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3 by Julie Hilden

What’s the greatest sacrifice you would make for love?

Julie Hilden 3 by Julie HildenMaya and Ilan have an unusual marriage: Maya will tolerate Ilan’s chronic infidelity as long as he includes her in the affairs. Initially, Maya finds these unorthodox threesomes as arousing as they are disturbing – but when her writing career takes off and she becomes more independent, Ilan feels threatened, and opts for sexual experimentation of another kind: one that plays on Maya’s fear and ultimately threatens her life.

Meanwhile, Maya is drawn into a relationship with a fateful third character. When her new liaison begins to mirror her marriage to Ilan, Maya discovers that her lover, seemingly a stranger, knows far more about her past than she has revealed.

Brave, daring and deeply erotic: 3 is a compelling chronicle of obsession and power.

‘Julie Hilden does what few writers can dare to. 3 is smart, sexy, strange and impossible to put down.’ Dani Shapiro

Available from:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009EP83AQ/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=19450&creativeASIN=B009EP83AQ&linkCode=as2&tag=lucyfelthouse-21

http://www.amazon.com/3-Modern-Erotic-Classics-ebook/dp/B009EP83AQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1359631432&sr=1-1&keywords=julie+hilden

*****

Excerpt:

It is the first Saturday in August when I walk up to the porch of the summerhouse and see them. I am supposed to be in the city this weekend but my interview is canceled, the actor called out of town. I see them through the fan propped in the window, through the transparent blur of its blades.

She is moving on top of him slowly, with such concentration that though she faces the window, though she could look right at me, she does not. I am only a few feet away from her. I have never seen her before.

I watch her glossy brown hair shift on her shoulders, I watch her empty eyes as she moves on him with calculation, with slack lips, with nipples so erect that the areolae wrinkle around them – as she moves with such pleasure, really, that who could hate her in this moment?

To love her, to want to be her, to want to touch her, yes. But not to hate her, not in this.

I watch her, and watch, too, a sliver of Ilan’s narrow chest beneath her, its pattern of hair that breaks across his sternum. I can see the necklace sliding on his chest as they move, the tiny silver hand slipping back and forth, its touch faster and jerkier than Ilan’s own smooth caresses – than the touch of his hand moving on her downy back.

For perhaps five minutes, I don’t say a word. It seems a weird privilege: here is the life I don’t see, the life that goes on without me. I watch them as a ghost watches the living.

Then I say his name slowly, just audibly. She starts and looks around wildly. When she looks through the fan and sees me, she gasps.

Ilan does not start at all; not a flicker. But he lifts his head, sees me, and winces, and just like that he lifts her off him and at the same time off the bed.

‘You have to go now,’ he tells her.

She dresses insolently slowly. Her blouse fastens in the back with a line of ties – it is really just a square of cloth that settles on her breasts – and she loops each of the ties into a perfect bow.

‘Fuck you,’ she tells Ilan. ‘You fucking liar. I deserve better than you.’ Righteous anger, but controlled.

She and I brush past each other. It’s as if she’s preempted me with her anger; I want to shout at Ilan too, curse at him, but I don’t have the heart. ‘I should leave too,’ is all I say.

‘You can’t leave me, Maya. I love you.’

‘Was this the first time – the only time? I need to know.’

‘It started in college,’ he admits, ‘a few weeks after I met you.’

I shiver. I never expected to be chosen by myself, for myself alone. It had felt wrong – unlike me – to be chosen. Now, hearing this, I feel only a sickening familiarity, not surprise.

‘It never meant anything,’ he assures me. ‘I felt awful about it. I don’t know where it comes from. I thought, with enough therapy, I’d talk myself out of it. But all I do is confess, I don’t change.

Look, can we at least sit down? I feel like any moment, you’re going to leave.’

‘Okay, but I’m not promising to stay.’

I sit down on the rattan couch. He stands behind me. I lean back and reach my head up to him – like a rabbit in a cage straining to sip from its water dispenser, the single round, hanging drop. And he leans down, princelike, to kiss me.

Then he starts to touch me. He slips his hands down my jeans, his fingers splayed, rubbing my clitoris insistently, with the slightest pressure. I moan quietly, move against him.

‘Don’t I know you?’ he says. ‘I know exactly what you want, don’t I?’

It agitates me as he rubs and rubs, softly, softly. He touches me the way he learned from me years ago – the way I touch myself. He studied it. The detail of his knowledge of me devastates. If I were to close my eyes, I could confuse his touch with my own.

But as he nuzzles into my shoulder, I smell sex in his hair and break away from him.

‘Would you at least shower?’ I demand.

‘No, you love that. Tell me you love it.’

In seconds my jeans are gone, my shirt is gone. He holds on to me, won’t let me leave.

‘It’s so soft,’ he says as he touches me. ‘You’re so wet.’

He gets a little bleat out of me as he rubs. Then I clamp my mouth shut. Ah, but then I relax it. I begin to breathe in the sex smell in his hair; I begin almost to like it.

‘Maya. Tell me you want this.’

‘I want it.’

‘I knew you did.’ And I do. And it is hours, then, before we can stop.

About the Author:

Julie Hilden graduated from Harvard, and earned a law degree at Yale and an MA in creative writing from Cornell. After several years of practicing law, she has now turned to writing full time. Her first book, a memoir entitled The Bad Daughter, was published by Algonquin Books, and she has also written for Slate magazine. She lives in New York City.

Other Modern Erotic Classics available:

The Houdini Girl by Martyn Bedford

Lie to Me by Tamara Faith Berger

The Phallus of Osiris by Valentina Cilescu

Kiss of Death by Valentina Cilescu

The Flesh Constrained by Cleo Cordell

The Flesh Endures by Cleo Cordell

Hogg by Samuel R. Delany

The Tides of Lust by Samuel R. Delany

Sad Sister by Florence Dugas

The Ties That Bind by Vanessa Duriés

Dark Ride by Kent Harrington

3 by Julie Hilden

Neptune & Surf by Marilyn Jaye Lewis

Violent Silence by Paul Mayersberg

Homme Fatale by Paul Mayersberg

The Agency by David Meltzer

Burn by Michael Perkins

Dark Matter by Michael Perkins

Evil Companions by Michael Perkins

Beautiful Losers by Remittance Girl

Meeting the Master by Elissa Wald

 

Kyoko Church Shares Sapphic Secrets: Book 2 of the Draper Estates Trilogy

It’s my pleasure to welcome the deliciously naughty Kyoko Church back to my blog with a little sneak peek at part 2 of The Draper Estates Trilogy, Sapphic Secrets! If you’ve not read part 1, do so without further delay. If you have, then you’ll be as anxious to read what Ms Church has to say as I am! Welcome, Kyoko!

Hi KD!

Thank you so much for having me back to your awesome blog! It’s such a pleasure and you are always so sweet and welcoming.

Today I’m talking about Book Two in my Draper Estates Trilogy, Sapphic Secrets. Last time I was here I told you about what inspired the trilogy here: http://kdgrace.co.uk/guest-bloggers/the-story-behind-the-story-of-kyoko-churchs-novella-nymphomania/ So you know about that. This time I’m going to let you in on the dark secret about this second book. Are you ready? Here it is: I didn’t really want to write it.

The thing is I’m still relatively new to writing novellas. I’ve always written short stories. I’d have a horny inspiration and feel compelled to write it all out. I’d often shut myself away and just write until it was done. Then I’d sigh, have a wank and a smoke and that’d be it. I’m just kidding! I don’t smoke. 🙂

What I’m saying is that short stories come fairly easily to me. Writing a book is something different. It requires more discipline, something I can be a bit short of, to be frank. And this is a trilogy! For me, that is a long time to live with the same characters. They were starting to bug me. I wanted to toss them away and start something new.

I’m shocked that I’m telling you this. Because as a reader, if an author said she had a hard time writing something I would be leery of reading itKyoko Church vol2Sapphic Secrets image. I would worry it would be stilted and awkward, that it wouldn’t be passionate or from the heart.  And that’s how I was afraid this second installment would turn out! But once I finally buckled down and got into it… I liked it again. And I’m so glad! I got my horny writing mojo back and I’m really pleased with how it turned out. But, I should let you be the judge. Here’s an excerpt:

Sapphic Secrets Excerpt:

Lillianne awoke with the now familiar aching throb between her legs.

Oh! It seemed now there was never a moment’s respite.

The air of the master bedroom was cool, almost cold and she hunkered down under the bedclothes and savoured the warmth they held. She was alone. Blessedly alone.

In the soft, warm confines of her bed her hand sought the ache at her centre and cupped it, pressed down on it, tried to assuage it. It felt like that, like a comfort, at first.

Of course, the more she kneaded and pressed it, the more the ache grew, like a fire being slowly stoked. She pressed the covers to her mouth to stifle a groan and rocked herself back and forth in anguish. She shouldn’t. She knew she shouldn’t. Because of Dr Samms she was constantly monitored. Who knew when someone could come in? James. Celeste. Her darling Ewan who’d arisen from their marital bed but ten minutes earlier. But the ache persisted and once she’d started touching she felt powerless to stop.

It felt so good. Ah, god, so good to have pressure there. Her body needed it. Craved it. And it wasn’t really so bad, was it, to just hold herself there? That’s really all it was. But after a few moments more her mind flitted back. To thoughts. Oh, nasty thoughts. She shouldn’t be thinking them! Especially not in this way! But they were insidious little things, those perverted thoughts about what her housemaid Celeste had done to her.

Celeste! Not only her housemaid but her confidante. Her best friend. What had the shy little blonde creature been thinking? What could have possessed her? But as the pressure and the pleasure mounted where Lilly held herself between her legs she couldn’t help but remember again how it felt to have Celeste do what she did.

It’s the affliction, Lilly thought. My affliction makes me think these things! It will drive me mad! But once the memories took hold they cemented themselves there. Celeste, shaving Lilly bare between her legs per the doctor’s orders while Lilly’s arms and legs were pinned and powerless, leaving her skin exposed and oh so sensitive. And then. Oh god.

The unthinkable.

Her housemaid put her mouth there.

Her tongue! Right on the burning centre of her need, the pounding pulse of what drove her madness. And the worst part, the absolute worst part was what Lilly scarcely allowed herself to acknowledge. That to have Celeste’s slick tongue licking and licking that tortured bud of flesh was the most exquisite bliss.

Out of her mind with lustful thoughts Lilly parted her legs wantonly, all thoughts of propriety and repercussions gone. In her mind her finger was Celeste’s tongue on her again but this time, oh this time it would finish what it started.

The first touch of her finger on the sensitive tip of her clitoris was like heaven. Lilly gasped out, her starved body grateful, hungry and eager at the sensation of wonderful firm pressure directly on there again, just like Celeste had done with her talented tongue. Giddy now, she slicked her finger up and down fast and hard, feeling the paroxysm build, not slowly like the evil doctor forced her to endure, but quickly like her body wanted. ‘Oh god!’ she cried, as her body bucked beneath her hand. Her eyes squeezed shut, she couldn’t help but imagine her sweet friend’s blonde head between her legs, moving and working, that tongue laving. ‘Yes! Yes! Please! I need it. Please, Celeste. Please!’ Lilly whispered her tortured pleadings into her bedclothes as she frigged herself hard.

Just as her body began to thrash over the edge of the most powerful paroxysm she’d ever endured, the bedroom door opened and then … Celeste was standing there.

 ***

In case you’re wondering, I have none of those same qualms about Book Three. For whatever reason, maybe exactly because I’ve lived with these characters for this long, I am now excited to get to the third installment. Oh, just wait until you find out what’s in store for Lillianne! I am simply bursting to get to it. And … there just may be somebody new who’ll be added to the mix. 😉

I really hope you enjoy it! And I always welcome your feedback. Come by my blog and say hi!

Blurb:

Labelled a nymphomaniac because of her passion, Lillianne Draper is forced to spend her days restrained. She has managed to banish the nefarious Dr Samms only to begin to question the motives of her scullery maid, Celeste. Charged with the task of monitoring her mistress’s illness, Celeste seems to enjoy her new responsibility a little too much.  Lillianne must try and control her body’s responses or her husband will order the return of the doctor who tormented her. But being left every day at the mercy of Celeste is arousing desires in Lilly she didn’t know she had.

Links:

http://www.amazon.com/Sapphic-Secrets-Estates-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00APK7LB6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1356738770&sr=1-1&keywords=sapphic+secrets

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sapphic-Secrets-Estates-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00APK7LB6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1356738817&sr=8-1

Kyoko ChurchNymphomania1About Kyoko Church:

Kyoko Church discovered the power of the written erotic word when she was 16 years old and penned a very explicit missive to her boyfriend detailing all the naughty things she wanted to do to him. When he received it, boyfriend was impressed. When he found it, father was not.

For the next 18 years she hid her naughty thoughts in shame. Until she found a community where they were once again appreciated for the well-imagined smut they are. Her short stories have been published in anthologies by Black Lace, Rubicund Publishing and Xcite Books. Book One, Nymphomania, and Book Two, Sapphic Secrets, in her Draper Estate Trilogy were published by Xcite in 2012. For Her Pleasure will be published by HarperCollins Mischief in March 2013.

A Canuck by birth, she has recently made Australia her home. She is currently learning to drive on the left and say G’day convincingly.

Website: kyokochurch.blogspot.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kyoko.church

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kyokochurch

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/kyokochurch/

 

These Boots are Made for Reading! Kinky Boots is Now Out!

Kinky_BootsIt’s out! What started as an idea inspired by a walk around Shoreditch in London, peeking in the windows of some of the quirky shoe stores ended up to be  my latest  petite novel for Mischief Books, Kinky Boots! And it’s now available for download! You’ll never view a pair of sexy boots the same way again!

Blurb:

After a sizzling encounter in DEMON HEELS, a quirky all-night shoe store, with the store’s hot owner, FINN MASTERS, JILL HART walks away in the most gorgeous boots ever. Her new boots come with an unexpected bonus, a sexy demon named ELEANOR, who’s looking for a good time. All she lacks is a body, and Jill’s will do nicely.

Jill quits her dead-end job and, not knowing what’s come over her stops by the nearest pub intent on doing tequila shots until she falls off the stool. Instead she does FINN MASTERS in the beer garden, unwittingly participating in her first ever threesome. The boots were the bait, the timing was right and Eleanor has new digs. It’s Finn job to prevent Eleanor’s misbehaving. His failure means he’ll have to ride shotgun and do damage control until Eleanor moves out at the next full moon.

With Eleanor in residence, Jill’s bolder, sexier, willing to take risks. But is she a whole new Jill, or is it just demon courage? And how will Finn feel about her when she’s just plain Jill again? Will the maddeningly magical ménage make Jill’s dreams come true, or will it break her heart?

Boots again282249101616278986_uDusO7S3_b Excerpt:

The clerk lifted her right foot into his hand. Jill tried to squirm away but he held her firmly flashing her a concerned glance from under a drawn brow. ‘You could have seriously injured your feet walking around Shoreditch at night in someone else’s shoes.’

The skirt she wore was a denim mini, and the way he sat between her legs made her feel exposed, vulnerable, and something a lot more yummy. As he ran his thumbs up her instep and over the pad of her foot, she shifted in the chair sliding down to accommodate his inspection.

‘Shoes are so important. They protect our feet, our soles, the only part of us that regularly contacts the earth. They allow us that intimate connection with our planet while at the same time keeping us safe from it.’ He continued his inspection of her feet, hands moving gently over her arch to the ball then to her toes as he cupped her heel in a warm hand. ‘No two people’s soles contact the earth in the same way.’

Her pulse thudded at the enthusiasm of his little speech which, along with his gentle inspection of her feet, felt shockingly intimate, even more so than if he had actually peeked up her skirt. His actions were having a cumulative effect low between her hip bones. ‘Maybe you could sell me something a little more suited to me.’ Her words rushed out breathless and unsteady.

He placed both hands on his thighs and looked up at her. ‘Did you have a pair in mind?’

She gave a quick glance around the store, and her eyes lit on a pair of mauve boots that came up just over the ankle, low on the calf. They sported delicate kitten heels and were threaded with sage green laces that looked more like ribbons, ‘How about those,’ she said. Then she blushed fiercely. They were lovely, elegant, and any idiot could see, totally not suited for someone like her. ‘Or maybe something a little more practical.’ She avoided his gaze. ‘A little less flashy.’

Ignoring her second thoughts, he stood and walked to the rack. She couldn’t keep from noticing how nicely his butt filled out his jeans. She could imagine that arse had sold more than a few pairs of shoes to women who liked a good view. It was then she realized he had taken the boots straight off the display. ‘I’m hard to fit,’ she said as he knelt in front of her and unlaced one boot.

‘Trust me–’ he smiled up at her, opened the boot and offered it to her like Cinderella’s Prince Charming ‘– I can fit you just fine.’

Buy Kinky Boots Now

Amazon UK
Amazon US

 

 

The Military Wife by Lucy Felthouse

The Military WifeThree hot and romantic military tales from the pen of uniform aficionado, Lucy Felthouse.

The Military Wife
Tess’ salacious fantasies about her husband, Aidan, see her through the long periods of time when she doesn’t see him—when he’s away on tour with the Army. The rest of the time, she has to deal with day to day life alone. One day, a dull chore is interrupted by the unexpected arrival of her husband, and things quickly hot up in their kitchen, and beyond.

 

Passing Out Passion
When Christina attends her brother’s passing out parade with her parents, she’s full of pride at his achievement. What she’s not expecting, though, is to bump into old flame Phil Ashdown. They didn’t part on good terms and the atmosphere between them is awkward. But when they’re forced into conversation, it turns out that all those years ago, there was a misunderstanding. One that can very easily be put right.

 

Double Vision
Becky’s a military wife with a uniform fetish. She loves nothing more than having fun in the bedroom with her squaddie husband, where they share and act out many of their fantasies. However, there’s one fantasy that she’s never divulged, as it breaks their rule about bring other people into their sex life. One day, though, Becky decides to bite the bullet and tell Paul everything. She never expects him to make her fantasy come true. But then, Paul’s a very resourceful man.

 

Available from:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00B1UL5W0/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=19450&creativeASIN=B00B1UL5W0&linkCode=as2&tag=lucyfelthouse-21

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00B1UL5W0/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=lucyfelt-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00B1UL5W0

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-themilitarywife-1043690-144.html?referrer=6bdb1f9160564c0525b41f36e51861a0

*****

Excerpt:

Tess grumbled to herself as she heaved the shopping bags out of the boot of her car. It was a pain in the arse having to do this all by herself. Yet she’d been through this more than once, and it was going to be for the foreseeable future. May as well just get on with it and shut up moaning, she thought.

Just as she got to her front door and started fumbling for her key, risking dropping all her bags in the process, a voice said, “Let me help you with that.”

Tess dropped the bags.

She whirled to face the owner of the voice, unadulterated joy on her face.

“Aidan!” she shrieked. And, without caring who could be watching, she hurled herself into her husband’s arms. Luckily, Aidan had been fully expecting this kind of greeting and had braced himself. Supporting his wife’s bottom with his hands as her legs clasped around his waist, he felt himself stiffening almost immediately. You couldn’t blame him though, it had been months since he’d been home.

As she took his face in her hands, Tess was almost teary with happiness. She leaned in for a kiss that would show her husband exactly how much she’d missed him. Tightening her legs around him, she smiled into his mouth as she felt his erection nudging against her bottom.

What seemed like hours later, the couple finally came up for air. Surveying the damage around them, Tess made a quick decision.

“Grab the other bags while I dump this lot in the kitchen. Then lock the door behind you and get upstairs.”

Grinning, Aidan moved to do as he was told. Tess scrabbled items back into carrier bags and rushed into their home to put them down. Now the kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it. But she didn’t care. Her man was home. Smiling to herself, she turned as Aidan came in with the rest of the bags. She gestured to the floor and he put them down.

“Corporal Scott reporting for duty ma’am,” he said, snapping her a smart salute.

Bastard, she thought, he knows what it does to me when he goes all military on me. We’ll be lucky to make it upstairs at this rate.
Tess drank in every inch of her husband. The climate in Afghanistan had given him a decent tan, but of course he hadn’t been on holiday. He’d been fighting a war, and she was eternally grateful that he’d come back to her in one piece. He was still wearing his combats, with the regulation boots, but no headgear. He looked hot.

“Come here, soldier,” she said, crooking a finger, “and kiss me.”

*****

Lucy Felthouse is a very busy woman! She writes erotica and erotic romance in a variety of subgenres and pairings, and has over seventy publications to her name, with many more in the pipeline. These include Best Bondage Erotica 2012 and 2013, and Best Women’s Erotica 2013. Another string to her bow is editing, and she has edited and co-edited a number of anthologies. She owns Erotica For All, and is book editor for Cliterati. Find out more at http://www.lucyfelthouse.co.uk. Join her on Facebook and Twitter, and subscribe to her newsletter at: http://eepurl.com/gMQb9

 

Anything for Him: A Petite Novel by Lily Harlem & Natalie Dae

I’m very excited to have a sexy excerpt of the latest offering from the sizzling pens of two of my favourite erotica writers, Lily Harlem and Natalie Dae. Their petite novel, Anything for Him, is now available from Mischief Books. A read too sexy to miss!

Lily Harlem Natlie DaeAnything for him3Blurb:

Just how far will one woman go to fulfill her fantasies?

I prefer to chase the news, not be the news. But when the delectable Liuz, with his uncannily accurate perception of my secret desires weaved its way into my life, it wasn’t long before I was in way too deep, submerged and intoxicated with a passion I was afraid was more than I could handle.

Or was it? Because although my heart was overwhelmed with feelings I had no resistance against, and while my deceitful body was consumed by a burning passion, I still had a plan. A plan I prayed would keep me afloat as I was pushed to the very edge of my limits, while the journey got tougher than even my wildest flights of fantasy could have imagined. I claimed him and I felt that he was rightfully mine. My heart simply couldn’t beat without a permanent connection between our hearts, minds and bodies. Losing was not an option,not when my sanity depended on winning him.

Because I would, quite literally, do anything for him.

Excerpt:

A small smile dallied on his lips before he compressed them, obliterating the tiny glimpse I’d gained into his feelings. He’d looked tender just then, smitten – or was that just my high hopes? – and it made me want to reach up and stroke his cheek. Cup it to let him know I felt the same. But I didn’t, too afraid that if I moved, the spell would be broken and I’d be banished to darkness once more.

So I watched him watching me, smiled myself at the tiny crinkles beside his eyes. Were they from age or laughter? I wanted to see him laugh, a real belly laugh, to giggle with me on lazy Sunday mornings.

That would never happen.

I was just being fanciful, allowing the softer side of me to come to the fore and, inwardly, I cursed myself for it. I needed to stay on the track our journey had begun on, with Liuz my master and me the willing follower. If I tried to manipulate things, who knew what would happen? I had a good idea. He’d say the stop word, and my world would be shattered. Damn, I’d become attached and shouldn’t have. No, I needed to scour these new feelings away, wash any remnants down the drain, because if I didn’t, it would be over faster.

Over. I never want it to be over.

Him reaching out his hand for mine, twining his fingers with mine, brought me up short. Another show of tenderness I hadn’t expected, bringing my previous thoughts and hopes rushing back.

Stop it. He was just doing that to waste time between fucks. It didn’t mean anything. Not a damn thing.

‘You have tiny hands,’ he said, gaze glued to our knot of fingers. ‘So tiny.’

Shit, his words melted me into a pool of goo. I wanted to see what he saw, to see through his eyes, but his face was telling me so much more. That little smile was back, the dimple in his cheek, and his eyes had taken on a dreamy look that I would swear expressed similar thoughts to mine.

Was he feeling something for me? Something more than seeing me as a woman he could use? I couldn’t hope. Just couldn’t.

To stop myself falling even more madly in love with him – or more obsessed – I dragged my sights from his face and stared at our hands. I shouldn’t have done that. What I saw were hands that belonged together, his large palm pressed against my smaller one, the tips of my slim fingers barely peeking from between his thick, longer digits. My stomach rolled with the realisation that I had allowed myself to go too far when I’d removed the blindfold. I’d encouraged intimacy, ousted the security blindness had given me, and I knew I was in all kinds of trouble now.

‘Do you think,’ he said, still studying our hands, ‘you could have another man after me?’

Oh, I knew where this was going, why he’d asked that question. Beefcake. I tensed, hoping he’d think it was a natural reaction to his query and not that I knew what was going to happen at some point tonight. I swallowed, hoping my voice came out strong when I replied. Should I give the true answer burning my tongue? The one where I was honest and said that no man would ever match up to him? No man would ever make me feel as sexy, as dirty, and as needed as he did? Or should I shrug it off, behave as I was supposed to and give him a hell yeah?

I decided to hedge my bets, play it safe. ‘Um, in what context?’

‘It’s simple. Just like I said. Could you have another man after me?’

After me. He meant tonight, me having another man straight after he’d been inside me. I could, would do that for him.

‘Well,’ I said, dredging courage up from the shadowy little corner it had retreated to when I’d taken the blindfold off. ‘You’ve made it clear we’re not going anywhere. You let me know we’re just fuck buddies, so I haven’t got attached.’ Liar. ‘So when you say the stop word, yes, I’d fuck someone else.’ Eventually. When I picked up the pieces of my heart and glued them back together.

Oh, hell. I’d really gone and fallen for him, hadn’t I?

I’d said what he might want to hear, but at the same time I’d made it clear that when he said the stop word, I’d become attached to someone else. I’d effectively told him I belonged to him and him alone until he ended what we had. Those were my true thoughts, but I knew without doubt that in order for him to keep his knees intact, to have unbroken arms and legs – or worse – I’d give myself to Beefcake.

If Liuz picked up on what I’d actually said, would he send Beefcake away? He couldn’t. He had no alternative but to pay the man one way or another.

If only I had the money to give him.

He sighed. ‘But imagine if I did not want to say the stop word yet.’

Yet. He was going to end it at some point. Oh, God, Hannah, you stupid, stupid woman. What have you got yourself into here?

‘Maybe I want to share you with someone,’ he continued, stroking his thumb over my inner wrist.

‘I’m not sure what you mean.’ I must have sounded dense, but I needed to stall him so I could think on what he’d just said. He was putting it in a nice way, making out he wanted to share me. So he wasn’t going to admit that I was payment, that I was a nothing who didn’t deserve being made privy to what he’d planned. I understood why he couldn’t say. I mean, how rude would that sound? You see, Aniolku,it’s like this. I owe a dangerous man some money … But on the other hand, he was asking my opinion. He cared enough to find out whether I could handle this instead of just assuming I would.

That had to count for something, didn’t it?

Whatever it counted for, I grabbed hold of it and hugged it to me.

‘What I mean is, I need to share you with someone. Maybe one time, maybe two.’

Need. He hadn’t said he wanted to.

‘What brought this on?’ I asked, looking into his eyes. Every nerve in my body seemed to be screaming, making me tense, my mind full of questions I had no time to answer.

‘I have …’ He stopped, unhooked his hand from mine and lifted his arm to cup my cheek. His eyes flicked left to right, left to right, showing me he was unsure of how to word things.

Those actions had my emotions soaring. He cared. He bloody cared!

I warded off a huge smile, saying instead, ‘You have what?’

His hand burned my cheek, and his thumb tip brushing the soft skin beside my eye almost – almost – had me crying. I was on dangerous ground in more ways than one here.

‘I have a problem I need your help with, Aniolku.’

I laughed, reverting back to my original role, of who he thought I really was. ‘You need help from me? Now, that isn’t the man I know. You’ve given me the impression you don’t need help from anyone.

‘I do not usually need help, but tonight I do. Something went wrong.’

‘Something went wrong?’ I purposely made my voice light, acted as though I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. ‘With what? And what’s another man fucking me got to do with it?’

He had two options. He’d either confess or make some bullshit story up.

Please let it be a confession.

He sighed again, moved his hand from my cheek to cup the ball of my shoulder.

Stroked languidly, circling my skin as though the action calmed him. Or maybe he was doing it to pacify me, to butter me up?

‘I – I promised you to someone else,’ he said bluntly, the words in his usual brittle, no-nonsense form but his eyes giving him away. He stared at my forehead, took his hand from my shoulder to fiddle with my tufty hair.

‘You did?’ I said, going for the incredulous tone.

‘I did. How do you feel about that?’

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© 2017 K D Grace
The Romance Reviews

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