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Posts Tagged ‘women’s sexuality’

Fifty Shades of Pleasure from Renee at Sh!

It’s always my pleasure to have the fabulous Renee Denyer over from Sh! to give hot tips for hot sexy romance. It’s been my tradition to have Renee give some fab ideas for a sizzling Valentine’s Day and with the 50 Shade of Grey film coming out on the day, there are going to be lots of questions about ways of bringing a little ‘control’ into the bedroom. Who better to answer those questions that the fab Renee from SH!

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us and, with it, the long-awaited release of 50 Shades of Grey, the film. You may have read the books, and loved the idea of playing with control but felt unsure about how to go about it? If so, this blog post is for you! I’ll be sharing some of my best tips for sexy power exchange in  the bedroom. By the end of this post, you’ll be able to confidently recreate a Red Room experience for your lover on Valentine’s Day.

But first, let me introduce myself: I’m Renee, and I work at Sh!, the erotic emporium for women in Hoxton Square, east London. One of my many jobs is teaching classes on how to play kinky games in a safe manner, using  suitable implements and avoiding injuries. Many are surprised when I say that BDSM play doesn’t have to involve pain (unless you want it to, of course);  it’s more about pleasure and exchange of power. BDSM, for those who don’t know, stands for Bondage, Discipline/Domination/Submission/Sadism and Masochism. That sounds hard, I know, but it doesn’t have to be. For me, it just means “fun sex”!

Christian Grey is a Dominant who gets his kicks from playing with a submissive – someone who enjoys being on the receiving end of all sorts of kinky games. Being in control of your partner’s pleasure can be incredibly sexy – just like it can be incredibly sexy when someone else is in control of your pleasure, and this Valentine’s Day offers up the perfect opportunity to get your own Mr/Ms Grey on – channeling your inner Dominant. Who needs the cinema when you can do it for real at home?

Fifty-Shades-of-Sh

These are a few of my favourite things…

Ambiance

Christian has a Red Room, and you can easily recreate this at home by switching your normal 60W bulb for a red one. And make sure the temperature is comfortable for someone who’ll be lying down naked – a chilly room does not make for sexy games…

Playlist

Whatever kind of music you find sexy and seductive – create a play list and play it on low. Start off slow and finish on a hard, driving beat – let the music be your cue for when it’s time to switch it up.

Blindfold

Slipping a blindfold over a partner’s eyes works well in a number of ways. Firstly, if you are feeling shy or awkward in your new Dominant persona, placing a blindfold over your lovers’ eyes will make you seem masterful, decisive and oh-so-sexy. He/she won’t see that you’re feeling a little bit out of your comfort zone. Also, taking away their visual reference will ensure all their other senses are on high alert. It’s a win! For extra bonus points, use a blindfold (or scarf) that smells of your – your partner will be tripping on your sexy scent in no time.

Safe Word

It’s time to introduce a safe word. A safe word will let you know that your partner has had enough and needs the game to stop – immediately. In true 50 shades- style you could use “popsicle”, or you could make up your own word. Make sure it’s a word neither of you would ever use during sex.  Whisper “I want you to say popsicle if you want me to stop” in their ear, and make them repeat it back to you to ensure they understand.

pink-black-satin-ties

Restraints

Wriggling against restraints whilst being pleasured is sweet torture. I particularly like these long, satin ties with D-Rings. Use the ties to restrain your partner to the bedposts, and he/she will be able to relax and let you look after them in all manner of ways.

Feather

Using something soft like a feather or a pair of silky knickers (kinky!) is a wonderful way of kicking off a long night, relaxing and softly arousing… Avoid the feet if your lover is tickly – having your feet tickled can most definitely ruin the mood!

massage-candles

Fire and Ice

Playing with temperature is always sexy. Alternate between ice cubes and wax candles for out-of-this-world sensations. Draw patterns with the ice cubes for thrills, and the offer pops of heat for contrast. These wax candles are my favorites (word of warning here: don’t use table candles from IKEA). These candles burn at a lower temperature, so are perfectly safe for play.  Drip from a height for a slightly cooler pop of heat, or drip close to the body for a more intense sensation. The wax brushes off easily after play.

Pinwheels (or Other Pervertables)

A Wartenburg pinwheel looks like a mini-sized pastry cutter, but feel amazing on skin. Roll gently along the skin and you’ll likely be rewarded with low moans of pleasure. Don’t worry if you don’t have a pinwheel at hand; this sensation can be easily recreated using a table fork. This is what we call “pervertables” – everyday items that can be used for fun sex sessions!

nipple-clamps

Nipple Clamps

Adding a pair of pretty clamps will add pressure on the nipples, and leave your hands free for other things. I recommend clamps that come with varying degrees of pressure. Start off gently, and don’t leave the clamps on for too long – it’s often more intense to have the clamps removed, so be gentle when doing this.

Leather Paddle

Use a leather paddle for gentle spanking. Start off slow and build intensity as your submissive gets more and more turned on – timing is key here. Ask your lover to rate each blow between 1 (low) and 10 (high) and  you’ll get an idea of how hard to strike. Start off at a 3 and work your way up to an 8. Remember to kiss and stroke those butt-cheeks in-between blows.

Big Finale

By this point, your partner is probably gagging for release, and you can choose how to give it to them – you’re in control, after all! For a male partner, I recommend using a Tenga Egg. It’ll feel like several mouths working his shaft all in one go – just amazing. For a female, using a deep tissue massager like Wand on her pubic bone/clit is likely to bring her off with a massive bang!

So there you have it – a few easy tips on how to create your own 50 Shades-experience for Valentine’s Day! 

Whips

And, before I go;   I have 10 pairs of tickets to my next Spanking class to give away – enter this competition if you’d like to learn more about sensual spanking. 10 winners will be picked at random on 13th February, so hurry!

Renée xx

Thanks for having me, KD – it’s been brilliant fun as usual! 

Renée is the Award Winning Store Manager (ETO 2014) at female-focused erotic boutique Sh!. She has her fingers in many pies and spends her days talking about G-spots, P-spots and any other spots you may have found in your nether regions. When she is not selling sex toys to the women & couples of London, she can be found at home with a thrilling book and a glass of pink wine, surrounded by her beloved bunnies (of the furry variety). She writes a regular column for Erotic Trade Only magazine and dreams of penning a bestselling sex guide one day.

Keep up with Renée and the rest of Team Sh! on all your favourite social media channels:
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram

Sh!

57 Hoxton Square, London N1 6PB

www.sh-womenstore.com

0333 – 444 005

 

 

 

Sex and Relationship Therapist, Sarah Berry Talks Shop, Kink & ‘What’s Normal’

It’s my pleasure to welcome Sarah Berry, good friend, sex and relationship therapist and all around fabulous person, to A Hopeful Romantic to talk about her work with us.

Sarah BerryKD: Sarah, when you and I first met, you were the editor of Forum Magazine, and you were also a very talented writer in your own right. During the time I’ve know you, you founded the Fannying Around Women’s Group and always had an understanding of what was lacking in the area of women’s sexual health and the information and sources of information that are available. Becoming a sex and relationship therapist was the logical next step for you. What was the biggest change for you?

SB: Thanks KD. I think learning to be myself was a challenge. As a journalist at events I had to be larger than life as I was competing with a lot of other journalists to get the column inches. That said, when I was interviewing people on a one to one basis, I was much happier and relaxed.

When I started training some years ago, I thought therapists had to be this blank canvas with no discernable personality. I stopped wearing colourful clothes and tried to be very serious. But I realised that being human was very important to the process and that the way I was in my journalist interviews was more the person I should be as a therapist, things fell into place.

Now I am a professional version of myself, which means I am not trying to be something I am not, so I can concentrate fully on the client. Rather than being stuffy, disconnected and serious, I am warm, empathetic and down to earth. The relationship I build with the client is a huge part of the process in person centred therapy, as is being genuine, congruent and transparent.

KD: Sarah, you recently said to me, and I quote, ‘I actually think while some (people who lead alternative lifestyles) are having the life of Riley others are confused while others assume all therapists wouldn’t understand alt lifestyles (and I hate the word alt like I hate the word vanilla).’ Could you comment on this statement and tell us how that has affected the direction your career as a sex and relationship therapist will take.

SB: The media is quick to sensationalise kinksters, assume they are all survivors of abuse or fear they are all wannabe criminals. So the kinksters defend themselves by pointing out how the BDSM scene is very well policed and their mantra of being safe, sane and consensual. So there is a “them and us” type situation.

The reality is some people have a great time, some are working out what they want, some are new to the scene, some are veterans, some are still learning, some spend their time spouting dogma about the “right way” to do things… You don’t need to label yourself as a kinkster to enjoy a spot of spanking, and you don’t have to relish pain in order to be kinky. Some kinksters have been abused and successfully use kink to work through their pain while others can harm themselves by reliving the trauma. It is complicated; things can go wrong and things can go right. I will be blogging about being kinky on my new website http://www.LondonKinkTherapist.co.uk.

Because of this difficult backdrop I try to listen to my clients and not make assumptions about what they do or how they think. Just because someone is into BDSM (which stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission and sadomasochism) it does not mean this is the cause of their problem. Sometimes people do use kink to harm themselves but it doesn’t mean they must eschew all kinky practices in order to have a healthy sex life. Each person, couple or group I see is different and we work out what they want and need together then we work out how to help them get there.

KD: Sarah, I know a little more about the journey that led you down the path to therapist than most people do, and it’s an amazing journey. Would you share some of it with our readers please.

SB: I think you’re meaning that I have overcome my own psychosexual issues. My struggle with vaginismus inspired me to start Fannying Around. But even though I have overcome it, I think sex is a journey for everyone – whether you choose to have it, can’t have it, are alone, have a permanent partner or enjoy a variety of partners at a time. I am always learning and open to new thoughts and ideas. If I wasn’t I think I would be a rather jaded therapist.

KD: Are there future plans for Fannying Around?

SB: I do really want to bring Fannying Around back. It was a wonderful forum and I learned a lot from the members. I will be sure to let you know.

KD: What was most difficult about your transition from editor/journo to sex and relationship therapist?

SB: I think it has actually gone pretty smoothly. I always cared about what I wrote and I had the luxury of writing for the people that I was covering – rather than being sensational. Now I am even more mindful of being inclusive of sexualities, genders and preferences which can be a bit tricky when giving quotes to heteronormative places that want you to fit into their neat way of thinking.

KD: What do you think keeps people from seeking out the help that’s readily available for them, the helpSarahBerry therapists like you provide?

SB: I think people assume you need to be experiencing real tragedy or be really “fucked up” in order to see a therapist. But everyone has stuff, and at different times this can affect our relationships, work and social lives more than others. To be in therapy doesn’t mean you are a victim. In fact I have a great respect for anyone who walks into my office.

Therapy can help you unpick a problem, work out solutions, help you improve communicating – especially if your arguments always follow the same pattern and neither one of you feels heard – or deal with unresolved issues or grief from the past.

Some people fear seeing a therapist will open a can of worms, maybe if they have experienced grief or do not want to disrupt a currently amicable relationship with a family member. But it is possible to deal with any disruption from past events by looking at what is happening in the here and now. If you do not want to relive the past you do not have to. You are in control at all times.

KD: Could you talk a little bit about ‘what’s normal’ from the standpoint of a therapist? I know this is something that is always a hot topic, and more than likely one of the main reasons people seek you out.

SB: I’m always hearing statements like: “I just want to be normal,” “I want a normal relationship,” “Our sex life isn’t normal. But the idea that there is a normal is massive misconception. Everyone is different. We all have different ideas of what good sex is or what we want from a relationship – if we want one at all. And what this idea of normal does is alienate anyone who feels they are normal; it creates freaks out of anyone who feels they don’t want a lot of sex, or who maybe has a fetish or who doesn’t want to be married. A “problem” is only a problem if it impedes your own sense of what you want, disrupts your work, social life or relationships and/or if you are causing harm to others. But this doesn’t necessarily mean you need to completely change yourself to fit in with the norm. It could be that you can find a new way to express yourself. Life would be boring if we were all the same, fancied the same people or had the same desires.

KD: What does the future hold for Sarah Berry, sex and relationship therapist?

SB: Well I will continue with my private practise and carry on learning about the world of sex and relationships. I would also like to do more group therapy and more writing.

KD: How can people get in touch with you?

SB: You can contact me through my website sarahberrytherapy.co.uk, via email at sarah@sarahberrytherapy.co.uk or call me on 07581 231313.

 

 

 

Zak Jane Keir’s Response to Acting Like an Erotica Writer

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called Acting Like An Erotica Writer. That post got some very insightful feedback, not the least of which came from the fantastic novelist, Zak Jane Keir. Ever the opportunist, I asked Jane if she would write a post for A Hopeful Romantic based on her insights, and fortunately for all of us, she said yes. Welcome, Zak!

Let’s be clear, it’s not about who you, particularly, are. It’s not about what you, particularly, write.  As writers, we all do our stuff as best we can, and enjoy it as much as we can, and if we’re asked to explain it or talk about doing it, we manage that as best we can, as well.

That I am sick to death of this fucking trope, and that I think it’s actually harmful to women, to feminism, and to the individual writers who’ve been fed to it (I doubt that many of the writers portrayed in this way are deliberately emphasizing their own ‘harmlessness’ to this extent), is not an attack on either any individual writer nor on the fact that some people ARE heteromonogamous, shy, ‘respectable’, gentle, parents, suburban or anything else like that. It’s fine to be who you are. It’s fine to write what you write.

There is a conflicting, confused desire for ‘authenticity’ from fiction writers; the old ‘write what you know’ advice which is often misinterpreted as ‘write about your own experiences’. That’s, obviously, a bit silly: if you think JK Rowling really has a wand to cast spells with, you’re probably a bit too dim to be let out of the house. Same goes if you think that Ian Rankin, Ruth Rendell or Sara Paretsky have really murdered people in order to ‘know how it feels’. This doesn’t make it OK to make honking factual errors just because you’re writing fiction: the editors at Mills and Boon allegedly still giggle about the proposal submitted to them which featured an Australian sheep farm menaced by tigers. (Perhaps the author should have tried to insist that his/her novel was set in an alternate reality?)Zak's post

Just about every feature published (on or offline) about women who write explicit fiction hammers home the same message: the contrast between the writer and the writing. Mothers! Mumsy! Grandmas! They KNIT! They GO TO CHURCH! They wear cardigans and love their hubbies! They offer the hardbitten male journo a nice cup of tea and a home-baked cake! The trouble with the mainstream media’s absolutely frantic casting of female erotic writers as either sweet old dears or nervous virgins is that it perpetuates the idea that women don’t really like real sex. Because, actually, the idea of women liking sex, seeking sex, having sexual autonomy, is really scary and threatening to the status quo. Any media which is set up to cater to the idea of women’s autonomous sexuality gets stifled, compromised, belittled, mocked, and shut down. I speak from a degree of authentic personal experience: there comes a point, in creating, distributing and selling media, where you are confronted with The MAN who doesn’t get it. ‘Well, my wife wouldn’t like it, so it won’t sell.’ ‘’Yeah but you’re not a NORMAL woman, are you?’ ‘Yeah OK but you need to get advertising from companies that sell make up and clothes, so you can’t run that feature telling women that they’re sexy without doing any shopping.’

The fact that what a lot of women like, in terms of sexually-gratifying media, is not just dominant billionaire bastards proposing marriage to vacuous bimbos who are, invariably, much prettier than they really think is either left out of this mainstream portrayal of ‘Mummy Porn’ or noisily mocked as some sort of teeny-weeny subdivision of Peculiar Women. Because women are supposed to Respect the Cock, they’re not capable of regarding men as objects of desire or tools for their pleasure.

The writers who get featured in articles along the lines of ‘Nice Married Straight Suburban Mouse Who Knows Her Place Writes Silly Naughty Books’ are rarely asked about what they *actually* write. Because they might well say that their stories feature homoerotic shenanigans for the entertainment of women, or golden showers, or a female goddess accepting erotic sacrifice from a whole horde of powerful men, and that’s never going to be mentioned.

But if a female erotic writer lets it be known that she actually DOES some of this stuff, then, well, the world might end. Because women don’t do that. Really, they don’t, they can’t, it’s not possible. Not only would the sky fall in but men might have to consider women human.

About Zak:

Zak has been writing about sex and sexuality for over 20 years. She spent some time as a fetish/swingers club reviewer for Forum, and was involved in the founding of the now-defunct Guild Of Erotic Writers. She has been published in Swingmag, For Women, Desire, Forum and Penthouse in the past.

Links: Zak’s novel Black Heart is available in all ebook formats, check it out here http://www.amazon.co.uk/Black-Heart-Zak-Jane-Keir-ebook/dp/B00EALIOAI

Her stories have also appeared in a variety of places, including the Nexus anthology Spanked http://www.amazon.co.uk/Spanked-Peter-Birch-ebook/dp/B00DOL0J58/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1391647749&sr=1-1&keywords=spanked+peter+birch

 

 

 

Sh!’s Lovely Renee Gives Tips for Women to Make the Most of National Masturbation Month and Beyond!

To help celebrate National Masturbation Month, it’s my pleasure to welcome back Sh!‘s manager, sexy lady extraordinaire and a very good friend of mine, Renee Denyer. Renee has agreed to give a few helpful hints for getting the best out of a good wank.  Welcome back, Renee!

Sisters Should Be Doing It For Themselves!Renee

When talking about masturbation, many (if not most) women come over all shy and bashful. ‘We don’t ‘do’ masturbation’ (well, we do – but it’s not polite to talk about it). Ask any man, and he’ll proudly tell you he ‘knocked one out’ in the shower this morning, and I even know one man who’ll tell all and sundry that he masturbates twice a day (that certainly explains the stack of wet wipes in his bathroom!), on top of any partner-sex he may be lucky enough to get.

Why is it that us women can’t/won’t share tips on how to flick our beans?

Well, I believe it stems from childhood and being told that ‘nice girls don’t.’ Proud fathers will hand their teenage sons copies of ‘Busty Babes’ whilst bemused mums turn a blind eye. (My OH, for example, even kept a scrap book of all his favourite pictures of knickerless and pert-breasted young ladies during his teenage years. I was rather amused when we realised his mum had kept the homemade wank-mag amongst washed-out old Iron Maiden t-shirts all these years!). Daughters, on the other hand, are told to keep their hands off their privates (and preferably not let anyone else near them either) until they’re at least 30…

Unfair? Hell Yes!

Here at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, we’ve met so many women who don’t know how to pleasure themselves that we decided to put together a

Rosie

Rosie

class on how to wank. Yep. It’s true. We teach women how to masturbate. With the help of Rosie, we show some tried & tested techniques, and then send the female guests on their merry way with some juicy homework. See, all you really need for a great session is a bottle of lube and dexterous fingers (failing that, a good toy will do the job just as well)!

Imagine the clit as a clock face (the ‘clit-face’). Women often report that 10—11 am and 1-2 pm are the most sensitive spots, so hone in on them, but don’t forget that the entire vulva will want in on the action. Slidey, sensual moves are great for a sexy starter; feel your way around. You’ll find that some spots feel better than others, so enjoy them for as long as you like. If you decide to invite more pleasure-spots to the party, the G-spot will probably be thrilled with an invite!

For the main, a finger or two may work wonders inside. The vaginal canal quite likes having something to grip on to, so you may find this is a real treat. If you find it awkward to reach, a vibrator (or a dildo) may be just the thing. Your pc muscles can clench around the toy whilst your fingers slide around on the external parts of your vulva, and you can have lots of hot fun this way!

Breathing deeply, right down into your stomach, will help increase your arousal levels and by this point you may well find yourself pretty hot and ready for more!

You could try adding some warming lube like ID Sensation for extra effect. ID Sensation contains L’Arginine which ensures increased blood flow to FILTHY-FRIDAY-BANNERyour vulva, making it nice and juicy as well as much more receptive to stimulation.  I also recommend giving Tickle Her Pink sachets a go – I absolutely swear by these! Amazing stuff!

An erotic book or something sexy on the laptop will help you get worked up, too. We offer **FREE** erotica from an excellent selection of authors (Like KD!) on our blog every Friday (Filthy Friday), so make sure you hop on over for some free weekly smut! We’ll be enjoying Sexy Snax this Filthy Friday from Learning to Soar by Bebe Balocca

Renee masturbationlearningtosoar_800-1Stats show that 70-80% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and you are much better off trying to learn what works for you all by yourself before adding a lover into the mix. If *you* don’t know what works for you, it’s unlikely that your partner will hit the right spot…

Keep your masturbation under wraps until you are ready to show off your new skills – it’s incredibly hot watching a partner get themselves off, so expect fireworks once your private show is over! (#BONUS!)

In these cash-strapped times, we are all looking for good-value activities, and you know, masturbation is absolutely FREE (as well as a healthy way of getting some colour on your cheeks and a twinkle in your eye!).  So, Ladiez – get your lube, get a copy of one of KD Grace or Grace Marshall’s books for inspiration, lock the door, switch your phone off and get masturbating!

***

Oh, and before I go: Big Thanxx to KD Grace for letting me talk wanking on her awesome blog!

***

Renee is the Senior Store Manager at female-focused erotic boutique Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium in Hoxton Square. She has her fingers in many pies and spends her days talking about G-spots, P-spots and any other spots you may have found in your nether regions.

When she is not selling sex toys to the women & couples of London, she can be found at home with a thrilling book and a glass of pink wine, surrounded by her beloved bunnies (of the furry variety).

Follow the Sh! Girlz for all the latest fun & frolics:Renee on masturbationSh!_logo_300dpi

Twitter: @ShWomenstore

Facebook: Sh! Hoxton

Website: http://www.sh-womenstore.com/

 

 

 

 

Lexie Bay and Doug, Passionate Partners on the Wild Side

passionatepartners

What better time for a Passionate Partners interview than on Valentine’s Day? The first time I heard the very talented Lexie Bay read at Sh!, the whole audience was enthralled. But there was one man sitting in the crowd who looked like his smile was about to burst his face. He had proud partner written all over him. That was Lexie’s lovely Other Half, Doug. Since then I’ve had many opportunities to enjoy the company of these Passionate Partners and the love and adoration between the two is vibrant. It was a no-brainer asking them to be my guests on Passionate Partners, so happy Valentine’s Day, and welcome, Lexie Bay and Doug, Sparky Cab, Bay!

LExie and Doug PPand LexieLexie’s Bio: Lexie started writing to immerse herself in a fantasy world where women are adored and men fall at their feet.  Then she realised that sometimes men do that so you can stomp all over them in your sexy stiletto boots and since then she’s been creating stories that stay true to her original romantic dream while exploring the erotic, the kinky and the downright filthy.  She finally found the courage to unleash them onto the world and now writes about anything that emerges from the murky depths of her imagination, anytime she can.

In typical romantic author style she lives with her husband and two daughters in a house by the sea on the south coast of England, but then spoils the image by working in the accounts office of an insurance company by day.  She loves chocolate, theme parks, cosy winter Sundays and the smell of fresh sweat on a hot guy. Her dream is to write full time and she could die happy if people fell in love with her work as much as she falls in love with her characters.

Doug’s Bio: Doug has spent a lot of time getting tattoos, riding bikes – including a gorgeous Harley Davidson Road King – driving too fast and generally being a bit of a wild child in his younger days. Then he met Lexie and nothing changed! Nowadays he works as a cab driver and helps look after their two girls. He can cook, clean, fix stuff and is a genius painter and decorator with a hint of Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen when it comes to interior design. But he still collects tattoos and loves the naughty side of life that comes with being married to an erotica writer. He also likes to take the stress out of his life on his balls; golf balls that is!

LExie and doug PPme and doug elfKD:  Lexie and Doug, one of the things that struck me about the two of you when I first met you was how proud Doug was of your writing, Lexie, and how he always seemed to be promoting you. That convinced me right on the spot that I was witnessing another one of those passionate partnerships in the promoting and celebration of sexuality through erotica. How did that journey begin, and has it always been a team effort?

Lexie: Funnily enough it was Doug that first persuaded me to send in one of my stories. I’ve been writing for years to entertain myself and as a way to indulge my creative side in amongst the sensible side of my life. We’ve always been interested in experimenting, reading and watching erotic things together and he asked why I didn’t write some stories myself. Doug has always been my biggest fan and supporter and he gives me the confidence to keep going even when I think I’ll never get any further with it!

Doug: I had never read any of Lexie’s stories until we discussed sending them off to be published but I knew that she enjoyed writing and I knew that she had a very filthy imagination! I always knew that she would be successful, and I do anything I can to help her fulfil her dream.

KD: Lexie, what does Doug do to help your writing career that you appreciate more than anything else?

Lexie: Doug’s biggest contribution is the fact that he works nights a lot which gives me the space and peace to write. I work all day and then I don’t get into trouble for working all night as he is out in the taxi. Doug is also amazing at doing things around the house, like cooking, tidying, hoovering and sorting out the kids, which leaves me more time to think about story lines and write. He also tells me all the time to quit my job and write full time but so far I think I would feel too guilty to actually do it and let him do all the hard work while I indulge myself in my writing.

KD: Doug, what, so far (knowing that there are lots more such moments ahead) has been the moment in Lexie’s writing career when you’ve been the most proud of her?

Doug: I get the biggest rush when I see her stories in paperback. I remember when the author copies of Immoral Views were delivered and how excited she was to see her story in an actual book for the first time. Another big moment was when she got short listed for the Black Lace/You Magazine competition. She was so excited and I was so proud of her. It’s always fun when people ask her to sign copies of her books too, and I love watching her read when we go to Sh!

KD: What has been the craziest experience you’ve shared in your mutual journey through erotica?

Lexie and Doug PPgaga and slashLexie: We’ve had some amazing experiences since I started writing erotica. We’ve met some incredible people, been to some fantastic places and that doesn’t show any sign of letting up. One of my favourite nights was the Sh! party at the Café de Paris, and we both love going to the party nights at the Sh! shop. Not much can top watching Renee giving a demonstration of how to spank/whip correctly while drinking pink fizz and eating cupcakes. I love the things my writing allows us to do.

Doug: One of my favourite moments was chatting to Tempest Rose and the other girls from the House of Burlesque at the theatre in Eastbourne after their show. There were queues of guys waiting to speak to them and Tempest recognised us and came over to chat. How jealous was everyone?!

KD: Doug, once Lexie begins a new story, how involved are you in the process? What do you consider your most important role when she’s with the Muse?

Doug: I don’t really get involved, but I guess my role when she’s creating is to keep out of the way! Sometimes she will ask me if I think a scene will work and we do talk about how the characters might react to different things, but my role is to keep things going behind the scenes, especially if she has a deadline looming.

KD: What’s the hardest part of the Lexie/Doug working partnership?

Lexie: I think the hardest part is that when I’m immersed in a story I can be a bit single minded and when I don’t get time to write I can be really grumpy. I get so involved in my characters that they become my life and if Doug isn’t as romantic as my leading man he can find himself in the dog house without knowing why!

Doug: I find it hard when Lexie is immersed in a story because she ignores me. It’s almost like being married to two women.

KD: What’s the best part?

Lexie and doug PPWedding 3Lexie: The best part is that when I’m thinking about sex all the time, it does wonders for our sex life. I wouldn’t say that I try out scenes on him but it does often give me ideas for things we could get up to! Also, when I write I’m happy and when I’m happy (like Bagpuss) everyone else is happy. There is nothing like the rush of having a story accepted and Doug is always there to celebrate with me.

Doug: The best part is seeing how happy Lexie is when she gets a story accepted, as well as getting to meet all the other people involved in the industry and going to all the amazing parties.

KD: What’s the best advice the two of you can offer to make that strange and wonderful relationship between erotica writers and their partners run smoother?

L&D: Make sure you support each other and remember that the stories aren’t real but the fantasies can be!

KD: That’s fabulous advice! Tell us something about the Lexie and Doug Team that might really surprise us.

Lexie: We’re really very normal and to look at us you wouldn’t dream of what we get up to some weekends when we hotfoot it up to London to play “erotica writer” with our naughty friends. We work hard, we’re raising two young girls with all the dramas that that brings and we spend a lot of time making each other laugh. I suppose one of the big things in our relationship is the ability to laugh at all the crap life throws at you. We’ve been through some major dramas in the ten years we’ve been together but we’ve managed to get through it all with a lot of love and a lot of laughs.

KD: Lexie, what’s the Muse had you up to lately, and what yumminess should we be keeping an eye out for from Lexie Bay?

Lexie: I’ve got a story coming out that I’m really proud of. I feel as though this year my writing is starting to really gel and I’m starting to find my writing style. I love this one so much. It’s called “Decadent Velvet” and I wrote it for the “Smut for Chocoholics” anthology that Sexy Reads has got coming soon.

LExie and Doug PP7DS_LexieBay(1)As well as that I’ve got three novellas that I am trying to finish and hopefully submit somewhere. The first is the back story to the short that got me shortlisted for the Black Lace competition at the start of the year. I enjoyed writing that one so much that I just had to put all the background into it. It’s about an ambitious young woman who falls for a guy who turns out not only to be her new boss but who also has a lot more issues than she bargained for and a much more exciting side than she could ever have imagined. This is my first attempt at a bit of BDSM so I’m a bit nervous about doing it justice.

The second is about two brothers and the girl that they both love. It’s a bit darker than I would normally write and it’s a very intense story. I’ve been batting ideas around for this one since I started writing erotica and I’ve decided that this year I’m actually going to finish it and hopefully get it out for people to read.

The last one is a supernatural story about a Succubus and her messed up family. It’s also a bit dark but it’s full of lighter moments and it was inspired by a really funny guy I was friends with a year or so ago. His take on life made me giggle and I wanted to write something that would capture his humour.

On top of all of that I’m busy promoting my latest story “An Indolent Seduction” which is the story of Sloth from “Seven Deadly Sins” published by Sweetmeats Press. It’s out in e-book and paperback and you can get it from:

Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/Seven-Deadly-Sins-K-Grace/dp/1909181080/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1360538323&sr=8-3

WH Smiths http://www.whsmith.co.uk/EProducts/Seven-Deadly-Sins+eBook+KB00106214637

Waterstones http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/lexie+bay/k-+d-+grace/rebecca+bond/kojo+black/john+lachatte/seven+deadly+sins/9514507/

LExie and Doug PPSeven Deadly Sins LargeBlurb: When the demon of Sloth sets his sights on the angel Industria, apathy becomes dangerously alluring.

Excerpt from An Indolent Seduction by Lexie Bay:

Cordy’s mobile rang and he picked it up frowning. What the hell did Hugo want? He put his hand on the girl in his lap’s head, halting her vigorous blow job for a moment as he answered the phone.

“What is it Hugo, I’m taking some time out of my busy schedule?” Cordy snapped

“Right, yah, sorry boss, still learning the ropes. I think this is pretty important though.”

Cordy tapped the girl on the head, indicating that she should carry on her task. She smiled up at him, languidly running her tongue over her lips before she slid his cock back into her mouth. He stifled a groan as Hugo carried on.

“They did fucking what?!”

He pushed the blonde out of his lap and jumped up, tucking himself back into his trousers. Storming over to his laptop he clicked onto his website. Hugo wasn’t lying; there it was in black and white. “Website removed”

Cordy knew exactly who was behind this. He’d put up with a lot from her but this was the final straw. He ran his fingers through his hair, pacing the floor of his office as his mind worked overtime. Then a slow smile spread across his face and heaven felt a cold wind, spreading a chill across all the virtues.

“Get it up and running again, I don’t care who you need to involve. I want it accessible again by the end of the day if not sooner,” he barked into his phone, not even listening to Hugo as he answered him. He snapped his phone shut and turned to the pretty blonde, wondering how quickly he could get rid of her. He needed to plan his revenge and she was a distraction he didn’t need. Unfortunately she looked like she’d had way too much of whatever it was she’d brought with her, mixed with too many glasses of champagne. She was smiling at him and he was fairly certain he wasn’t going to get away with telling her to go.

*****

Lexie is published by House of Erotica and Sweetmeats Press and you can find out more about her at:

http://www.lexiebay.co.uk

http://www.twitter.com/Lexie_Bay

http://www.facebook.com/LexieBayAuthor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
© 2017 K D Grace
The Romance Reviews

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