Cover Reveal: Sweet Spot by Lucy Felthouse (@cw1985)

Guest Blogger, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sweet SpotA Raw Talent book.

(unapproved blurb)

Virginia Miller is an up-and-coming tennis star. She’s gone from a ratty tennis court in a park in south London, England, to the world’s top training facility – Los Carlos Tennis Academy in California. In awe of the talent around her—Travis Connolly, Rufus Lampani and Nadia Gorlando, Virginia is all the more determined to make the most of the opportunity and show that she’s worthy of her place there. Her mentor, Nadia Gorlando, has every faith in her. But Virginia finds herself distracted—Nadia, as well as being a top notch tennis player, is seriously sexy, and Virginia’s mind keeps wandering where it shouldn’t. Will her crush get in the way of her career, or can she find a way to push the other woman out of her mind before it’s too late?

More info and excerpt: http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk/published-works/sweet-spot/

Add to your Goodreads shelves: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21521972-sweet-spot

*****

Lucy Felthouse is a very busy woman! She writes erotica and erotic romance in a variety of subgenres and pairings, and has over 100 publications to her name, with many more in the pipeline. These include several editions of Best Bondage Erotica, Best Women’s Erotica 2013 and Best Erotic Romance 2014. Another string to her bow is editing, and she has edited and co-edited a number of anthologies, and also edits for a small publishing house. She owns Erotica For All, and is book editor for Cliterati. Find out more at http://www.lucyfelthouse.co.uk. Join her on Facebook and Twitter, and subscribe to her newsletter at: http://eepurl.com/gMQb9

London Faerie: Playing with Consciousness Part 1

Blog, Guest Blogger, Inspiration, , , , , ,

Though I’d met London Faerie before and seen his amazing sacred BDSM demonstrations,  Eroticon 2014 was the first chance we’d had for a real conversation. And when the topic was something as multifaceted as sex and spirituality, I knew I wanted to have Faerie guest on A Hopeful Romantic. The resulting guest post on the topic of ‘head space,’ ended up way too amazing to cram into one post. So, please welcome London Faerie, for Part 1 of Playing with Consciousness! (see Part 2 on 31st March)

*****

In my work I teach people how to play with consciousness. This sounds a bit grand and, to many people, rather spiritual. However KD’s asked me to write about ‘head spaces’, and this is a great opportunity for me to talk about how you don’t need to believe in God, the Universe or anything else to experience these altered states.

Firstly it’s good to define what we’re talking about here. In everyday life our minds are busy and active with many thoughts, and our attention goes to the past and the future as well as the present moment. I see this as a horizontal reality, where we experience life in a linear way, with the present moment part of a narrative that extends backwards into the past and forward into the future.

Most of us have at times experienced a different space: a peak state, sometimes called ‘flow’, in which we lose ourselves completely in what we’re doing. When we’re in this flow state we lose track of time and everything but the present moment fades away Often this flow state happens London Faerie-23spontaneously and without us doing anything to move into it: for example, when we’re engaged with an interesting and difficult task, like repairing a bike or painting a picture. Instead of finding ourselves on a horizontal line, the present moment expands and we experience a more ‘vertical’ reality, in which we feel deeply connected with the world around us.

For those who are spiritually inclined, this state is often seen as connecting with a higher power: God/dess, the Universe, the Background Presence, All That Is or whatever you individually choose to name it. I don’t however feel that you need to believe in any of those things to experience altered states of consciousness. It’s enough to feel more presence, and in this increased presence to discover that you feel quite different.

These different head-states are special for a few reasons. First of all, they feel great. In his book Flow, Mihály Csíkszentmihályi talks about the flow state as optimal for human beings, a complete immersion that increases our mental capacity and makes us feel much better. He argues that happiness and flow are closely connected: the more time we spend in this peak state, the better we feel. Even though his book actively dismisses spirituality, I recongise that his discovery of the close link between presence and happiness is an important one.

As well as being good for us, going into altered states of consciousness is often very surprising. People report becoming much more attuned to each other, sometimes almost psychic in their ability to feel what is happening to each other. It’s common for people to think similar thoughts at the same moment, to ‘just know’ what to do in difficult situations and so on.

Whatever their beliefs, most people recognise this hyper-connected state as something they’ve experienced from time to time. It’s as if the veil of separateness drops and we experience our inter-connectedness as reality. We still know that we are individual, but we also remember that we’re part of the web of all life and that our thoughts and feelings connect us with everything and everyone else.

London Faerie-14Most of us know these altered head-spaces because we’ve been there, but often this happens haphazardly, by accident and without us being able to easily replicate it. So how do we learn to move in and out of this flow state at will?

Through the course of my explorations with BDSM and Tantra I’ve discovered that there are certain things we can do to enter these altered states again and again. One amazing tool is breath. It still staggers me that changing the way we breathe fundamentally changes the way we feel: it’s so simple and obvious yet it works every time.

When we think about it in reverse, it makes perfect sense. When we feel differently we automatically breathe differently. When anxious we breathe fast and shallow, and this way of breathing increases the anxious feelings; when aroused we breathe fast and deep, resulting in us feeling more ‘charged up’ and more aroused. How we feel and how we breathe are in a dynamic relationship with each other, each affecting the other, taking us into a virtuous or vicious cycle.

Playing with breath deliberately is a simple way to play with consciousness. In Tantra we learn how to become more relaxed through one type of breath, how to turn ourselves on through another and how to become more present and alert through yet another. Similarly we play with breath in BDSM: holding someone’s breath when they have a lungful to induce panic, holding it when their lungs are empty so they feel relaxed and spacy.

If your interest has been piqued by what I’ve written, I’m running two workshops in April where you can experience these altered states for yourself. On Sat 5th & Sun 6th April I co-lead Through The Portals, an experiential weekend introduction that includes BDSM, Tantra and breathwork. And on Sat 26th & Sun 27th April I lead The Purple Door, exploring ecstatic and altered states through BDSM. Find out more at http://sacredpleasures.co.uk

*****

Be sure to stop by next Monday, the 31st for the second instalment of London Faerie’s post on Playing with Consciousness. 

*****

Through the Portals Workshop:

5th & 6th April

The Purple Door Workshop:

26th & 27th April

www.sacredpleasures.co.uk

About London Faerie:

London Faerie-15London Faerie is a purveyor of authentic desire. He believes that you should ‘Follow Your Bliss‘, and offers a range of workshops, talks, salons and sessions to support people in doing so.

Faerie’s practice is wide-ranging, drawing from BDSM, shamanic healing, coaching, psychodrama and Tantra. He’s been practising and learning for over 12 years, and brings a wealth of experience and expertise to his groups and sessions. Faerie is the founder of Sacred Pleasures, the place where everything meets: a sex-positive community space where you can welcome more of yourself and make friends with everything you are.

Find London Faerie Here:

www.londonfaerie.co.uk

www.sacredpleasures.co.uk

blog.londonfaerie.co.uk (personal stuff)

Twitter: @londonfaerie

 

The Sex Toy Incentive

Blog, , ,

My husband, Raymond, is a great promoter of my work, and he’s been known to sell a novel or three through his extensive social media contacts, and word of mouth. He’s full of great ideas to gets more attention for my work. One of those ideas resulted in a discussion about teaming up sexy novels with sex toys to enhance the reading experience and encourage further purchases. Raymond is an engineer, a born problem solver, always trying to figure ways to make systems more efficient. He commented that this combination was great for print books, but what about eBooks? In true engineer fashion, he came up with the perfect solution, Kindles with ‘attachments!’ I reckon that would give a whole new meaning to the term Kindle Fire.

Sex toy incentiveMG00625-20140322-1049That got us thinking how many things could be improved with the extra-added incentive of a sex toy. Even a subtle little bullet vibe discretely packaged and slipped into the bags of fast-food take-out meals would make for better sales and vastly improve the quality of the meal. This could be the adult version of a Happy Meal … a Very Happy Meal. It would be a way to burn off those high-cal lunches and have a yummy ‘dessert’ that’s totally calorie-free and releases more endorphins than even good chocolate.

And fast food meals would be just the beginning. Imagine bullet vibes and cock rings instead of wafer thin mints at restaurants. Maybe each restaurant could have its name and info printed on the side, sort of like a calling card that won’t get tossed in the bottom of the bag and forgotten about. It would be a subtle little reminder that good food and good sex go together.

Sex toy incentives in hotel rooms would be even more beneficial – especially on those long, lonely business trips. Forget the ink pen and pad on the nightstand, forget the choccies on the pillow. A little vibe’ll do ya, or a Tenga Egg strategically placed, maybe a vibrating cock ring? Yes, I know a lot of hotels offer discrete access to steamy films, but you have to pay for those. It just seems to me that a little something extra on the night table or on the pillow would be such a nice way of saying, ‘we appreciate your business. Please come again.’

Restaurants and hotel rooms would only be the beginning of the sex-toys incentive program. Once people saw the benefit, I could see it becoming a way to promote better habits in the work place – efficiency being rewarded by a little personal time in the loo with the sex toy of the week. Sounds like the perfect carrot on the end of the stick to me.

From the work place, the sky’s the limits. I think sex toys would be fabulous incentive for negotiating treaties and trade-agreements. Win-win deals would be rewarded by vibes, cock rings and Tenga Eggs all around, then everyone would be off back to the hotel for a nice celebratory wank.

Now I can already imagine people complaining that sex for one would make a partner superfluous. My response to that is what’s fun for one is twice as much fun for two. And after spending time at the fabulous Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium in London drinking pink fizz, listening to steamy stories while totally surrounded by sex toys, I can say that a party with sex toys and fizz would not go unappreciated. I can’t think of a friendlier way to wrap up negotiations.

From sexy novels with vibes to Kindles with attachments to Tenga treaties Fleshlight finance, I think it’s an exciting vision for the future, a happier, more satisfied future all around. I can easily envision these pleasurable incentives as a way to make the world a better place, one sex toy at a time.

(from the archives)

The Delish Delores Deluxe Talks Body Confidence

Blog, Inspiration, Interviews, News, , , ,

KD: Welcome, Delores! It’s such a treat to have you back on A Hopeful Romantic, and discussing    such an exciting topic. Could you tell us what inspired you to begin a course on Body Confidence.

Delores Deluxe body confidencemini DDDD: I have been working on the cabaret and burlesque scene for nearly 10 years and have been teaching burlesque for about 5 years. I found during the regular burlesque classes that a lot of women felt unhappy or uncomfortable with their bodies and would often want to chat about this as part of the class. I felt that they were almost looking for permission to be open about their insecurities. I decided then I would create a new class with a focus on this and encouraging positive body image.

I’ve been sitting on this class for quite a while and haven’t really had time to follow it up but a change in my career situation recently has meant I’m now able to put all my energy into it, which is really exciting and challenging.

KD: What do you see as the main cause for women’s over-all lack of body confidence?

DD: I think there are many causes – I’m sure that many people have long-term deep-seated issues with their bodies that a couple of hours in a workshop won’t be able to address – I am not a psychologist! On a more general level, I do think the media has set a very unrealistic ‘body ideal’ for most women with their airbrushed and enhanced images on every magazine.

While I can understand that fashion magazines do, and have done this for years, my real issue is with the newer celebrity magazines where we see women berated on the front cover for having lost or gained weight, wearing unflattering clothes or nipping out without make-up. This sets a really dangerous example and puts enormous pressure on all women, particularly younger girls who feel they have to look a certain way to be accepted.

KD: Do you think women’s attitudes toward their bodies are getting better or worse with all of the interconnectedness of the internet and social media?

DD: I think the internet can have a positive influence in that it encourages discussion and can offer a wonderful support network, however,  it does give EVERYONE a voice and opinion and some of these can be deeply damaging and negative. I think the benefits outweigh the cons though – just keep away from the nasties!

KD: Could you tell us a bit about your own journey to body confidence, Delores.

DD: I trained and worked as an actor for many years before I moved into cabaret. I suspect anyone who has trained in a professional performing arts establishment and worked in that industry will at some point have felt pressure about their body and image, especially in dance and musical theatre. I powered through but being told  outright you’re too tall, too big or not pretty enough for something does have an effect regardless of the training you go through to deal with personal rejection. Moving into burlesque made a huge difference to my self-confidence and I finally felt that I was being judged on my performance abilities and skills rather than ‘looking Delores Deluxe Body confidenceTop hat DDright for a part’. Also the style element was something that I got right into immediately! I loved the clothes and the lingerie and it really helped me find my individual style, sourcing items for which,  is now one of my greatest passions and pleasures!

KD: What do you think is most detrimental to our body confidence?

DD: I think there many factors and everyone might feel differently. Some people have had negative influences in their early years, which are very hard to shake and reprogramme. Other people judge themselves too harshly and are constantly comparing themselves to others, which I think is really pointless. We are all unique and individual and need to try to focus on the positive rather than what we feel we are lacking.

KD: Why do you suppose body confidence issues are much more common among women than men? Why are men more comfortable in their bodies, no matter what they look like?

DD: I don’t think that’s true….. I think they are maybe just less vocal about it!

KD: Pop culture, airbrush mag covers and cosmetic surgery readily available for a price can take their toll on any woman’s body confidence. How can we combat that influence when we’re surrounded by it every day?

DD: We need to look at reality – what do you actually find attractive? There are so many beautiful women who don’t conform to standard or media ideals who look amazing. Being body shape aware and understanding how to dress for your body shape can make you feel like a million dollars!

I think surgery is a different issue – if someone is really unhappy and wants to change themselves with plastic surgery then they should feel free to do so for themselves but not because they feel they are expected to look a certain way.

KD: In the burlesque performances I’ve seen, I notice that there are women of all body sizes and shapes, and the confidence and sensuality all of these women exude on stage is amazing. Why, and how, does burlesque helps build body confidence?

DD: Burlesque is a feminine art form and, in its resurgence, is predominantly run by women which gives us control over what we create and what we want to see. Creating a routine and a character is a very personal thing and a great deal of ourselves and personalities go into it, which Delores Deluxe body confidenceKittens.8makes each performer unique. I believe that once we stop comparing ourselves to others then we can really begin to feel happier, more comfortable and positive in our own skins.

The classic burlesque style is also very flattering to all body shapes – the corsets which come in all styles, sizes and shapes mould perfectly to the individual body and enhance curves (if you have them) or create them (if you don’t) Hours of work and hundreds of pounds go into costuming so they have to make you feel amazing and ready to va va voom!

KD: How much does our attitude toward our bodies influence the other areas of our lives?

DD: I think any negativity can have a massive impact on our happiness and self-esteem, which then can influence the way we see ourselves and how we set our ambitions and our expectations. If we don’t treat ourselves with respect then it’s very easy to let this affect our careers, relationship and personal goals.

KD: If you could give one piece of advice to help women be more comfortable in their own skin, what would it be?

DD: Come to my class!!! Ha ha! Just give yourselves a break, girls! Focus on the things you do like and remember there is so much more to attractiveness than having your ideal body or perfect face. I also advocate surrounding yourself with a crack team of amazing friends – good for keeping body and soul together in times of trouble!

KD: Tell us a bit about the Body Confidence classes. When are they available? Where? Who can participate? How can we sign up?

DD: The class is a 90 minute workshop – it’s very nurturing, gentle and quite good fun! We’ll be focussing on looking at our bodies in a positive light and challenging the issues that hold us back from feeling like the goddesses we are!

The classes are every Saturday in Angel at:

The Joker of Penton Street

58 Penton Street

N1 9PZ

Class times are 11am 1pm and 3pm

£25pp

http://www.thekittenclub.com/dates-prices/classes/

About Delores Deluxe

Delores Deluxe body confidenceMini DD2

Delores Deluxe started out her cabaret career under a railway arch in Bermondsey in 2005 in the original line up of The Kitten Club. She is an established performer, programmer and promoter on the London burlesque and cabaret scene as well as founder and leader of London’s longest running troupe, The Kitten Club Cabaret which have been performing around London for 9 years. Having a 10 year background in classical acting and musical theatre, she was delighted to stumble into the emerging burlesque scene in London in 2005 and to put her skills to an exciting new use. Delores is also now enjoying working as a soloist on the cabaret and variety circuit with her comedy magic tricks and can generally be found wearing something polka dot!

www.thekittenclub.com
Twitter: @deloresdeluxe
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekittenclub

 

Renee Rose Talks Sex Magic in Avalon

Guest Blogger, New Releases, , , ,

One of the very best things about Eroticon is meeting new people, and one of those people I had the pleasure of meeting was the lovely and spankalicious Renee Rose, and I’m totally delighted to have her on A Hopeful Romantic today! Welcome Renee Rose! 

Renee Rose held for ransom10002819_421069491372812_32935404_nI had the immense pleasure of attending KD Grace’s workshop at Eroticon on Spirituality and Sex. The topic is one that has always intrigued me. I believe there is power and magic in sex and it can be as sacred an act as giving birth or transitioning to death.

In my new Avalon romance, a sex rite eventually brings the hero and heroine together, but the beginning of the relationship is full of tension. Ariana, a priestess of Avalon is kidnapped and held for ransom by a mercenary knight who seeks the release of his clan members from her brother’s dungeon. Keeping two characters cooped up in a small room together for a week (particularly when one character is tied up the entire time) gives a kinky author all kinds of opportunities for forced intimacies and deserved punishments.  Here’s a little snippet of their banter:

They were not taught to send curses at Avalon. She had been raised to bless, to elevate spirits, to bring harmony and peace. Yet, she knew the elders understood magic well enough to send evil, too. If she could send love to heal, she could also send hatred to harm.

After some concentrated effort, her captor’s eye began to twitch and a sweat broke out on his forehead.

“Lift your curse, highness.”

Her lips curved into a satisfied smile. She did not know what he felt, but it seemed her darkness had an effect. “What curse?” she asked innocently.

“Lift it.”

“Or what?”

“Please.”

She expected a threat, rather than supplication and his appeal unsteadied her. In truth, she feared the power coursing through her. It had an unfamiliar, dense darkness and her naval center felt heavy and sick.

“Do you tell me you do not deserve it?”

He rubbed one temple as if she had given him a headache. “Aye. I deserve it. Yet it does not serve either of us. Do you wish to be guarded by a wounded dog? I am far meaner when I am in pain.”

Blurb:

When Sir Gorran’s people disappear after a raid on a Saxon settlement, he kidnaps Princess Ariana, a priestess of Avalon, and demands their return. Though he knew he risked Ariana’s curse as well as a lifetime hiding from the king’s sword, he does not realize his greatest risk in holding the lovely princess for ransom is to his heart.

The intimacy shared with her kidnapper leaves Ariana wounded by the experience and his reappearance at the annual tournament only deepens her pain. When her brother foists him on her as a guardian and slave she must come to terms with her feelings for the dominant warrior. Will she send him away to his death, or will she realize her pain is only caused by living without him?

Renee Rose Spanking Romance10003387_421069588039469_1490927064_nPublisher’s Note: This book contains spanking, anal punishment and erotic sex scenes.

Buy Now on Amazon, Amazon UK, Barnes & Noble, ARe

Renee Rose is a modern dance teacher, Feldenkrais Practitioner(R), energy worker and kinkster. Named Eroticon USA’s Next Top Erotic Author in 2013, her books are all centered around her favorite kink: spanking.  She can be found on:

Blog

Twitter

Facebook

Goodreads

Pinterest