Last week there was a programme on Channel One called ‘Why Men Watch Porn.’ The short answer, as one reviewer put it, is to have a wank. No surprise there. But there was one conclusion that I found very interesting. In a survey of a thousand men in the UK, the ones who seemed to watch and enjoy porn most were the ones who were most creative and most empathetic. I’m not sure how the researchers went about testing creativity or empathy or what actually led to the conclusion, but it made perfect sense to me once I’d thought about it.

 Porn isn’t exactly known for its creativity nor for its empathetic characters. Perhaps that’s exactly why it appeals to the creative and the empathetic. It serves as a template. The watcher fills in the blanks. However, if a person isn’t good at letting the imagination take control to put him in a similar situation, but one more personally arousing, then porn remains just a template and isn’t all that interesting.

 In a totally unrelated study, the American Psychology Association’s Journal of Family Psychology reports that couples who abstain from sex before marriage report having better relationships. According to the study, couples who have sex early in their relationship often confuse lust and the emotions associated with it for a genuine personal connection. Some people claim they feel it’s important to have sex with a person right away to make sure they are compatible. But having good sex is a learnable skill, something couples can work on together. Having nothing in common, however, means no place to start.

 Which brings me back to watching porn, possibly as a coping mechanism, for both men and women, during the period of abstinence before marriage to help insure a better relationship? Of course there’s always high quality erotica to fill that niche:)