behind them all over again.

 

In The Pet Shop by KD Grace: In appreciation for a job well done, Stella James’s boss sends her a pet, a human pet. The mischievous Tino comes straight from The Pet Shop complete with a collar, a leash, and an erection. Stella soon discovers the pleasure of keeping Pets, especially this one, it’s extremely addicting. Obsessed with Tino and with the reclusive philanthropist, Vincent Evanston, who looks like Tino, but couldn’t be more different, Stella is drawn into the secret world of The Pet Shop. As her animal lust awakens, Stella must walk the thin line that seperates the business of pleasure from the more dangerous business of the heart or suffer the consequences.

 

Interview with a Pet

I was really lucky to get an interview with Tino because Tino’s The Pet Shop’s most popular Pet, and his schedule is always full. But just looking at those lovely dark eyes and that bedroom mussed auburn hair, I can see why. Anyway, Tino had to work me in to his schedule, after all he does have a starring role in MY novel, and now in The Collared Collection, so he owes me.

KD: Welcome, Tino! *smooths hair, checks breath in hand* It’s lovely of you to let me interview you. I just want to say that it’s a real pleasure to meet you in person and…

Oh, sorry folks, I just remembered, The Pet Minder’s Manual says Pets only wear clothes in public and
they’re much more comfortable naked. I certainly wouldn’t want Tino to be uncomfortable, so I’ll just get him out of this shirt. (breathe, KD, Breathe!) And now the trousers and then we can get on with the… Oh my! *checks to make sure she’s not actually drooling*

There now, that’s better, isn’t it, Tino? Ah, that’s sweet. Tino’s sitting on the floor now with his head resting on my thigh. I think that means he likes me. I have been assured that he won’t bite… not unless I tell him to. Though I do hear he has a reputation for being a bit naughty at times. I suppose that’s my fault because, well, I did write him that way. Anyway, on with the interview.

KD: So, Tino, tell us about being a Pet. What’s it like having a keeper for a weekend and letting them take care of you and feed you and bathe you? And what’s it like taking care of their needs, if you know what I mean.

Tino: …..

KD: Um … I know the Pet Minder’s manual says that Pets don’t talk. Okay, I can understand that, Tino, d21d10b7afd3ca521ab7d563891fc7a7I understand you staying in character and all. No doubt that’s what makes having a Pet such a stimulating experience. But this is an interview. I mean you’re not really MY Pet. Surely you could just give us a little clue. After all I did write you, remember?

Tino: …

KD: Okay, maybe that question’s a bit personal. We certainly don’t want to infringe on the privacy of any of your keepers, Tino. Here’s a good question, and I’m sure our readers are dying to know. I’ve heard that no one actually knows where The Pet Shop is, not even the Pets. I’ve heard that Pets come and go by way of black vans and they never see the route. Is that true? I’ve heard that some people have chosen to become full-time Pets and never leave the Pet Shop, but others, like you, enjoy having a keeper. Why do you suppose that is?

Tino: ….

KD: Tino? Tino what are you doing? Tino, stop that! Stop that right now. You’re a bad boy! You know you’re not supposed to play with your… er to behave badly during an interview. *whispers next to Tino’s ear* Look, Tino, I know you want to play, but I’m trying to do an interview here, for godsake!

Oh dear. Jeez. This is a bit embarrassing, everyone, I do apologize. He’s bent over offering me his bottom. And the manual does say that naughty Pets have to be punished. It says they have to be taught who’s the alpha in the Pet/keeper relationship, and… er I guess that would be me. It says that I either need to use my hand or a rolled up newspaper on that lovely backside. Could you folks excuse me for just a minute. *spanks luscious offered-up, bare bottom until it’s nice and pink.*

Wow! I never realized before just how a good spanking applied to a tight, muscular bottom can sting one’s hand. Oooh, that’s tender! Never mind.

Now then, where were we? Oh yes. You’re probably wondering why I’m interviewing a Pet from the Pet Shop when he isn’t allowed to even speak. Well, first of all, let me just say if you could see this luscious pink bottom, and the rest of the package you wouldn’t have to ask.

But, actually that’s only a part of the reason I wanted to interview Tino. You see, I have it on good authority that in his life in the real world, Tino’s actually the reclusive, richer-than-God eco-warrior, and entrepreneur, Vincent Evanston. Problem is, no one has seen the man in ages. But Stella James has shown me archive photos of Vincent Evanston, and we agree. He sure looks a lot like Tino.

Actually, I was able to catch up with Vincent Evanston. I managed to get hold of his unlisted Blackberry number. You probably wonder how I could manage that. Well, it’s simple really. He’s my characterJ I thought since he could talk and Tino might not be willing to that maybe I could get a statement from him.

Poor timing on my part, really. I caught him in the woods photographing pileated woodpeckers. He really didn’t appreciate the interruption. But when I asked him if he were Tino, he just sort of growled at me and said, I quote, ‘Tino’s not here.’ Then he hung up on me. Kind of rude, really, but you can be that way when your rich and brooding, and you look like…well you look like Tino. Only with clothes – outdoorsy, manly, sexy sort of clothes…

Well folks, I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed. I’m a pretty good interviewer, and I was sure if anyone could get Tino to talk, I could. But instead, he’s just sitting on the floor licking my leg with that delicious, pink tongue of his. He’s sitting kind of tenderly on that tight little bottom I just spanked, which I have to say, leaves his impressive package, rather well-exposed. *Makes an effort not to look. Sort of.* Still, I did write Tino, after all. If anyone can get him to talk, it should be me. Let’s try again.


KD:
Tino, rumour has it you’re spending an awful lot of time with Stella James, that new employee over at the Stridgida Company. I hear she’s scheduled you to spend yet another weekend with her. She knows you’re not cheap, right? Frankly I’m surprised she’d have you at all, since I hear she’s a bit of a prude.

Tino:… *Nips KD’s thigh and rubs himself against it*

KD: Ouch! I thought you weren’t supposed to bite unless I asked. So, can I take that to mean Stella’s no prude? Maybe we’ve worked out a code here, folks, a way of communicating that doesn’t involve talking. This is a good sign – a nip on the thigh for no, and a lick for yes? How about that, Tino? Will that work? Oooh! Not sure what that meant. Never mind, let’s try to get on with it. So tell me, Tino, is it possible that a certain very popular Pet might be a little bit smitten? Tino! Tino, stop humping my leg! God, this is so embarrassing. Stop it right now or I’ll have to punish you again.

Wait a minute. I get the feeling you might be liking this whole spanking thing just a little too much.

Let’s talk a little more about Stella James. I heard while Stella was in Oregon on business, she actually met Vincent Evanston, quite by accident. Sorry Tino, but that sounds like way more than a coincidence to me. And if anyone can get to the bottom of this whole Tino/Vincent mystery, well I think Stella is the 7401867966b49d9e25e799def0c09daewoman to do it. Surely you have something to say about that, Tino?

Tino:

KD: Tino! Tino stop it. I’m trying to type an interview here and you can’t be blrrrrk me. Tino, am I going to have to spknf;asdoj you again? Tino, move! I can’t see the monitor with yourmcdksn in my xmdlos;pa.

Umm, looks like that’s it for the interview, folks I’m happy we hadal ldkf;lkeoi. I hope you’ll alkmlasdfl The Collared Collection and that you vrpeyx@@@ Kay Jaybee’s novel, The Voyeur, and the xcdewpelkfj; my novel, The Pet Shop to find out the trsa;ldkfj about Tino and Vincent. Thanks again, for ssssssdrpioeu me. Now if you’ll excuse me I really have to punnlaknsf a naughty Pettttttttt.