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Posts Tagged ‘BDSM’

Educating KD

Though it may sound like it, ‘Educating KD’ isn’t the title of my next novel or of a hot new short story. It’s just a good description of what happened to me yesterday evening at the Hoxton Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium.

Writing erotica is a constant sex education. I’m always learning something new, and I often find myself amazed at the many facets of human sexuality. A lot of my stories involve a bit of punishment for bad behaviour (or lack thereof), and that punishment is often a soundly applied spanking. Even people who might not want it as apart of their own bedroom play may still enjoy reading erotic stories that involve spanking. There’s something very primal about it, something as basic as trusting the person with the power, or even abdicating that power willingly, which makes it an excellent topic for sexy stories. All manner of wild and forbidden things can happen when someone else is wielding the riding crop.

I arrived a little before the 6:30 start time to have a warm cuppa, dry out from the rain, and look around at all the fun toys and gifts and the great selection of erotic books. When it was time, the manager, Joanna, and her new assistant manager, Ludi, ushered me downstairs where all the classes are taught. Downstairs is also where the famous pink velvet settee is. That’s where writers get to sit and read sexy stories when Sh! has book readings. But this wasn’t a setee sort of evening. A table was laid in the centre of the room with a full array of spanking impliments, all in pretty girlie colours, along with some smart black PVC and leather thrown in for fun.

As I sipped pink fizz, the Sh! Chix demonstrated the use of spankers, floggers, two-tails, crops, cat-o-nine-tails, and the age-old favourite — the human hand. There was a lovely bull-whip, but lack of space and expertise (definitely a don’t-try-this-at-home sort of toy) meant I was only allowed to fondle it. I’m told that often some of the larger whips and floggers are used more for the impressive explosive cracking sound they make when striking a pillow or a bed, or a pink setee. I was impressed! They can also be used simply to stroke, tease, and caress.

Joanna tells me that spanking releases tension, and the release of that tension can often come in the form of crying or laughing, then the body responds with a flood of endorphins, probably the real reason why spanking is so popular.

By the end of the evening I’d had a chance to flog and be flogged, spank and be spanked, and I felt like I had a much better understanding of the anatomy of a spanking. Since this was introductory spanking through the comfy padding of my jeans, I didn’t experience the endorphin rush, but I got something better. I got to go upstairs and shop afterward!

 

Fantasies

Grab a scrap of paper and a pen and write down very briefly and generally your top ten erotic fantasies.

Have you done it?

Good. Now let’s compare.

According to AskMen.com, women’s top ten fantasies are just as raunchy as men’s. No surprise there. I’ve always maintained that we women have much dirtier minds than men do. Unfortunately, we’ve been socialized on a huge diet of guilt and self-doubt where sex is concerned. The good news is we’re doing our best, in spite of the opposition, to overcome.

Most of the top shelf erotica now in main stream book stores, as well as online, is erotica written for, and by women, and a lot of it blends great story-telling with blow-your-hair-back, burst-into-flame, nuclear sex. If you want the skinny on what goes on in our very dirty minds, women’s erotica is the place to look, and what a fun place it is!

So here it is. According the AskMen, the list of fantasies in reverse order are: dominating and being dominated, teacher/student, sex with a stranger, threesomes – MFM, FMF, voyeurism, force fantasies, exhibitionism, private dancer.

There they are, ladies, our faves. How accurate is the list? I can only speak for myself, but based on the women’s erotica I’ve read, and written, I was surprised to find being a private dancer at the top of the list. I was equally surprised that girl-on-girl wasn’t on the list. I would have also expected to find spanking and punishment in the mix, although I’m sure most of us can slot those in nicely in the teacher/student category, or dominating and being dominated.

Most of the fantasies on Ask Men’s list (and a fair few not on the list) I have written about in my short fiction and in The Initiation of Ms Holly. I’m not sure how Ask Men came up with their list, but based on the women’s erotica I’ve read and written, my list would have been similar. How about yours?

IN OTHER NEWS: A big BOOOO goes out to Facebook this week for deleting the 3,000 + member sex-positive women’s empowerment group, “Our Porn, Ourselves” founded by Violet Blue. Sadly, the above-mentioned opposition we women are constantly battling is alive and well.

Taking back our sexuality and owning and understanding it is an ongoing battle, one in which, unfortunately, we women are often our own worst enemies. Asertions aren’t facts, and zeal is no substitute for truth. Thanks, Suzanne Forbes and Carnal Nation for reminding us.

 

BWE 2010 is Sexy!

Sex SF has included Best Women’s Erotica 2010 on its ten sexy books of 2009 list.

 
© 2017 K D Grace
The Romance Reviews

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