Tag Archives: BDSM

The Education of K D: Erotica’s Steep Learning Curve

I just spent a good chunk of last evening on line trying to find a decent definition of kink. Never did find one I thought was satisfactory. But what I did find was a very good online BDSM dictionary to save to my stash of smutting tools. When I was writing The Initiation of Ms Holly, I made multiple trips into London to question the wonderful chicks at Sh! Women’s Store about strap-ons and spanking and blindfolding.  I spent an afternoon online learning amazing things about chastity belts. And that’s just the physical stuff. I find myself learning why semen is good for women, why porn is healthy, and what happens in the human brain during sex.  And the list goes on.

One of the best things about writing erotica, one of the things I would have never thought about before I penned my first smut, was the steep learning curve. I’ll be the first to admit, I usually try sneaking in the back door first, no pun intended. One of the best ways of educating myself to what is out there is to read what other erotica writers have written. I guess in some ways it’s voyeurism for smutters.

Writing is learning; I’ve always known that. There are stories that can be written without much effort or research, but the act of choosing the right words and getting just the right nuances, or analyzing why what some other writer has done works so well, is a learning process in itself. So I learn as I write.

But writing erotica is different in its learning curve because of the average person’s shocking lack of sexual education  – myself included. And because sadly sex is one of those things people don’t talk about in ‘proper company.’ Though it may be true that there are no stupid questions, people are still embarrassed to ask and embarrassed to seek out answers where sex is concerned. M niece has taught university classes on women’s sexuality, and she says what shocked her most was how little women actually know about their own sexuality.  I have no trouble believing that. Though I’ve always considered myself fairly well informed about sex and extremely aware of my own sexuality, as I began to write erotica I was surprised by my own ignorance.

The frightening thing about ignorance is that it can breed resistance to things that aren’t in our own sexual context. I’ve tried very hard not to be prejudiced about facets of human sexuality of which I don’t know enough to judge. But the battle against resistance is on-going. And interestingly enough, I find that my resistance is directly proportionate to my ignorance.  Not too surprising, really. That’s usually the case with ignorance. We tend to fear and villainize what we don’t understand.

Which leads me back to the high learning curve for erotica writers. True, we write about what we imagine, but our imaginations work better with a basic understanding of as many facets of human sexuality as possible. Not only do our imaginations work better, but our hearts work better as well. Our minds are more open and accepting. The old saying  ‘knowledge is power’ is never more true than where human sexuality is concerned. And one of the fringe benefits to writing erotica is that all that scrambling to do research, to understand why people find certain things arousing, to understand what actually happens on a physiological level when we have sex, to understand the sociology and psychology and science and history of human sexuality, is empowerment.

Empowerment means I can better understand aspects of sexuality in their proper context. It means less reason for resistance; that means less fear. It means more compassion, more asking enlightened questions and more desire to share what I know.

If knowledge is power, then the real power we erotic writers have is the power to share all aspects of human sexuality, the power to portray its many facets openly and honestly and approachably through story. True enough — we don’t set out to educate. We’re mostly all about entertainment, all about fun, but inadvertently we do educate. Inadvertently we open up the windows and doors and let light shine into the part of our humanity that has been kept in the dark far too long.

Yes, I know, I’ve just made all smutters sound like campaigners for the cause, dressed in corsets of righteousness. But the education, the empowerment, the coming to grips with all the many facets of human sexuality, well all that’s a long-winded way of saying —  I write erotica because it’s fun, and the education of K D is just a lovely fringe benefit, one more reason to feel really good about what I do.

(Sex) Toys R Us – Well At Least Sexy Novels

 Never underestimate the playful nature of a human being, no matter what age. My ever vigilant husband has just discovered The Initiation of Ms Holly selling in a most unusual place. It’s not surprising to find Holly in train stations, airports, bookstores, even sex shops, but Toys R Us? That’s right, The Initiation of Ms Holly is now selling at Toys R Us in the UK!

 I’m always happy to find my work selling in places I didn’t expect, but I find the idea of Holly amidst the Space Hoppers and Barbie dolls and remote control race cars the coolest thing ever! Little Susie and Tommy get their toys, and mummy and daddy get theirs too. Everybody goes home happy.

 I’ve never liked the idea that once we reach a certain age, we aren’t supposed to play with toys any longer, and that Holly is in a toy store seems a vindication of my battle cry of ‘toys for all ages.’ Frankly the thought of reading The Initiation of Ms Holly on a Space Hopper is the stuff that fantasies are made of.

A Peek at The Pet Shop

The Pet Shop now has a cover! And the fabulous folks at Xcite Books have assured me the rest is not far behind.  Here is just a glimpse of what you can expect when you open that cover. 

In appreciation for a job well done, STELLA JAMES ‘s boss sends her a Pet for the weekend – a human Pet. The mischievous TINO comes straight from THE PET SHOP complete with a collar, a leash, and an erection. Stella soon discovers that the pleasure of keeping Pets, especially this one, is extremely addicting.

Obsessed with Tino and with the reclusive philanthropist, VINCENT EVANSTON, who looks like Tino, but couldn’t be more different, Stella is drawn into the secret world of The Pet Shop. As her animal lust awakens, Stella must walk the thin line that separates the business of pleasure from the more dangerous business of the heart or suffer the consequences.

A  Peek Inside 

Wet and cold, Stella was trembling hard enough that is was an effort not to spill the cocoa. ‘You’re Tino, aren’t you?’ She spoke between chattering teeth.                       

His back stiffened slightly, then relaxed again as he continued to dig through his pack. ‘I’m Vincent.’

She sat the cup down next to her and chafed her arms. ‘I know you’re Vincent, Vincent Evanston, but you’re Tino. I mean he’s you, isn’t he?’

He turned on her quickly and grabbed her shoulders so that she feared he would shake her. Instead he began to chafe her arms, his dark eyes locked on hers. ‘I told you, Tino’s not here.’ 

‘But I — ’

He swallowed up her words in an open-mouth kiss, taking her breath away, taking away her ability to think with the heat of it, the expressive depth of it. He bit her lip as he pulled back, still holding her gaze. ‘Tino’s not here,’ he repeated. His voice held the tiniest edge of warning.

Foreplay with Holly!

It’s never any big surprise these days when good stuff gets banned from Facebook. The fabulous Sarah Berry was the victim of yesterday’s banning — twice. Facebook banned her post about the next meeting of the great women’s self-help, discussion, and just all around ‘proud to be a female’ group, Fannying Around, which Sarah facilitates once a month at Sh! Women’s Store. If that wasn’t enough, Sarah’s Facebook avatar was also banned. Her Avatar is usually the cover of the latest edition of Foreplay Magazine, of which she is the feisty, intrepid, and outrageously sexy, editor. As it happens the banned cover is the cover of this month’s issue which contains an XXXtract from my novel, The Initiation of Ms Holly. I feel very proud to have Holly behind that delicious, yellow, Facebook-banned. Foreplay cover.

Here’s just a little teaser if what’s inside:

 What if Edward was just the gang leader, like some kind of mafia boss, and what if she never saw the light of day again? She’d heard all kinds of rumors about the mysterious Mount. Where the hell was her sense of self preservation? Was her wounded pride worth her going along with this insanity – insanity that might be very dangerous?

 She was seriously contemplating yanking off the blindfold and making a run for it when the door burst open and Edward called her name. Suddenly she was engulfed in his arms and her mouth was consumed with his kisses. He pulled away just enough to speak, his breath coming in fast, tense gulps against her parted lips. ‘Are you all right, Rita?’

 Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.com

 Xcite Books

Lily Harlem’s Scorching Hot Novella, ‘The Mother of All Hen Nights’- What happened just before Happy Ever After

After the glass slipper and before happily ever after, ever wonder what Cinderella and her girl friends got up to on her hen night? Well, Lily Harlem did, and her resulting novella, The Mother of All Hen Nights, is a kick-arse, fast paced, hotter than fire night out at the Turret Club with Belle, Rapunzel and Tinkerbell all out to show innocent little Cinders a good time and hopefully teach her a thing or two about men before the big fairy tale wedding to Prince Charming and the mother of all surprises on the wedding night.

While Cinders gets educated in ways to handle a lusty prince, Rapunzel gets tied up in the basement where she brings out the animal in The Beast. The tongue in cheek fun never ends and the temperature never drops below the lusty boiling point. Lily Harlem’s fun feisty fairy tale Mother of All Hen Nights is a must read.