I’ve had several blog tours recently, and in all of those tours, I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing several of my characters. Believe me, even as the author, it’s amazing what I learn from these interviews. You can find some of those interviews in the Book page of my blog, under GETTING PERSONAL, and more will be added soon.
One interview that didn’t quite make it to the Getting Personal section, however, is … well it’s a bit of a failed interview, actually, though I’d had such high hopes for it. As you might imagine, I was absolutely dying for this interview, but incredibly nervous about it, because … well, it was an interview with Tino from my novel, The Pet Shop. Trouble is Tino’s a human Pet, and I knew going in that Tino’s being a Pet could make the interview, well, complicated. But it was Tino! How can I possibly resist? Well, it didn’t quite go according to plan, and really, it’a a little bit embarrassing, but I brought the interview out from the drawer, dusted it off and decided to share it with you anyway. Please ignore the drool marks.
I was really lucky to get an interview with Tino because Tino’s The Pet Shop’s most popular Pet, and his schedule is always full. But just looking at those lovely dark eyes and that bedroom mussed auburn hair, (breathe, KD, breathe!) I can see why. Anyway, Tino had to work me in to his schedule, after all he does have a starring role in MY novel. So he owes me.
KD: Welcome, Tino! (smooths hair, checks breath in hand) It’s lovely of you to let me Interview you. I just want to say that it’s a real pleasure to meet you in person and…
Oh, sorry, folks, just checking The Pet Minder’s Manual. It says Pets only wear close in public and they’re much more comfortable naked. I certainly wouldn’t want Tino to be uncomfortable, so I’ll just get him out of this shirt. (breathe, KD, Breathe!) And now the trousers and then we can get on with the… Oh my! (checks to make sure she’s not actually drooling)
There now, that’s better, isn’t it, Tino? Ah, that’s sweet. Tino’s sitting on the floor now with his head resting on my thigh. I think that means he likes me. I have been assured that he won’t bite… not unless I tell him to. Though I do hear that he does have a reputation for being a bit, naughty at times. I suppose that’s my fault because, well, I did write him that way. Anyway, on with the interview.
KD: So, Tino, tell us about being a Pet. What’s it like having a keeper for a weekend and letting them take care of you and feed you and bathe you? And what’s it like taking care of their needs, if you know what I mean.
KD: … Um … I know the Pet Minder’s manual says that Pets don’t talk. Okay, I can understand that, Tino. I understand you staying in character and all. No doubt that’s what makes having a Pet such a stimulating experience. But this is an interview. I mean you’re not really MY Pet. Surely you could just give us a little clue.
KD: Okay, maybe that question’s a bit personal. We certainly don’t want to infringe on the privacy of any of your keepers, Tino. Here’s a good
question, and I’m sure our readers are dying to know. I’ve heard that no one actually knows where The Pet Shop is, not even the Pets. I’ve heard that Pets come and go by way of black vans and they never see the route. Is that true? I’ve heard that some people have chosen to become full-time Pets and never leave the Pet Shop, but others, like you, enjoy having a keeper. Is that true?
KD: Tino? Tino what are you doing? Tino, stop that! Stop that right now. You’re a bad boy! You know you’re not supposed to play with your… er to behave badly in front of strangers. (whispers next to Tino’s ear) Look, Tino, I know you want to play, but I’m trying to do an interview here, for godsake!
Oh dear. Jeez. This is a bit embarrassing, everyone, I do apologize. He’s bent over offering me his bottom. And the manual does say that naughty Pets have to be punished. It says they have to be taught who’s the alpha in the Pet/keeper relationship, and… er I guess that would be me. It says that I either need to use my hand or a rolled up newspaper on that lovely backside. Could you folks excuse me for just a minute. (smacks luscious offered-up bare bottom until it’s nice and pink.) Wow! I never realized before just how a good spanking applied to a tight, muscular bottom can sting one’s hand. Oooh, that’s tender. Never mind.
Now then, where were we? Oh yes. You’re probably wondering why I’m interviewing a Pet from the Pet Shop when he isn’t allowed to even speak. Well, first of all, let me just say if you could see this luscious pink bottom, and the rest of the package you wouldn’t have to ask. But, actually that’s only a part of the reason I wanted to interview Tino. You see, I have it on good authority that in his life in the real world, Tino is actually the reclusive, richer-than-God eco-warrior, and entrepreneur, Vincent Evanston. Problem is, no one has seen the man in ages. But Stella James has shown me archive photos of Vincent Evanston, and we agree. He sure looks a lot like Tino.
Actually, I was able to catch up with Vincent Evanston. I managed to get hold of his unlisted Blackberry number. You probably wonder how I could do that when no one else knows where he’s even at. Well, it’s simple really. He’s my character. I thought since he could talk and Tino might not that maybe I could get a statement out of him.
Poor timing on my part, really. I caught him in the woods photographing pileated woodpeckers. He really didn’t appreciate the interruption. But when I asked him if he were Tino, he just sort of growled at me and said, I quote, ‘Tino’s not here.’ Then he hung up on me. Kind of rude, really, but you can be that way when your rich and brooding, and you look like…well you look like Tino. Only with clothes – outdoorsy, manly, sexy sort of clothes…
I’m a little disappointed really. I’m a pretty good interviewer, and I was sure if anyone could get Tino to talk, I could. But instead, he’s just sitting on the floor licking my leg with that delicious, pink tongue of his, and sitting kind of tenderly on that tight little bottom I just spanked, which I have to say, leaves his lovely junk, rather well-exposed. (Makes an effort not to look. Sort of.) Still, I did write Tino, after all. If anyone can get him to talk, it should be me. Let’s try again.
KD: Tino, rumour has it you’re spending an awful lot of time with the new employee over at the Stridgida Company, Stella James. And I hear she’s scheduled you to spend yet another weekend with her. She knows you’re not cheap, right? Frankly I’m surprised she’d have you at all, since I hear she’s a bit of a prude.
Tino: … (Nips my thigh and rubs himself against it)
KD: Oh dear! I’ll take that to mean Stella’s no prude. Maybe we’ve worked out a code here, a way of communicating that doesn’t involve talking. This is a good sign. So, Tell me, Tino, is it possible that a certain very popular Pet might be a little bit smitten? Tino! Tino, stop humping my leg! God, this is so embarrassing. Stop it right now or I’ll have to punish you again.
Wait a minute. Why do I get the feeling you might be liking this whole spanking thing just a little too much…
Anyway, I heard while Stella was in Oregon on business, she actually met Vincent Evanston, quite by accident. Sorry Tino, but that sounds like way more than a coincidence to me. And if anyone can get to the bottom of this whole Tino/Vincent mystery, well I think Stella is the woman to do it. Surely you have something to say to that, Tino?
KD: Tino! Tino stop it. Tino this is a proper interview for proper folks and ;asdofn eoi aflkej a rk. Tino, am I going to have to spknf;asdoj you again? Tino. Tino. Oh dear God!
Umm. That’s it for the interview, folks I’m happy we hadal ldkf;lkeoi.. (breathe K D, breath) I hope you’ll alkmlasdfl The Pet Shop. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m alskdfu and I really have to alkhelfobadfff mmmmmmmm.
In appreciation for a job well done, STELLA JAMES’s boss sends her a Pet for the weekend – a human Pet. The mischievous TINO comes straight from THE PET SHOP complete with a collar, a leash, and an erection. Stella soon discovers that the pleasure of keeping Pets, especially this one, is extremely addicting.
Obsessed with Tino and with the reclusive philanthropist, VINCENT EVANSTON, who looks like Tino, but couldn’t be more different, Stella is drawn into the secret world of The Pet Shop. As her animal lust awakens, Stella must walk the thin line that separates the business of pleasure from the more dangerous business of the heart or suffer the consequences.
Wet and cold, Stella was trembling hard enough that is was an effort not to spill the cocoa. ‘You’re Tino, aren’t you?’ She spoke between chattering teeth.
His back stiffened slightly, then relaxed again as he continued to dig through his pack. ‘I’m Vincent.’
She sat the cup down next to her and chafed her arms. ‘I know you’re Vincent, Vincent Evanston, but you’re Tino. I mean he’s you, isn’t he?’
He turned on her quickly and grabbed her shoulders so that she feared he would shake her. Instead he began to chafe her arms, his dark eyes locked on hers. ‘I told you, Tino’s not here.’
‘But I — ’
He swallowed up her words in an open-mouth kiss, taking her breath away, taking away her ability to think with the heat of it, the expressive depth of it. He bit her lip as he pulled back, still holding her gaze. ‘Tino’s not here,’ he repeated. His voice held the tiniest edge of warning.