Tag Archives: masturbation

In Pursuit of Mr Sands – Free Read

As most of you know, I brought Elise North into A Demon’s Tale because she so intrigued me in her encounters with Mr. Sands, which I plan to revisit at a later date. We haven’t seen the last of him yet. But this little story, first published in Cosmo, gives a glimpse into PI, Elise North’s life before a certain demon turned it upside down.

As you know, from previous Medusa Consortium stories, in Magda Gardener’s world, nothing is ever simple where relationships and sex are concerned. And Elise is no exception. There are always complications. I hope you enjoy Elise’s pursuit of Mr. Sands, and I bet you can guess who has hired her for this little task.

 

In Pursuit of Mr. Sands

Five hot summer nights, I followed Mr. Sands in and out of clubs and bars in Soho. Sometimes it took him the better part of the night to pick up a woman, though he could have had his choice. Sometimes he found the one he wanted in the very first bar. There was no pattern, no rhyme or reason, no similarity that I could see in his choices. He never took them home. He never told them his name. He never fucked them. But he always made them come. Their response was unanimously a mix of ecstatic release and surprise, as though they hadn’t expected it.

He took them in alleys, in stairwells, even once on a crowded dance floor. It was always quick, always intense and it always felt a bit dangerous. He didn’t mind if the women bit or clawed or howled like wolves. They always came, but Mr. Sands never did. I wondered if he practiced some form of eastern discipline that enhanced male pleasure through refraining from ejaculation.

I’m a PI, and monitoring Mr. Sands’ nightly wanderings is my job. The woman who hired me to tail him isn’t his ex or a psycho lover. She claims she’s never met the man. But hey, everyone’s kink is different. If she gets off on my reports, then who am I to judge, as long as she pays me. And she pays me well. In fact she set me up in a posh flat with a view across the street right into Mr. Sands’ posh flat. Though it hasn’t helped much. He keeps his curtains drawn.

Every night Mr. Sands goes out at exactly ten, and every night I follow him. Every night I watch as women flirt and eyeball him longingly until he finally makes his choice. Some nights he wines and dines the lucky girl. Some nights, he simply takes her hand and leads her off to do the deed. Last night, his choice was a porcelain-skinned woman with ginger hair. He led her from the bar without so much as a word. She was breathless, wide-eyed, her full breasts bouncing in her scanty bronze sheath as she struggled to keep up with him in stilettos she was none to steady on. I could almost feel the sense of urgency that might have been hers, might have been his. The dress was tight enough that the lack of panties was evident, a bit too tight for a woman so well curved. But Mr. Sands didn’t seem interested in fashion or conventional beauty.

He pressed her up against a small loading dock in the ally, taking her mouth as though she were his favourite dish, slapping her hands away from his fly, though even I could see his bulge through my binoculars. There beneath the streetlight, he freed her breasts into his hands, thumbing and raking peach gumdrop nipples and heavily stippled areolae.

She sounded like a kitten mewing for its mother as he scrunched her dress until her Brazilian was as bare as her breasts. She gave a little yelp as he hoisted her up onto the loading dock and palmed her thighs wide apart forcing her back onto her elbows. One shoe dropped to the pavement with a muted thud as he cupped his hands behind her knees and pulled her closer to his face. Then he fingered her, studied her, caressed her as though he’d never seen a pussy before. All the while, she moaned and whimpered and squirmed against the hard concrete. “Please,” she begged. “Oh please.” But he ignored her keening.

When, at last, he spoke, his voice was velvet against bare skin, “You’ve been pretending. But you don’t need to for me.” Then he buried his face between her thighs, and she bucked and gyrated against him tugging and pulling at her breasts. Once again, he slapped her hands away and reached up to knead her almost as though he were raising his arms in an act of worship. He pinched and thumbed while never slacking in his efforts between her thighs. Her cries became guttural, like he’d awakened something feral in her, something that could now no longer be caged. He slid his hands down to cup her bum and drew her closer, as though he might crawl up inside her right next to that feral thing he’d awakened. She came with an animal howl that sent shivers up my spine and made the view from the binoculars shudder with the hammering of my pulse. At last he pulled away and wiped his face on the back of his arm. Then he mantled her close, covering her lips with kisses, she all but sobbing into his mouth.

Finally she spoke in little gasps of effort. “I’ve never had an orgasm before.”

“I know,” was all he said, as he bent to retrieve her shoe and gently slipped it onto her foot.

I stood in shock at her revelation, at his. The woman had never had an orgasm? Did he choose his women that way? But then how the hell would he know? I was so lost in my speculations that I had to scramble back into an alcove in front of a service entrance to keep from being seen as Mr. Sands escorted her back to the bar.

And just like that it was over. I knew the drill by now. The woman would return to her friends with a smile on her face, and Mr. Sands would go home.

I followed him, as I always did, then took the lift to my flat. Inside I stripped to tank and panties, wilted from the relentless heat. It was one of the few summer days each year when it hadn’t cooled down much at night. I poured myself a glass of cab. Usually unwinding from a night of tailing Mr. Sands meant a little hands-on. I had a vibrator, but there was something about our nightly rendezvous that gave me the urge to touch myself. Maybe the total lack of penetrative sex in those steamy encounters made me empathetic. My last task every working day was to open my curtains and make sure Mr. Sands was at home. He always was. Though his curtains were perpetually drawn, I could make out the cinnamon glow of lamplight inside. Occasionally I could see the shadow of movement back and forth beyond the drawn drapes. That was my cue for some ‘me time,’ as I fantasized about what he did after he came home late at night unsatisfied.

With wine glass in hand and my mind on the night’s intriguing discoveries, the curtain was completely open before I turned to find that Mr. Sands, for once, had followed suit. He stood looking right at me, wearing only grey track bottoms slung low around his hips, his chest glistening from the heat. I froze gaping, as he sipped a whiskey and brazenly looked me up and down. I’d been compromised. My client had warned me to make sure he never saw me. But I was confident, maybe a little arrogant. I was good at my job. I should have shut the curtains and left. But I just stood there like a rabbit in the headlights, my nipples stiffening beneath my tank top as surely as if he’d stroked them as he had the redhead’s. The quirk of his lips, the trailing of his gaze over my body sent shockwaves of heat core deep. The clench between my thighs, the subtle shifting of my hips wouldn’t have been noticeable by anyone. Hell, I could make myself come on a crowded bus and no one was the wiser. But he knew. I was certain he knew.

I raised my glass for a much-needed drink and miscalculated, dribbling red wine across white cotton and a distended nipple. His gaze was not subtle as he nodded to my breasts. I knew exactly what he wanted. Slowly, I lifted the glass and drizzled the cab across my breasts – all of it, gasping at the shock of it, biting my lip, closing my eyes just long enough to savor the sensation. When I opened them, he slid a hand inside the front of his track bottoms. It wasn’t difficult to tell he was hard, nor that he was substantial. I took in the shape of him as brazenly as he had me, giving my own little nod. But he only shook his head and raised an eyebrow making it clear that it was tit for tat.

Caught in his gaze, I could scarcely breathe, I could scarcely believe the risk I was taking. He knew where I was. He knew what I’d done. And yet I lifted my wet shirt  off over my head, the AC tightening my nipples still further. As he watched, I slid a hand into my panties mirroring his movements. I fingered my way down between my thighs, gasping at the slick swell of me, my tide pool scent filling the room as I began to stroke.

His own stroking had exposed the base of his cock in its nest of dark curls, and my mouth watered. I nodded again, wanting to see that tool he’d kept hidden all these nights, desperate to see him lose that cast iron control.

He gulped the rest of his whiskey and set the glass aside. Then he slid the other hand beneath his waistband to scoop and cup his sac, and I moaned my approval as his efforts revealed just a little more. And then it was a stand-off, neither of us blinking, neither of us flinching, we rubbed and stroked and flaunted ourselves, each in an effort to will the other into that final reveal. He shifted and pumped and moved in such a way that I could make out almost every detail of his heavy package from beneath the tease of fabric. The lust in his eyes was laced with something slightly wicked. Strange I’d never realized fear could be such a turn-on. I wanted to run and hide even as I wanted him to fuck me with his eyes.

I pulled my fingers from my panties and raised them to my mouth, giving him a hungry stare as I tasted my own slickness, then I sucked. He bit his lip and his body jerked. For a horrible moment I thought he’d come without me. But he took a deep breath and nodded. It was time. I slid a thumb into the edge of my panties and, with the other hand, counted down. Three…two…one. We both dropped our drawers. After that things got serious. He stepped closer to the window, as close as he could get to me. One hand cupped, the other stroked and tugged the heavy length of him as though it were seriously in need of taming.

Without looking away, I reached behind me and pulled the Queen Anne chair close. Then I plopped down splaying my legs over the arms so that he could see my efforts, fingers darting and circling, dipping and scissoring, butt raised high to give him a better view. The look on his face was utter concentration. I imagine mine was the same. As his orgasm burst in heavy spurts against the windowpane, I convulsed my own release, nearly upsetting the chair.

Afterwards we just stared at each other, still cupping ourselves, too stunned to think, too spent to move. But at last, he bent, pulled up his track bottoms and tucked his cock. He studied me for a long moment, the hunger in his eyes making me squirm in that place between arousal and fear. Then he waved a finger at me as though I’d been a naughty girl. Finally, he blew me a kiss and drew the curtains. The next morning, to my relief, and my disappointment, Mr. Sands was gone. But I’ll track him down. He has secrets I want. It is my job, after all. And I’m good at what I do.

Sh!’s Fabulous Renee Denyer Talks Spicing up Self Love

I’m very excited to have the fantastic Renee Denyer, Sh!’s totally awesome, award-winning manager, back for the 2nd week in a row! I know, I know! How lucky am I? How lucky are you lot? And if you’ve never been to Sh!, I highly recommend you pop in for a visit. You’ll be SO glad you did!

Today Renee is talking about something near and dear to my heart … and other bits … spicing up your self-love life. It’s ME TIME! Take it away, Renee! 

 

visit-us

 

So today we’re going to delve deeper into our moist grottos: we’re going to talk about self-love. Shebopping, twiddling the skittle – whatever you want to call it, masturbation should be high up on your to-do list. It should be right up there with, say, brushing teeth or spending time with great mates.

Not being in a couple doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fluff the muff regularly. It’s been scientifically proven that orgasms aren’t only fun, but also healthy. It sets you up for the day (and sends you into a lovely, deep sleep at night), puts colour on your cheeks and a twinkle in your eye. A bit like taking multivitamins – only more fun!

It’s easy to get stuck in a rut once you find something that works. We all do it, all the time. The same breakfast cereal, the same washing powder, some people even go to the same holiday destination year after year – why fix something if it ain’t broke? The same goes for sex, I find, especially masturbation. How often do you take the time to really enjoy your body and what it has to offer? If anything, it might be a quick shuffle before sleep and that’s it.

I was so excited when K D asked for my best tips on how to spice things up when playing solo, and I’ve had so much fun writing this piece. These are the sort of things I talk about at work every day, plus I like to practice what I preach…

Enjoy!

 

Top Tips for Spicing Up Muff-Shuffles

Hair Care – Coz You’re Worth It

Trying out different hair styles is an easy way to try something new. It doesn’t require too much effort and you might find it changes how you feel about your body in general and your snootch in particular.

If you usually prefer the au naturel look, defuzzing can be a lot of fun. Many women – myself included – say they feel more when the pussy is bare. It offers easy access, feels incredibly smooth and gives a good view if you fancy having a look in the mirror (we’ll come back to that).

There are several ways of creating a new look: shaving, creaming or waxing. A razor or some cream is easy to DIY, but waxing is best left to the professionals. Bear in mind, though, that asking for a “Hollywood” in a waxing salon will often mean you on all fours with your ass in the air and a stranger applying wax to very personal body parts. (Be generous when tipping!)

On the other hand, if you usually sport the balder look, try leaving the hair to grow for a few weeks and see what happens. Stroking and twiddling soft pubic hair can be both comforting and sexy, and you might find that the soft fur traps your natural scent better.

 

Love Your Labia

I meet so many women who have either no idea what their labia lips look like, or they feel their lovely lady lips are somehow “gross” and “ugly”.

We need to change that.

Slip off your knickers, grab a mirror and take a good look.  I promise your lips are beautiful. An unaroused vulva looks different from an aroused one. Colour and shape changes, this is perfectly normal. Pet your pussy and see what happens!

Hop on over to The Great Wall of Vagina – once you’ve finished reading this piece, obv. Artist Jamie McCartney plaster-casted a whopping 400 women’s vulvae and turned them into sculptures. His work gives you a great opportunity to study other women’s bits – and realize that yours are, in fact, magnificent!

A friend of mine likes to look at her honey pot as it orgasms; she says she enjoys watching it clench and twitch. Try it!

 

Clock face

 

Happy Hour

Imagine that your clitoris is a clock face (the clit-face), with 12 at the top and 6 at the bottom. Spending time working out which ‘time’ is most sensitive is a huge step towards banging orgasms. Personally I’m a 5 o’clock kinda girl (cocktail hour!), although many women report 10-11 or 1-2 as their Happy Hours.

Time spent tending to your ladygarden is time very well spent – you’ll find that a certain time on the clit face that brings on happy hour much easier.

 

 

The Wetter, The Better

Let’s get one thing straight: there can never be too much lube. The wetter, the better! Still, many people think women should produce enough natural juices to supply a small nation, and if she doesn’t, there must be something wrong with her plumbing… Not true. Several factors impacts on a woman’s ability to get wet: dehydration, tiredness, medication, hormones… I could go on.

Do your vagina the biggest favour and buy a sample kit of lubes, and work your way through each sachet until you find one you really like. And then buy the biggest bottle of that particular lube that you can find.

 

Pussitioning

The pussy is all about location, location, location.

Do you always masturbate whilst laying on your back, fantasizing about Tom Hardy? Try sitting up! Give Idris Elba a go!  

Do you do it on all fours? Try standing up!

In the bedroom? Break out; try the bathroom, the kitchen and maybe the landing too!

Shifting positions gives you a different perspective and you may find hot spots you didn’t know where there. It means you need to use different muscles, bend in different ways and learn new ways of getting off. Over time, this trick means you’ll be able to get off pretty much anywhere, anyhow – bonus!

 

Sex Toys, Vibrators & Other Fun Stuff

Working in a sex shop, I hear many different reason for why someone should/shouldn’t use sex toys. Some people think vibrators are for single people only (so not for couples), and others think that toys are for couples as singles “don’t have sex”. (Well, anyone who thinks that is way off the mark!)

Here’s what I think: everyone who wants a sex toy should have one. It really is that simple.

 

Solo sex is a great opportunity to work out likes and dislikes, getting to know your body and its desires. Explore, experiment and most of all, enjoy.

Wondering what s small vibe could do for your clit? Want to explore the juicy G-spot? Maybe you want to try a dual-style vibe like the rabbit? Or an anal toy! You can have all of those if you want – it’s your choice. Go outside your comfort zone, try something different. It might just blow your mind… *wink*

 

GOAL – Time for Vajubilation!

Actually no.

Let’s not be so goal oriented.

Great sex can be fast and furious, but it can also mean dribbling that ball a little, pass over to the other hand so it can show off its mad skillz… Work on your ‘edging’.

Edging is when you go as close to orgasm as you can – and then back off. Don’t tip yourself over that edge, however tempting. Building up and slowing down has benefits – when you eventually have let go, it’ll be a sweet, sweet release. The longer you build up – the stronger that orgasm will be.

And whilst we’re on the subject of “goals” – not having an orgasm is common for millions of women, and maybe you are one of them. Don’t bash yourself for it. Having an orgasm is a learned thing, and it takes time.

I once worked with a young woman who had never had an orgasm, and she asked me if that was “bad”. I answered that it wasn’t – but that maybe she should practice more. I suggested getting some lube and a rabbit vibrator, as they are the go-to vibe for women over the world. A few days later she arrived at with a huge smile on her face. She’d had her very first orgasm. 

 

About Renee:

Renée is the award-winning Senior Store Manager (ETO Awards 2014 & 2015) and sex educator at female-focused erotic boutique Sh!, where she also teaches educational classes for women & couples. She focuses on female sexuality and regularly presents at Café V, the support group for female survivors of sexual violence. Renée writes a regular column for Erotic Trade Only magazine and dreams of penning a bestselling sex guide one day.

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Sex and Creativity

Sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities.

Erica Jong

(Archived post)

Sex toy incentiveMG00625-20140322-1049My husband knows I’m always looking for interesting articles about sex. He sent me one the other day about masturbation as a treatment for restless leg syndrome (It’s orgasm that actually seems to help. The means is optional.) This led us to an impromptu discussion of all of the other benefits of sex. Sex is a good sleep aid, sex can help with weight loss, sex can improve skin, hair and nails, just to name a few. The jury, however, is still out on whether sex is an aid or a deterrent to creativity.

For the nay-sayers, abstinence has long been touted as a way to focus sexual energy for creative purposes. On the other hand, a study at the University of Newcastle-on-Tyne and the Open University showed that professional poets and artists had almost twice as many sex partners as other people. The study also showed that the number of sex partners increased as creative output went up. The conclusion drawn was that the more creative you are, the more sex partners you were likely to have.

I’m sure that’s a simplification, but I wonder which came first the sex or the creativity? Is it the creative force that makes us horny, or is it being horny that makes us creative? My guess is that every writer, poet or artist would answer that question differently. However, I don’t think there’s any denying the close connection between the creative force and sexuality. Nor do I think that’s particularly surprising. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Freud was right. It IS all about sex. But what I’m not sure of is that we really understand just what sex is all about.

Yes, the basic biology of it’s obvious, but we humans haven’t had sex simply to procreate in a very long time now. We’ve evolved to want, to expect, even to need more from the sex act than just the next generation. Perhaps that goes hand in hand with the evolution of what civilizes us, what sets us apart from our animal cousins — at least in our own eyes. For humans, many of our basic needs have evolved two meanings. First there is the concrete realm in which we’re born, nurtured, thrive, pass on our genes and die. But we develop another level of meaning when we no longer have to use all of our energy just to survive. When starvation is no longer an issue, food and its preparation and presentation becomes art. When keeping out the cold is no longer an issue, clothing becomes fashion, and magazines tell us how we can be walking galleries for the art of clothing. When finding shelter from the elements is no longer an issue, the very homes we live in become an artistic expression of ourselves. Artistic expression, for us, has become as important as function.

But all of these necessities are concrete. Sex is not. In the days of our ancestor, sex was the magic by which two people become three. Today sex is the magic by which two people become one, or by which one person becomes more herself or himself. Procreation has given way to re-creation, on the one hand, but on the other hand, how can an act that has evolved from the very need to create the next generation be rooted in anything but creativity?

How can the process of creating not be sexual in nature? Writing a story is a penetrative act resulting in something larger, something much more alive than the words on the page, than the idea conceived. That’s heady stuff. That’s the writer in full rut. It’s intimate, it’s messy, it’s rough and tumble, it’s voyeurism and exhibitionism and full-on heat. If it isn’t, then there hardly seems to be a point.

That being said, anyone who has had good sex, lingering sex, or even remembers a good teenage feel-up when time wasn’t an issue, and suddenly seemed no longer to exist, will recall that the end was subsumed in the means, the wonder of the act itself, the amazing intimacy with the other. Any writer or artist knows that experience up close and personal. At some point the creative act itself becomes the sum total of existence. The writer’s world shrinks to and expands out from that act, and the end no longer matters.

So how did I get from masturbation for restless leg syndrome to once more worshiping at the altar of the Divine Creative Sexual Force? Well I suppose it’s all just a part of the journey isn’t it? And besides, where else would I be expected to go with it?

Consenting Adults: Let’s Stop Beating Around The Bush

It’s my pleasure to welcome back Chris Unity Bowness for the second installment of Consenting Adults, and just in time for Masturbation Month!

Chris-Bowness-Newsletter-logoUnity.1As masturbation month heads towards its climax I’ve decided to finish it off by talking about toys and specifically male sex toys.

There is an odd quirk I’ve noticed, and even more so during the celebration of self love in May. On one hand the talk of female masturbation and especially sex toys has been high on the agenda. However, on the other hand, this is in contrast to the lack of discussion of male self pleasure and specifically male sex toys, which usually doesn’t extend past mutual couple masturbation. In general I find it a subject not many people are comfortable with, as it conjures up many negative images. There are many reasons behind this and many assumptions made and this needs to change.

However, I’ve noticed that when it comes to the wider society this quirk takes on a more interesting turn. Though society is uncomfortable with the idea that women enjoy self pleasure and often paints women who do in a negative light,  female sex toy coverage is everywhere in the mainstream. On the flipside it is pretty much taken for granted that every man wanks, but from what I’ve seen there is very little discussion of male sex toys in the solo sense.

These are just my observations of the sex positive media I take in on a daily basis, and I’m not here to start a gender issue. I know there are reasons why discussions not only happen more between women but also why they are needed. However, I believe discussions and better communication about all areas of sex and pleasure not only help demistify sex and, along with it, the positive benifits, but also gets us talking about problems. Ultimately, communication, sharing information and experiences can help us all have better sex lives.

Wanking Wrong

It is important to point out that male sex toys are now far removed from the image of the grubby mac. We should be encouraging men and women to talk about male masturbation and we should be encouraging male sex toys.

One of the big reasons men’s sex toys should be promoted more and talked about is that many of the sexual problems men suffer can be partly the result of years of bad masturbation habits, and the fact that men don’t masturbate the way they have sex. Issues from premature ejacultion, loss of erection, not being able to climax through penetration, and others could be down to how you toss yourself off. Using toys and thinking differently during self pleasure through the use of sex toys could lead to a great improvement.

The Tool Shed

Male sex toys have come a long way since the infamous blow up doll scene in British comedy Only Fools And Horses. Toys are now as sleek, well designed and as thought through as their female counterparts, with some being produced by the same sex toy companies such as Lelo, Pipedream, Rocks Off and Doc Johnson to name a few. So to show that there is more than one way to spank a monkey* here are my tips on the range of male sex toys available and what they can do for you.

Chris Bowness cock ringCock Rings

Cock Rings may be something many have come across during sex with a partner but they are also great for solo play. Most commonly, cock rings can be placed around the base of the penis or around the penis and balls and for that reason they come in different sizes, but also vary greatly in design, functions and now even shape, For Example: the new Endless Cock Ring which aims to stay in place with it’s new twist feature.

Cock Rings can give you a larger, firmer erection and ultimately a more sensitive penis allowing you to learn to control your penis more not just during masturbation but also during penetrative sex.

Masturbators

“What’s the point? You’ve got a hand.” Is the most common response to discussions regarding male sex toys but if that Chris Bowness Versprechenwhere the case you’d hear it in regards to female sex toys too. Masturbators such as the recently award nominated Verspanken shows there is much more to male pleasure than a clammy palm. Many masturbators, like the Verspanken, allow men to play around with different textures, feelings and even temperature, all of this helping men towards a more fulfilling solo experience but also allowing us to experience the different ways we could enjoy sex with a partner.

Fake Pussies

The male equivalent of the dildo, Fake Pussies, come in all forms from tubes in which you can place your cock to some that are even designed and moulded from the pussy of your favourite porn star, to full bodyChris Bowness artificial pussy toys which include a pussys, boobs and even a place to perform anal sex. For Example: see Pipedream Extreme Series.

Men have been using their hands to wank for a lot longer than they’ve been having penetrative sex and they’ve holding themselves too tight, making themselves come as quickly as possible and also the fact they are tugging rather than thrusting can create a whole host of problems when it comes to having penetrative sex.

Fake pussies can address these problems; by helping you control the tightness, not only prolonging orgasm but also encouraging you to thrust rather than pull, which can help you control the sexual energy and pleasure that builds in the groin, hips and lower abdomen during sexual intercourse.

Prostate Massagers

Chris bowness prostate stimulaterYep! You read right toys which allow you to gain pleasure from the massaging of your prostate. Not only is there actual health benefits involved as prostate stimuation keeps your prostate healthy but you will also, through practice, be able to reach a whole new level of pleasure and orgasm.

Furthermore, it will lead you to the skill of multiple orgasms not only allowing you to control your orgasms and sexual energy but help you focus on other areas of your body, prolonging climax. Prostate play will help to make the distinction between orgasm, climax and ejacultion allowing you greater control of those seperate pleasures and giving you more control and allowing for communication of what you like when you are with a lover.

My advice here though is to start small — possibly with your finger — and learn where your prostate is, how to stimulate it and get used to the sensations before diving into buying a toy. For a quick guide to health benefits head over to this information by Lelo and where you can find Billy, one of the best selling p-spot massagers. For further reading; there are also many books available such as The Multi Orgasmic Couple and also recent release The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman.

Climax

These are just the main areas of male sex toys, but each area has a whole range of products, variations and prices within them and I hope I have given you motivation to explore. If there is any specific recommendations or further information you’d like please use the comments box below.

Ultimately, masturbation and self exploration through sex toys, whatever gender or sexual orientation, is very self nurturing, self loving and can help us get in touch with ourselves in a deep way before we let others in.  It can help us learn more about what we like, what turns us on and what makes for a better orgasm. Having a better understanding of ourselves can go a long way to better self awareness and communication, in the exchanging of turn-ons, when we have sex with a partner. We can not only help ourselves be better lovers but also allow for an all round heightened mutual experience.

Obviously, anybody who is suffering from problems in sexual performance I first encourage to seek medical advice to discover if there is any underlying health issues and then you are welcome to explore the above.

If you have a partner with a penis and would like to encourage them to explore sex toys, many men find it more comfortable to speak to someone in more comfortable surroundings and if you are in the London area there is no better place to visit than the Sh! Womenstore in Hoxton. Not only do they help couples explore penetrative sex but also solo exploration. They also have special evenings men can visit and get advice and they also hold a whole range of classes including spanking and blow jobs to name a few.

*no euphemisms were hurt during the writing of this article.

Sh!’s Lovely Renee Gives Tips for Women to Make the Most of National Masturbation Month and Beyond!

To help celebrate National Masturbation Month, it’s my pleasure to welcome back Sh!‘s manager, sexy lady extraordinaire and a very good friend of mine, Renee Denyer. Renee has agreed to give a few helpful hints for getting the best out of a good wank.  Welcome back, Renee!

Sisters Should Be Doing It For Themselves!Renee

When talking about masturbation, many (if not most) women come over all shy and bashful. ‘We don’t ‘do’ masturbation’ (well, we do – but it’s not polite to talk about it). Ask any man, and he’ll proudly tell you he ‘knocked one out’ in the shower this morning, and I even know one man who’ll tell all and sundry that he masturbates twice a day (that certainly explains the stack of wet wipes in his bathroom!), on top of any partner-sex he may be lucky enough to get.

Why is it that us women can’t/won’t share tips on how to flick our beans?

Well, I believe it stems from childhood and being told that ‘nice girls don’t.’ Proud fathers will hand their teenage sons copies of ‘Busty Babes’ whilst bemused mums turn a blind eye. (My OH, for example, even kept a scrap book of all his favourite pictures of knickerless and pert-breasted young ladies during his teenage years. I was rather amused when we realised his mum had kept the homemade wank-mag amongst washed-out old Iron Maiden t-shirts all these years!). Daughters, on the other hand, are told to keep their hands off their privates (and preferably not let anyone else near them either) until they’re at least 30…

Unfair? Hell Yes!

Here at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, we’ve met so many women who don’t know how to pleasure themselves that we decided to put together a

Rosie
Rosie

class on how to wank. Yep. It’s true. We teach women how to masturbate. With the help of Rosie, we show some tried & tested techniques, and then send the female guests on their merry way with some juicy homework. See, all you really need for a great session is a bottle of lube and dexterous fingers (failing that, a good toy will do the job just as well)!

Imagine the clit as a clock face (the ‘clit-face’). Women often report that 10—11 am and 1-2 pm are the most sensitive spots, so hone in on them, but don’t forget that the entire vulva will want in on the action. Slidey, sensual moves are great for a sexy starter; feel your way around. You’ll find that some spots feel better than others, so enjoy them for as long as you like. If you decide to invite more pleasure-spots to the party, the G-spot will probably be thrilled with an invite!

For the main, a finger or two may work wonders inside. The vaginal canal quite likes having something to grip on to, so you may find this is a real treat. If you find it awkward to reach, a vibrator (or a dildo) may be just the thing. Your pc muscles can clench around the toy whilst your fingers slide around on the external parts of your vulva, and you can have lots of hot fun this way!

Breathing deeply, right down into your stomach, will help increase your arousal levels and by this point you may well find yourself pretty hot and ready for more!

You could try adding some warming lube like ID Sensation for extra effect. ID Sensation contains L’Arginine which ensures increased blood flow to FILTHY-FRIDAY-BANNERyour vulva, making it nice and juicy as well as much more receptive to stimulation.  I also recommend giving Tickle Her Pink sachets a go – I absolutely swear by these! Amazing stuff!

An erotic book or something sexy on the laptop will help you get worked up, too. We offer **FREE** erotica from an excellent selection of authors (Like KD!) on our blog every Friday (Filthy Friday), so make sure you hop on over for some free weekly smut! We’ll be enjoying Sexy Snax this Filthy Friday from Learning to Soar by Bebe Balocca

Renee masturbationlearningtosoar_800-1Stats show that 70-80% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and you are much better off trying to learn what works for you all by yourself before adding a lover into the mix. If *you* don’t know what works for you, it’s unlikely that your partner will hit the right spot…

Keep your masturbation under wraps until you are ready to show off your new skills – it’s incredibly hot watching a partner get themselves off, so expect fireworks once your private show is over! (#BONUS!)

In these cash-strapped times, we are all looking for good-value activities, and you know, masturbation is absolutely FREE (as well as a healthy way of getting some colour on your cheeks and a twinkle in your eye!).  So, Ladiez – get your lube, get a copy of one of KD Grace or Grace Marshall’s books for inspiration, lock the door, switch your phone off and get masturbating!

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Oh, and before I go: Big Thanxx to KD Grace for letting me talk wanking on her awesome blog!

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Renee is the Senior Store Manager at female-focused erotic boutique Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium in Hoxton Square. She has her fingers in many pies and spends her days talking about G-spots, P-spots and any other spots you may have found in your nether regions.

When she is not selling sex toys to the women & couples of London, she can be found at home with a thrilling book and a glass of pink wine, surrounded by her beloved bunnies (of the furry variety).

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