It’s totally MY pleasure to participate in the Sh!Christmas Pleasure Hunt!
Sh! Women’s Store is one of my favourite places on the planet because Sh! and I have a history. I did my very first erotica reading at Sh! back when I was a newbie smutter. Sh! has always been my go-to place for research. I’ve picked the always-helpful Sh! Ladiez’ brains about spanking, corsetry and lube, and for my first novel, The Initiation of Ms Holly, the lovely Renee brought me up to speed on pegging. I don’t mind saying I looked pretty bad-ass in a strap-on (over my trousers, of course) I’ve also been lucky enough to host several informative, sexy and fun posts from Renee at Sh! on my blog. There’s never a shortage of laughter and camaraderie at Sh!. I had my first ever novel launch party at Sh!, and all the others since. I’ve been to all sorts of wonderful readings and events at Sh!. I’ve participated in classes, I’ve asked myriad questions, I’ve stopped in just to say Hi. The Sh! Ladiez are my heroes. They are brave and strong and wonderful, and without a doubt, they are the real treasures in this treasure hunt.
A special thanks to Kristina Lloyd, who orchestrated the cunning plan for the Sh! Christmas Pleasure Hunt.
From today (Friday 7th) until Monday (10th), twelve erotica authors will be secreting pieces of information on their blog posts. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to follow the trail, collect this info and enter a draw to win all kinds of awesome stuff!
Sh! is a shop much loved by erotica authors in the UK and US. Not only does the store sell an amazing range of top-quality products and sexy books, the Sh! Girlz are hugely supportive of what we do as writers. Many of us have been involved in readings at the London store, and have been lucky enough to sample the Sh! Girlz’ cupcakes! Time Out voted Sh! London’s best sex shop for women. We couldn’t agree more.
Last week, the Sh! website was down, thanks to the curmudgeonly efforts of crackers. Happily, the site is now back, as proudly pink as ever, and so, in the words of the song, December Will be Magic Again!
To celebrate, we’re hosting our Christmas Pleasure Hunt and Sh! are kicking off their Filthy Friday!
Authors playing along are: Janine Ashbless, Justine Elyot, Kay Jaybee, KD Grace, Lexie Bay, Lily Harlem, Lucy Felthouse, Remittance Girl, Sommer Marsden, Tabitha Rayne, Tamsin Flowers, Victoria Blisse
That’s quite a line up, no? The aim of the game is to find a word from the following Kate Bush lyric in a post from each of our participating authors:
That word will link to a sexy Sh! product. Check out the link, note down the price. At the end of the hunt, add up all 12 prices you’ve collected. That total is your answer!
There will be three posts per day, starting today, going across the weekend, and finishing on Monday. Each post will link to the three authors who’ll be posting on the following day.
After Monday, email your answer (the total price of all linked products) to Sh! (firstname.lastname@example.org). All correct answers will go into a draw. One lucky winner gets a bumper bag of goodies from Sh! Thirteen runners up will receive a book (print or digital) from one of the authors on board (including me). It’s a snowfall of smut!
A snippet of The Collection from Sh!’s Sex: the Bible
‘Tell me about your collection,’ Alex says. He nods to the dildos spread across my bed and overflowing onto the nightstand and the dressing table.
I fiddle with the sash of my silk robe like I’m some innocent, all embarrassed by the gaze of a cute boy. I’m not. ‘Aren’t they lovely?’ I say. ‘I have glass ones and curved ones and Lucite ones and heavy metal ones that are sort of like taking the vag to a gym for some serious weight lifting.’
He laughs nervously and shifts on the chair. I know he’s fighting a hard-on. I continue. ‘I have slender ones and thick ones, ones that look like real penises.’ I have one that’s an actual replica of the cock of an ex, but I don’t tell him that. I don’t want to intimidate him. My hand slides absently into my robe to cup my tits and tweak the nipples already stretched in anticipation. I nod to the dildo resting closest to my right thigh. ‘This is the lovely jade one I found in a fetish shop in Soho.
‘Oh, and the stone one… Well it’s actually only a stone I found on a walk. But it looks so much like a cock that it had to join the collection. I call it my cock rock.’
Alex’s eyes get big when I pull the stone from my pocket. It’s not a Neolithic sex toy or anything like that. It’s just a cock-shaped stone, but somehow that makes it even hotter. ‘Nature provides,’ I say. Then I wriggle and shift my bottom until my back is against the headboard. I open my legs and bend my knees and the hem of the robe falls open. I can feel the cool air on my bare pussy, and I hear Alex’s breath hitch. I’m wet, so totally wet. I’m always wet when I spend time with my collection.
I make an expansive gesture with my right hand that causes the front of my robe to gape. ‘They’re not just to look at, my dildos.’ I thumb my clit, then finger myself open, feeling swollen and heavy. ‘I make sure every one of my lovelies gets a good workout.’
‘All of them,’ I say. ‘I have a schedule, you see.’ I nod to the dressing table where there’s a purple velvet journal lying open with a fountain pen marking the spot. ‘And I take notes. I take notes on each of my experiences with every dildo.’
I watch his face, but he’s not looking at me. His eyes are locked on the stone dildo, like it’s a snake, like it’s alive. Like he can’t believe I’m going to put it up my pussy. I stroke myself, and maybe it’s the smell of me all wet and nasty, or maybe it’s that he’s never seen a naked, gaping pussy about to gorge on dildos of the world, but he just stares and shifts his ass against the chair, back and forth. I can see the outline of his cock. I don’t miss these sorts of details, not being a dildo connoisseur, as I am, not being the type of person who obsesses on the shapes and sizes and textures and finesse of implements that might be introduced into my cunt for the pure tactile pleasure of it.